9. Abandonment
The filly alicorn reached Luna, and began to nuzzle her leg. This shocked Luna from catatonia; she backed away as though stung by a bee, though bee stings were not normally something she even noticed. The filly let out a cry of fright at Luna’s sudden motion, nearly tumbling over once again, but her extended wings, small though they were, helped her keep balance. However, she also didn’t try to run away, and kept her large, round eyes focused on Luna.
Luna’s own narrowed slightly. This could still be a trick – was probably still a trick. “I am Luna, I am the Night,” she proclaimed, keeping her voice at normal volumes this time, and somehow unable to put true force behind her words. “I am the Shepherd of the Moon, the Tamer of the Stars, and the Sovereign of the Ceaseless Dark. Thou shalt identify thyself.”
The filly was walking forward again, heedless of Luna’s words. Her legs trembled with each step, and her head was bowed as she watched her own hooves working closely – so closely that she didn’t realize she had reached Luna again until she bumped into her and started to tumble. Her fall was broken, however, as Luna reached down with her head and neck instinctively, stopping the filly’s fall as an earth pony mother might with her own foal.
Within a moment, the small alicorn had her legs under her again, but she didn’t move her head from Luna’s own, instead rubbing her head against Luna’s own, eliciting a gasp from Luna. And that was when it struck her a second time, that this filly alicorn was her daughter – that this was not a trick, not some dark creature in disguise, just a foal seeking the comforting touch of her mother. Luna lowered herself onto her barrel, and the filly copied the motion, letting out a sigh as she gave her still new legs and hooves a break. She was still staring at Luna, mostly into Luna’s eyes, but occasionally the filly’s eyes would wander to take in Luna’s wings, her horn, her hooves.
A growling stomach – the filly’s – interrupted the moment. The filly let out a slight whimper at that, but stood up, walking towards Luna, probably looking to suckle – apparently the filly was unaware of the nature of its own “birth,” such as it was; in any event, Luna’s body was completely unable to provide the filly the nourishment she was seeking. That did not mean, however, that Luna herself was unable. Stopping the filly’s walk with one wing – eliciting another whimper from the hungry filly as she did – Luna’s horn glowed a deep blue. The filly’s eyes went wide at the sight, mystified, even more so when Luna created a waterskin from nothingness, a waterskin that was swiftly filled to capacity by magically-created, but no less nutritious, milk. Luna telekinetically waved the waterskin’s nozzle underneath the filly’s muzzle, and once she caught the scent of the waterskin’s contents the filly grasped it tightly in her hooves, then began to drink, settling down next to Luna as she did, pressing against Luna’s barrel. If she was disappointed that her mother was unable to teat-feed her, she didn’t show it, in fact showed the precise opposite when she lay her head against Luna’s side, nestling under her wing.
Before too long, the filly had drunk her fill. Luna nuzzled her after banishing the waterskin and its contents back to the ether, running her muzzle along the filly’s back until she burped. The filly, herself, seemed content to simply lie against her mother, having apparently decided that walking around was too much effort for too little reward.
“Was I ever as small as thee?” Luna asked softly, chuckling slightly as she did. Her daughter stared back at her, her eyes drifting closed, then snapping open, before slowly drifting closed again, as she fought a losing battle against sleep. Luna chuckled once more, nuzzling her daughter, an action that came surprisingly easily. Luna was hardly a virgin – she doubted anypony, anything, could live as long as she had and retain its chastity – but she had never before been a mother, yet she seemed to be taking to it easily enough.
Except one thing, and her eyes widened as she remembered. “A name!” she exclaimed softly, closing her eyes in contemplation as she cast her memory backwards. She may have never been a mother, and to her knowledge, neither had Celestia, but that did not mean that the subject had never come up between the two sisters. At times the two spoke of grave matters, matters upon which the world turned, matters of life and death, order and chaos, good and evil. At other times, they had talked about deep and meaningful things – the meaning of life, the nature of love, the responsibility of an alicorn towards lesser beings.
And, on occasion, they had spoken of nothing of importance at all. How would the ponies’ perception of their rulers have changed if they had ever caught the two discussing their opinions on this mare’s or that stallion’s finely-toned body? Arguing over whether white or red wine was better? Or even something as innocuous as what they would name their foals, if they ever had the time to bear them, or the courage to change their lives so?
