Chapter 13
Chapter 13
"This is your fall back spot?"
"You have something against my fall back spot?"
"No, no. I like it. It just looks like it hasn't been used in... years."
Conrad and Time Turner were standing in the woods in front of a secluded log cabin that was coated rafter to floor in dust that had gathered over time. Conrad wiped a streak of dust off the window sill with his finger and blew it away.
"Derpy and I used to come here when our grand father was alive," Turner explained, "After he passed away, nopony ever came here, except to make sure it didn't cave in." He pushed the door open and stepped inside.
Conrad followed and immediately had a short sneezing fit. "Ugh, I'm gonna have to clean it up in here." He rubbed his nose on his arm. "You sure nopony will come here?"
"Absolutely," said Turner, "The others don't even know this place exists. Once the heat goes down, you can go back to the farm, unless you want to stay here."
"Well, either way, I'm troubling you guys," the human sighed, "At least if I stay here, the mares will be too busy looking for me to bother you, once they realize I'm not at your house."
Turner laughed. "You're not troubling me at all, Conrad. This is the most fun I've had in some good time." He turned to leave. "I'll go back into town and get some supplies for you to stay here. Anything in particular you want?"
"Uh, I doubt you ponies have a human clothing store." He looked around. "Got a washing machine in here so I can wash what I'm wearing?"
"This is an old cabin. You'll have to use the wash bucket in the back." The former pegasus looked at his friend and tilted his head curiously. "I've been meaning to ask, why do you always wear clothes? Ponies don't wear them except for special occasions, or for fashion."
"Well, it's indecent for humans to be naked in public." Conrad blushed a bit. "You see, um, humans don't have fur, or... or a, um..."
Turner's ears perked up. "You don't have a sheath?"
Conrad bit his lip and nodded.
Turner's eye twitched. "That sounds..." He turned his head away awkwardly. "Well, I can see why you need the clothes. I know somepony who could make them, if I get her to swear to secrecy. Although, if she comes here, she will probably need you unclothed to take measurements."
Conrad groaned outwardly. "I dunno if I'm ready to meet any new ponies."
Turner nodded. "Alright then. I'll just get some food, then. Should be back in about an hour."
"Alright."
Turner shut the door behind him, and galloped back down the road. Conrad found a small, wooden radio and turned it on, only to get static. After fidgeting with the knobs, he found a station broadcasting classical music, and left it there to help calm his nerves.
A thought crossed his mind, how did ponies wire a device like this? "Unicorns," he answered himself. He walked into the back room and found the bucket he was meant to wash his dirt-ridden clothes in.
As he made his way around the house, a certain pink mare watched from the other side of a mirror, and grinned to herself before vanishing.
Twilight Sparkle teleported herself, Lyra Heartstrings and Rainbow Dash away after Pinkie Pie suddenly gave up the chase and left for other reasons unknown. She addressed the two mares before her.
"Alright, clearly Time Turner and the Apples are conspiring against us. And I've heard no word back from Princess Celestia about the human, so it looks like we're on our own."
"Wait, back up, Twi," said Rainbow Dash, "So the human can ride ponies. So can Spike. What's so dangerous about that guy, anyway? Every time I see him, he spends his time running away from everypony."
"That's because he's frightened," Lyra whined, "Everypony's been so rough with him since he got here. I tried to protect him, but he was even afraid of me! He didn't realize I love him..." The sea foam mare pouted melodramatically, pulling off a perfect sexy cry.
Dash raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah, like I was saying, why are you two so hung up on this?"
"Because, he's an alien!" Twilight exclaimed, "Even if he means us no harm, he could still be a danger. He needs to be kept in check, not to mention studied. Science demands we find out everything we can about him!"
Lyra's eyes shot open. "You're... not going to hurt my precious Concon, are you?"
"Concon?" Rainbow was thoroughly confused.
Lyra sniffled and nodded. "My little Conney Wonney. All alone, lost in Equestria. He needs me!" The unicorn grabbed the rainbow pegasus and put her face against the other. "Don't you understand?! He won't survive unless I take care of him! He needs my love! And I need his!"
Dash rolled her eyes and shoved Lyra off her. "Ugh, gimme a break, you two. You're getting all worked up over nothing."
Both unicorns gasped.
"Science is not nothing!"
"And love is what matters most!"
Rainbow deadpanned. "You're crazy, and you're an egghead." She hovered above them as she prepared to leave. "I'm not gonna help either of you until you give me a better reason than science and love. You both had me thinking he was a real threat, and he's not! Honestly, have you even seen that guy? He looks like the kind of thing Fluttershy keeps as a pet! So until you girls are back on your rockers, count me out!" With that, the pegasus shot into the sky, leaving a polychromatic contrail behind her.
