• Member Since 22nd Jan, 2017
  • offline last seen Jan 2nd, 2020

pabrony


A broke(n) artist and writer.

Sequels1

T

Takes place during Rainbow Rocks.

After being confronted in a dark corner of CHS by the Dazzlings, I begin to wonder if there is truth to what they said.

Part of the SciTwi Shimmer Chronicles

Warning: triggers of self-harm, suicidal thoughts and swearing.

Now with a review from That one RationalCritic.

Update: now with an audio reading on my YouTube channel.

***Author's Note***

If you or someone you know or love is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. I know from personal experience that it helps.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 45 )

This is a good chapter, I really want to read more. also hope Sunset reveals her pain,it's tiem the Rainbooms and Princess Twilight realize how badly they hurt ehr and screwed up.

8062017 Thank you. I wasn't sure if I would do a second chapter or just leave it as is. I guess I could do a sequel.

Nice, this is the dark, depressing shit I´ve been looking for. Sure, it is a little bit tame in the dark/gore department but the thoughts and monolouges off Sunset are spot on. This totally needs a sequel!

8064229 I need to keep it somewhat tame for my own personal reasons but I'm putting the pieces of the sequel together for it to make sense. I'm also considering tying these in as prequels to my SciSet series.

Fair enough, can´t expect everyone to be as fucked up as I am! Ahahaha...haha...hamlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-818749-2-q3pAZ.png

Won´t it be a little bit forced if you make this a prequel though? I can understand Twilight being oblivious at times but she probably have some amount of awareness and noticing Sunset´s scars. Trust me, scars are more easily spotted than you expect and Twilight has seen her naked a few times but then again it all depends on if she cut herself deep enough I guess... I suppose it att hangs on the sequel and how you handle that but hey, i´m sure you can probably make it work!:moustache:

8064481 In order to tie it together with the rest of the SciSet series I would need a prequel to Sunset's Day. That would entail me pulling a George Lucas (i.e. Star Wars: Episode III) to tie everything together.

It had been two weeks since the fallout from the Fall Formal and along with Snips and Snails help, I finally finished rebuilding the front of CHS. Twilight Sparkle's friends visited me at lunchtime and after classes let out in a near futile attempt to get me to be their friend. Fat chance of that happening. They were only doing it because they were told to. I mean, I was just a complete asshole to those girls. I sabotaged Applejack's bake sale, ruined Rainbow Dash's reputation, dumped dog shit on Rarity during the Spring Fling, destroyed Pinkie Pie's decorations on numerous occasions and bullied Fluttershy to the point of tears, just for my personal enjoyment.

And poor ickle wickle Sunny Wunny wonders why nobody wants to know? She may be 'reformed' but she still did this! All of this! And it's only been two weeks since her reformation from school bully to goody good girl. Guess what Sunset? Just because YOU'RE ready to change, doesn't mean others are ready to accept it. It takes time to repair the sort of damage she caused which, to be absolutely fair, Sunset hasn't been given.

Of course, they put on a good show in front of the rest of the school but as far as privately, that's another story. They had sleepovers without me, zoned out when I needed someone to talk to and never even accepted my Facehoof friend requests. Hell, they even changed their phone numbers between the time Twilight helped them figure out I drove a wedge into their friendship and when smacked me in the face with the rainbow laser. I can understand why they changed their numbers but "my friends" didn't give me their new numbers until, again, after the Battle of the Bands.

Did Sunset expect them to react any differently? Really? Give the Humane 5 credit here. Sunset was a Queen Bitch for YEARS! They didn't trust her! Why should they, really? The one who spoke up for her buggered off back through a portal straight after the crisis was over.

"We can use that magic on the Sirens, just like when we used it on Sunset Shimmer when she turned into that horrifyingly awful winged monster. Um, no offense," came from the mouth of the Friendship Princess.

While I answered "None taken," in my head my thoughts returned the razor sharp pocket knife that was in my jacket.

This happened, honey buns. No point trying to hide it. For all the nasty shit you caused, you keep right on saying "No offense".

What the Hell am I?! Chopped liver?! I thought as I once again began trying to hold back my tears.

