Uncontrolled Desires
Princess Flurry Heart’s First Kiss
♥
It was difficult being a princess. Mommy made it look easy, but Mommy was old, like a whole bunch of numbers old, and Flurry Heart was not. She was really smart for her age, though. Shiny had taught her to count to fore while walking back and forth, even though Mommy frowneded at him for doing it and made them quit.
It was really sad. She had liked the metal hat and the pokey stick.
Sometimes when Mommy and Shiny were doing big important big pony things, they didn’t have enough time for Flurry. That was okay. She could play with Aunt Twilight and Uncle Spike, or even Uncle Sunburst would let her play in his library, although it caught on fire a lot when she was around, and he didn’t like that.
But there was a place even more fun she got to visit a lot of days.
Sunshine's Happy Foals Preschool was everything it said, except for the school part, which was not too bad. There were all kinds of little ponies there, from sparkling pink ones to sparkling blue ones to even sparkling purple ones. A few of them had horns, and several of them had wings, but none of them had wings and horns except for Flurry. It made them all different, which was great, because Flurry Heart was different too, just like them. Mommy and Shiny said they were very accepting, from the lowest of the lower classes to... Well, Mommy and Shiny. It had seemed so important to them for Flurry to go to the school and make friends with all of the other Crystal Ponies that sometimes Flurry Heart thought Mommy and Shiny were paying her just the teensiest bit less attention than they should.
Particularly when packing her lunch.
After all, there were only two cookies in the little brown bag she had brought to preschool today, even after she had reminded Mommy several times that she was a growing alicorn who most probably required a minimum of three cookies in her lunch, or fore if she were to have one to share.
The shiny mauve colt who sat in front of her during crafts always had three cookies. He had mentioned it during the first time they met before school, and Aunt Twilight said it was important to make friends to share happy times with. The answer to her problem seemed so simple. Mommy could always get whatever she wanted out of Shiny, and had talked about their happy times together, so all Flurry really needed to do to get the mauve colt to share his extra cookie was to act the same way Mommy acted to get Shiny to do whatever she wanted.
This was going to be easy.
- - ♥ - -
The shiny mauve colt had a name, but it was too difficult to pronounce for most of the foals, so they just called him Taffy. During lunch, he always sat with a bunch of other shiny crystal foals, so Flurry waited carefully until Taffy had gotten his lunch bag out of the cooler and was walking back to his table before she made her move.
Mommy always said that if she wanted something, she would have to ask for it, so Flurry walked right up to Taffy and asked, in the polite voice that Mommy had taught her, “May I have one of your cookies?”
Taffy stopped, looked at her a little strangely, then shook his head and walked over to the lunch table with the rest of his friends.
Okay, maybe this was going to be more difficult than she thought.
- - ♥ - -
...Day Two
Waiting until the little colt had picked up his lunch from the cooler again, Flurry Heart positioned herself along the path he was going to take to get to his usual table. This time she very carefully asked in her polite voice, “May I have one of your cookies, please?”
Taffy stopped, looking up at her with wide violet eyes, then shuffled to one side until he could get around her and scurried over to the lunch table with his friends.
This was not working the way Flurry Heart had hoped. She was going to have to take it up a notch.
- - ♥ - -
...Day Three
This time, Flurry Heart was prepared. She slipped into the line for the lunches right behind the shiny colt, and once she had her own lunch sitting on her back between her wings where it would not fall off and get scrunched, she trotted up beside him. Mommy had flicked her tail at Shiny once, and he had followed her around the castle afterwards, with both of them giggling until Flurry got to spend some time with Uncle Sunburst again. Mommy had called it ‘getting some’ and since Flurry wanted to get a cookie, it should work for her too.
Once she got beside Taffy, she flicked her tail.
Taffy bolted forward, flew across a table, and landed in a sea of waving shiny legs on the other side.
Maybe she should not have flicked her tail that hard.
- - ♥ - -
... Day Fore
Still a little upset, Flurry Heart queued up with the rest of the shiny little colts and fillies to pick up her lunch. Thankfully, nopony had gotten hurt yesterday, but she still had not gotten the third cookie she deserved.
This time she had a foolproof plan. That cookie was going to be hers.
Taffy picked up his lunch and headed for his table with the paper sack in his mouth.
Flury picked up her lunch and put it on her back between her wings. The plan was working perfectly.
