• Published 7th Jul 2012
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Doctor Who: Equestria needs a Doctor - Infinite Carnage



The Doctor lands in the world of Equestria, but he wasn't the only one.

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Chapter 2: The Impossible

The Doctor just couldn't understand it; it was simply impossible. The TARDIS was reporting that everything was functioning normally, yet it wouldn't move. He had a horrible feeling of what it could be. He had hoped that he’d somehow missed something, but after six thorough check-ups, it all read that the TARDIS was in good condition. He knew that there was only one possible explanation. His home was literally refusing to leave the planet.

"Why? Why do you want to stay? Have I not caused enough damage already?"

The only response the Time Lord received was a metallic groan. The Doctor let out a heavy sigh, and decided to look at the options before him. He had two in reality: the first option was to stay in here and just hope that the TARDIS would come to its senses and allow him to leave. The second was to walk out of the TARDIS and face the hyperactive music that was just outside his door. He was willing to bet Twilight was still breathing heavily outside his door, eager to get in.

He gave in quickly, knowing he couldn't win in either of these situations, and walked slowly to the TARDIS door.

He listened closely to the frame of the door, and could hear heavy breathing. The Time Lord slipped the key into the lock and turned it as slowly as he could. He heard the click signifying that the door was indeed unlocked, and he breathed one last heavy sigh as he prepared himself for what was about to come. As soon as he opened the TARDIS door, a purple pony came shooting through the doorway at what the Doctor could only describe as near light speed. She didn’t get far though, before running head-first into the central console, knocking herself unconscious.


Twilight Sparkle felt like her head had just been kicked in multiple times. She was having a lot of trouble lifting her head above the cold surface she was now lying on. It felt like she was lying on a combination of glass and metal. She dared to open her eyes to what was above her, and there she saw the blurry image of a light pink creature. When the creature talked to her, its voice seemed very distant echoing.

"Twilight! Can you hear me?" The creature called.

She wanted to call back out to the creature, but the words just did not seem to pass her lips, so her mouth just hung there open. It called out to her again. "Twilight? You're inside the Tardis. I need you to respond to me."

It all suddenly came back to her at once; the Doctor. A Time Lord. His knowledge of her. The TARDIS... She paused on that last part.

"Wait a second…I'm…in the Tardis?"

Her vision suddenly became clearer the more she focused on her surroundings. She was in a large room which had a center with lots of buttons and levers. She also noted the weird statues that seemed to surround the room. Suddenly it dawned on her everything she was seeing was impossible. The room she was supposed to be in was very large, while the TARDIS was just a little blue box, not much bigger than the Doctor.

She stood up surprisingly fast; her intellectual mind was having trouble conceiving the fact the room she was now in was the same as the small box. She paced slowly away from the crouching Doctor and towards the entrance of the TARDIS.

"What…how…this is…I can't…what?" Twilight spluttered out.

She suddenly ran straight out of the door behind her. She looked back to confirm that she was standing outside the same blue box that was in the middle of her library. Twilight felt like she was having a mental breakdown. "What spell can do this?!"

She ran around the box to see if there was some kind of trick to it, something involving mirrors perhaps, but found nothing. She ran back inside to confirm that she was not insane. She tried to voice her thoughts."It's…"

"I know." The Doctor cut her off with a small grin on his face.

"But it’s…"

"I know."

"It can't…"

"I know."

"ITS BIGGER ON THE INSIDE THAN ON THE OUTSIDE!" Twilight screamed. The Doctor thought she had finally snapped.

The Time Lord just stood there for a moment, unsure on what to say, but could only find two words to sum up the situation. "… I know."

To the Doctor’s surprise, Twilight’s face morphed into an angry scowl. She bent her hind legs as if she was about to lunge at him. All she did though was make her horn light up a purple colour. She pointed it at the Doctor and started to pace towards him.

"This is impossible, nopony has this kind of magic! So tell me the truth. Who are you and how did you know who I am?"

The Doctor raised his hands to show no hostility towards her. However, Twilight did not power down her horn.

