• Published 26th Mar 2017
  • 2,110 Views, 58 Comments

Chrysalis's New Dupe - deadpansnarker

The story of how a former brony was forcibly ejected from Earth into a new form to become Queen Chrysalis's unwilling assistant in her revenge plot against those darn ponies is a long and interesting one. And it starts... now.

  • ...

Chapter 2: Training Begins

"Hup-to! Hup-to! Come on, you worthless sack of pony droppings: I want to see that disgustingly puny body of yours give me at least at least another forty! Don't you ever want to go home... to meet up with your friends, family or whatever else might be waiting for you back on that dismal green and blue floating orb in the sky? Because at the moment, you're far closer to seeing a close-up of my hoof imprinted in your face again, than any nauseatingly sweet happy reunions. Now, lift your head up... stretch those muscles... and stop shaming the entire Changeling race with your pathetic efforts, if you would be so kind!"

Huh, it's alright for her... I thought exhaustedly as I struggled to raise my weary head more than a few feet off the rocky ground. She was born in this crazy, mixed-up world, as well being one of the most powerful villains in the entire canon. Me? I'm the bumbling tourist on the scene, with absolutely no clue where I am (I didn't recognise this region on my Official Map To Equestria wall poster, funnily enough) and stuck in the unfamiliar, feeble form of a mute hole-ridden bug monster who happens to be female to hoof. Still, the jokes on her. At least I'm still alive. Ha Ha Ha... Ouch.

"I said, I want more push-ups!" Her Queen Bitchiness otherwise known as Chrysalis demanded loudly, as she clobbered me for what felt like the billionth time that week. "I'm training you to be a super-soldier, not a super-slacker!! You've already proven your worthlessness by barely being able to hover a few feet off the ground, forgetting the first four stages of a Changeling's life cycle constantly despite plentiful biology lessons and the only way you can eat right now is through sachets of love packaged by yours truly! And, thanks to your incessant appetite, we're down to our last few reserves! Sometimes I think I should just throw you off that cliff over there and start my search anew for a lackey who's the least bit competent. So, unless you wish to start plummeting like a crippled pegasus, you'd better start giving me some damn effort instead of getting distracted by idiotic internal monologues! No more lollygagging for you... we'll start from the beginning again. Now, go."

Frowning intensely while gnashing all two of my teeth together, I wisely decided that discretion was the better part of valour and I didn't share my personal thoughts with Chrysalis at that time because a) I was never too good at charades and b) she was at least ten times bigger than me, and could tear me up into black confetti while simultaneously taking a pee. I actually saw the latter once, and it wasn't a very pretty sight. Let me just mention the word 'acidic', and also add that the lack of plantlife around here was no longer a mystery, and you should be able to get the picture.

Anyway, I couldn't help but feel the ahem 'lady' was being a trifle harsh with her criticism regarding my popularity at home and the progress I'd made so far since I became a decaying freak. Sure, most of my family thought I was a Grade A loser who'd never amount to anything, my friends regarded me with the same level of affection one reserves for a virulent case of foot fungus and the last time I had a steady girlfriend was when the PS2 and Dreamcast were all the rage. But the barman always seemed to love my visits, he would often listen to me ramble on for hours about the unfairness of life... as long as I ordered a drink every ten minutes, of course. Real understanding guy, that one. I'll miss him while I'm stuck in Mad Max country.

Also, I'm pretty sure that my uncompromising trainer was only being extra tough because she wanted to push me to ever-dizzying new heights. I had in fact, managed to soar a whole two inches into the wild blue yonder the other day, and could even give you the name for a baby Changeling as a result of my continual studies. It's 'hatchling'. Clever, huh? And yes, I have been stuffing my face with the precious last few reserves of our love supply, but its not like there's anything else to eat in this desolate wasteland, right? I optimistically thought I may have spotted a wormy-worm squiggling through a gap in the solid rock the other day, but it turned out to be just another half-dead weed poking its head through. Great. Radiohead songs must sound like odes to joy compared to my current lifeless surroundings. I don't envy the guy who'd have to collaborate snaps of this dump for a holiday brochure, put it that way.

Anyway, despite a rather tenuous start to my budding relationship with the Ruler Of All That Is Dark And Unholy, I actually thought we were making some headway. Every time she slapped me about now when I 'dared' to glance in her direction, she didn't beat me up with nearly as much vigour as before... only leaving bruises instead of scars. And when she viciously bites me for yawning during a particularly strenuous physical activity, she only gives me a little nip instead of chewing straight through the bone. That is, if Changelings even have bones. Perhaps that's something that I'll have to ask her later on this evening, when she's in a slightly better mood. Usually, that's the hour she begins describing all the gory ways she's going to dissect Thorax after her inevitable return to power, and how she plans to convert every single damn equine into her mindless slaves. Somewhere between her wicked sneer from ear to ear and her disturbing spine-tingling cackle, they'll be a window of opportunity for my essential question.