She picked up her pace on the way to the tables, drawing up next to the shiny colt and reaching out with one wingtip to brush along his cutie mark the same way Mommy always did to Shiny.
Her own lunch slipped and began to fall off her back.
She reversed her clumsy wings and tilted the other way, only to have her lunch begin to tumble off the other wing.
It was going to hit the floor! Her cookies would be broken!
She swung her wing around to catch the falling lunch bag, only to hit it with the edge of her wing and knock it across the room, right into Missus Slate’s side.
She had to sit by herself at lunch. And her cookies were nothing but crumbs.
- - ♥ - -
... Day more than Fore
This time, her plan would work. It was perfect. Mommy could get Shiny to do anything when she did this, even clean their bedroom. Sometimes the two of them would be in there for hours with all the cleaning they did.
Flurry was very careful. The lunch pickup went perfectly.
The walk back to the tables went just as she had planned.
Then Flurry made her move.
“Ow!” Taffy looked up at her with wide, surprised eyes. “You bit me! You bit me on the ear! Why did you do that?”
Flurry did not respond right away, because she was trying to hoof the hair off her tongue. “Whenever Mommy bits Shiny that way, he does whatever she says." Flurry spat out one last hair and pointed to his lunch bag, which he had dropped on the floor. “Share your third cookie.” She paused, then added, “Honey.”
Taffy's face crinkled up in thought. “They're not honey cookies. They're pecan.”
“Oh.” Flurry Heart put on her best frowny thinkie face, which looked a lot more thinkie than Taffy, because she had a cuter frown. “What are pecans?”
“They’re little nuts.” Taffy squinted at her. “Do you really want my other cookie? They’re kind of small.”
He picked his lunch bag up off the floor where he had dropped it and walked with Flurry over to the table, where the other colts and fillies scooted over to give them room. She sat down next to him and they both unpacked their lunches. She was so excited she almost spilled her artichoke salad and the little container of applesauce. That extra cookie was going to be hers.
Taffy pulled a snowbush leaf sandwich out of his bag and a crystal berry pudding. And then, the cookies. There were three of them, just like he had said. Only…
“They are kind of small,” said Flurry. She pulled her two cookies out of her bag and sat them next to his for comparing. Each of her cookies was at least twice as big as his. And frosted, with a raisin on top.
“Wow,” said Taffy as his big violet eyes got bigger. “You’ve got amazing cookies. I’ll give you two of mine for one of yours.”
Two cookies for one was a really good trade, but Flurry Heart was feeling a little guilty at having been trying to get such small cookies from Taffy when she already had such big cookies of her own. Besides, she might not like them, and then she would have a leftover cookie.
“Trade one for one,” she said instead, pushing over one of her big cookies and getting one of his small ones in return.
It was delicious, so good in fact that Flurry Heart really wanted to eat another one. But by the time she had finished both his cookie and her cookie, Taffy had eaten all of his cookies too.
All except for a few tiny crumbs around the edge of his lips.
She had to act fast. At any moment, Taffy would lick his lips and the crumbs would vanish.
She leaned over.
Reached out with her lips.
And snatched the last crumbs.
They were delicious.
In fact, lip crumbs were even tastier than cookies.
She could hardly wait to get home and tell Mommy and Shiny.
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First comment for the author: By the way, Missus Slate is fine, just a few cracked ribs and some bruising. Thankfully, Twilight's Preschool Body Armor Project worked as intended. And that mark on the school wall will buff right out, with a little plaster.
No comments on Shining Armor's next project, the Pre-School Selective Draft Program, where certain lucky pre-school colts get to experience all the joys of a long 528 mile hike around the Crystal Empire's yeti-infested borders while being doused in meat tenderizer and BBQ sauce. It builds character!
(What, were you expecting Taffy to get cupcakes?)
*tale
This is adorable, and very well done.
hot
pfffffffff she didn't even realize what she'd done
Wow, is started off DARK AND CREEPY, but became LIGHT AND SWEET AND INNOCENT.
Are you Canadian?
Very, very deeply adorable.
8029654
Yep.
And also...
Georg strikes again!!!
this was wrong and funny.
and that song, omg...
So which is it? You call out manganese, but the chemical formula says magnesium. And you call out barium but the formula says beryllium.
I'm going to have to start a tumblr speaking out against such mineral insensitivity.
8029680 You say that like I actually know what I'm talking about instead of copy/pasting from the Taaffeite entry on the website....