"Miss Sparkle please, I know this is hard to explain, but…" Before he could finish, the Doctor’s monitors started to pick up, and a blue light started to scan Twilight's horn. She tried to dodge out of the way, but to no avail. New statistics appeared on the monitor closest to him, and the Doctor forgot about Twilight for a moment to look over the data that had been given to him. "Ah, now this explains a lot. My TARDIS has just identified the mysterious energy that brought me here. Although it isn't your’s, it shows that the energy was…magic."

The Doctor pursed his lips, struggling to finish his sentence without laughing. He didn't believe in magic, however in the show magic did exist, thus in this reality Unicorns (which also shouldn't exist) like Twilight, could perform magic. The data also showed it did not completely match Twilight, signifying that she was not the one who brought him here.

He scanned the room for Twilight, who had taken cover behind the sofa in the TARDIS. She peeked her head over the top.

"What…What was that?"

"Sorry about that. The old girl took the liberty of scanning you, as it managed to recognize the energy signature coming from your horn as the same that brought me here… Magic."

The Doctor looked over Twilight stepping away from the coach and back towards him. Her aggression had dispersed with her fright.

"So… is the size difference inside this place some kind of magic?"

"No, it's the chameleon circuit."

"And what is that exactly?"

"It's a device within the TARDIS to help it camouflage within its surroundings. It bends space and time as it's in its own dimension. It uses this ability to make it appear smaller on the outside, and it constantly changes its appearance to fit its surroundings. For example, if it went into an alleyway, it would appear as a rubbish bin, so it wouldn’t be noticed. The circuit on this TARDIS broke years ago, and its stuck as a police telephone box. Since I like the design, I've just never fixed it."

Twilight had been entranced by every word that the Doctor was speaking. It was all so alien to her, yet in some weird way, it all made sense. She did have experience in time travel, and she had theorised that, with enough magic, she could bend space around herself. One thing stuck at her however.

"What's a police telephone box?"

"Oh, it was something people from my reality used around the 1920's to 50's to lock criminals up in until a police officer could arrive."

Again, Twilight understood what he meant, if only slightly.

"So... You're from another planet?"

"Well not exactly, I'm from another reality where there is no magic and…"

"Wait, sorry, did you just say no magic?" Twilight cut in.

"Yes, there's no such thing as magic in my universe. We mainly use technology like the TARDIS, but less impressive." The Time Lord retorted.

The unicorn thought for a moment. "What about ponies?"

"Well, yes, there are ponies in my reality, but they're not exactly the same. And out of kindness, I think we should leave it at that." The Doctor said hesitantly.

Twilight had calmed down significantly now. She took one more look around her surroundings, making sure that she was not daydreaming. Her head started to hurt slightly.

"Ugh, I can't stay in this room. It’s making my head hurt..."

The Doctor knew that he would probably be here for a while, so he took this opportunity to make peace with his new neighbour.

"So then, why don't we have ourselves a nice cup of tea. That helps me all the time."

Twilight nodded, "Yeah. That sounds like a good idea."

The two walked out of TARDIS together, with the Doctor preparing himself to tell all.


The Doctor had been introduced to Spike, and the initial meeting was much the same as Twilight's as it involved a lot of confusion, and a lot of questions. Spike was soon calmed down, and he proceeded to make tea for the three of them.

The Doctor and Twilight sat there, exchanging facts about each other's universes. Twilight had mentioned that she didn't think aliens existed, but came to the conclusion that it may indeed be possible after meeting the Doctor. The Doctor talked about Gallifrey, although at first he was reluctant to do so. He left out the fact that he was the only Time Lord left in his universe, and Twilight was in the middle of telling him an interesting story about Princess Celestia, the co-ruler of Equestria.

“-In the end. it turned out that it wasn't a doppelganger, and the truth was that Princess Celestia genuinely didn't like tea. However, when sales in tea began to nosedive, we decided to cover it up and say it was all a giant misunderstanding."

The Doctor couldn't remember an episode like that in the show, but he theorised that worlds like Twilight's had adventures and stories that were not shown on TV. The Doctor wondered what happened when the show was cancelled? Did the world cease to exist or did it just carry on? The Doctor's train of thought was interrupted by a question from Twilight. "Doctor, I still have a question for you. How did you know who I was?"

The Doctor wasn't really sure on how to answer that question. Twilight had been told a lot today and had experienced things that she didn't think were possible. The Doctor didn't know how much more her fragile mind could possibly take. How could he break it to her that the only reason her entire world existed might be because of a children's TV show? She probably wouldn't even know what that was.. He decided to make up something.

