Chapter 16
HIPPOPHOBIA - CHAPTER 16
Time Turner galloped through the streets at top speed, accidentally splashing several fillies as he ran through a puddle. He was in high spirits today, for today he had good news for his human friend.
"I'm sorry, where were we?" Turner said as he rejoined his human companion.
Conrad looked back at him. "Uh, we were talking about magic and meeting other ponies?" He blinked in realization. "OK, where and when did you just go?"
"A few hours ago," Turner said, "I went to go see Twilight and try to turn things around with her. Try and get her to help us, you know?"
"And?" Conrad asked.
"Twilight Sparkle has agreed to help us make a spell to stop Lyra and Mac from chasing you. All she's asking in return is a chance to interview you." He saw Conrad's worried expression and put a hoof on him to reassure him. "It's alright. She promised to do it calmly. If you feel uncomfortable at all, she said she'll back down." He shot Conrad a grin. "And if you're really uncomfortable, I can always time blink you out of there."
Conrad paused and then sighed. "Alright. So how do we get this spell done?"
"You're not gonna like it," Turner explained, "You'll have to use yourself as bait for Mac and Lyra."
Conrad facepalmed. "I knew there'd be a catch. I just knew it."
"It's alright," Turner said, "I'll be standing by to get you out. Once you're out of the way, Twilight will cast the spell, and we'll be in the clear. Then all we have to do is wait for Celestia to finish the interdimensional portal spell to send you home."
"And you're sure this will work?" Conrad gave Turner a sideways glance.
Turner nodded affirmatively. "Absolutely."
Conrad stared off into space for a moment, then sighed again. "Alright, I'll do it."
"Good." Turner smiled. "Now the only major issue is convincing Pinkie Pie to delay your welcome party. If I can do that, we should have little trouble. I would say 'no trouble,' but I've learned not to tempt fate."
Conrad chuckled. "Boy, don't I know it."
Turner laughed with him. "Well, I'll be back in a little bit."
"Alright, see ya in a bit." Conrad waved as he watched his friend disappear into time, then sighed and sat down on the porch of the cabin. At long last, things were falling into place. Once he survived the next encounter with Lyra and Big Mac, the proverbial final boss level, all that stood between him and home were a party and time.
Conrad stood tensly at the treeline, breathing slowly as he tried to relax himself. Any moment now, he'd be given the signal to step out and reveal himself before the two ponies he feared might give him the King Solomon treatment if they had their way.
Time Turner stood at the opposite side of the street, keeping himself concealed as he watched for their targets. Twilight Sparkle stood a ways down the road, also keeping her eyes peeled, but occasionally shooting suspicious glances at Turner. She wanted to reveal him, but now was not the time. Right now, she had to finish cleaning up her mess, and then she needed backup.
Frantic hoofbeats nearby alerted the brown stallion. He gave the signal, and Conrad stepped out from his hiding place and started walking down the street towards Twilight.
"Good," Turner said to himself, "Now get their attention. Say something like--"
"COME TO PAPA, YOU POSSESSED FURRY BASTARDS!" Conrad shouted, holding his arms up to emphasize his announcement.
Turner facehoofed and muttered, "I was going to say, 'come and get me, Lyra,' but that works, too."
Both sets of hooves stopped for a second before charging at top speed towards the sound of their beloved Concon. The human braced himself, ready for Turner to blink him out at the last instant.
Up above the world so high, a cyan pegasus in the sky heard Conrad's challenge as well, and looked down to see him with Twilight hiding nearby. "Oh, no you don't, Twi." She zoomed down and swooped in, wrapping her forelegs around Conrad's middle before bolting off into the sky with the screaming human.
"Rainbow! No!" Twilight shouted.
Turner smacked himself in the face. "Oh, bollocks!"
Down below, Lyra Heartstrings and Big Macintosh saw Rainbow Dash taking off with their prize. Their eyes both turned blood red as the object of their inchanted desire was carried off. They began charging away from Twilight and Turner, causing them to give chase as well.
Rainbow struggled to keep herself aloft while carrying Conrad. "Will you settle down?! I'm trying to save you from Twilight!" She covered his mouth with a hoof to stop his screaming, which he tried and failed to wrench off with his hands.
Down below, Twilight teleported in front of Lyra and tried to stop her with a forcefield, only to be countered by a swift telekinetic jab to the horn, cancelling her spell before it could be cast. Lyra was focused on getting 'her' human back, and would tolerate no resistance.
Turner was having a similar problem, blinking objects in front of Big Macintosh, which the latter simply barreled through. He tried freezing time and steering Big Mac in the opposite direction, but the farm pony was too stubborn to be swayed with such a cheap tactic.
