I Should've Stayed in Bed

by Withoutwords

The Circus is Now in Town

“I wasn't talking to myself,” Timothy said. “I was on my- oh.” Of course they didn't know what a phone was. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen much of anything in the way of modern technology; even Rarity's sewing machine was an old-fashioned one, operated by foot. Hoof. Whatever. “It's... um... a device. That lets me talk to the people I work with.”

Lyra squealed. It wasn't quite Rarity's squee, but it was definitely close.

“How does it work?” Rarity asked curiously, cocking her head to the side.

“Well, it's...” he knew every technical detail of cell phone mechanics and operation, but... “Magic?”

To his surprise – though really, he should have expected it – all three ponies nodded, swallowing that explanation whole.

“I expect Twilight'll wanna see it once you're settled, then,” Applejack said. “Speakin' of, we best get you to the farm so you can get to it.”

“Not yet!” Rarity protested, rearing up slightly and stamping both forehooves. “I've barely even begun- this outfit is only a rough draft, as it were!”

“Rarity, really- this outfit is fine,” Timothy protested, but Rarity ignored him, already trying to remove his new jacket, muttering about 'finishing touches' and 'barely suitable to wear'.

Applejack walked over, leaning casually against his leg. “Don't bother- that one can't be reasoned with. Shouldn't be, either- nobody knows fashion like Rarity.”

-|-

“GibbsGibbsGibbsGibbsGibbs!”

Abby had a way with words. Namely, a way of making several words sound like one incredibly long one. She was able to make an entire sentence into a word packed with information, sandwiched between one word and the next, and it took a certain familiarity to be able to decipher it into something coherent without taking a moment to work through it.

“Gibbs, I found McGee!” Abby exclaimed as she tromped her way into autopsy, showing protocol her usual blatant disregard in favor of jumping right on Gibbs, completely confident that he could take the extra weight. “Well, not found, exactly- more, contacted. I still don't know where he is, but he's alive and he says he's okay- that's at least something, right?”

“Are you sure someone didn't just make him-” was as far as Jimmy got before a withering look from Gibbs killed the rest of the thought. “I'm... going to go reorganize the storeroom.”

“Yes, Mister Palmer- do that,” Ducky said, peeling off his gloves. “Timothy is a resourceful boy- I'm certain he'll land on his feet. Abigail, dear, have you run those samples I sent up to you earlier?”

“Well...” Abby said, which was confession enough.

“Timothy wouldn't want you to shirk your duties, my dear,” Ducky admonished, smiling indulgently. “Go on- back to work.”

Abby nodded, climbing off Gibbs and giving Ducky a hug before shuffling her way out.

“Send me a copy of your report,” Gibbs said, pulling out his phone and moving to follow her. “I need to make a phone call.”

-|-

Rarity pronounced him fit to appear in public after fussing with his new clothes for a few minutes, and Timothy was finally allowed to leave the dress shop.

It became obvious immediately that his being here was not going to be a secret. There was a multicolored half circle of ponies in the street, all of them staring at him. Not, he couldn't help but notice, in fear. Their expressions – surprisingly easy to read – were curious, excited, anticipatory, even shy in some cases, but not scared. Not even particularly wary. Even as cute as they were, if a talking pony turned up in DC, it would probably incite a nationwide panic.

“Okay, okay- nobody crowd it!” a voice overhead ordered. Timothy looked up and discovered that unicorn wasn't the only pony variation here- the sky was full of adorable pegasi, in as many shades as the ponies on the ground. Some hovered, wings flapping lazily, while others perched on clouds, watching him.

The pegasus who'd spoken was pale blue in color, just slightly too bright to blend in with the sky. Her mane and tail, unlike every other one he'd seen so far, was more than one color: a bold six-banded rainbow, to be exact. She was very stunning, and very aware of her audience; she made a showy landing directly in front of him, flaring her wings and striking a pose.

“Hey, human,”she said. “The name's Rainbow Dash. Nice to meet ya.” She spent another second on the ground, then took to the air again, flying in lazy circles around him. “Rarity sure did a number on you, huh? Doesn't all that cloth get in the way? You look kinda big and clumsy to begin with- maybe you should strip.”