8029684 Thanks, Fan.
8029672 I was raised on Doctor Demento songs. Explains a lot, I think.
8029658 Nope, Kansasan.
Edit: And I see my auto-downvoter has already visited. So nice to be loved.
8029692
Watch a Canadian commercial and then you'll see why I asked you this question.
E.g. The Rape Whistle
Lol, wish I had thousands of followers, who'd flock to my stories whenever I published one.
(Someday, someday...) 
Wonderful as always, with amusing twists.
Recommend adding the "heart horizontal rule line" before "Day Fore" and "Day More Than Fore" for consistency.
Very nice
Sequel?
This was funny!
And that's a home run folks!
Great story, very cute, but why is Flurry calling Shining by name instead of Daddy?
8029754 Maybe it's like Bart calling his Dad 'Homer' lol.
What a lovely wee piece this is.
8029754 Yea, I wonder about that.
8029658
As a Canadian, I can assure that this was never anything other that pleasantly light and fluffy.
Adorable.
Cadance is an awful role model.
I mean, dammit, the story was cute and all, but shit, Cady, keep it in your nonexistent horse pants while the kids are watching, sheesh.
I think Flurry would can her father Daddy.
Okay... I think everyone in Wendy's was wondering why I was having uncontrollable gigglefits... This was friggin PRICELESS!
Also... You should attend Bronycon this year
This is actually perfect little kid logic. I remember one kid in kindergarten saying he would marry this one girl because she knew how to tie shoes(!).
8029754
8029757
8029857
Mommy calls herself mommy. Mommy calls the other parent Shiny.
At least that's what sounds logical to me.
Reminds me of that one episode of Family Guy
I think everyone here can agree upon this: Cadance is the worst role model in the history of Equestria.
Poor Taffy is probably going to end up traumatized by these "more than fore" days of Hell every lunch time.
8029692 Nope that was me by accident.
Loved the story. Tried to add thumbs up. But screen wouldn't add it, so I pressed add and down back and forth to see if the count would move up, nothing happened so I just closed the page....guess it added a downvote when I logged out.
I realy enjoyed Flurry in this. You did an amazing job!!!
Got it to upvote too.
Adding to faves.
8029902 Don't forget the "hours of bedroom cleaning."
8029976
Eh, I guess. Still sounds kinda disrespectful or resentful on Flurry's part. I mean, my mom called my dad Kelley all the time around me, but he was still Dad.
8029996 Children most of the time call thier parents by first names when they are not feeling close to said parent.
Found in familes where the parent is always working or maybe too stern. both of which Shining falls into.
This is really cute. Flurry Heart is adorable in this.
8029976 That makes since
8029992 I'm sure they were more clean than the bedroom
8029705
Don't we all?
(Someday Daniel... SOMEDAY!!!)
(keep telling yourself that...)
8029996
Cadance only calls Shiny her daddy when Flurry Heart isn't around.
8030050 Never get into writing for fame, but instead for fun.
8030063
Hey I'm already part of that group!!!
That was such an adorable little story. Well done.
8030182
8029726 Picky picky. Fixed.
8029996 It took until I was in grade school before I realized my mother's real name.
8030006 Hey, he plays with Flurry Heart. He taught her how to count to fore too. Hup, two, three, fore....
8030025 Oh, you dirty-minded people.... never change.
8030059 Who's your daddy? (sorry, naughty mind)
8030063 I have to admit, the idea of rolling around in a bin of money like JK Rowling does have its appeal...
8029987 Sorry about that. For a while, literally everything I posted got two downvotes in the first 30 minutes.
8029982 I think just about any life experience imaginable can be defined in an episode of Family Guy, Simpsons, or South Park.
8029971 Planning on it. Worst case, I'll leave the house to go to work and call the wife later. "Dear, I think I'm in Baltimore. As long as I'm here..."
8029902 She is the horsey goddess of luurrrrvvvveeee.
8029757 I'll just leave this here...
8030282 77 upvotez to 1 downvote is beyond wonderful though.
8030282
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw831_medium.jpg
8030289 Honest, I'm a lot duller, fatter, balder (well, thinning), and less interesting in person. Just ask my kids.
8030287 I can't remember if Drifting Down the Lazy River or The One Who Got Away hit 100 upvotes before its first downvote. I *had* to keep peeking at it until that first door-ding.
8029553 Great story--love the way you worked childhood misconceptions into it.