Yes, quite frankly, yes you are. Because it's only been 2 weeks and you can't expect people who you bullied for years to just get over it and accept you as their new bestie overnight.

8081874 To clear up some confusion. In this fic, it was two weeks after the Fall Formal was the announcement for the Showcase. It was another couple months after that when the Showcase preperations began.

8081921 Aaah I see. Thanks for clearing up the timeline, and please, continue with the good work!

Before I read this, what is the Gore and Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

8253801 Itvs nothing more than youvd see in a PG-13 movie. It's more to cover my butt than anything.

when smacked me in the face with the rainbow laser.

I think that should be when they smacked me

And to put the icing on the cake, the five snobs knocked me out of the way to hug their friend and for her to them about the Sirens while I was forced to listen from a distance.

and for her to tell them?

Pinkie Pie bought drinks for everyone, except me, so had to do without because payday wasn't until next week.

so I had to do without one?

Typos aside, I'm usually not a fan of stories like this as they're usually too much for me to handle. However, I made an exception with this one as I find the character of Sunset Shimmer to be rather interesting.

This was a very emotional and powerful story. I absolutely loved it. I'll give your other Sci-Twi Shimmer stories a read at some point. :) Great job!

8432256 Thanks. I'll get those fixed ASAP. Be warned, Book 2 is pretty dark also during the first 3/4 of the story.

8432645 If it's anything like this in, I can handle it.

Though I might not get around to it until my current story (which is gonna be decently long). I'm also sick, so yeah. Still, I must say again: very good job. If the other books are as good as this one, you've definitely made a fan in me. :twilightsmile:

I guess you can that my visit here...

puts on make believe glasses

Was a run by reading.

:trollestia:

8554345 No as in coincidence or no as in you don't like the story?

Interesting interpretation of the original story. Yes, in the movies it turned out just fine. But, if no one was following up or truly paying attention to Sunset, it's entirely possible that this could have been the way she interpreted what happened. Very interesting.

Comment posted by Aweirdassguy deleted Apr 17th, 2019

8825244
fair point, i would not be so forgiving as the show. Still a good story none the less

Wow, I absolutely loved this rewrite! It's still such a good but sad story. <3

Also,

I shook the thought from my and tagged along behind the six of them as they went to Sugarcube Corner.

head^

:twilightsmile:

9568573
Um, oops. Grammarly doesn't catch everything. :twilightblush: Thanks.

9568655
Thanks! I'm thinking of rewriting the sequel soon so keep an eye out.

8825244

you lack empathy, just because a person did something horrible, doesn't mean you have to be horrible in return.

So, going into this fresh. This a series I will spend my last remaining days of summer reading. Hope it's worth it

I like how you explore Sunset's mindset during those awkward and uncomfortable moments in the movie.

I do think you demonize the Rainbooms a bit, but it still is a good exploration of Sunset's alienation from others.

Hmm. A sadly believable take on Sunset's time shortly after the Fall Formal. I don't like to think that the girls would actively, intentionally alienate her... but as I said, I could see it happening.

Why do I feel like Sunset in these times?

Listening to Barbie Games: JonTron while reading this made it SO. FUCKING. FUNNY!Have a mustache for being awesome. :moustache:

It would be good if the audio read voice was their own voice

I’m conflicted about this. On the one hand, I understand Sunset’s thought process. She’s frustrated, sad, and very much depressed. (The “No offense” - “None taken” line is doing wonders for her mental health.)

But on the other hand...

I feel like you are degrading the Rainbooms. Like, a lot. Now I get this is from Sunset’s point of view. But she was truly repentant and broken by the first movie, and the Rainbooms are the only ones willing to tolerate her. So I don’t think she’s going to go around thinking they are “snobs”. Nor do I think they would intentionally alienate themselves from Sunset, not when they promised to help her.

So yeah. This story seems slightly inconsistent with Sunset’s character at the time of Rainbow Rocks, and a little OOC for the rest of the Rainbooms.

The rewrite is well done. It digs much deeper, and wraps us in her head much more emotively. It helps others understand these kinds of feelings.

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