Two friends, named Steven and Trent, end up in Equestria as a RWBY OC and Agent Washington from Red vs Blue. Now they're getting used to their new lives and dealing with monsters.
Hm... Its not bad. They aren't overpowered and luckily they've not really changed much or break reality. I'll keep watch of this for now. Strange that Epsilon is taking after his post Caboose days. Not bad just strange.
8060265 Remember how Washington was treated by Epsilon before the end of Revelation. When he was in his monitor body he got so pissed off and shot a laser at his direction that would have killed him. Along with the whole killing itself in his head. Like I said it's strange but not bad. That would have created so many problems.
8061789 Ok then. He better be snarky as hell though. I want him to call bullsh*t on every single pony whenever they do something crazy. Especially since Pinkie Pie will probably drive him as insane as Caboose did.
8061804 That's really hard to figure out. See Epsilon Church was kind of whipped. When he was on Chorus he was very smart and working in tandem with all his other memories. I guess the best would be stuff like the first time Pinkie tries to throw a party for a villain then talking about just handing over the elements of harmony to them because that would obviously make them friendly. Then she says really and Epsilon just goes on a tirade for why that is the worse possible idea ever then Trent subconsciously says of all time. Just to complete the trifecta.
I really enjoy this story, your doing a great job. I didn't notice any grammar errors. Church was well written, and he is hard character to write for. Good job.
Nightmare can control Grimm...makes me wonder if the nightmare is part of it or salem(or whoever is her counterpart) has a large manipulation in this. Oh Celly is useful. Yay! Grammar is decent and enjoy reading the chapter.
Time to engage the tracking beacon!
Hm... Its not bad. They aren't overpowered and luckily they've not really changed much or break reality. I'll keep watch of this for now. Strange that Epsilon is taking after his post Caboose days. Not bad just strange.
8060139 What do you mean about that last part?
8060265 Remember how Washington was treated by Epsilon before the end of Revelation. When he was in his monitor body he got so pissed off and shot a laser at his direction that would have killed him. Along with the whole killing itself in his head. Like I said it's strange but not bad. That would have created so many problems.
8060404 Oh, so you're surprised Epsilon is actually nice to Trent?
-Dark
8060862 Yeah. Until the Chorus Trilogy you could feel the hate for Washington who is now Trent.
8061777 Well this Epsilon actually remembers things from RvB and actually respects Wash
8061789 Ok then. He better be snarky as hell though. I want him to call bullsh*t on every single pony whenever they do something crazy. Especially since Pinkie Pie will probably drive him as insane as Caboose did.
8061801 Noted. And I'll try with the snarky part. Any advice?
-Dark
8061804 That's really hard to figure out. See Epsilon Church was kind of whipped. When he was on Chorus he was very smart and working in tandem with all his other memories. I guess the best would be stuff like the first time Pinkie tries to throw a party for a villain then talking about just handing over the elements of harmony to them because that would obviously make them friendly. Then she says really and Epsilon just goes on a tirade for why that is the worse possible idea ever then Trent subconsciously says of all time. Just to complete the trifecta.
I'm really enjoying this so far. The weird pinkie clone that appeared out of nowhere behind them makes sense
8062028 Indeed
Keep up the good work.
8063342
8062028 You seriously like it?
I really enjoy this story, your doing a great job. I didn't notice any grammar errors. Church was well written, and he is hard character to write for. Good job.
8063521 Thanks. Glad to know my editing is good. Also, you think I did good with Church?
-Dark
8063461 Indeed.
To go off on a limb, I'm going to say that you like Wash and RWBY OC is yours form another story or something?
8065999 Wha?
8065999 He may like Wash but the OC belongs to me
The chapter is good, even if it could benefit with a little more polish by your editor.
There are some sentences that would benefit from the pacing of the action, rather than saying it all in one sentence.
Other than that, it is a good chapter.
8344114
We don't have an editor. I do all the editing
8344145
Wasn't he going to keep what he is secret so no-one is tempted to study him?
8462196
I guess it slipped both his and my mind
-Dark
Nightmare can control Grimm...makes me wonder if the nightmare is part of it or salem(or whoever is her counterpart) has a large manipulation in this.
Oh Celly is useful. Yay!
Grammar is decent and enjoy reading the chapter.