Tales From Tiny Deadpool

by ShrunkenBro

Chapter 3. A Pain In The Butt

Big Macintosh snored in his sleep. It was a peaceful sleep, despite his guest’s bizarre behavior. The stallion kept to his sleep, half covered in his blanket, and drooling a bit on his pillow as his mouth hung open, leaving a loud snore to escape out from his throat. Big Mac’s legs kicked a bit in his sleep as he turned in his sleep leaving his back exposed.

In between Big Macintosh’s butt cheeks, or, more specifically, in his buttcrack, Deadpool slept. He snuggled up on Mac’s left butt cheek, along with his unicorn plushie that was tucked under his arm, as he slept with happy grin on his face as he cuddled the enormous red cheek in his sleep. He was lucky that Mac didn't had to let out gas, or had to do his business, and go through the embarrassment. This was probably the best sleep he had. Wade practically slept like a baby.

“But babies cry a lot and poop themselves.” He corrected.

It's an expression.

“Well someone better correct that ASAP! Along with the other fake things people say!”

Aren't you suppose to be asleep?

“I was, but the next chapter started.”

Right… well, the sunlight came in and hit Big Macintosh in his eyes. He groaned as he woke up, slowly getting up, and letting out a long, deep yawn. As soon as he got up, Deadpool was crushed in between the buttcheeks and held firmly. Were it not have been the spell, Wade would've been a bloody mess, or wouldn't be able to breath.

“... Ow…”

Big Macintosh pulled the covers off him and slipped out of his bed with a thump of his hooves hitting the wooden floor. His bed head mane almost covered his eyes, reminding him he should get a haircut someday. After rubbing his eyes to get the morning goop out, he almost forgot about his guest. Big Mac sighed loudly, wishing he didn’t have to wake the odd Tiny, but it was the crack of dawn and he needed to get up.

“...So what do ya’ll want for breakf-......” Big Mac froze seeing Deadpool missing from his bowl bed. “Oh no. The little monster’s loose! Were could be?”

Big Mac sweated nervously looking under his bed and night stand not seeing any trace of the costumed Tiny. He began to worry, searching under the pillows, blankets, and mattress, but not finding him anywhere. The nervous stallion burped a bit, remembering his daughter, who he forgot to take out last night.

Big Macintosh brought his hoof to his lips and soon swallowed a gulp of air. After a few seconds, his stomach grumbled and his face swelled up. His maw opened wide, letting out a monstrous burp, sending the little girl flying out of his mouth. Thankfully, she landed in Big Mac’s grasp, albeit, a bit dazed. She looked up to see her giant Papa smiling at her.

“Morning Papa.” Claire smiled warmly, running up to her Papa’s lip chin and giving it a hug.

“Morning sugar cube.” Big Macintosh gave her a gentle kiss on the head, his enormous lip almost smothering her whole head. “Sorry I forgot to let ya out last night sweetie.”

“It’s ok Papa.I had fun with a new friend last night.” Big Mac’s eyes widen he almost turned a shade of white.

“What kind of new friend?” Big Mac asked worried he knew who she was talking about and gulped nervously.

“A weird man, I think he was a superhero” Claire rubbed her chin thinking.

“What did he do?” Big Mac asked sounding worried but angry at the same time.

“... We just had a tea party, Papa, honestly...” Claire felt a little uneasy.

“Th,.. That’s all? Just a tea party? He didn’t hurt you?... Or anything like that?”

“Nope. Just tea time with me, him and Mr. Fluffles,.... Um, where is Mr. Fluffles?” Big Mac paused for a moment.

“Oh,... Hang on.” Big Mac moved his tongue around his mouth going into his rows of teeth until he found the bunny plush toy stuck between his molars. He used his tongue, getting it out, then opened his mouth showing a soggy Mr. Fluffles.

“Thank you Papa.” Claire reached in grabbing the sloppy plush.

“So what happened to the man? Is he still in my belly?”

“Nope. When you were having a late night snack you burped us out, I went back into sleep but he stayed out.” Big Mac sighed.

“Well I’m just gonna have to find him later. I just hope he doesn't try and steal anything.” Big Mac gently placed Claire on his nose and began his walk down the stairs.

