This Isn’t Happening
Sunset Shimmer did not expect this afternoon to end up with Twilight Sparkle communicating with giant bagels in a cave.
At least she assumed that Twilight was communicating with them, making sounds of affirmation and scribbling in her notebook while nodding.
Sunset looked to the left, and then to the right. “Um, Twilight―”
“Shh. They’re not done speaking yet,” Twilight said. “Uh huh. Yeah.” She scribbled in her notebook. “Oh! That’s interesting!” She scribbled some more.
Finally, Twilight seemed to have collected what she was looking for, faced Sunset, and handed her her notebook.
“Okay, Sunset.”
“Mhm?” Sunset asked as she paged through the notebook, the writing inside of it being complete gibberish.
“We have come across a species of sapient, nongendered, homosexual bagels.”
“Uh.” Sunset closed the notebook. “Did you say―”
“Yes.” Twilight nodded. “They have no ears.”
Sunset looked around and bit her tongue. “But you just said―”
“Exactly!” Twilight said. “And they need mucus to travel back to their home planet.”
Sunset glared at Twilight and pursed her lips. “Twilight, you’re not making any―woah hold the phone what are you keep your finger away from―”
But it was too late. Twilight’s finger was digging around inside Sunset’s nose, much to her concern, where it scraped out a booger.
Twilight smiled at the booger. “Alright! Now we can
Sunset Shimmer woke up with a start, taking short staccato breaths until they smoothed out to a more measured pace. She glanced outside to see the sun peeking out over the horizon.
Man, that was a weird dream, she thought to herself as she eased out of bed and put her slippers on. Well, time to eat breakfast, I guess.
She went into the kitchen where herself as a demon was sitting at the table eating eggs. She held up a hand in recognition as she beelined towards the cabinet and pulled out some instant coffee.
“Hey, me,” she said.
The demon murmured in response because its mouth was full of eggs. “How’s being an awful person?”
Sunset chuckled as she prepared a cup and threw it in the microwave. “You get used to it after a while,” she said as she punched the time into the microwave and set it to cook. “There are days when I even suspect I’m a decent human being.”
“Well,” the demon said before shoveling more eggs into her mouth, “you and I both know that’s a lie. Partially because you’re not human at all.” She sipped on her orange juice.
Sunset lazily punched into the air. “Well, you know what they say. Fake it until you make it.”
“Eventually the truth will come out,” her doppelganger said with a slight growl.
The microwave blared, signaling it was done. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to rely on everyone being too stupid to realize what a piece of trash I am, then, won’t I?” Sunset said as she removed the piping hot coffee from the microwave and sat down across from the demon, who finished her eggs and was now nursing her orange juice.
“They’ll piece it together eventually,” the demon said as it sipped on the juice. “I mean, keeping the school divided through fear doesn’t wash off.”
“Right,” Sunset replied as she took in the aroma of her cheap coffee.
“Or zombifying the entire school.”
“Right.”
“Or.” The demon picked her teeth with a claw. “Y’know, trying to kill a bunch of people because they were trying to stop you from taking over Equestria.”
Sunset shrugged. “Like I said, it’s not my fault that they can’t see what a monster I am. So I’m just going to keep―” she waved a hand through the air “―lying my pants off until they figure it out and ditch me.” She sipped on her coffee, upon which her eyes popped open. “Something’s not right.”
“What is it?” The demon asked as she continued to sip on her juice.
Sunset pointed at her cup of coffee. “I distinctly remember pouring coffee, but this tastes like tea.”
“Hmm.” The demon finished her juice and poofed away the glass. “That’s strange.”
“Strange is right,” Sunset said as she stared at the cup. She sipped it again. “Now it tastes like orange juice.” She took another sip. “Now apple.” Another sip. “Now… rutabaga?” Sunset shook her head. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was
Sunset woke up in a bed. Or maybe a couch.
On a second sensory rundown, definitely a couch. And her head felt something awful.
She opened her eyes with some effort. They eventually focused on a room with someone sitting in a chair. That someone, upon further focus, turned out to be Twilight slamming down an energy drink and throwing it into a pile of similarly labeled cans. She didn’t look so hot.
Sunset rumbled into a seated position, at which Twilight’s head snapped to her with a smile, eyes bloodshot. “Good morning, Sunset! How are you feeling?”