Luna couldn’t remember where or when she’d had the conversation with Celestia, other than ‘somewhere’ and ‘a very long time ago.’ But she did remember the conversation itself, and the name she’d want to call a daughter.
“Cadence,” she said softly into the filly’s ear. By now, she had fallen asleep. “Thou shalt be Cadence, little one…”
This changed everything. This filly changed everything in Luna’s life. She had shirked her responsibilities for too long in Canterlot – nearly a year, hardly caring at all for the chaos that must have ensued with Celestia having been banished into the sun and Luna unable to muster the will to continue her regnal duties. She wondered what the political situation in Canterlot was. She didn’t know, but now she had to. She would need to go home, to raise Cadence and…
…and, like a beam of pure moonlight illuminating a path, Luna saw where that would lead. She saw a room, a room full of the finest silks and the softest pillows, with hoof-crafted toys for a foal, for Cadence. She saw Cadence in that room playing there, alone but for servants ordered to wait upon her mouth and hoof. Occasionally Cadence would look up to the door, but she would not see what she was looking for, not see Luna. She would have everything the daughter of a Princess deserved to have – everything but her own mother.
Luna blinked. No. That would not happen. She – she would make time.
Like she had made time for her sister?
Luna stifled a gasp of pain at that. Even now, it hurt, what she had done – what she had been forced to do – how she had been unable, unwilling, to see what had been happening to Celestia. To see the madness in her eyes until it was too late. To pay close attention to the decrees of the Day Court.
Of course it hurt even now. It had only been a year. Compared to how old Luna was, never mind her yet-older sister, what was a year? It was barely a moment. The pain was still fresh, still there…the sudden, unexpected arrival of the foal, of Cadence, had made her forget, truly forget, what she had been forced to do for the good of the world. Banish her own sister into the sun…forever. Even Luna could not undo the magic wrought by the Elements of Harmony.
And for the briefest of moments, Luna looked down at Cadence, now sleeping, in disgust for what the foal had done. For making her forget her own sister. Uncounted millennia simply forgotten, forgotten over what? An accident of their fight? This foal was nothing more than debris, fallout, and yet she had dared to rob Luna of her grief?
It was only for an instant, and in the next instant, Luna found herself nuzzling Cadence again in shock at her own action, needing to feel the foal’s coat and mane, needing to realize where her thoughts had just turned. The only thing Cadence had done was be born, not a natural birth, to be sure, but certainly no crime. She only wanted to be fed and to be close to the pony who she believed to be – who was¸ by any rational examination of the situation – her mother.
Luna closed her eyes. She could not return to Canterlot with Cadence. She could not be both Princess of Equestria and mother of a foal at the same time – but then, that was an easy choice while Cadence was snuggled under her wing, sleeping softly, but nevertheless still instinctively leaning in to her mother’s nuzzling. How could Luna choose anything but the foal?
It would be easy enough to hide, to raise Cadence on her own. She had moved mountains and boiled seas. She had no delusions about the difficulty of being a mother, but she also was completely confident in her ability to rise up to the challenge. Cadence would grow into a fine young mare…
…in a world with Equestria falling apart around her, with the three pony tribes reverting back to the old ways. Once more, Luna saw the possibilities take shape. With Celestia banished, with Luna disappeared, Equestria would crumble, fall apart into petty fiefdoms and weak city-states. Already that was beginning to happen while Luna grieved, and that was with her still visible, still making her presence known on at least some level to forestall arguments over succession – a matter that neither Celestia nor Luna had ever even considered before, as immortal beings had little need to concern themselves about what might happen after they died.
But if Luna disappeared utterly? Equestria, the dream, the union of the three tribes of ponies, would collapse, and its successor states would exist only to be preyed upon by dragons, by griffins, by whatever foul creatures looked at ponies and saw prey.
“No…” Luna breathed, eyes wide as she stared at sleeping Cadence. There was no true choice at all: Equestria had to come first. Luna – she would make every effort to dote upon Cadence. To spend as much time as she could on her, to actually be a part of raising her daughter…raising her in a world of intrigue and corruption. Raise her in a palace surrounded by false masks and political agendas. How old would Cadence be when she survived her first assassination attempt? Would she have even earned her cutie mark before her first attempted kidnapping? Would her teenage years be marked by increasing interest in stallions or mares and an increasing boredom with nobles trying to court her to gain wealth and power and a direct connection to Luna? And what effect would all this have on her?
