- Member Since 6th Sep, 2015
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
Damaskus Seraph
A Mediocre author who cant finish a story for the life of him. Also likes swords.
Damaskus Seraph
Joined 6th Sep, 2015 ·
Offline
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How far in to the future is this?
8050521 143 is the current year and the 'dissapering' happened in 12
8050592
......."help"
What is Mount and Blade Warband/Bannerlord?
8050823 a video game where you are a character in a part of the world called claradia, its basically you start out with nothing and work your way up by gathering peasants from villages into an army to either work for one of the kings of the land or becoming your own king. Its a great game. I recommend you look it up
Great story!
8051688 thank you
This need more likes.
8054636 i havent posted this story on many groups. Do you know of any that this story will be appropriate on?
8055121 not really.
is that a avatar referenc i see? Nice.
8060465 I had to
Well, I do like how you've got it going so far. A little writers tip, explain what you need to and leave the rest to be found later if you can.
As for everything else, I could recommend a little spacing, just a little and numbers (one, two, eleven, etc) Otherwise, it looks great.
8075352 thanks
Loving the fic
Keep up the good work!
8091918 thanks
Lots of errors, but otherwise good so far.
I notice a few singular I's that aren't capitalized.
Lots of missing apostrophes.
Needs proper capitalization.
I suggest you space out your paragraphs.
The writing, especially the dialogue, feels a bit clumsy and overall awkward.
I'm unfortunately even more inexperienced myself, so I've little specific advice to give, but it generally gives me the impression you haven't quite mastered the 'flow' of a story.
But you've my interest anyway, despite the flaws.