Timothy sighed. However long he was here, it was going to seem much longer.

-|-

Sweet Apple Acres was by far the largest apple farm Tim had ever seen. From the main gate to beyond the horizon, up and over hills, were thousands of trees. All lushly green, all sporting a heavy crop of ripening apples. His mind could barely comprehend how many trees must be down there, and how long it must take to harvest them all. It was just a little bit mindboggling.

The escort of curious ponies dwindled as they approached the main gate, until only Applejack, Rarity, Lyra, and Rainbow Dash were left to pass through it with him. That is, Applejack, Rarity, and Lyra passed through it- Rainbow Dash just flew right over.

There were two more ponies waiting by the small collection of buildings; one was large and bright red, wearing some sort of harness, and the other was an obviously elderly green one with her white mane pulled back in a matronly bun. Applejack introduced them as her brother Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith. Big Mac regarded him suspiciously, but Granny Smith just looked him up and down, turned with an audible creak, remarked that anything that big was probably hungry, and headed into what seemed to be the main house, leaving Applejack and Big Mac to show him to the barn.

The barn was large, a bit bigger than a one-story house. Outwardly, it was like every barn Timothy had ever seen. Inside was a different story, though.

There was no straw on the floor, for one. One wall was lined with neat bales of hay, but none littered the floor. The floor itself was polished wood instead of dirt. There were tools, but they were stored in one corner leaving most of the interior space completely open.

“No, Spike- that pile is for fleece blankets- quilts go over there!”

Against the far wall, underneath the hayloft, was the single most organized pile of blankets and pillows Timothy'd ever seen. Each stack was of a different type of blanket, further organized by pattern and then by color. The pillows were sorted by shape first, then color, then size. And in the middle of the... whatever you called the exact opposite of a mess... was a purple unicorn with a clipboard and quill.

“I do hope there's enough food,” the unicorn remarked, sighing and scribbling something on her clipboard. “Spike, is Pinkie Pie back with those cupcakes yet? We need to hurry- he could be here any minute!”

Applejack and Rarity exchanged knowing smiles, and Applejack trotted over, lifting a hoof and tapping the unicorn's shoulder. “Everything looks great, Twilight,” she said. “Don't it, Timothy?”

Twilight eeped, turning so fast she almost lost her balance. Applejack, without appearing to have to think, stepped in and steadied her.

“It looks very... organized,” Timothy said, smiling politely. “Hi. I'm Timothy McGee.”

“Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said. “Now that you're here, you can set everything up to your liking, and I-”

Rarity managed not to jump when Timothy's phone rang this time, but Twilight did a comical little dance of surprise and hid behind Applejack.

Timothy flipped the phone open and lifted it to his ear, but barely managed to open his mouth before the caller got the first word in.

“McGee, where the hell are you?” Gibbs demanded, sounding pissed.

“Hey, Boss,” Timothy said. “Like I told Abby, I really don't know where I a-”

“Find out,” Gibbs snapped.

“Boss, I- hey!”

The phone pulled itself free of his hand and floated through empty air to Twilight. Her eyes were wide and curious, and her horn glowed with the same violet haze that surrounded the phone. “What's this? Hey, it's making noise! How does it do that?” Timothy stepped over and made a grab for it, but she'd already moved it to her ear. “Ooh, it's a pony! Hello!”

Her expression froze for a moment, then her ears flopped down and her smile turned to a look of pure shock and horror. She sat abruptly and stared off into space, giving Timothy time to get his phone back. “Boss, what did you say to her?”

“Who was that, McGee?” Gibbs asked. Judging from his tone, he probably hadn't been all that nice.

“That was Twilight Sparkle,” Timothy said, closing his eyes and leaning against the barn wall. “And I think you broke her, boss.”

“Well ,she shouldn't've taken your damn phone. Who the hell is she?”

“One of the natives. They're harmless, boss, I promise. I'm in no danger.”