To Luna, she would be a daughter. To Canterlot? One more political tool, one more weapon to wield against one’s enemies, one more obstacle to overcome by any means necessary. Luna could try to re-organize the government, but it wouldn’t work. It didn’t matter if the governance of Equestria was a monarchy, a republic, an anarchic commune or a rigid tyranny. There would always be ponies more interested in power than in morals.
And then there was immortality to consider…immortality had never bothered Luna. Ponies died and she did not, and that was simply how things worked. She had witnessed friends and, yes, even lovers grow old and wither and pass on, and she had grieved for each one, truly grieved, and she truly missed them all – but then she had moved on from each one, too. Her heart had been wounded, but eventually she had recovered from the wounds, and even the emotional scars faded with distance from the pain. Time truly did heal all wounds.
But Luna was old. Luna remembered observing the first ponies. She had had millennia to simply move amongst them in secret or to watch from afar, to grow accustomed to her own immortality compared to the fleeting lives of ponies. Cadence would not have that luxury. Cadence would grow up around mortals, make mortal friends, take mortal lovers, and watch them as they, one by one, passed beyond the pale – and she remained. In that scenario, under those conditions, Luna could easily see how one could prefer a fleeting life to an eternity of eternities.
Luna felt wetness in her eyes as she stared at sleeping Cadence. She inhaled sharply, biting back her tears, not wanting her daughter to awaken and see her mother crying. Luna could run away with Cadence, and doom Equestria. Or Luna could take Cadence to Canterlot, where she would be a target, where she would watch as everyone she knew withered and died around her, where it was easy to imagine her growing to hate her mother, or at least hold her in contept. And in either case, Luna would be a horrible mother. Most horrible of all, though, was the fact that Luna immediately came up with a third option – the most terrible of all for her, for at least in the previous choices, Luna got to keep Cadence.
But Cadence deserved better than what Luna could give her. If Luna wanted to make any claim of being a good mother, then the third option was the only one she could take.
---
The journey to Cavallia took a week for Luna to fly. She could have reached it even sooner had she flown at her full speed, but even though she was an alicorn, she doubted that Cadence could bear travelling at supersonic speeds. She also could have reached it even sooner had she not delayed every wing beat, stopped at every large cloud bank or interesting-looking grassy field or lakeside, and allowed Cadence to slide from her back and run around.
Cadence trotted and galloped easily now, of course, though she tired quickly. She seemed to enjoy racing Luna, never mind that a casual trot from the alicorn could beat Cadence’s full gallop. Luna let her win nine times in ten regardless, and when she did not, it was only because she would race ahead and then turn around, waiting for Cadence with wings spread wide and hooves outstretched, and when the foal reached her she would scoop her up and nuzzle her closely.
Cadence’s laugh was the most beautiful sound that Luna had ever heard.
Luna tried to remember what she knew of growing foals. While Cadence was able to run and play, her mind was still developing. She was not yet capable of any kind of speech, instead simply babbling incoherently. She wasn’t even capable of calling Luna ‘mama’ yet – though that, Luna resolved, was probably for the best, given what Luna had to do.
Cavallia was a nation of rolling hills and idyllic valleys to Equestria’s southeast. It bordered Equestria to the north and west, a generally peaceable kingdom called Zaldia to the northeast, and the wide expanses of the Southern Sea to its south. The kingdom had not known war or strife in four centuries, due to being a close ally to Equestria, the mightiest nation on the continent but for the Griffin Empire, and they were located far to the north, and currently dealing with their own internal squabbles besides. Luna was loathe to admit it, but in many ways, Cavallia was a superior nation to Equestria.
Perfect for raising a foal in.
Luna flew deep into the countryside, magic surrounding her to keep ponies from noticing her passage. Cadence lay on her back, asleep, blissfully unaware of what her mother was going to do. What she had to do, to give Cadence the life she deserved.
Luna found her goal soon enough: a vineyard. Cavallian vitners lead the simple, honest lives of a farmer, but their wine, being in high demand across the continent, meant that they could also live lives of relative comfort. Luna spotted the owners of the vineyard from the sky, an earth pony mare and stallion, looking like they had several fillies and colts of their own already – one more would hardly be unwelcome. Her horn glowing, she further used magic to look past their mere physical forms, and into their souls. She found nothing that offended her. Another spell, to read the minds of the ponies below her, found them decent folk, possessed of no hidden agendas or psychoses.