However, Deadpool felt himself being grinded in between Big Mac’s cheeks. It was painful at first, but the merc soon enjoyed it, finding it as a weird, but good feeling massage.

“Oh yeah~...” He moaned.

The cheeks pressed and smothered against his tiny form, squeezing on him and popping his back a bit. “Oh~ That got the bad kink out.” Deadpool cheered as the cheeks continued to squeeze and smother him with every step Big Mac took.

Big Macintosh entered the kitchen, setting Claire on the kitchen table and started cooking up breakfast. For her, Big Mac had cooked up a batch of pancakes. As he flipped them, letting them cook and sizzle, he looked around the kitchen, incase he were to spot Wade. “If yer around, You're gonna miss some of the flapjacks I’m making.” He called out hoping that would get his attention.

Big Mac’s mention of flapjacks made Deadpool’s eyes widen “Wait! Flapjacks? PAAAANCAKES!” Deadpool was ready to exit his cheeky home (pun intended), but unfortunately, Deadpool could not break free from tight grip of the double red cheeks. “What! No. No. No. No. NO! NO! NO!” Deadpool tried to squeeze out, the stallion’s buttcheeks kept him pressed and imprisoned.

“Dang. Thought that would work.” Big Mac snorted. He put the first pancake on a plate, lathering it with syrup and a slice of butter. He walked over to Claire, who was ready with a tuff of napkin tucked in the collar of her shirt and her tiny silverware, plate and table. Big Mac cut the pancake up into smaller slices for Claire and left the bigger half for himself.

“Mmm. These look great Papa~” Claire giggled happily.

“Eeyup.” Big Mac nodded pulling out a seat.

Still in the stallion’s crack Deadpool fought and thrashed. He put both hands on each cheek and used what strength he had and pulled the cheeks apart only a few inches apart from each other determined to for pancakes. “Almost,... Ugh!... Just gotta keep,..” Deadpool pushed trying to get loose.

Big Mac set his plate down adding a few more pancakes before finally having enough he could eat, he walked over to his seat and sat down into the wooden chair with thud.

“Ahh!.....” Deadpool was squeezed by the titanic cheeks now squishing him from all sides holding him in place. “Agh!.... My back…. My Legs… My everything.... Not sure if Gusta.”

It was only five minutes, but it felt like an eternity to the mercenary. Both Mac and Claire finished their breakfast, with some burps, leading to the stallion to stand back up and taking Claire to school.

“Ech! School…” Deadpool gagged. “I doubt the education system is better here than on earth. But who am I to judge? I’m already in a horse’s ass.”

It was quicker than breakfast, with Macintosh saying Goodbye to Claire as she went to class. He trotted on back to the farm to continue with his chores. If there's one thing Deadpool knew, it's that Big Mac is a workhorse, and not only will he be moving a lot, but he’ll also be sweating a lot.

“EWW!!! ASS SWEAT!!!” Deadpool could only get his right arm free. “Woo-hoo!!!” But it was deeper. “D’ho!”

However, Macintosh stopped as a large crowd surrounded City Hall. He was a simple stallion, not paying much attention to the world outside of the barn, but on stage was Blueblood, Celestia’s royal nephew.

“Why isn't Celestia here!?” The normally bubbly pink mare, Pinkie Pie, whined. "She's the guest of honor for the Ponyville Festival!”

“For the last time!” Blueblood yelled “She's running late! And I can't blame her for delaying her visit to you filthy peasants!” The crowd murmured in anger. “Especially to you!!!” he pointed at Macintosh.

Big Mac sweated nervously looking left and right and realized who the spoiled prince was pointing too. “Um,.....”

The prince glared at the town's folks making them all mumble words at the uptight Prince. Blueblood conjured up a hazmat suit and approached to the Apple family member.

“Ugh! Just look at him: Dirt is everywhere on him!”

Big Macintosh just rolled his eyes started to walk away, Deadpool couldn’t help but overhear the whole conversation. “Really b***h!? Why that stuck up little punk!” Deadpool managed to squeeze the cheeks out a bit and hold his left hand up to his mouth and shout. “Better be careful taking a shower! Cause with how much you hold your nose, your mouth spews out s**t!”

