• Published 21st Mar 2017
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A Rich Everglow Adventure - RadicalDishonesty



Filthy and Spoiled Rich, in the middle of marriage problems get sent to the world of Everglow, a world of adventure and danger.

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A Filthy Hammer Throw

Spoiled Rich walked across the forepony’s hut for what must have been the tenth time that day, delivering clean tools, which appeared to have become her semi-permanent role. She hated the taste of the leather bit in her mouth, hated the whole thing, but her being allowed to pull the cart by herself without lashing her to it meant they were trusting that she wasn’t dangerous.

Which was perfect position for a pony to be in if she wanted to be dangerous.

She heard the jingling of the tools behind her. The often sharp and always made of something hard tools. The first couple of days they were checking the number of tools fastidiously, but almost as soon as they stopped she squirreled away a chisel and a hammer in an out of the way place. A place that, if they were found, they would be assumed to be misplaced… but that she hoped they weren’t.

When the time comes they would be useful.

And she had to do that before this second step that she was working on. This thing will be discovered as missing, and it will cause problems.

But… she took a look over the field, catching an eye of her husband working. With his head down, and his ears pinned. It’s been days, and he insisted he felt better, physically and mentally, and maybe it was true physically, but…

His slouch, his ears pinned to his head, the apologetic obsequiousness he had been demonstrating was another story. She locked her jaw to prevent herself from gritting her teeth. He was broken.

She knew she couldn’t entirely blame him. It’s been a week and it’s looking just as hopeless as before. But she couldn’t let him get caught up in this life as a habit. If they allowed this to become routine then it would be harder to do anything. They would get complacent, start to convince themselves it wasn’t that bad. They needed a success, something where it was clear the guards didn’t have total control over them.

So, she walked across the forepony’s hut for the tenth time, wondering if this time was the correct time to make her move. If there wasn’t an opportunity she would have to take the risk sneaking in herself.

She scanned the yard again, but she was mostly stumped. The work was proceeding as planned, apparently. Ponies bustled around, artisans shaped wood, and some ponies were raising the frame for a building, pulling on ropes as they struggled to stabilize the frame.

And her old handler was there, too, struggling with his very own part of the frame, apparently having been given a whole quarter of a house for just himself. If he were to drop it the whole house would collapse.

Spoiled Rich smiled a devious smile. It was perfect.

She gave a quick look at her husband to see if he was busy, and he was apparently mid-rest between jobs. So she glared intensely at him, with her best stern frown. Before even a minute passed, he noticed her intense glare, and his eyes widened in surprise. Immediately ditching the glare, she gave a quick furtive glance around and gestured him over with her head.

He also gave a glance around, but seeing that his handler was busy and he was not being asked for a, started walking across the yard.

She twisted around to the little cart, fishing out a small hammer she held in her mouth, and trotted toward her old handler, which, fortunately, was also towards her husband.

“What do you need, Spoiled?” He looked over his shoulder, trying to see if anyone had noticed their meeting. “It’s probably not safe to meet like this.”

“Oooun moomnnt,” she slurred from behind the hammer’s handle. She trotted just a few feet further, trying to gauge the distance between her and her old handler. She nodded, reared back, and with a whip of her head, let the hammer sail through the air.

It twirled through the air as it flew, smacking her old handler in the side of his back. It was hardly a square hit, but as soon as it slammed into him, he opened his mouth in shock. Which caused the rope to escape from it. He fell back and hit the ground, and so did the frame he was holding, which hit ground a second later with a loud crash.

There was more creaking and yelling when the other ponies that were struggling with the frame were also shocked, and a few of them had the ropes ripped from their teeth, which caused the other four sides to start to collapse.

Shortly, none of the frame for the house continued, and they all lay in a pile in the center of the house in a pile of lumber and lashing.

Filthy Rich stared at the disaster, his mouth agape.

Spoiled smiled and placed a hoof gently at the bottom of his mouth, closing it up. “That’s better.”