It was not enough. What Luna wanted to do was land amongst them and question them, interrogate them, make them swear ancient oaths to look after and care for her daughter with their lives. But if she did that, she would never be satisfied, and by the time she had finished Cadence would have been a mare in her own right.
Luna landed in an isolated part of the vineyard, using telekinesis to take Cadence from her back and set her onto the ground. This woke up the foal, but she took being disturbed happily enough, trotting up to her mother and nuzzling her closely. Luna returned it eagerly, pulling the filly close to her chest.
“I’m sorry…” she breathed into the filly’s ear, repeating the apology over and over again, though Cadence did not understand a word of it. After several long minutes of holding her daughter close to her, she moved her away, looking Cadence over for a few minutes before closing her eyes, and setting her horn to work. Cadence was once more wrapped in a midnight-blue glow. After a moment, the glow intensified.
Luna’s magic reached up around her daughter’s nub of a horn, incapable of channeling magic of its own yet. Grimacing, Luna willed her magic to flow across the horn like water across a sand castle. It gradually, gently disappeared, Cadence not even noticing it leaving her. Next, Luna moved to Cadence’s wings. These Cadence did notice, and she let out a cry of fright and shock, though the process was not physically painful. Luna nearly stopped there, nearly undid what she had done, but images of the alternate lives Cadence could lead entered her mind, and she forced herself to continue.
If Cadence understood that her own mother had robbed her of her potential for magic and flight, she didn’t show it. Instead, the filly rushed to Luna, hiding beneath her far larger form, not understanding that the changes to her body were being done by Luna herself. The princess ran a hoof across Cadence’s barrel and through her mane, trying to comfort her even as she worked harder. She reached into Cadence now, touching the very core of her being and working as powerful magic as she ever had over the filly. It wasn’t enough to take Cadence’s wings and horn – the disguise, the change, would have to be greater than that. It was not enough for her to look like an earth pony – she had to be an earth pony.
The spell was complicated, but not difficult, not for Luna. In a few moments, Cadence’s very basic nature had been changed, and she was an earth pony – strong, tough, grounded, in-touch with the land…
…and mortal.
Luna’s magic faded. She felt like she had just murdered Cadence, as surely as if she had conjured a blade of steel and plunged it into the filly’s heart. Cadence still pressed close to Luna, trembling, not understanding what had been done to her. “I-it’s f-f-for the b-best,” Luna explained to her daughter, her voice trembling uncontrollably, tears streaming from her eyes. Cadence didn’t understand that, either. She only understood that her mother was here, and she was warm, and that she would protect the filly. In some ways, she wasn’t incorrect.
Luna scooped up Cadence again, holding the filly close to her. For several long minutes she considered never putting Cadence back down, never following through with her mad plan. Even now, it was well within Luna’s ability to restore Cadence, to return to Equestria, to Canterlot. She could try to give Cadence the foalhood she deserved. She should try.
But she would fail, as surely as she had failed her own sister. Luna knew this. Her horn glowed again, once more touching Cadence, this time putting the filly into a deep, peaceful slumber before laying her on the ground, then closing her eyes and reaching out with magic, to the vitners, instilling within them a compulsion to come forward, to this part of the vineyard. She didn’t have to wait long. Within just a few minutes, the two earth ponies had arrived, neither understanding nor questioning their sudden desire. They didn’t notice Luna, for she still had the same perception-altering spell wrapped around her form, but they did see Cadence. The mare of the pair quickly came up to the filly, inspecting her, while the stallion looked around, rearing back onto his hind legs to see if he could find Cadence’s parents, but found nothing.
Luna waited, listening as the vitners spoke to each other. They spoke Cavallian, but language was no barrier for the Princess of the Night. The two ponies swiftly decided to take Cadence back to their house, where the mare would look after her, while her husband went into the nearby village to see if anypony was missing a foal. The stallion gingerly hefted the filly’s sleeping foal with all the care of an experienced father, laying her atop the mare’s back before the two left for their home.
“And what if we cannot find her parents?” The mare asked, as Luna listened closely, the distance they were putting between themselves and where they had found Cadence hardly an impediment to the alicorns’ senses. “Should…should we keep her?”