Big Mac, along with the whole crowd, gasped loudly, Big Mac paused almost freezing on step. He turned around to see a angry Blue Blood now face to face.

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!?”

“I,... I didn’t say,..”

“Yes you did! The whole crowd and I heard you!” Blue Blood snorted pulling up his sleeves. “So, dirt farmer, you want to fight? That’s fine with me.”

“Please. I really think you shouldn’t,..” Big Mac was suddenly caught off when the crowd started chanting his name and whistling for him to fight.

“Ah’ Come on, big brother! Teach that uptight wuss a lessth!” Applejack’s voice could be heard in the crowd. Big Mac stood, not wanting to throw one of his devastating punches. Blueblood stood on his hind legs and began to use his front hooves as fists.

“What's wrong? Chicken!?” Blueblood taunted.

“Nobody calls him chicken.” Deadpool growled. He pulled his katana out with his right hand and pointed it deeper past. Big Mac’s Butt crack. “Hope it works” He poked in deeper with his sword.

“Now, sir,” Mac spoke. “Ah don't wanna-” He felt something sharp poke in the entrance of his exit. The stallion screamed as he delivered a punch to the prince (causing him to go flying through several buildings), flinched his plot, and ran to get whatever it was in out.

Big Mac ran till he was out of sight in town hall. He reached a single tree in PonyVille park, where he backed his plot onto the tree and rubbed into it until whatever sharp it was came out. He had no luck with scooting his butt across the tree and grabbed a stick in grass, poking it between his cheeks, fishing around till he felt something and pulled it out.

Big Mac brought the stick around to see what it was and on the stick was the Tiny, Wade, who was now hanging by a rip in his suit, on by one of the limbs of the stick.

“Hi Big guy.” Deadpool waved happily at the shocked stallion. Big Macintosh’s barred his teeth and his eyes become a bright raging red steam puffed from his nostrils covering Deadpool. “Ahh. I knew you were the Armored Titan!”

“ARE YOU INSANE!?” Big Mac roared stabbing the stick in the ground with Deadpool still hanging by it.

“Um… A little yeah.”

“Now thanks to you! I could be spending the rest of my life in prison!”

“Hey. The guy insulted you first, you're fine bro.”

“I might still be trouble. And what the heck were doing back there!”

“Sleeping, duh! Who could resist sleeping in those thick, meaty butt cheeks? … I know the author can't.”

“Ugh… You're too much.” Big Mac hoof palmed himself. “You're better off on your own. I’m not getting into anymore trouble because of you.”

“Aww pwease, give me another chance.” Deadpool begged. Big Mac’s angry glare started turning to a sympathetic.

“Well…….” Big Mac lowered his muzzle down to Deadpool’s level. Deadpool reached out and squeezed his muzzle.

“Honk!”

“Nope.” Big Mac pulled away, walking around the stick so that his back was facing behind the stick. “Good luck with yourself.” Big Mac raised his back leg and with one good, buck kicked Deadpool sending him flying through the air.

“Shooting Stars!!!” Music played as Deadpool flailed around. With some really bad green screen edits, he went from flying in the air, to in space, passing Galactus from the crappy Fantastic 4 movie, passing the real galactus, passing Oatu the Watcher, flying by the twin towers, a giant dog head with human legs, up until he smacked into a wall.

“...Ow…” Deadpool went flat on impact. Deadpool grabbed the back of his head, peeling himself off the wall before falling off and hitting the ground. “...Ow..”

Deadpool pulled himself up off the ground, snapping and cracking his bones back into place. He looked around, seeing the tall cartoonish building he saw. He left a tiny human sized mark on the yellow brick wall.

“THE HORROR!” A female voice yelled out.

Deadpool turned to see he had left a dent on a daisy bending the petal “Really?” Deadpool shrugged while rolling his eyes. Looking down at the flower was a pink coat colored mare with a blond mane and tail, Deadpool pulled out one of his pistols taking shots at the daisy taking bits and pieces of the daisy apart with each shot.

“NO! NO! NO! WHY CRUEL WORLD! WHHHY!?!?!?” The mare let out a loud gasps and fell backwards into the ground with a thud.