He looked back to her. “What… did you do that for?”

She smirked. “I needed a distraction.”

“What in the world for?”

“I’m going to fetch some keys from the forepony’s hut.” Filthy started to say something, but Spoiled cut him off. “Listen, you need to go and hide the hammer I just threw at that lad.”

He opened his mouth, attempting to form a sentence, and she cut him off again.

“If they find the hammer I had just cleaned they’ll come looking for me, and I need more time.” She placed her hooves on his shoulders, pushing him just a little forward. “So go and get the hammer while they’re busy chewing him out and hide it.”

Filthy, still looking dubious, walked forward to where the hammer fell near the lad, as he started attempting to explain himself to a forepony that looked about to pop a blood vessel.

Spoiled, for her part, about faced and quickly walked back toward the forepony’s hut. She had a key to find.


Filthy Rich walked himself up to the site of the to-be-raised-but-now-is-a-disaster house. He was nonchalant, he imagined. He tried very hard to be nonchalant, even. He hoped it was working.

He obviously nonchalantly strode over to the site of the collapsed house, trying to look like he was looking at the house, instead of scanning the ground for the hammer. It was laying on some cleared ground. Currently the pony Spoiled struck was shrinking down under the forepony’s glare, trying to get a word in edgewise to the forepony’s angry rant.

Filthy Rich circled himself around the house, trying not to look like he was making a beeline to the hammer. Reaching it, he kicked it into some nearby high grass with a soft tuft of noise. He went back to more earnestly watching the forepony yell at the stallion Spoiled hit with the hammer. He was really getting laid into, and being pushed around, and despite the stallion being actually taller than the forepony, he was cringing down underneath the forepony’s rant.

Filthy felt pangs of sympathy for this stallion, who was guilty of nothing other than being in the wrong place in the wrong time, and, apparently, having no spine. However, despite that lack of spine, he managed to blurt out a response. The forepony leaned close into him, growling something menacing, before stepping back and announcing something to the other ponies. He also finally took note of Filthy, shooing him away.

Filthy took the excuse to step away, moving into the taller grass where he had kicked the hammer. I had better move it, so that they won’t find it. So, he walked over to find it in the grass, giving it another kick, and with another chuff it landed nearby, disturbing the grass.

He walked over to the second place it landed, looking at it in the grass, and the forepony’s voice rang out. Instinctively, Filthy looked up to it, to find the forepony shouting at him.

A lance of panic went through his mind. He began to step away from the hammer, before stopping himself. It’s going to be found if it is still here, he thought. I have to move it.

He looked up to the forepony stomping over to him, and back down at the hammer. Moving it with his mouth was right out. He’d notice the grass and movement if Filthy kicked it. Instinctively he grabbed at it, but of course, he couldn’t get a grip on it.

Damnation! He could feel bile rising in his gut as panic started to set in. I’m going to be found out. With the hammer right here, right after that stallion explained that he was probably hit in the back by something. There is nothing not suspicious about this.

He looked back down, stomping lightly on the hammer. I am about to be found, and then I’m going to be punished… or be beaten again.. He grit his teeth glaring at the hammer under his hoof. And all of this would be fixed if this damn hammer would just stick!

Something welled up from deep within Filthy Rich. Something that was both familiar and unfamiliar. A pulse of some kind of power came from within him, and in his mind he could feel a certain gesture. He moved his hoof with this short pattern, almost of its own accord, and the pulse of power intensified and there formed a faint sigil in the air near the ground.

He placed his hoof back down and it felt… just a bit stuffier. But when he picked his foot back up to inspect it, the hammer stuck to his hoof. His heart skipped a beat as he almost raised the hammer above the high grass, but with a command from his mind the hammer unstuck.

He glanced up quickly, and the forepony was almost upon him! He quickly placed his hoof next to the hammer, and willed it to stick to his hoof, and took a step back, making sure to shuffle awkwardly and not raise his hoof with the hammer stuck to it above the grass.

