• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

RadicalDishonesty


A dirty rotten liar.

T

Filthy and Spoiled Rich have marital problems. They can't agree how to raise their daughter, and their marriage lacks the connection and partnership it once had.

And to make matters worse, they have been sent by a chaos god to the world of Everglow. A world full of magic and adventure, but also one that is much more dangerous than Equestria.

Fortunately, where there is opportunity, a clever couple can seize upon it, hoping to discover a way home from the relative safety of shop ownership, instead of taking up arms and throwing themselves into danger.

But for many, the adventuring life chooses them, instead of them choosing the adventuring life. And it can be a bit pushy.

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 114 )

An everglow crossover fic?
Okay you have my attention. lets see where you with this :pinkiesmile:

Let's see how ol'Spoild takes to Everglow. Hopefully she matures or many Filthy can bring over a new mom for poor Diamond Tiara.

I think Discord would like this guy but I get the feeling that Princess Luminace will not be happy that Unspoken pulled this. I don't feel sorry for Spoiled Rich yet, hopefully she grows up a bit on this adventure.

The Riches fighting marriage problems and hobgoblins simultaneously? Sign me up!

8043103
Well, he did talk about "red tape", so maybe he got permission?

Or, more likely, he exploited a loophole.

8045040
The promise of marital strife is what bumped this idea from a silly notion about a businessman being dragged to another world to one I was interested in.

8045581 Since a heal spell removes all mental disorders, would a pair of them improve the Riches attitudes towards each other? What about an atonement spell?

"You never take middle watch dear, even though I need 8 hours uninterrupted sleep to regain spells."

"Well you never take 20 when checking a door for traps!"

8045917
I don't see "marital relationship neglect" on the list of conditions that Heal removes. :pinkiecrazy: No easy solutions for these two.

Either way, those are way funnier than they should be.

Funfact: Filthy Rich is Lawful Neutral, Spoiled is just Neutral.

8045994 Interesting. I love alignments. I agree on Filthy. Despite some people wanting him to be a hero, he's never really come off as focused on anything but earning more money. I would have pegged Spoiled for Neutral Evil. But then again I guess that depends on where the line between neutral and evil really is. If you're an unrepentant narcissist but you don't actually break any laws, can you be evil, or do you remain neutral? If Spoiled was on her way to a spa appointment and found a dying child that she could revive with CPR, but it would make her late for her spa appointment, and either way no one would ever know, would Spoiled let the child die? (I can't make up my mind on the answer to this question for her).

8045999
Well, we also know very little about them. They've been in only a few contexts, that it could go many different ways... I think Filthy as explicitly good is a stretch, but only a stretch not a breaking of his previously established character.

In this story Filthy is a fundamentally decent person. He likes being liked and prospering. He even wants to do the "right thing" most of the time. He would feel bad if he were to accidentally make the world a worse place with his actions. But he lacks the sort of drive to really go out and make the world a much better place. He leans to good, I suppose, but lacks commitment and conviction.

The answer to whether Spoiled would save a child or not is really down to interpretation, and giving my interpretation (as used for this story) here would probably spoil things.

8046124 Ok, fair enough. I love your description of Filthy Rich's morality. I always figured most characters (80%+) were neutral, and most of them think of themselves as "good." Having a general positive hope that things will go well for everyone, but absolutely no desire to put in significant effort to make it happen, sounds like a solid summary of neutral.

Can't wait to see the tear-jerking story that is Spoiled's Choice then!

YO.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/7/23/53557__safe_solo_twilight+sparkle_animated_reaction+image_big+eyes_the+stars+will+aid+in+her+escape_relevant+to+my+interests.gif
Hold the phone. Now give the phone to me.

Did somebody actually write a story about the Riches and Spoiled ISN'T a henpecking she-demon who eats live puppies for breakfast with a side of children's tears? A story that still keeps her in character? A story where they're two ponies with a struggling marriage but said marriage isn't a Tennesee Willaimseqsue carnival of misery? All the while, Filthy is still a decent dude who actually loves his wife?