“Well this was pointless. Or I could say…. Petal-less.” Sunglasses appeared on Deadpool’s face along with the sound of loud man shouting 'YEEEEAAAAHH!' with a guitar rift. “Alright, that’s enough of that. Now… where’s that kid? I gotta get a nice paycheck ASAP!”

Deadpool saw the fallen mare lying beside. She was still passed out. He shrugged and began his walk. Soon, loud and thundering hoof stomps alerted Deadpool of the arrival of more ponies. A orange mare with dark yellow mane and tail, along with a smaller, bright yellow one with a red mane and tail, both hovered over her, gasping in fear.

“Lily! Who could’ve done this to you?” The tan one cried out, holding the unconscious Daisy. The other pink one stopped Deadpool, scanning him.

“Hey! You um,... are you a Tiny?”

“I don’t know. Are you a giant?” He replied with a bit of sass in his tone. She was about to speak. “Ah! Don’t answer that! Rhetorical question, Daisy.”

The mare looked confused. Her eyebrow raised up, staring down at him. shivered, shaking her hoof slowly.

“Lily! Lily! Speak to me! What happened!?” The orange one shook her limp body.

“You do know you can just say their names, right, author?” Deadpool asked. Lily slowly pointed her hoof at Deadpool.

I forgot their names, ok!? They're background characters. I don’t pay much attention to them.

“RACIST!!!”

Don’t start that!

“It's true! You Species-ist!”

Ok fine. Wanna play that!? We’ll play that.

Soon the two mares stared down at Deadpool with fiery flares burning in their eyes. Their cute, cartoonish faces turned into a wrinkled angry frown. Their perfect white teeth grinned each other as they shot daggers at the tiny Anit-Hero, their massive faces now made Deadpool feel even more smaller than before.

“... Wait! I’m a friend to Big Mac!” He pleaded, getting onto his knees “I was with him last night and a bit today! PLEEESE!!! Don’t hurt me!!!”

You brought this on yourself.

“Sexist! He only likes males!!” The orange one yelled.

“How would you know that?” Deadpool asked “Did you even ask who he was in to? Or at least, stalk him enough? Like the main singer of Maroon 5 when he made Animals?”

“We know him more than you do, freak!” Roseluck growled. The two mares got into a pouncing position, ready to take the Merc down. However, he grabbed a flower and held a knife to it’s ‘neck’.

“Back off! Both of you! Or else this flower gets it!”

“Y,.. YOU MONSTER!” Lily quickly snapped awake, holding out her hoof at Deadpool, looking shocked. He backed away, but looked around crazily.

“Oh, we can do this peacefully! You all back off, or this flower fails to see a couple’s dinner table!” Deadpool kept walking backwards suddenly it started moving?

The flower’s head turned around its ‘face’, now facing Deadpool. It had black eyes with white pupils, with a mouth suddenly appearing and smiled disturbingly.

“When did I land in Alice in Wonderland? … Or Tim Burton’s Grown Up Alice returns to Underland?" Deadpool asked himself

“Hi,.... There,.... I’m,... Flowey,... The Friendly,.... Flower.” It smiled widely along with a few cracking and snapping sounds.

“KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!” He screamed, throwing the flower to the floor and pulling a flamethrower out, burning it to a crisp. The flower, and the mares, screamed their heads off. They all fainted. “... Why did you have to add Undertale to this? We get it, you’re a huge Undertale fan, but that game’s been dead after 2015!”

Because I can. So there.

“... Eh, fair enough.” He threw the flamethrower down and ran away from the ‘crime scene’. “Now where’s that kid!? I’m getting distracted with all this stuff! What’s next? Ness from Earthbound arriving?”

As Deadpool ran he spotted a pony with a pink coat and a white mane walking to the market place and on her back was a boy where a baseball cap and wearing a blue and yellow T-Shirt, and on his back was a backpack and baseball bat.

“Dude,..... Really?”

I AM GOD!

“A god of losers.” An anvil fell on his head. “... ow… look, I know we got on the wrong foot, but can we at LEAST work together to get that kid? I need details on what he looks like… and I apologize if I assumed their gender.”

Well, alright, since it’s a kid involved. As long as Death Stroke doesn't find him hopefully he’ll be fine.