Wrestling through the air, Conrad managed to pry Rainbow's hoof off of his mouth. This returned his ability to voice his protest, but at the cost of slipping from her grasp and plummeting down towards the earth below. As he fell, he did not scream; he merely thought to himself.
This is it. Finally done in, and not by a pony, or a timberwolf, but by my own hand. In hindsight, I probably should have let her carry me off. We would have landed, I'd explain things to her, we'd try again... but no. I screwed it up. And--shouldn't I be dead by now?
The human opened his eyes to find his body wrapped in a minty aura holding him just over Lyra's head.
"I got you, Connie!" Lyra squealed, bringing him down gently as Big Mac strode up next to her, "Don't you worry, sweetie poo. Big Mac and I will take extra good care of you now."
"Wait, you two are in this together now?" Conrad asked with incredulity and a whole new brand of fear.
"Eeyup," the red stallion said with a nod.
"Oh, dear God," Conrad whimpered.
Lyra pulled him in for a cheek nuzzle, which Big Mac joined in on. "We'll take you somewhere where nopony can steal you from us ever again. We'll be your new mommy and daddy forever and never let anything bad happen, right, Daddy?"
"Eeeeyup!"
The mare looked at Conrad with a warm smile. "What do you think of that, Conrad dearest?"
Conrad looked between the two of them, and sighed. "Alright. You guys win. I'll be your baby. Just, don't..." he gave them a sly grin, "...don't blink."
"Huh?" said the mare and stallion together.
With a soft pop, Conrad vanished the way one would when you pause a recording, then resume after they've moved. Big Mac and Lyra looked around in confusion before a beam of violet light blasted the two of them. The light intensified as they rose off the ground, swirling around them and soon obfuscating them in a bubble of blinding magic. As suddenly as it started, the bright sphere went away, leaving the two ponies floating with glowing eyes as they slowly set down. When the magic died down, their eyes were devoid of any sign of the want-it-need-it spell.
The two ponies looked around in mild confusion as Conrad, Turner, and Twilight walked up to them.
Lyra locked eyes with the human, and her pupils shrank to pin pricks. "C-C-Conrad?"
"Lyra..." Conrad began, but trailed off, not sure what to say.
"I... I'm so sorry!" the mare said, beginning to cry, "Please, please don't hate me!" Before anyone could reply, Lyra turned and ran away sobbing.
Conrad reached out to stop her, but he was too late.
Big Macintosh looked down solemnly. "Ah s'pose Ah owe ya an apology, too."
"No, you don't," Twilight interjected, "It was my spell that made you act this way. On top of my own behavior, if anypony owes Conrad an apology, it's me." She looked back at the aforementioned human.
Conrad sighed. "It was an accident. In fact, if I had known you better, I probably wouldn't have tried to jump between you and those foals. I thought you were trying to do something to them." He grimaced. "If I wasn't so scared of ponies, none of this would have happened."
"You're not still scared of us, though, are you?" Twilight asked hopefully.
Conrad shook his head. "Not like I used to be, no. I think I could stand meeting a few more sometime."
"Yeah, about that," Rainbow lighted down between them, "Sorry about snatch'n ya earlier, big guy. Twilight's been..." she looked at her unicorn friend, "...having one of her times lately."
Twilight blushed. "It happens."
Rainbow Dash grinned. "Yeah, anyway, don't think you and I have met properly. I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria." She held out her hoof, which Conrad took.
"Most exposive, too, judgig by what I saw with that barn," he said with a chuckle.
"Saw that, didja?" Rainbow chuckled back, "Yeah, that was nothin'. Hey, Pinkie's got that party for you coming up. Maybe you can check out some of my tricks then, huh?"
"Sounds like fun," Conrad said back.
"Awesome," said Rainbow, "I gotta head back and turn in my weather reports. See you guys later." She took off, leaving a colorful streak behind her as she disappeared into the sky.
Conrad looked at Twilight and smiled. "I guess I owe you that interview, anyway. When do you wanna have it?"
"Oh, that?" Twilight said, "Well, um, actually, something important came up. I have to talk to my mentor, Celestia, about a few things. Affairs of state, you could say." Her eyes briefly rested on Turner. "We can do that some other time."
"Oh," Conrad said, deflating a bit while also feeling somewhat relieved, "Well, I suppose I could try to squeeze it in before I leave, assuming she'll find me a way home soon. If not..." He looked down solemnly. "...I suppose I'll have all the time in the world for that."
Twilight stepped forward. "Don't lose hope. Princess Celestia is the oldest and wisest pony around, and I'll gladly help, too."
"Thank you, Twilight," Turner said, "That means a lot to us."
"My pleasure," the unicorn replied, hiding the edge in her voice, "Well, I'd better get going. I'll see you guys at the party." She turned and ignited her horn, then teleported away.
"So, what's the plan now?" Big Mac asked.