AND on top of all that, Filthy and Spoiled Rich get to go on an adventure to potentially save their marriage, like are you kidding me over here? It's not my birthday for another six weeks but apparently my present came early. Grand Rich adventure/marriage therapy, hell. to. the. yes.

8045999
Now, what I find interesting in that scenario is that Spoiled took classes to learn CPR in the first place because that's something that you need to know how to do, or risk doing someone serious harm. The fact that she took the trouble to actively learn CPR feels like it'd be a boost to the general alignment... but on the other hand, it IS a bit of a nasty process that could potentially ruin her outfit/hair/coat/whatever. I feel that if she DID pass by the dying foal, it would be more for that reason and less for being late. (Ponies build their schedules around her, not the other way around after all)
On the OTHER hand, if she were going to the spa anyway, they'd probably fix her up anyway (and it's not like she can't just do a walk-in, I mean do they even know who she is?). Still, it's a lot of effort.

If anything, what I see happening is one of two equally possible results:

A) A debate (ranging from two seconds to two minutes) involving a menagerie of excuses perfectly good reasons and lies justifications for why she could totally still keep walking and not feel bad, resulting in a hesitant abandonment of the kid.
And then quietly feels horrible after the fact. Maybe sends some flowers to the family on the down-low.
or
B) She feels bad after walking five steps, then turns around and grouchily gives CPR, then yells the kid's parents' ears off as soon as they show up because "your son coughed up on my dress do you know how much that COST."

So... I'd call it a maybe,

8046637
I expected normal fans of Rich Family stories to more or less steer clear, because I'm taking them out of their natural environment of Equestria (and interacting with their daughter) and putting them in a completely different one.

So, I'm glad to see someone enthusiastic about the Rich family characterization, here.

Fanfiction is already pretty far down on the long tail of Internet storytelling, and this story is closer to the tip than most.

I also laugh whenever I read "Tennessee Williamsesque carnival of misery."

8046637 Glad to see you here, Patch. Yeah, as I was writing that hypothetical (which is my go-to for defining in RPGs if a character is neutral or evil), I realized that Spoiled probably doesn't know CPR. Let's say she wanted to exploit her position as head of the school board to be a chaperone for a class field trip to Canterlot or Manehatten where she could boss everyone around for days at a time, but chaperones need CPR.

I like your answer, I'd probably call that "neutral with evil characteristics," which is how you fudge things.

Oh Spoild is going to love what is about to happen to her. Let's see how she handles some forced labor for a bit.

Looks like they shouldn't have called upon the sea ponies.

I do wonder what classes they will pickup? Filthy doesn't seem to have the strength he could be more ranged, Spoiled I cannot tell just yet but hopefully nothing that will give her to much power.

Didn't take Spoiled Rich to be the perceptive type, but okay. It would be really interesting to see what Filthy and Spoiled can do.

I love the emoting you have. I need to work on that... Good start!

Please? No? Oh well, tried to give you a say...

I like your Unspoken.

Lucky! Most get a more violent greeting.

8110080
Thanks! I have trouble always figuring out... the "right" gestures but I try to avoid a "talking heads" scene.

8110105
He let them choose. As long as they choose what he already wanted.

It would probably be just as bad to try to cooperate with him, though. The chaos is coming to their lives no matter what, and trying to barter it down might just give him more vectors to make chaotic.

8110117
Hey! These two have a pedigreed outcome: Twilight and Spike got enslaved in their first five minutes in Everglow too.

8110594 Only after they were beaten up first. Twilight thought she could use her maaaaagic. Silly unicorn.

8110679
I had forgotten, and only reread as much as the beginning of the fight last time I read it.

Fortunately, the Riches were spared the indignity of losing the fight by their cowardice sensibility.

Yaay.

Of course, they could be beaten up and taken prisoner, so it wasn't really a bad choice.

The sea sled heaved up over yet another wave, the sea slapping loudly against its hull as it slammed back down on the sea. -- Repetition f the word sea.

8112256
I sea (:rainbowlaugh:) what you mean.
Is now:

The sled heaved up over yet another wave, the sea slapping loudly against its hull as it slammed back down on the water.

Phew, now read. The action simmers.