Sunset rubbed her head and groaned. “I’m feeling kind of… bleh, actually.” Sunset smirked. “Like someone knocked me out with one of those foam swords.”
Twilight sneered and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “Just as I suspected. Someone attempted to take advantage of you.” She yawned. “It’s a good thing I was here with you. I had to keep the door telekinetically barred all night.” Just then, the door lost its purple sheen that Sunset hadn’t noticed was there until it disappeared.
Sunset half-grinned as a warmth exuded through her. “Aw, that’s sweet.” She looked around. “By the way, whose house are we in?”
“I dunno,” Twilight said with a shrug as her eyes fluttered. “One of your friends’, I think.” She tittered. “Well, I guess they’re all your friends, technically.”
A knock came from the door. “Permission to come in.”
Sunset’s ears perked up. Is that…
“That would be up to Sunset,” Twilight interjected as she looked over to the young woman on the couch.
Sunset hummed contentedly. “Yeah, sure, Bulk. Come in.”
The door opened to reveal the hulking brute of a teenager holding what appeared to be a comically small glass of water. “Oh, thank goodness you’re alright,” he said as he walked over to Sunset and handed her the actually-quite-large glass of water, which she thirstily gulped down. “I wanted to throw a nice party and then you got woozy all of a sudden and―”
“It’s okay, Bulk.” Sunset gulped down some more water. It turned out she was very thirsty. “Unfortunately, these things happen.”
Bulk Biceps snarled and shook a fist. “If I find out who did this, I’m reporting them straight to the authorities.” He relaxed his hand and the muscles on his face, then smiled. “You’re just lucky you have such a good friend.”
Sunset glanced at Twilight, who seriously looked like she needed some sleep.
Yeah, I guess I am.
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Random... but I liked it.
8044203 I’ll goddammit your Syeekoh.
8044230 glad you liked it!
img0.etsystatic.com/075/0/10826895/il_570xN.828192636_86e4.jpg
8044261 HAH!
I knew I heard it from somewhere.
OLY CRAP SOMEONE SLIP SUNSET A RAPE DRUG?!
Thank goodness Twilight was there!
8044272 It’s fortunate that she has such a good friend, yeah.
8044281 ‘The fuck’ is exactly right.
8044297 Okay. What did you have in mind?
Slight formatting error there, Syeekoh. Another story down and another step down the ladder of sanity, eh?
8044325 Thanks for the catch.
And I’d say sanity is trying to catch up with me.
And I thought I was harsh on Sunset. Oh well. If you'll please excuse me, my brain is currently leaking out my nose and I should probably staple it back in before ebaegahoksnvornsa;a4/...
8044336 Yeah I guess I did put Sunset through the ringer a bit here.
Also I suggest putting a bowl under your nose.
i137.photobucket.com/albums/q237/FuzzyFurvert/Image%20Macros/ff74dd33c3dbe1e7004638f1dfc6ce00_zpsmadg7hac.jpeg
You get this image because I can't find the one of Ronald McDonald going what the fuck did I just read.
8044354 Man.
I have to write more stories like this to use up your “wat” pictures.
Yeah, I've had dreams like that.
And SciTwi really is a good friend.
8044397 Yeah, one of the hard parts here was making a nonsensical dream that made sense.
And she really is, yeah.
This story does the same thing to my brain that jalapeño cream cheese does to my bagels
Also:
8044514 Fixed.
Also jalapeño cream cheese sounds amazing.
I claim editing credit n_n
I understand the first part of her dream, that was due to the drug she was tricked into taking, the second is dark, and sad.
Showing Sunset feels, she thinks she still unworthy of friendship and love, and seem sees that they will leave her, and they have the right.
Self inflicting guilt, shame and self hatred a very hard thing to rid of.
8044573 I can really relate to that sentiment.
31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lubbvyqZzw1r3k1m8o1_500.png
It was good, there just wasn't enough. That and the explanation was so brief and impactless I had to re-read the last section three times just to figure out what the heck happened.
8044642 I can understand that criticism.
I often forget that other people don’t share the same headspace as I do, so what I think is impactful may not be so for others.
8044274
Uh...yeah.
Every time you post something, I'm typically baffled by what I read.
And just like every time before it, the next time you post something, I'll happily stumble right into it. "This time for sure!"
Please don't change too much.