The forepony spread the grass in front of Filthy, looking down where Filthy was staring just before. Of course, he saw nothing. Filthy Rich, quickly moving his hoof behind him and letting the hammer set down on the ground, plopped down and waved his hooves up, trying to look helpless.

The forepony spent just a bit looking in the grass around. He looked up and glared at Filthy, who gave his best innocent smile. He snorted, stood back up, and issued a command to Filthy Rich, waving him away.

Filthy nodded, and, making sure to stick the hammer to his forehoof, shuffled away, back toward the hut he knew contained his wife. Once he was far enough away, and was sure nopony was looking, he deposited the hammer in a place where it might be likely to be laid by mistake, far away from where it struck the working stallion.

He nodded to himself, satisfied that his bit of subterfuge went well, when he heard a yell coming from the direction of the hut. He turned around just in time to see a nauseating yellow stallion drag his wife out of the hut. She was resisting, and he roughly yanked her by her neck.

Filthy’s blood boiled. That was his wife he was stallionhandling!

He started running over to her and the stallion, and even yelled out “Hey!” but as soon as his voice rang out, both the yellow stallion and his wife looked to him. The stallion tensed up, but his wife, she just glared at him with a slight shake of her head.

Filthy Rich stopped in his place, and grit his teeth. The stallion smirked, said something and yanked his wife along some more.

The forepony and his group arrived, and the yellow stallion started talking rapidly, shaking Spoiled for emphasis. The forepony seemed to think for a second, then called out something. The tan pony that Spoiled hit earlier came up, and was immediately struck by the forepony. The surrounding other ponies fell dead quiet.

The forepony, deadly serious, muttered something to the crowd, who then all gasped.

The tan pony stammered out words, but, as usual, Filthy couldn’t understand any of it. His vision drifted over to his wife, who was already looking back at him. With her eyes and a subtle move of her muzzle, she motioned over closer to the hut.

Looking over near the hut, Filthy caught a glint of something metal. It had to be the key she came for. While the forepony yelled at the tan pony, Filthy once more sidled up toward his target, his muzzle closer to the ground looking to confirm the key’s position.

Just as soon as the key was right underneath his muzzle, a loud yell, the same word as the loud yell before, pierced the camp, and Filthy froze. He looked back up quickly, and the forepony was gesturing toward him.

Quickly, Filthy backed up and slammed his hoof onto the key, willing it to stick to his hoof as the yellow pony that was attending his wife lunged for him, grabbing him roughly and yanking his neck just as he had Spoiled.

He was pulled up with his wife, with the forepony and half the camp looming over them.

The forepony stared the two of them down, and announced a command, and the yellow stallion, alongside a couple others, descended upon the couple, roughly yanking their heads over, and forcing their mouths apart.

In turn both Spoiled and Filthy had their mouths probed by filthy hooves and their heads shaken to dislodge anything they might’ve stolen.

Finding nothing, the stallions roughly shoved the slaves down to the ground. The forepony, for his part, made more announcements and several worker ponies started combing the ground for anything stolen, with another entering the hut.

The forepony also followed up by growing something menacing, to which the yellow stallion chuckled. He yanked on the Rich’s chains, pulling them back in the direction.

Then, from out in the yard, a feminine voice announced a question. A very familiar voice. Filthy Rich resisted turning around as the forepony answered, and there was an even more familiar cackle.

As the yellow pony led them along, the dark blue seapony that was Filthy’s previous handler joined them, smirking. But she didn’t say anything, nor did she look back, but Filthy knew it was only a matter of time.

The four of them finally reached the cages, and the yellow stallion, now gray in the dim light, instead of opening the cages simply turned around to look at the two of them.

They stayed there in silence, watching each other for a moment. After nearly a full minute, Spoiled finally lost patience, “So what do you--”

The hoof came almost faster than Filthy could see, cuffing her in the jaw. She flinched back, collapsing under the blow.