I just shake my head at Spoiled Rich, she is going to cause a lot of harm if she cannot open her heart and show some kindness. Hopefully she will show some signs of growing a heart soon.

:c Aw, Spoiled. Your cynicism and lack of faith in ponies is palpable and honestly kind of sad. She quite literally shrugs off the suggestion that "Kindness doesn’t cost you anything,” which implies to me that she thinks it does. She thinks the worst of pretty much everyone, and I wonder why that is.
Also, Filthy needs a hug. Both Riches need a hug. Preferably, hugging each other.

I can't help but wonder who Dawn is to rate not only leniency, but also the attention of the queen herself. The Rich's wouldn't realize it, most likely, but unlike Celestia, most rulers don't get all that up close and personal with their subjects... :trollestia:

I love this premise. I'm eager to see where it goes.

The sheer fact that this fic EXISTS is filling me with so much glee. Add to that good writing and characterization and you have made me very happy!

Will you be cutting back to Diamond Tiara in Ponyville every so often or are we sticking with Mr. and Mrs. Rich from here on out?

Looking forward to more!

Poor Richie. Earth pony constitution only gets you so far.

Glad to see an update! It's kinda silly how excited I got. :twilightblush:

Wait I would have thought Spoiled Rich would have been the first to fall! Now let's see if Filthy can get his first level soon.

8245209
Glad you look forward to it. :twilightsmile:

8245532
Filthy got a little unlucky as he got a driver that looked at his frame and decided he could handle the work... and might have just not really cared. So he was pushed too hard.

8246540
Fixed, thanks.

"It's okay, he's just sleeping..."

I wonder how herplan will work? She obviously has some skill as she was able to rise to her position in society however I feel she will sooner or later over play her hoof and get herself into a whole lot of trouble.

Color me interested. Please do continue as we watch her work.

8286923 8289283
Thanks!

I suppose I'll reveal she is in the information gathering phase right now.

But we have to catch up with our unconscious protagonist. Our deutertagonist can wait.

find the bricks had half -- half what?

you? The -- missing quote. Good characterization in this chapter. Looking forward to the next.

laying in his cell - lying in his cell
thrusted his hooves - thrust his hooves
laid then down - laid them down
clumsily stacking his - clumsily stacking his.
understand if if - understand, as if


This was a well written, gut punch of a chapter. I wonder how much more abuse can be heaped onto Filthy Rich without a reset to give the audience a chance to recover.

Keep going!

8348056
8348685
Thanks for the corrections, and the encouragement.

Is it getting too onerous now?

8348803
Only the waiting for the next. :D

8348803
Not too onerous, not yet. I'm happy to keep reading and see where you go from here.

The exposition is telly, which is a shame because its premise is interesting.

The scene with the employee is forced. Why not begin the story already in the conversation, where the exposition, fears, and characters can be revealed/shown, while keeping a forward motion?

The second scene needs to do a better job of painting a scene. You show enough to invent a blurry image, but then just get on with it. Taking a moment to immerse the reader in the location would benefit the scene, or you could just skip to the meat of the scene—the interaction between Rich and Tiara.

I adore this interaction. While it feels a little rushed—something remedy by re-write—it establishes the relationship and the current issues within the family. That, and father and daughter moments tend to warm the heart.

The third scene is also well done. It makes sense that the mother of this type of family would behave that way, and her reasons are at the very least believable.

Overall, the premise of the story is interesting enough to get through the telly prose. A nitpick is that, sometimes, you go through the effort to describe things, but you don't go all the way. You just say enough for the reader to get the idea—fancy paintings and such—but you never take it far enough to establish an atmosphere.

All this, however, can all be remedy through a re-write.

Onto the next chapter!
~B_25

I can't wait to see more of Spoiled here. I like how she berates encouragement into Filthy Rich.

8351738
When I imagined the scene I called for her and Dawn to try to cheer Filthy up and them not really succeeding, but I think I wound up with something more convincing than I was intending.

Overall I'm happy with her spiel, though. It's outraged and arrogant and encouraging all at once.

Glad to hear you are looking forward to more, too.

8353181
I wonder how much of Filthy's lifelong drive towards success was because he was less afraid of whatever was in front of him than he was of Spoiled.

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