The stallion was quiet before answering his wife with “we’ll deal with that if we have to.” However, Luna was inside his mind. The answer he gave was not the first one that he had thought of – that had been “of course we will.”
“What shall we call her?” the stallion asked his wife.
Luna reacted before she could, planting the suggestion in the mind of the mare, a compulsion so strong that she could not help but name the foal “Cadence.” Luna had taken so much from the filly – her wings, her horn, her immortality, even her true mother. She could at least leave her with her original name.
Luna lingered for several more minutes, magically observing as the stallion and mare reached their home, showed Cadence to their own colts and fillies. All of the younger ponies acted with concern, and curiosity. The youngest asked if the vineyard was where all foals came from. In any other circumstance, Luna might have laughed at her naivety. As it stood, it was as though it were the signal for her to leave. She took to the skies once more, heading north towards Equestria, and unlike her slow flight into Cavallia, this time she moved as fast as she could, flying as though Discord himself were chasing her. As fast as she flew, however, she could not outrun the knife embedded in her own heart, nor the twin waterfalls that flowed from her eyes.
She managed to cross the border into Equestria, and made it as far north as the province of Palomino before the pain in her chest, the image of Cadence that would not leave her mind, finally became too much to bear. She had to purge all thought from her being before they consumed her and made her do something foolish – something like fly back to Cavallia and take Cadence into her hooves and lay waste to the vitners for daring take her daughter from her. And there was only one way she knew of to do that.
Luna landed in the center of a town she did not bother to recall the name of hard enough to rattle the ground itself and kick up a mighty cloud of dust from its dirt streets. “I AM YOUR PRINCESS AND I DEMAND SUCCOR!” Luna ordered as she stumbled from the dust cloud. Ponies had scattered at her arrival, some pouring from the local tavern, but as Luna approached – head bowed, staring straight ahead like a predator locked onto its prey – they fell back in, away from their princess.
“WINE!” Luna shouted. “MEAD! ALE! SOMETHING! ANYTHING! BRING IT NOW OR SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT!”
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Despite this whole chapter being a flashback, I elected to not make the entire thing in italics.
Don't be too hard on Luna here, guys. She's not in the best frame of mind now, hasn't been for a year, and is trying to deal with a situation she's never had to before - and for an immortal, those can be trying, indeed. She honestly did what she thought was best for Cadence.
.......it's hard to type when one is drying their eyes.....
Anyway, I thought it was already sad enough when Luna was getting drunk because of sadness from banishing her sister, but this on top of it? I feel sorry for Luna. Girl needs some happiness in her life to be sure.
And what will happen when Cadence learns of this? I worry what will happen to mother amd daughter....
Well, that goes a bit further towards explaining the years Luna spent living at the bottom of a bottle.
1221823
If I may quote a webcomic I read:
Perfect solutions only exist for perfect individuals in a perfect world. We imperfect individuals in our imperfect worlds have to make do with imperfect solutions.
First I will repeat a word from my comments last chapter... Daaaww!
Now with that out of the way. The emotional steps you show Luna cycling through are most impressive, especial that brief moment when she actually resents that the new born foal has made her happy, made her able to forget the pain of losing her own sister. It is both touching and frightening all at once.
Then there is the process by which she actually tries to reconcile what to do with Cadance, to run away and leave the nation to rot, or to force Cadance to grow up surrounded by politics and the pain of mortal loss. Which of course leads to the third and most painful choice of all.
I think you can lose that "the".
1221823
Seeing as my mother has worked in adoption law for most of my life, I could never be hard on Luna for making that hardest of choices. To choose to put the welfare of her child before her own desire to be part of that child's life. I know better than to crassly accuse her of abandonment.
1221986
Truer words could not be spoken.
i declare this chapter to be evil as it has attempted to crush my soul.
Ok, but that doesn't explain how she got all her Alicorn power back now.
I am crying both from the absolute adorableness and for Luna and Cadence's sadness
Beautiful just all of it was just Beautiful.
Luna's first reaction to foal Cadence and that entire ensuing scene was adorable and rather tragically Beautiful.
And then Luna actually taking her daughters wing and horn and Cadence's reaction, just wow that scene was incredibly immersive and heart wrenching for both of them.