In the meantime though, she was performing the part of tireless taskmaster flawlessly, encircling my strained form while beaming obscenities directly into my ailing brain. You could've taken a montage of all the work-outs I've done in the last seven days, paired it with some 'inspirational' music and it would be a hoof-in for any Rocky movie ever made (apart from the last one, it sucked). The only difference being: the improvements I'd made were not quite that radical, and I get the feeling that Eye Of The Tiger was not quite ol' Chrysalis's jam. Something by Iron Maiden might get that dark booty a-shaking, or Slayer perhaps. In fact, this entire sector could be featured as one of their album covers. Maybe I'll put a playlist together for her, if she asks me real nice like.

I'm thinking so hard about such important matters as a Changeling Queen's favourite heavy metal bands and focusing so much on my undeniably virulent case of Stockholm Syndrome, that I completely miss the events of the next few minutes, until the 'beauty' herself brings it up. "H-Hang on... did you just do fifty push-ups without breaking a sweat or even needing me to 'gently nudge' you in the ribs?! I told you I only wanted forty. S-Stop right now, you useless bug. D-Don't you ever listen...?"

Uh Oh. I've been so caught up in my own intricate little daydreams that I'd completely forgot about Her Ladyship's specific instructions. Now, I'll be for it. At least I've discovered a nice, dank spot in the corner of our shared cave where I can recuperate from my numerous injuries. Sounds like I'll be curling up there again tonight, if previous experiences with Madam's temper are anything to go by. Time to brace myself...

Amazingly enough though, the endless torrent of punches, kicks and nibbles never came. The only sensation I felt in the next few seconds I spent cowering on the ground was the whip of the ice cold wind as it lightly caressed my shaking, ready-to-be pulverised form. After many tense seconds of perpetual agony waiting for the big beatdown that never arrived, I somehow mustered the strength to tentatively look upwards...

...And to say I was utterly shocked beyond all reasonable measure would've been the understatement of the millennium. Not that time would've meant much to this apparently ageless Queen, but aannyywwaayy... here she was gazing down at me with a barely disguised mixture of surprise and pride, without a smidgen of her usual toxic hostility. No doubt in the heat of the moment, I found myself blushing a little too: heck, she may have transported me here totally against my will and transmogrified me into this abomination of femininity, but at least she'd just shown the merest hint of happiness for my recent accomplishments. Which is far more than my mother and father ever did for moi. Gotta give her props for that.

Realising that maybe she might be demonstrating just a little too much affection for a simple underling, Chrysalis quickly shook her face free of all unwanted emotion and attempted to address me sternly once more. Her voice however, carried noticeably less venom than before. "W-Well, Chrystal... you've finally proven you can do basic drill exercises, just like every other Changeling who ever lived. Bully for you. Tell you what: I could do with a laugh now. Why don't you try flapping those little nubs you call wings, and fly out to that tiny rocky outcrop way out there in the middle of that pit? If you make it, maybe, just maybe I'll think that we're starting to get somewhere. If not, at least it'll saved me the trouble of wiping your green blood off my hooves. Now, move... please."

My anxious bug eyes followed the sweep of her limb towards a thin piece of land in the centre of a large chasm, and a loud gulp escaped from the back of my throat. With great reluctance and under the watchful stare of my 'Mistress', I tottered over to the edge of the large expanse of black, accidentally dislodging a pebble en route at the conclusion of my short journey.

I listened intently as it bounced downwards for about a minute. I didn't hear any echo. Oh no. Maybe this isn't such a good idea after...

"I said go, you dribbling nincompoop!" Unfortunately, when you have a deposed monarch around as demanding as Chrysalis, the phrase 'I'm having second thoughts' simply doesn't exist. I felt a large hoof shove me in my back, and immediately realised I was falling, falling... goodbye, cruel world. Who'd have thought it would end like this? Killed by a fictional children's villain, in a cartoon wonderland. Try hiring someone to carve that onto my obituary...

...Wait just a life-preserving minute. I'm not falling, falling, falling... I'm flying, flying, flying! Yup, it's all true... somehow the threat of plunging down a bottomless hole for the rest of my unnatural existence has given me the boost I need to move these formerly useless appendages on my back and utilise them for the purpose for which they were actually intended. I looked around in awe to see my titchy wings flapping away like no-one's business, keeping me suspended in mid-air... which was a great accompaniment to the satisfying spectacle of Chrysalis's jaw hitting the ground. Well, not literally: but let's just say her mouth was so wide open in amazement, I could see her darkened tonsils. Huh, Changelings have tonsils. You learn something new every...

"D-Did you forget what I just said, grunt? Fly all the way to the outcrop, then return. Maybe then I'll think that what I'm seeing right now isn't a total fluke caused by the imminent threat of your impending demise." Oops, she's at it again, trying to camouflage her obvious admiration for my startling feat. As I'm sure I stated in a previous chapter, I don't watch a lot of anime, but I do believe Chrysalis is proving herself to be quite the 'tsundere'. If I've spelt it wrong, I'm sorry... it's the first time I've ever had to use that term. My journey into the world of stilted animation and dub versus sub debates starts here. Huzzah.