“Knowing you, you’ll probably have unfunny me take him away as soon as I’m close.”

Hey, unlike you, he’s not my meat puppet. I can’t control him.

“That’s the biggest lie since Obama said he’ll bring change.”

Hey! You really think I can control him I have problems just telling you what to do.

“Except I can choose to ignore them or not. But we’re getting a distracted here; that kid and Deathstroke are out there, and I’ve got the strangest feeling that I’m gonna get eaten any second now!”

Deadpool suddenly felt the ground shake. The tiniest pebbles bounced up and down as the earth around him trembled, he looks up to see the flower mares charging right for him, all of them fuming with rage. Deadpool screamed, running away as some guy gave him a motivational speech.

Deadpool screamed, flailing his arms wildly as the giants chased after him. Roseluck leaned her head down sapping her jaws at him, just missing his butt.

“AHHHHH!” Deadpool held his hands up to his face and let out a girly scream.

The raging mares snapped at Deadpool and slammed their hooves down at him, attempting to squish him, just missing him by an inch. Deadpool reached into his pocket looking for something. Anything! He pulled out two smoke bombs.

“Ah ha! DISTRACTION!!!” He threw the two at Lily and Daisy’s faces. Both of their faces were covered in a bright colored smoke. They stopped and coughed at the smoke. However, Roseluck stomped onto Deadpool, pinning him to the ground. She breathed heavily.

“Well… what… do you… have to say?”

“... Uh… Oh! I was in Big Mac’s butt!”

Roseluck paused. Her angry face disappeared, being replaced with a dumbfounded shocked look. She stared down at Deadpool for a minute, lifting her hoof she walked backwards her face blushing red.

“Oh yeah! I was in between his buttcheeks! If you’re thinking of eating me, then you’re also eating Big Mac’s ass! … Something that, if I were normal sized, and if he didn’t have Claire… and if this was M-rated, then I’d do that in a pinch! Or… Yo! Readers! Make a fic where I eat Big Mac’s booty like groceries! Just e-mail it to me at-”

Roseluck just gagged at the Tiny in full disgust. She looked as if she was about to vomit.

“You know wha,... *GAG* …. I’m not… *Cough* that… hungry.”

“Ooh! I also got pictures!” He pulled out a photo, which had Deadpool talking a selfie right between Big Mac’s cheeks. “Oh man, it was SO soft in there! Like, you wouldn’t believe how soft it was! It was like being gently crushed by two of the most softest beds you’ve ever been in, and-”

Roseluck screamed and ran away. He blinked. Some of the other mares and stallions around stared, most with disgusted looks, and others looking like they were gonna puke.

“... What? Is it wrong for a guy to have a man crush?" He asked, standing back up. “Now! To find someone who can help!” His sight immediately caught sight of a certain purple alicorn, reading a book of some sort. “A-ha! Purple smart! She and her friends can help!" He ran over to her, but jumped into her tail, vanishing from the crowd.

Twilight returned with a book about teleportations and various dimensions. While a good majority was useful, none of it was helpful with finding the Tinies a way back to their world. Yet, despite the near impossible odds, she wasn’t quite ready to give up on how the humans can get back to their world, and possibly have Equestria visit them. Turns out, trying to find their world will probably require all of Equestria’s most powerful unicorns and alicorns, but it may still not be enough. She entered her castle, where a good four of her friends were present; Pinkie Pie made herself a house of cards, Applejack had herself an apple, Rarity knitted a small dress in her magic, and Fluttershy cooed the boy that Twilight and Starlight had with them. Spike, Twilight’s assistant, and baby dragon, arrived with a list, followed by Starlight.

“Ok,” he spoke. “So are you sure it’s not some sort of brain thing?”

“Spike, we’ve been over this!” Starlight exasperated “There’s nothing wrong with Cody!”

“And are you sure it may be because of Stacy?”

“We’ve been over this already! Until we find another ‘horse’ that came from their world and became a pony like us, it’s the most likely thing to get the Tinies back to their home.”

“And how many tests have you done?” Starlight glared at him. “... Ok! I’m just asking.”

“Th-this isn’t gonna hurt? Cody asked.