Twilight glared at the shrinking image of her friend. "So much for element of loyalty." She sighed and turned around, catching sight of Turner. "Come on, Lyra."
The other unicorn was staring dead ahead, like her entire world had been shattered. "Concon? Where's my Concon?"
"We're going to get Concon back." Twilight teleported up to the brown stallion and grabbed him in her aura. "Alright, Time Turner! We know you took Conrad, and you're gonna give him back, pronto!"
"I-I dunno what you're talking about!" the brown pegasus cried, lacking his Trottingham accent, "Please let me go!"
"Aha!" Twilight pointed her hoof triumphantly. "You think you can fool me by changing your accent and putting on wings? I happen to know there's a spell you can use to give yourself wings. Honestly, did you think such a silly disguise would fool me?"
"Lady, you're crazy!" the stallion yelled, "My name is not Time Turner, it's Doctor Hooves!"
Lyra pounced the Doctor, holding him now in her own magic. "Liar! You took my human from me! Where is he? I WANT HIM BACK!"
Doctor Hooves started to panic. "Please, I'm just here visiting my sister, Derpy. I don't even know what a human is! Honest!"
"Hold him steady," said Twilight, charging her horn and touching it to the Doctor's head, "I'll get the truth out of him with a lie detector spell."
As her horn made contact, Doctor's eyes widened and stared straight ahead in trance.
"Now tell me," said Twilight, "Who are you, who gave you wings, and what are you doing?"
"My name is Doctor Hooves. I was born with wings. I am visiting my sister, Derpy Hooves." The pegasus spoke in monotone under Twilight's control.
The confused unicorns let him up and broke the spell.
"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!" Twilight begged, "It's just, you look exactly like Time Turner! You even have the same voice, just with a different accent."
Doctor harrumphed and trotted away with his muzzle up. "Maybe next time you'll have the common sense to ask before assaulting somepony. You're lucky I don't press charges!"
As they watched the irked stallion fly away, Lyra's eye twitched. "Two Time Turners? Not... possible..."
Twilight turned to leave when she saw Spike and Bonbon rushing up to meet them. "Spike, what is it?"
The out of breath dragon grasped his knees and gasped for air, holding up a scroll from the princess.
My dearest, most faithful student Twilight Sparkle,
Leave Conrad alone.
Yours truly, Princess Celestia of Equestria
The baffled purple unicorn looked at both sides of the scroll, expecting more from the letter. "That's all she had to say? 'Leave Conrad alone?' But why?"
"I don't know," replied Spike, catching his breath, "Want me to send a reply?"
Twilight reread the letter and sighed in defeat. "No, I'm sure the princess has her reasons. Let's just leave him alone for now."
As they left, Bonbon tried to console Lyra and took her back home. Nopony noticed Pinkie Pie was back at Sugarcube Corner, whipping up batches of pastries.
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first!
awesome chapter
"Leave Conrad alone"
Right after Doctor Hooves.
1128782 they call him the oncoming storm and that the laws of time are his and they will obey him sir
This is a HiE fanfic. It's not a MLD story. And I like it. Strange.
Hm... Not bad. You made me chuckle once or twice... But the story is winding down and the joke is getting old. It time to start... The Plot!
I love it how rather than Twilight being sensible and Rainbow Dash being hostile it's the other way around
Celestia to the rescue!
Good work Rainbow! Don't join the dark side of the horse!
Glad this got featured so I could find it, because it is hilarious.
1128934
I agree. Rainbow Dash being the one with a level head for once is nice.
hahaha! this story is hilarious!
I love this Lyra.
The universe for some reason really hates this guy.
1129293 *whirrwhirrwhirr*
time to add this to my watch list:)
Crazy, crazy Lyra. 27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz33xkHmz71r40km4o1_500.jpg
Pinkie knows, she always knows.
1128906
This.
I like Conrad making an argument to make human customs seem sane to a pony. That was nice.
If Pinkie tried to feed me a bunch of pastries... I WOULD TELL HER TO piss off fatty.
My reaction to finding this story! (SO AWESOME!
)
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luvcuyNedI1qcswgoo1_400.gif
I like this story Please make more
Don't worry your party will be very big.
Pinkie what the heck?
Oh hey! iv'e met you before! you were watching me on that black box thing!
I.....um.....how?
hehehehe
*The Princess grinned as she sent the letter to Twilight, knowing her 'faithful student' would never dream of disobeying a direct order* Now Concon will be all mine! *MOLESTIA!!!*
Well, of all the people to know where he is, at least Pinkie seems the most harmless. Even if she can go overboard, at least she means well. Lyra, on the other hand.... *shudder*
Heck, if not for Conrad's irrational fear, formally introducing him to everyone would probably be the best way to keep him safe from Lyra.