And Luna's final scene, crying for wine to make it all easier, it was just
I can't wait to see if Cadence and her kingdom find out, boy will that be awkward.
Got to say having a greater insight into the power Luna and Celestia have makes them seem much more intimidating than ever before, perhaps as intimidating (in terms of powers) as Discord or at least something close to.
Though I can't blame Luna for the decision she made regardless you demonstrated her thought process and her guilt very well.
Excellent chapter all round, I'm going to go read come dines until I feel better.
This was lovely. While it seems Luna could've tried harder to come up with an alternative solution it does work quite wonderfully. Telling Cadance though...That's going to be a problem.
I am surprised that such a wealthy and more prosperous nation-state exists so close to one ruled by two literally immortal goddesses, but overall this was a very strong chapter.
1222140
Ah, the things you pick up from your parents without realizing it until much later in life.
Both of my parents are also lawyers (criminal law and civil law) and, despite the fact that I have zero interest in pursuing the profession, one of the things that always makes me want to stare at people like they're from outer space is courtroom misconduct. Especially those who seem to think it's a good idea to get on the nerves of a judge whose whole day has been spent dealing with things they'd really rather not (and hearing about what goes on in a court room I can hardly blame them) and would absolutely love any excuse to shorten their time with you.
But, yeah, picking the welfare of the child over your own need to be a part of their life has to be harder than cutting one of your own limbs off in its own way. Especially knowing that they're probably going to grow up wondering why you didn't want them.
Poor Luna didn't have any 'good' solutions, only varying degrees of 'bad' solutions as she outlined.
1221986
Ahh, Freefall. Loved it when Sam said that.
1222396
I thought it applied here just a little.
Which I couldn't agree more.
1222321
It's partially because Cavallia is so close to Equestria that it's wealthy and prosperous. In general Equestria has had a stabilizing effect on the continent as a whole, or at least to pony-nations. Celestia viewed all pony-nations as targets to be absorbed eventually (not necessarily by war, mind, and I think Mane!Celestia similarly wants to unite all pony nations under the Equestrian banner), and so worked to establish them as protecorates as a stepping-stone towards unification, while Luna, though she was more respectful of a nation's right to sovereignty, has a tendency to meddle of the affairs of her neighbors, supporting stable governments and arranging hostile nations to experience internal dissent, and also never remaining neutral in any war (as per Machiavelli's recommendations on the matter), but rather picking a side and sticking to it.
That was a beautiful chapter. All of those emotions... Wow. Mind, I don't really become sad after reading sad things anymore. Not sure why, but whatever. It was still a beautiful chapter.
1222409 Certainly an interesting choice for Luna to make, though if Cavallia truly mirrors Italy in every way other than having a very strong mob and siding with Fascists at some point, then I have to say it's a good one. Italy's a good country other than those things (and maybe a few others), and from what we can see in the later chapters Cadance was raised pretty damn well by her adopted parents.
But now the hard part: breaking all of this to Cadance. That's going to be difficult, but it's unlikely she's going to rage and destroy Canterlot. Right? Oh Luna I hope so...
1222722
Mostly I just use Italian as the basis for the language and the countryside; it's culture is probably radically different from actual Italy.
1222762 Oh. Oh well.
Wait, they at least have similar food, right? (Obviously without the meat, but still. Needs the food.)
1222773
Sure, why not.
1222795 Oh good. Now, enough relatively pointless conversationalism! You need time to write the next chapter! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Holy Luna, the D'awww from the beginning was strong enough to kill me.
1221823 Hard on Luna? I can't really blame her, for any of what she just did. It'd be worse if she had kept Cadence, having recognized the problems with doing so. As it is, she's in a bad position, keeping Cadence would have left the filly with a less-than-great upbringing, Luna recognizes this, and at the same time as feeling huge amounts of regret, goes through with what is best for her foal.
1222858
Compare/contrast Applejack when she "proved" she was worthy of the Element of Honesty. That was at least as contrived.
Part of the fun of doing an alternate universe lies in seeing the same characters through a different lens. Having said that, I agree that they've featured too prominently in our stories thus far and have been trying to convince others to cut back on them.
This is probably a consequence of wanting to deliberately reverse what happened with Twilight. Then again, give her some credit - at a glance, magic doesn't really line up with the other five Elements.
