• Member Since 16th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

DarkSpider


I'm just a random guy who wants to read good fanfics. If you want to know anything about me, (I doubt any of you do, but you never know) just ask me

Comments ( 129 )

Hm... Its not bad. They aren't overpowered and luckily they've not really changed much or break reality. I'll keep watch of this for now. Strange that Epsilon is taking after his post Caboose days. Not bad just strange.

8060139 What do you mean about that last part?

8060265 Remember how Washington was treated by Epsilon before the end of Revelation. When he was in his monitor body he got so pissed off and shot a laser at his direction that would have killed him. Along with the whole killing itself in his head. Like I said it's strange but not bad. That would have created so many problems.

8060404 Oh, so you're surprised Epsilon is actually nice to Trent?
-Dark

8060862 Yeah. Until the Chorus Trilogy you could feel the hate for Washington who is now Trent.

8061777 Well this Epsilon actually remembers things from RvB and actually respects Wash

8061789 Ok then. He better be snarky as hell though. I want him to call bullsh*t on every single pony whenever they do something crazy. Especially since Pinkie Pie will probably drive him as insane as Caboose did.

8061801 Noted. And I'll try with the snarky part. Any advice?
-Dark

8061804 That's really hard to figure out. See Epsilon Church was kind of whipped. When he was on Chorus he was very smart and working in tandem with all his other memories. I guess the best would be stuff like the first time Pinkie tries to throw a party for a villain then talking about just handing over the elements of harmony to them because that would obviously make them friendly. Then she says really and Epsilon just goes on a tirade for why that is the worse possible idea ever then Trent subconsciously says of all time. Just to complete the trifecta.

I'm really enjoying this so far. The weird pinkie clone that appeared out of nowhere behind them makes sense

I really enjoy this story, your doing a great job. I didn't notice any grammar errors. Church was well written, and he is hard character to write for. Good job.

8063521 Thanks. Glad to know my editing is good. Also, you think I did good with Church?
-Dark

8059943 :rainbowlaugh:

Now I have that stuck in my head!

8063461 Indeed.:ajsmug::raritywink::scootangel::twilightsmile:
To go off on a limb, I'm going to say that you like Wash and RWBY OC is yours form another story or something?

And trying to figure things out with Brony.

Don't forget you have me as a prereader and advisor

8066568 I was explaining why the chapter(s) may be less than adequate.

Laughing through the entire chapter.:rainbowlaugh:
Nicely done.

8066732
It's a compliment, I meant no offense.

8068206 No, I'm just surprised when people actually like my work

8068319 For now. But I doubt you'll still think that in the future

8068336
:twilightangry2: OI!
That be a self set prophecy that be.
Don't le a few things in life get you down.
This story is good yes and it will remain like that ONLY if you want it to be.
So write as you see fit for the story and do not be afraid to ask for help when stuck.
Got It:flutterrage:

Dude, stop self doubting this story is good.

8067616
"And Nixon coming, We're finally on our own. This summer i hear the drumming, four dead in Ohio."
this just popped into my head when i saw Nix.

I can see church and Nixi getting along just fine.

8082397 because there both fragments of a whole being. They have there own procnaitly but they're still just a piece of someone else. Something they both have income.

And cue epic ending credits! :trollestia:

Just, kidding, awesome work as always!

Hahaha:rainbowlaugh: I was laughing at the Mulan reference.

This story has a nice play on the tropes concerning their meeting with the displacing salesman.

There is also the nice introduction to our main characters and their quirks, which most writers bypass entirely.

Overall, this is a solid first chapter, and left me willing to read more.

The chapter is good, even if it could benefit with a little more polish by your editor.

There are some sentences that would benefit from the pacing of the action, rather than saying it all in one sentence.

Other than that, it is a good chapter.

8344114
We don't have an editor. I do all the editing

The chapter is solid, and enjoyable in the banter between the main characters.

It could benefit from specifying who is talking in certain dialogue lines, but it is a minor flaw.

I'll keep on reading.

This chapter shows great potential, as a window for the future of our three main characters.

The handling of the job part, the crisis looming over the ponies, the enemies appearing.

It all leads to the beginning of a great story.

I hope to read more of this storyline.

The characterization is great, as well as their banter with each other.

Still could benefit from more detail when two or more characters are talking to each other.

Hope you release more in the future.

8344145
Hmm.

Let me know if you want me to help in editing from the initial chapters.

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