Regardless, heartened as I was by Chrysalis's subtle yet growing affection for me, it was a cinch to flit over to that little piece of land over the pit, and make my way back again. At least... that's what I thought. For you see, even though I'd finally learned how to do a little more with my wings than levitate slightly above ground like a hummingbird, my underused attachments were still not quite strong enough to keep me airborne for very long, and just as I was about to reach the other side again, they gave way fully. Once more, I found myself falling, falling... So near and yet so....

"It's okay, I've got you!" What the... do mine own eyes deceive me, or did Chrysalis just... No, I hadn't actually gone nuts, but after the events of the last week, who can blame me? It was indeed a hard, solid truth that The Evil Queen had caught me, just as it looked as though I was about to suffer a fate worse than tumbling through interminable blackness for all of eternity (hang on, that would be my fate). She quickly lifted my frantically thrashing form upwards before depositing it roughly on the rim of the chasm, and watched thoughtfully as I kissed the sweet, sweet rock after my all-too-close brush with the Grim Reaper. Or whatever controls death in this parallel universe I've been foisted into (are Applejack's parents really dead? Hmm...)

"Well, you did fail miserably at the final hurdle, maggot..." She pondered, while raising what could possibly pass for an eyebrow. "But I have to say: you did a little better than I expected. Maybe you're not a totally lost cause after all. Just don't take your life for granted so much in the future, you belong to me, remember? Now, if we could only get you to remember a few basic facts about the Changeling dynasty so you can fool my poor naive children who've flocked to that traitor Thorax's banner, and learn how to forcibly exert love from the most basic of creatures so you don't have to keep eking out our meagre supplies, perhaps we can think about moving onto the next stage. Come now: intensive training for the rest of the day."

As I was dragged off by an unsympathetic Chrysalis, I had to ask myself: was all this worth it? Why didn't I just bash my brains out with a rock or purposefully starve myself, to save this decrepit body even more torture that surely lie ahead? Even if by some miracle I managed to pass all of Chrysalis's remaining tests, there's no way I'll be able to fool thousands upon thousands of reformed Changelings that I'm one of them. I was the wrong colour(s) for a start, and watching them on a TV screen was no substitute for living and breeding with the real things...

Breeding?! Oh no. Whatever put that disturbing thought in my brain?! I've suddenly got a thumping headache. Something tells me there's no paracetamol round here, either. Looks like its going to be another one of those days here in beautiful, bleak Equestria.

I'll try to send a postcard. No promises, though.

Author's Note:

I've come to the inescapable conclusion that I've been focusing too much on one of my stories in particular... so here, have a random update to another one I started a while back. You're welcome. :raritywink:

Let's see how well it does. If feedback is good, then... I guess I'll have to clear my busy schedule for even MORE writing sessions in the future. Great... :twistnerd:

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Comments ( 16 )

Acidic urine, you say? Must be Hate-piss.

An update,:yay:

More please.

If he is a hatchling, just wait until he pupates. That will certainly be something to add to his list of new experiences.

Tsundere is indeed strong with that one.

Nice chapter, can't wait for more. Especially for some Thorax dissecting, or at least bashing.


'they'll be a window' - there'll

'titching' - twitching

Well, it's great to see you back again with this story, and things in this weird story is taking an interesting turn so far. I hope you will get back to this story again soon.

Let's see how well it does. If feedback is good, then... I guess I'll have to clear my busy schedule for even MORE writing sessions in the future. Great... :twistnerd:

So if enough people say stuff like 'Great story/chapter! We need more!' you write more? :rainbowwild:

Joking aside, this is a neat story and I would like to see how things progress! :pinkiesmile:

I also sincerely hope others will read the 'Author's Note' too and comment on how it should continue. :twilightsheepish:

Hey pretty good chapter I hope to see more :)

I am finding this a pleasent read and this is actually the first time I have been following a story while it's in development and have hardly started... Feels weird.

Anyway great chapter hope to se more in the not too distant future.

And yes, I have been stuffing my face with the precious last few reserves of our love supply, but its not like there's anything else to eat in this desolate wasteland, right?

Does the fact you don't have anything to eat anymore things better or worse?

but I do believe Chrysalis is proving herself to be quite the 'tsundere'.

It seems that way. And I like it.

Or whatever controls death in this parallel universe I've been foisted into (are Applejack's parents really dead? Hmm...)

Interesting question.
Which will probably never be answered. In "The Perfect Pear" was the perfect opportunity, but they didn't So I suspect they never will.

But Chrysails should better be a bit nicer. I mean, he could always turn tail and hide among the ponies...
Or he could overthrow her later and become the new Overlord.

wished there was an update for this story

Soon, I promise. I'll work my way back to it eventually... :pinkiesmile:

Over one year latter.... Nothing.


3 years later and no new chapter for this story.

Oops. My problem has always been: Too many ideas, not enough time. And this story was one of the casualties of that. Though it would be nice to commit to just one story and see it through to the end, in reality I just don't have the time to commit to finishing everyone of my chapter fics, and that's not even counting all the one-shots I wanted to do. It hasn't been unknown for me to return to a story years later though, so don't give up all hope just yet. Thank you for bringing it my attention again, in any case... :unsuresweetie:

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