This...this I am also trying to fix. It's coming across as much darker than I had ever intended. I had originally wanted it more like The West Wing with ponies. I had imagined Luna's government as basically good. This other version has kind of just crept up on the universe. Once I get around to the Grand Galloping Gala episode, things should take a decided turn for the better.
I wanted a recurring, major villain, like Dr. Claw or Xanatos or Lord Zedd.
How could this be a bad thing?
I...don't actually get this one. What are you saying here?
*Sigh* I'm trying not to judge Luna... but that last bit? I wanna smack her now. Hard. With iron gloves. I'm not sure what else to type at the moment, but just... yeah.
1224289
She's not in the best frame of mind right now.
That was a really sad chapter
poor Luna. I hope she and Cadence end up on good term.
1224289 Yeah there's a reason why the ponies fear her sometimes :p
1222858
Well to be fair the Mane 6 are just too easy to use since we know those ponies. It's honestly a writing crutch we're all trying to free ourselves from, so I expect as we keep going they'll feature less and less in our stories.
1222245
Because Luna, despite having phenomenal cosmic power, cannot alter the very core of a pony's being.
After careful consideration, I have come up with a possible way for Luna to raise Cadence. I do not fault Luna for not thinking of this option though, as it is rather labor intensive, and politically iffy. Spend time (up to two years) structuring the government so that it can function without her, then take maternity leave for the next twenty or so.
I nearly complained about how mobile newborn Cadence was, until I realized "Duh! She's a horse"
You know who your writing style reminds me of, at least in this chapter? Upton Sinclair. Has anyone ever told you that?
1228193
No, never. Upton Sinclair? He's the author of The Jungle, right? Never read it. Closest I've come to reading anything by him is harry Turtledove's Timeline-191 series, where IIRC he becomes US president at one point. I think he's the first Socialist president? The first one following Teddy Roosevelt after the Union beat the Confederacy in the Great War.
...I like alternate history.
I'm actually kind of depressed that I've just bee compared to Sinclair after doing a quick Wiki check on him, given that Time magazine called him "a man with every gift except humor and silence."
I think I'm funny sometimes...
Naw, you misunderstand. I wasn't talking about your subject matter; I meant more in terms of the way you structure your sentences.
1228958
....so because they have what you consider to be crappy jobs they should be unhappy, and thus inferior to the mane 6?
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So wait, you don't like them because they have actual jobs and responsibilities that can't be set aside at the drop of a hat? This is a negative thing to you? Not to mention you're wrong half the time...
Yet throughout Season 1 her situation has largely improved. Granted, this is at the expense of Applejack, which is something I don't like, but the point is that by season's end she's in a much better position than when she started.
In Equestria, schoolteachers do not lead thankless jobs. It helps that she's only an elementary school teacher; the research she has to do is minimal. Further, this is Cheerilee's special talent, meaning it is by definition something she is both good at and something which makes her happy.
Trixie isn't corrupt. I think she thinks that she wanted to be corrupt, but even halfway through Season 1 has realized that it's better to make friends honestly rather than to rely on blackmail and extortion. And I don't even know how you could interpret her as bureaucratic. You also seem to be confusing things: she alienated her friends in Canterlot, but also at the time, she had no political sway because she wasn't a member of the Night Court. She remains, essentially, a blank slate as far as the Night Court is concerned, with only two notable exceptions, Greengrass and Night Light.
You're making a considerable number of assumptions about her future here.
The Maneverse ponies are nice? Are we forgetting about the ponies who laughed and cheered as Trixie showed up Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash? Are we forgetting about Bon Bon brushing aside her own neighbor Rarity like she didn't matter? Are we forgetting the complete lack of empathy of Photo Finish? Are we forgetting a horde of ponies who look at Fluttershy and see "sucker" in "Putting Your Hoof Down?" Are we forgetting the horde that literally chased Twilight through the streets for Gala tickets? Are we forgetting the ponies who seemed perfectly content to see Sweet Apple Acres go out of business as long as they got their cider?
The Maneverse ponies aren't as nice as you seem to think they are. More than a little selfishness as shined through. Now, granted, they're still, on average, nicer than humans. But I don't think we've shown the Lunaverse ponies to be significantly worse.
You're also making a bigger deal out of Ditzy's strabismus than Ditzy herself does. Ditzy kindly asks that you stop doing that. She says that she's not an invalid, she's lived with her strabismus her whole life and is quite used to it, and yes, it makes her a little clumsy, but she's known ponies with "normal" eyes who were ten times as clumsy as her.