"Well… um… I can… read minds."

He didn't say it with full confidence, despite actually being able to do that. However, he realised that he had something on him that could back it up. "In fact, this piece of paper proves my credentials as a mind reader."

He pulled out his trusty psychic paper which had gotten him out of many troubles in the past and shoved it in front of her; Twilight read it aloud.

"The Doctor. Professional mind reader, cleared on licence to work on Gallifrey."

The Doctor quickly placed it back in his pocket before Twilight could get a closer look and figure out that it was just a plain piece of paper. He quickly took another sip of his tea and continued on.

"Yeah, sorry about reading your mind without your permission. I needed to know where I was, and I just so happened to come across your name."

The Doctor gave a smile as it appeared that his lie had worked. Twilight looked on in amazement that the Doctor had such an ability.

"That is amazing! But I must respectfully ask that you no longer do that, as privacy should be respected for everypony."

The Doctor put on a serious look, trying to cloak the smile that he wanted to show. "Alright. No more! I won't read anyone else's mind."

"Actually, your mind reading powers are quite fascinating. Is there anything else interesting about your biology?”

At this point, the Doctor thought that there couldn't really be any more harm done by telling her more about himself. Twilight wasn't a threat to him.

"Well actually, I have two hearts."

"Wow, really?"

"Yes, I don't really know how anyone can really survive with a single heart, personally. One of my hearts stopped working once and I could barely function at all."

"Anything else?"

The Doctor thought for a moment. "Well, I guess I could tell you about how I regen…"

The Doctor was cut off by Spike who placed two sandwiches in front of them. There was something a little off about them to the Doctor. "What are these?" he asked.

Spike looked up at him with a tired expression on his face. Not only had he cleaned up the mess the TARDIS had made when it materialised inside the library, but he also had to make them food.

"They’re Dandelion sandwiches. Twilight told me to make you one because she thought you might be hungry." explained Spike.Twilight stepped in.

"They're my favourite, and Spike can make a pretty good meal for a pony."

To the Doctor, the key word there was 'pony', and as the Doctor looked at the food before him, he wasn't sure if he should eat it. There were grass blades sticking out from the sides of the sandwich, and what looked like the head of a dandelion sticking out another. He had eaten some of the finest cuisine the galaxy had to offer, from earth to delta-5, but he had never been offered a dandelion sandwich before.

Against his better judgement, he took a bite. He chewed gently, savouring the butter and blades of grass. To his amazement, he liked it.

"Mmm! Now this is fantastic. I mean, it's not as good as jelly babies, but man, this is one of the best sandwiches I've ever eaten. And I'm over 900 years old!"

"What are Jelly babies?" Twilight pondered aloud.

"They’re sweets, but probably not the kind you have in Ponyville. Let me guess, you have a sweet called jelly foals?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Same basic thing. I loved them in my second and fourth form, and practically offered everyone I met one, but it always seemed to get mixed results."

Twilight simply smiled and continued eating. She wasn't sure what he meant by these forms, but did not question it. Her mind had been practically blown enough today. But then an idea came into her head.

"You know… you said your TARDIS won't leave, and that it was brought here by magic, right?"

The Doctor's mouth was full of food, but he managed to get out a muffled yes.

"Well, it might be being kept here by a spell. So maybe we should gather my friends and possibly seek out who could have grounded your TARDIS." Twilight suggested.

The Doctor didn't understand magic fully, so this was a potential theory as to why the TARDIS was refusing to leave, and then it occurred to him. "Wait does that mean that I get to meet the Elements of Harmony?"

"Let me guess. You saw that in my mind too." she let out a small giggle "It will be interesting to see how they will react to you, but yeah. I think that would be a good idea."

The Doctor gave the biggest grin he could, and stood up as quick as a flash. He shoved the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and drank the last of his tea, gulping it all down in one fluid motion. After he’d finished he said, "Twilight Sparkle, it would be my honour to accompany you to town today."

The Doctor realised at that moment that he had not felt as happy or as excited as he did in a very, very long time.

Author's Note:

Please say what you liked and what you didn’t like. Praise + constructive criticism welcome!