It was about ten years ago today, I still remember it like it was yesterday. She was new in town, and hardly anypony knew anything about her. But, there was something about her that attracted me to her. I couldn't put my hoof on it, it certainly wasn't the way she looked, or the way she seemed to have a "no bucks given" look about her. But, I just knew she had to be... the one.
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This as promising at first, but the off characterization and the ending just didn't help. I recommend double spacing between paragraphs, reading a few more OctaScratch stories, and not using numbers in place of words.
8041924 Thanks for your feedback, I'm relatively new to writing stories and have a lot to work on. I will do my best to improve on what you told me about.
That was short and sweet.
I'll agree with ShadowblazeCR as to the promising start. it did veer off into left field a bit at the end, as I'm not sure Vinyl would be that brash.
On the first date at least.
I'll still give it a like...OctaScratach is kinda my crack along with Sunlight
OBSCURE REFERNCE TIME!!!
8044865
Yep, just like you...
More REFERENCES!!!
"Neo, you're the one."
"Ariel, you're the one"
OH MY!!!
8047192 i'm pretty sure the first sounds of this song explain how their night went ;)
MEH