"I think our friend here could use a break after all this excitement," Turner replied, "Perhaps a calm walk home will help clear your head, hm?"
The human nodded. "That sounds good. Though, I hope Lyra shows up at the party. Be nice to let er know I'm not mad."
"Yer not afraid ah her?" Big Mac asked.
"No," Conrad said, shaking his head, "I don't think she meant any harm. She seemed sincere when she ran off. I don't think I'd mind giving her another chance."
Turner smiled. "It's nice to see you're getting over your fears. Despite how harrowing this experience has been, I think it's all been for the better."
Conrad nodded. "Yeah. Well, let's get going, you guys."
The three friends turned and headed back towards Turner's cabin, feeling confident that they could tackle any challenge fate still had to throw their way.
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Welcome back from the dead, buddy boy.
At least he is getting better
6046274
Of all the stories I've written, both pony and non, this one's probably the one I care about the least. I honestly don't know why people love it so much, but it's what people want, so... whatever. I don't care about plotholes or OOC moments or things like that. It's just a bad joke that's been going too far, and now people don't stop pestering me about it.
Geez, this is one I legitimately forgot even existed.
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6903010
Hippo is Greek for horse. Hippopotamus is two Greek words mixed together Translating as River Horse.
It's been attacked by Typos! They're everywhere!
Wow. This actually updated. Cool
6902645 Were I to say it, it's because you launched a core concept so novel and unexplored even as of today. Seriously, there's only one other story where the human has a phobia of equines, and it's been completed since quite some time.
6903010 You realize I said that over 3 years ago, right?
5407961
What is a drokk? And you realize I don't even like this story, right? I'm only keeping it on life support because it's in demand. Basically, I feel like one of those AAA developers who's lost interest in a series that people keep clamoring for, and being on this side of it, it's making me really empathize with those developers. I don't care for flaws in this story because I don't even like it. It was never meant to last this long. I had planned to end it a while back, but I couldn't think of how to do so, so it's still around. I'm having to force myself to write more of it, and a forced writer doesn't do well. I tried just letting it die, but then I get constant PMs asking if I'm ever going to bring it back, even after having said I hate this story, I'm still getting messages about it.
6903660
Just chuck a cancelled label on it and don't touch it anymore.
If you aren't enjoying writing it anymore then stop doing it. It's not like you are being paid for this.
6903660
If you don't like writing this story.... then don't. Slap a cancelled on it.
If you are feeling nice, ask to see if someone wants to continue it and if so, update the description to point to the continutation.
6902645 Just take a step back and examine how people today like silly things, even if the creator no longer likes making said silly things.
I can relate, my friend.
Write what you want, not what they want. Then compromise and do something a little in between. I think it's good you keep this story up. You might get that urge to write something silly and inane that would fit perfectly here.
I do that with some of my stories, too. Keep them open for that moment of inspiration that needs just the story you're in need of!
I enjoyed the chapter, thanks for the update!
It's alive! Seriously, it's good to see you back and writing. Nice chapter.
Glad to see this isn't dead, but I can sympathize with the author's position.
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Fluttershy's is like that the first time because that's what she did in Lesson Zero, although Twilight found out moments later that she was actually giving Harry a massage. And she acts like that the second time because it is then concurrent with the Iron Will episode.
A thought: You don't like this story, but thankfully it also appears to be near finished. I think this could be finished as soon as next chapter, depending on how events unfold. I see two remaining important events, and one that you only need to include if you feel like it.
Event 1 - Pinkie's party: Conrad proves to himself that he is (mostly) over his fear of horses, and he meets Fluttershy's when she isn't crazy.
Event 2 - Homecoming: Celestia figures out a way to send Conrad home, and Twilight confronts Celestia about her suspicions of Turner being a changeling (but does so in the presence of Cadance (Chryssy), and the queen thinks she's been outed)
Optional event - epilogue of Conrad at home, while the bullies make fools of themselves trying to scare a guy who is not scared anymore. Either that, or Conrad's old fear is vindicated by a random horse neutering him with a hoof (must be as random as possible).
I was really enjoying this fic, but this is where I bow out. I as enjoying the realistic portrayal of phobias but seeing his phobia suddenly clear up so fast after being exposed to so many traumatic incidents has really thrown me out.
I wish you luck in future events.
As a small aside, I'd recommend running the chapters through a basic spell checker as there were several spelling errors throughout.
6932714 I chalk it up to phobic burnout. You spend enough time being scared of something that eventually you just give in and let it happen. In fact, with the exception of anger, which is actually coming later, I did make him go through all the stages of grief with his phobia. In the end, he just accepted his fate to be around ponies, even if they are crazy.
6952002 over 3 years ago, man. lol.
7046467 A warrior's drink!
I've completely forgotten this story, I need to re-read it at some point...