“Then get your ass back here- we have a case we're supposed to be working on instead of tracking down an AWOL agent who's decided to go fuck around with women named Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight Sparkle climbed back to all wobbly fours and started slowly for the door, head hanging. Timothy didn't normally second-guess or talk back to Gibbs, having a great deal of respect and admiration for his superior, but seeing Twilight that down was worse than a depressed Abby somehow, and even in his numbed state of mind it was more than he could bear.

“She's not a woman, Boss, she's a pony,” he said, with maybe a bit more heat than was wise. “A unicorn, to be exact, who just wanted to know what a cell phone was, and she didn't have anything to do with me winding up wherever I am, so you shouldn't yell at her. Sir.”

Gibbs didn't say anything for a long moment. The silence stretched second by second, and if not for the fact that Twilight was still in the barn and looking ready to cry, Timothy probably would have broken down and apologized. At long last, there was what sounded like a muffled curse on the other end of the line.

“I have a case I need to be working on,” Gibbs said. “If you get yourself killed, I'll shoot you myself. Got it?”

“Got it,” Timothy answered, sighing with relief as the call ended and the dial tone kicked in. He'd been half afraid Gibbs would somehow manage to shoot him through the phone. He slipped it back into his pocket and cleared his throat. “Um... Twilight?”

Twilight turned to look over her shoulder at him, wiping at her eyes with one foreleg. “Yes?”

“Sorry about that. My boss is a bit... scary. He's just worried about me.”

Twilight nodded, suddenly all smiles. “I understand. Princess Celestia sometimes gets abrupt when she's worried, too.” She shook herself and lifted her head. “And speaking of Princess Celestia... C'mon, Spike- we've got a letter to send!”

A tiny round purple and green dragon came trotting out from amid the blankets, hurrying to Twilight and climbing on her back before she cantered out of the barn.

“You get settled,” Applejack said to Timothy. “I gotta go bring the cows around to the south pasture for the night.”

“And I need to get back to my shop,” Rarity added. “Do come by tomorrow- I should have your new outfit done for you.” She and Applejack left together, holding a conversation in whispers that included a lot of giggling.

Timothy sighed, stretching, and shrugged out of his jacket, hanging it from a peg on the wall. He looked over his supplies for a minute, then hauled a bale of hay off the stack by the wall. With enough blankets, he could make a bed out of the hay.

“I'll get that,”

Timothy had honestly forgotten Lyra was still there, but he was grateful to have the heavy bale taken from his hands.

“Two across and three long should be big enough, right?” Lyra asked brightly. “Everypony in Ponyville chipped in a few blankets or pillows, so you should be comfy. I'll bring you breakfast from Sugar Cube Corner in the morning, if you want.”

“That would be nice,” Timothy said, helping Lyra set up the mattress and cover it with layers of blankets, then arrange some of the mountain of pillows. By the time they were done, it was just as good as his bed at home, if not better.

Lyra shifted from hoof to hoof, using telekinesis to fidget with the tie on her saddlebag. “Timothy?”

“Yeah?” he asked, sitting on the makeshift bed to test it.

“You're not mad at me, are you?” she asked quietly. “For bringing you here?”

Apparently, all ponies were blessed of the innate ability to be so unbelievably adorable that they could get away with murder.

“No, Lyra,” he said, reaching out and petting her mane. Hopefully that wouldn't offend her. “You just wanted to meet a human, right?” He smiled at her, glad to get an answering smile back. “If you want, you can spend the night here with me.”

Lyra's face lit up like the noonday sun, and she jumped up excitedly. “Yes! I'd love to! Let me go tell my roommate and grab some snacks, and I'll be right back!”

She was off like a shot before he could say another word. Timothy lied down and did his best to relax. It wasn't quite dark, but he had the feeling it might be a good idea to at least rest his eyes before Lyra got back, because she probably wouldn't be looking to get much sleep tonight.

-|-

The pacing on this chapter killed me. Several times. And I'm still not satisfied with it. Timothy's met some of the mane cast, made two unicorns smile, and told off his boss for being rude. And this is only his first day in Ponyville.

Comments

[Firefinder]

McGee is going to suffer a level one Gibbs glare when he gets back.