“Not in the slightest!” Twilight reassured, lowering her book. “Now, where’s your friend, Cody?”

“Right here!” Another voice spoke. The door to the house of cards opened and out came another boy. “Whew! Who knew a bed of cards was so refreshing?”

“Of course it wouldn’t be, silly!” Pinkie replied “That’s why I used marshmallows!”

“Hold up!” Deadpool’s voice broke through. “2 kids named Cody!? HUZZAH!!! THE CODYS HAVE BEEN DOUBLED!!!”

“... What was that?” Applejack asked. Her hat was lifted as Deadpool was on her mane.

“That would be me, Applejacks-doesn’t-taste-like-apples cereal.” He teleported away.

“Say wha-?” Applejack asked, completely dumbfounded. The house of cards fell down as Deadpool kicked the door down.

“Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me, I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed!”

“Ooh! I love that song!” Pinkie cheered. “Although, I find it very funny that it became popular with Shrek and not the movie it was made for, Mystery Men.”

“Oooo~ I’ve seen that movie too.” Cody shouted out randomly. “My mom always told me to where layers in winter because of that.” Deadpool appeared next to him, wearing the ears of the famous ogre.

“Ogres have layers.” He spoke in a scottish accent.

“... What is happening?” Starlight asked, confused at the sight. “Is that tiny teleporting everywhere?” Deadpool appeared on her muzzle.

“You bet on it, whiney girl.”

“... Whiney!?” He teleported onto her mane.

“My boyfriend left because he got his butt tattoo, so I want everyone to be equal!” He put on a Soviet Commander hat with a thick mustache.
“Равенство будет процветать!!!”

“Wow, that sounds like a super villain.” Cody said while looking at a comic book he somehow had in his hand. Deadpool teleported back to him, back to his normal outfit.

“You bet on it. But, it seems that trying to take over the world by causing a time travel rift gets you off easily with the only consequence being that you get advance your education via friendship.” Both Twilight and Starlight stared, completely lost in translation.

“... Um… why are you here?” Fluttershy asked.

“Oh! That’s easy!” He grabbed both Codys. “I’m in search of a lost boy! He’s a huge fan of me, and I get to become stinking rich while doing the technical right thing! And, if my guess is right… his name is also Cody.” Everypony stared at him.

“... Ooh! I think I know where to find him!” Pinkie spoke, waving her hooves.

“You do!”

“Yeah! The next scream that yells ‘Why are you doing this, Rainbow Dash!?’.”

“Really? When’s that gonna happen?”

“Why are you doing this, Rainbow Dash!?” The screaming voice of a boy yelled in fear.

“... Oh. ...Well, thanks!”[/color ]He ran through a window, making a perfect silhouette of his body like a cartoon character.

“Aw… now I wanna be a main character.” Pinkie groaned.

“Maybe next time Pinks!”

Deadpool landed outside of the castle, with a few shards sticking out of him. He brushed the remaining shards off his body, looking around for the source of the screaming.

Deadpool jumped, seeing Rainbow Dash chasing a boy. She was gaining on him, snapping at him with her huge teeth, almost snatching him out with one bite.

“Hey! Stop!!!” Deadpool ran, then teleported next to the kid. Deadpool reached out trying to grab him by the collar as Rainbow Dash’s wide open maw overshadowed them. Deadpool snatched him up and teleported, leaving Rainbow Dash to snap her jaws down into thin air and crash into a nearby pole. The two landed on a nearby rooftop. Wade did a superhero pose.

“Another child has been saved!” He spoke in a stereotypical, heroic voice.

“WH,...” The kid looked over at Deadpool in shock. “YO,.. YOU?”

“Yes… me… you.”

“DE- Deadpool!” The kid managed. “Are you real?”

“As real as your name is Cody!... Am I right?”

“How,... Um,. Yes,...” Cody managed to say

“I knew it! I'm the best! Gimme 5, man!” He extended his hand out, offering a high five to Cody.

Cody gave Deadpool his five, still in total disbelief.

“There we go! Now to get you back home to your family!” Deadpool was about to use his teleportor when a sudden blast of wind caught both Deadpool and Cody off guard. Standing above them was Rainbow Dash looking down at them.