8044802 Thank you for sticking with the Syeekoh experience. I’m glad that you’re enjoying the ride so far.
Hahahaha this was soooo random. Randomly hilarious!!!! Excellent job!!!! Awesome story!!!
friend's
8044844 Thank you for the correction. I appreciate it.
Bit too much quoting.
Hella dark, man. You're getting better at that.
8044858 Fixed the excessive quoting.
And I wouldn’t really classify it as dark, per se, because the tone isn’t so easy to pin down imo.
Do you really think it’s that dark?
if im under standign this correctly some one tried to date rape drug sunset but scitwi saved her neat
needs more
The bagels need mucous for, sapient as they may be, they have not found proficient lubrication, lubrication which they may use to effortless glide through the frictionless surroundings of spehssssssssssss. They glide from planet to planet to find peace and pleasure. And also to get away from the foul pretenders known as Cheerios– foul, parasitic beings who pretend to be the young of the bagels, hitching rides on their mucousal residue like freeloading bastards. Damn the Cheerios! DOWN WITH GENERAL MILLS!!! GENERAL MILLS WILL RUIN THE HOMOSEXUAL BAGELS!!!!!!!!!
(I kid. Honey Nut Cheerios are the best. Especially when you add more honey. Yum!)
Also did Sunset Shimmy watch Sausage Party at some point? There was totally a homosexual Jewish bagel in there :B
It must be nice to have a nice breakfast with your evil alter ego. Y'know, just making snide comments rather than trying to choke and stab each other out the door or whatever.
This scene needed moar eggs :|
Eggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggiesnbacon
<_<
>.>
Ponuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts
Bulk Biceps is best special snowflake.
Gonna go with it was Brad who spiked the drinks.
Wait. How can Twilight use magic to. Lock the door if she was a human?! Ohhhhhh... I bet the magical homosexual bagels gifted her with magic across dreamspace. Because that's totally a thing homersexual baygulls would do.
Nah. I changed my mind. Twilight spiked the drinks. For SCIENCE.
Well it exists?
I really don't know what I'm supposed to do with this. If I go for a dark meaning, I'm not comfortable with what it implies, especially with Twilight picking a booger out from Sunset's nose. If I go for a lighter interpretation, there is still this part about Sunset and her demon-self.
So it was okay I guess?
What a clever little pun the title of the chapter is.
The chapter title speaks for it self.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
And also the comment below mine.
\\I//
8044411
Ah, where's the fun in making sense?
Not sure what to feel about this one. The second dream was cute and sad which is why I'm commenting, I guess, but it certainly hairpinned there at the end.
Probably should be the plural-possessive "friends' ."
What is this I don't even... congratulations, you did it again.
You are a perfect practitioner of what one of my teachers taught me at high school:
If you're unsuccessful at persuasion then confuse them instead.
You just, you know, skipped to the confusion part instead. And it's super effective. Good job
Bwaaaaaa?
Wait, what!? Someone drugged Sunset, and Twilight didn't call an ambulance!? I know they have cell phones in this world, what the heck Twilight!? I mean, great job looking ater her and all, but seriously she should have recieved some medical attention.
8045008 Okay is not bad. I can’t expect smashing success with everything I try.
8045252 You know, first I had “friends”, then someone corrected it to “friend’s” but that didn’t feel right and then you come across with the word I was originally going for but didn’t type. I love the English language sometimes.
And I identify with the second dream so hard you don’t even know.
Huh. Well, that happened. Interesting stopover in Sunset's latent self-loathing on her way back to consciousness. Still, if Twilight has telekinesis, it means that Sunset's done quite a lot to make up for her past misdeeds. Thwarting brainwashing seahorses, saving reality itself, and helping Twilight through her post-transformation stress disorder more than balances the scales. I just hope Sunset can accept that.
Also, yay for slightly scary Purplesmart looking out for Condiment Hair.
In all, an excellent blending of the surreality of dreams and a surprisingly deep look into Sunset's deeply harbored self-doubt. Thank you for it.
Wait, where's Twilight's horn?
This was nice to wake up to.
8044870 Rape is kind of inherently dark, right?
8045646 I mean, maybe?
I just don't really feel like it needs to be labeled dark because that's not the main conflict, I guess.
8045650
You heard it here, people--Syeekoh is okay with rape.
8045658
8045650 I'm not arguing for a Dark label. I'm saying the story is dark. In the same way there can be a romantic scene in something that isn't tagged for Romance.