Filthy, for his part, felt his blood boil again and he raised up and started to yell, only to result in the stallion delivering a punch to his jaw too. He reeled back, dizzy from the force of the blow, and he heard the telltale cackle of the dark blue mare.

A painful sting of a crop came down on his back, causing him to arch it and collapse in pain. He groaned from the ground, catching a hoof to the abdomen, knocking the wind out of him.

For the next few minutes he was vaguely aware of the yellow stallion carrying out a conversation with the mare as he was continuously knocked around by them. It wasn’t like the last time, he wasn’t being lacerated nor was he ever being knocked out… but it hurt like hell.

As the blows began to abate, he felt himself dragged somewhere, and heard the clatter of the cell door closing. The blinding pain began to subside as he laid down, getting his bearings. In the cell, beaten, but somehow it wasn’t as bad as he had been before.

He looked around the cell, and found Spoiled, disturbed but still awake in the cell. She looked back at him, miserable and hurt, and she hung her head. “I’m sorry.”

Filthy Rich felt his jaw fall just a little bit, and he looked on, his mouth gaping a little.

“I… I thought we needed a win. I thought I could distract them and I could get the key and hide it away somewhere to use later. But instead… this happened.” Her ears pinned against her head. “I messed up, Filthy.” Her voice was wavering. “I messed up.”

Filthy Rich, looking at his wife, started to chuckle. The chuckle shortly turned to guffaws, turned to full body laughter. It hurt, to laugh, but laugh he did.

Spoiled Rich looked at him with a baffled expression. “I’m glad to see you… in good spirits, but perhaps you’d like to share with me why.”

Filthy Rich held his hoof out to Spoiled Rich, and she crawled up closer, trying to look at it. Before she got in range, though, the key fell down from the center of his frog, making a soft sound as it hit the ground.

“The key!” Spoiled Rich came down, using her mouth to transfer the key to her own hoof. “But how did you carry it?”

Filthy Rich smirked and placed his hoof on the key, willing it to stick. But as he moved his hoof it did not stick. He tried a few more times, finding that the power he had felt was gone.

“Just… what are you doing?”

Filthy Rich thought back… the symbol, the gesture from his hands was still yet clear in his mind. He allowed his hoof to retrace the pattern he was envisioning, and expressed his will. He felt power come from somewhere deep inside, and the pattern’s glyph glowed faintly in the air, with his hoof glowing for just a moment at the end.

Filthy and Spoiled Rich stared at his hoof, both now mesmerized by it. The weight of what just happened landed on Filthy Rich. He just traced a gesture and caused a glow. A magical glow. He had just used--

“Magic…” Spoiled whispered. She looked up to Filthy. “But how?”

“I… don’t know.” He placed his hoof on the key, willing it to stick to his hoof, and raised it up. “The… gesture just came to me. It felt natural.”

“Sh-show me again.”

He traced the gesture in the air again, willed and there was a glowing glyph. Spoiled attempted to trace the same gesture with her hoof, but there was no effect.

“Do you… feel anything unusual, Spoiled?”’

She traced the pattern with her hoof again. “... No. Nothing. Damnation.”

Filthy pursed his lips. “Sorry, honey.”

She flipped her hair around. “No matter. This is a boon. Can you do anything else?”

Filthy felt around inside his head. Or… what passed for feeling around. Or… well he didn’t really do anything. Because he couldn’t recall anything similar to this. “I… don’t think so.”

“Well, I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. If this magic can be used for anything else, do not keep it to yourself, alright?”

Filthy Rich chuckled to himself, wincing a little from the bruises. “Will do, honey. Will do.”

The two of them sat in silence for a moment, the key still attached to Filthy’s hoof. Filthy broke the silence. “We should find a place to hide the key.”

Author's Note:

Well. Once I figured this one out I wrote it in three days. I'm rather happy with that. Progress is progressing!

Oh. And there were things I've been wanting to put in for a while put in this chapter. Man. I don't think I expected this part to be 20k words when I wrote those sea ponies... but I like how it's been turning out, I think.