On that note, he seems to be getting along a bit better...
1128885
MLD?
1132191 My Little Dashie. Not the original, exactly, but rather its two sequels. They're the only HiE fics I've ever read and liked, until I found this, of course.
1129967
Run. RUN!
1132286
I'm running i'm runningAAAAAAAAAAH
Silly we need you to get ready for the party! hehehehe
Help......me
Where we are no pony can hear you
1132334 Um, uh, Hey look! A random background pony who's never had a party! Looks really really sad too!
1132375
OOOOOOOOOOO WHERE!
Thankyou......
I'M BACK NOW FOR THAT PARTY!
Buck me...
1132392 Oh for the love of... Hey look it's a, uh, the Cakes! Yeah! they um, need you to watch over the twins!!
...Ok she's gone. Hide. I'll cover for you.
1132396
Sorry my brain temporarily took leave of my senses and I forgot in lesson zero spike's the one who messages the princess. Either way I feel like she ought to have been able to expect the results if not also the time limit of her own spell.
either way enjoying the story and looking forward to more.
1132469
*Hides in a barrel.*
Hey Clemerl! have you seen my new friend!!! Iv'e been looking every where!
don't move at all....
TELL ME NOW
I'm scared......
Let's see here...
Pinkie stalking through mirrors, Celestia having lay off Twilight's search, and a possible paradox with the return of Doctor Whooves. I wonder how Time Turner will react to this?
1132506 Oh you just missed him. Yea, see he had to go out of the state for a family reunion, and to attend college, and to get the ,um streamers? Yea! Super supreme limited edition party streamers, that only humans are allowed to buy. But don't worry, I made him 'pinkie promise' to come back for that party in about, tw- no, te- no, fifteen years.
Okie dokie then!
*stares*
*sweat drop*
Okay, you're safe now.
That just gives me more time for your party!
......Buck.1132729
1132734
Where screwed.
Oh there you are! now it can be a double party!
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want to have Fuuuuuuuuuuuun!
DON'T LOOK BACK JUST KEEP RUNNING!
You don't like me?
Well then I'LL MAKE YOU LIKE ME!
*Runs past clemerl*
EVERY MAN FOR THEM SELF!1132773
1132780 Well if you insist. MINIONS! GET ME OUTTA HERE! *teleports away* See ya!
Aww, he got away. Oh well, 
I've still got yo-*Anvil lands on her* That's your last save. Bye!
1132837
I'm safe....for now.. Did you know pinkie has 9 live's? well that was her 5th. she'll back by tomorrow. Oh well i'll be in another state by then.
My body may be gone but my soul isn't. I CAN HAVE A HAUNTING PARTY!
Save yourself dude. She'll go after us one by one.
1132863
Like I said, That was your last save...
by me anyway. Good thing I know Ghostbusters. Oh Guys!
Uh-oh *flees*
See you tomorrow*keeps fleeing*
...Again....Buck.
Ha! How's that! Now I can relax.
.
1132955
Don't worry she won't go after me, i used the last of the pinkie spray.It warns of pinkie pie's. Good luck, may the horse be with you.
I don't get it?
\
Horse-force you know star war's...ug never mind.
Never who?
Kill me...
1132981
Don't tempt me.
1133003
eh oh well
Hmm party at night...hmm
What did you say pinkie?
nothing.......
Pinkie will find you.
files-cdn.formspring.me/photos/20120813/n502972813778b.jpg
1128942 Budum-bum-ch.
Great chapter. Saved by Celestia.
Wow, I was expecting this to stop being good fairly quickly. I must say I am pleased to be wrong and am looking forwards to future chapters.
Very enjoyable!
However, there is one thing that is bothering me. Lyra removed his shirt and shoes, but nothing else has been said about them. So technically, he should have been running around this whole time without a shirt or shoes; that's not something Conrad would ignore (I feel like Time Turner would have said something too). However, the complete lack of mentioning this, as well as him `washing what he has one`, makes me think that he somehow got them back. I'd appreciate it if you specified what happened here.
Apart from that, this is really fun! It makes me giggle~
))
-Silver
((P.S. - I WANT TO BE ADOPTED BY BIG MAC!
1133042 1133003 Can you please roleplay somewhere else?
1139055 Heheh. I guess I forgot to mention, while Turner and Celestia had time frozen, they grabbed his clothes, too. I didn't think it was important enough to go back and fill in, though. Figured it could just be assumed. My bad.
1141901 Don't worry, we're done. Sorry bout that, we just got carried away.
1141901
I guessed that, but ... I dunno, I'm weird with odd, specific details.
Also, I thought their [TheEpicArtists and Clemerl] little back-and-forth was kind of cute.
Made me laugh~
Meh, your story, your rules.