[Agrith]

Everything is happening how I would think it would happen, though Gibbs using fuck caught me a little off guard. I know they swear a little bit on the show and obviously can't use 'fuck' but still. I would consider changing it, but that's just me.

[Garino]

It would totally be in character for Gibbs to cross the threshold, without assistance, just to shoot McGee.

EDIT: Or give McGee a patented Gibbs slap.

[Withoutwords]

1032047
I understand your concern about that. I dithered for a while over it myself, but I ultimately decided to use it specifically because it's stronger than what Gibbs would normally say. He has an agent who vanished and is apparently perfectly safe somewhere with a strange woman who goes by the very New Age/hippie name of Twilight Sparkle. He's worried, he's pissed, and it was that word or an instance of physical violence that could be heard and clearly identified over the phone.

Again, I understand your concern and even share it to an extent, but I stand by my decision. Thank you very much for reading my story, and caring about it enough to offer that bit of critique, though. Please don't ever hesitate to point out things like that to me.

[The Libertarian Brony]

I'm still waiting for somepony to get Gibbs slapped!
*turns and slaps random dude across back of head* GIBBS SLAPPED! YEAH!

[theRedBrony]

Ya took a while writing this one. I liked this chapter.

Funny, I'm not even a fan of NCIS.

Go write some more. *cracks whip*

[Mistyfur]

Hehehe...... McGee is so going to suffer a Gibbs glare level 100. I wonder what would happen is Fluttershy's stare went against the Gibbs stare? I love NCIS! Oh man! DiNozzo is going to taunt McGee so much!

[TTV_KingPhoenixEmbers]

Oh, Timothy, you silly man.

[Paddle Steamer]

1190393 Gibbs' stare would win, his "gut" would also out-class Pinkie Sense.

Anyway, this was great, please tell me it's not dead, if it is a small part of me shall die on the inside...for like a week then I'd completely forget about it.

Also McGee saying the phone is magic....tsk tsk tsk, I wanted to see their reactions to it not being magic.

[Charlie_K]

And when does McGee's SIG-Sauer get introduced? And Why doesn't McGee take some cellphone pictures and email them to the rest of the team?

[Sarah-tang]

Finish This

[Withoutwords]

3866801 Not dead, just battling a foul villain that goes by the name of Real Life. I haven't been able to work much on my stories because reasons, but I will return to them eventually, I swear.

[Sunny Smile]

Um if you could, I'd love if you wrote more.

[Withoutwords]

5663330 Whose calculations? Where are they? What are they based on? Has there been any official word from anyone connected with canon on whether or not they're accurate? Because unless there's Word of God stating how big ponies actually are, I'm not forgetting anything. Fanon is not canon.

Sorry if that sounds snippy- it's not meant to be. But I checked around when I started writing this story, and couldn't find any official source on how big ponies are in comparison to humans, so it's not like I just said screw it and didn't even bother or something. It's also been three years since then, so anything more recent than that isn't exactly something I 'forgot'. ^^;

[Golden-Buddle]

5720275 Are ypu going to continue this story? its really cool.

[Withoutwords]

6732673 I hope to someday, but probably not anytime soon, because Real Life and lack of access to NCIS. Hopefully I'll be able to come back to my MLP fic sometime next year.

[Schroedingers_Katze]

This is an entertaining read (mainly cause I got into NCIS latley^^) and I sure hope there will be more somewhere in the future.^^

[Helljumper206]

Gibbs cussing out Twilight for taking McQee's phone fantastic

[Iwishmlpwasreal]

I would like to see another chapters like to 20 even 17-18 chapters I like the story but I would of liked is like ziva Tony and Leroy Jethro Gibbs see McGee get pulled into a portal by Lyra so it makes it so it would be more beliveable to Gibbs

[shadowshooter45]

7539040
and the best part? I could see it happening

[Bronze Inkwell]

Really hope this story ain't dead. This is a fantastic story so far. Then again, it's been several years. It might be safe to say it is.

[Okie Brony]

I'd give anything to see this story continued. However, the author hasn't been online in almost half a decade, so I think it's safe to say "Tis a dead one, sire."