Lyra regrets that you look at her job and somehow think that it makes her a better pony than her friends, or even a more interesting one.
Actually Cloud Kicker runs the whole operation when Rainbow Dash isn't around. Raindrops is more like the solid worker who sets a good example for the rest of the team. She is overworked and unappreciated at a regional level, but the same can be said of the entire Ponyville weather team, as well as the weather teams of any municipality that has to deal with the Everfree Forest's weather. "Carrot Top of the Line" makes it pretty clear that Rainbow Dash and Raindrops actually do have a mutual respect for one another, at least where the weather is concerned.
profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/158038_386586691406260_1780744221_q.jpg "And what do you mean I don't have any opportunity for advancement? Rainbow Dash, what's he talking about?"
images5.fanpop.com/image/user_images/4102000/-RainbowDash--4102665_50_50.png "I have no idea. I don't think that's ever been said. By anypony. Ever."
profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/158038_386586691406260_1780744221_q.jpg "So...he's making stuff up to fit his own interpretation of me?"
images5.fanpop.com/image/user_images/4102000/-RainbowDash--4102665_50_50.png "Yup. Sooner or later I'm going to get into the Wonderbolts and them BAM Cloud Kicker's in charge and you'll probably get assistant weather manager."
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Sorry. I've had a few...disapppointments...with the Lunaverse recently, and I'm not entirely sure how to handle them, so I was more defensive about it then I probably needed to be.
I agree, but in-universe this excuse doesn't exist: it's how they actually act around each other, and that needs to be reconciled. Ultimately it probably stems from the fact, though, that while I don't write with any particular age group in mind, I know that most of my audience are late teens or adults, so I don't have a need to make my ponies act more like adolescents than the adults that they're supposed to be.
Well, looking at the Mane-6 - Applejack may have a fairly stable farm, but farming is hard work that takes a lot of time, and there's only the four of them on the farm. She can't really leave it the same way Carrot Top can't. Pinkie Pie may have understanding employers, but it still fundamentally boils down to a 9-5, or possibly longer based on Sugarcube Corner's hours of operation, it could be longer, just like Ditzy Doo. Rarity is self-employed and probably works on comission; her time is as free as Lyra's. Raindrops is kept busy at the weather patrol, but do you really think Fluttershy can leave her animals alone for long? Rainbow Dash should have a fairly busy job, but she's so good at it that she can afford to take time off - Cheerilee can probably claim the same thing. And Twilight and Trixie...
...are pretty different, but that was intentional on my part.
Actually my curiosity is piqued now. How did you extrapolate "no opportunities for advancement" from what's been shown of Ponyville's weather patrol? The closest to promotions that have been brought up at all was Raindrops stating in "Boast Busted" that she wouldn't want to be weather manager.
1222245 I expect that will be answered sooner or later. My guess is Luna felt ready (well, as ready as she possibly could be in that situation.) to deal with things again and undid the enchantment.
Oh my god...what is going on? This thing...is a tear...falling from my face...
You must understand. I've read tons of fics before, both MLP and others, and not one has made me shed a single tear. Call me a hard-faced bastard if you want. But this...I don't know why...but this one has accomplished such a feat. And so, although you can't hear me, I'm clapping for you.
I can't even describe why I'm crying. It was just so beautiful. You managed to weave love, hatred, and grief all into a single chapter. And the way you portrayed Luna and Cadence's short family bonding time with each other...it was just superbly done. Tear-jerkingly so. You've both earned my respect, and my first author watch.
For some reason, I didn't even for a second think that this might be Cadence's origin. Thank you for surprising me, and doing it in such a nice way!
Please have mercy! Anything but the feels!
.....d-dammit! You turned me into a waterfall!
my eyes got moist...
and then I cracked up laughing.
I SHALL HAVE ONLY THE FINEST OF YOUR WINES! YOUR PRINCESS DEMANDS IT!
This chapter is feels stabbing.
No words, this is just DAWWWWWW! So sad and heartwarming. I love it
Wow. This was... a lot.
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Legend of King Arthur, Merlin did the same to Arthur & for about the same reason. Disney's The Sword In The Stone was less distorted than most Disney adaptations.