“Alright then!” She spoke with a hungry smile. “Looks like I'm having 2 Tinies for the price of one!”

“... I was in Big Mac's butt.” Deadpool spoke. “So eating me is the same as eating Big Mac's Ass.”

“Eh. Any Tiny will say anything to keep me from eating them.”

“... Alright, only one thing to do.” He pulled out a banana. “DISTRACTION!!!” He threw the banana, which only landed a few feet from Rainbow Dash. She looked confused at the banana.

“... Uh… what the heck is that-” She looked up, seeing that they were gone. “... Hey! No fair!”

Somewhere near another building, a flash of light dropped Deadpool and kid beside a half eaten apple in the alley way, they both crashed into the ground with a thud.

“Ah man. I always wanted to meet Rainbow Dash, I never thought the first time I met her she’d try to kill me.” Cody said, looking confused as he got up.

[color=#be4343"]Eh. It happens. I met Big Macintosh, got eaten by him, and got between his buttcheeks.”

“W-what!? Y-you were-?”

“Yep! Why else do I smell so salty?” Cody turned green, wanting to turn and throw up. “Hey! He didn’t fart on me! Or had to do his business… or even on me, I didn’t go TOO far.”

“Ok… that’s enough.”

“Fair enough. Now come on! We need to get you home and end this fic early! Unless the author, Cody, wants to add something to this.”

“A-Are you doing that thing where you talk to things that aren't there?” Cody asked while watching Deadpool.

“.....Uh….”

“It’s ok. I think it’s funny when you talk to yourself. I do that all the time.”

“You got a lot to learn kiddo.” Deadpool gave Cody a pat on the back. Deadpool raised up his wrist ready to teleport himself and Cody. He pressed the button making it beep.

A portal appeared, and soon, an image of a playground appeared. Deadpool smiled happily ready to walk through….

The portal suddenly glitched out of existence, vanishing from sight in a zap and pop. Deadpool’s eyes widened, a huge frown could be seen through his mask, Cody stood behind him unsure of what just happened.

“What the f**k!?” Deadpool swore with the bleep in motion. “Why did this break all of a sudden!?”

“....Wha,....?”

“My teleporter! It’s like those ones Portals from Stargate! It was working just fine! Why now?!”

“... Maybe you were using it too much?” Cody shyly spoke.

“....Y,.... Well... I was just teleporting a lot.” Deadpool raised his wrist up looking at the mobile teleporter its lights were off and it was smoking.

“Or it’s just easy to destroy.” The familiar voice of Slade spoke. Deadpool looked up, only to get a hard kick to his face, knocking him down.

Oh $&%#

“OH! NOW YOU SHOW UP!?!?!?” Deadpool yelled at the author.

Slade clicked his sniper rifle aiming it at Deadpool’s head. Deadpool quickly pulled out another gadget clicking it and out came a bright blue holographic shield with Captain America’s symbol on it.

Slade fired his rifle, but to which the holographic shield was easily able to make it bounce off and hit the nearby wall instead.

“Thank you, Steve Jr.” Deadpool spoke, throwing the shield at Slade. It knocked his opponent to the floor below

“Whoa!” Cody yelled hiding behind Deadpool. “Deathstroke?!”

“Yeah. But he’s not having a stroke.”

Ba-Dum-Crash!

Deadpool and Deathstoke looked up, seeing a running pony stomping their way, Deadpool quickly dashed at Slade while he was distracted punching him in the gut and bashed the shield into his chin and then quickly tossed Slade into the ground near to the running pony’s hooves.

With a loud BOOM!, Slade was stomped down into the muddy ground by the giant hoof, and was picked up, sticking to the bottom of the hoof.

“That was aweso-” Cody was about to yell with excitement only to be picked up by Deadpool running to a nearby dumpster dodging the pony’s hooves.

“That won’t stop him for long. Let’s go!”

The pony that stepped on Slade was none other than Ponyville’s local teacher, Ms. Cheerilee. She was on her way, returning to school with a few new books that she’d use to teach the foals. However, she stopped as she felt something stuck in her hooves. All she did was shrug, figuring it was just another pebble. However, she gasped when she saw a tiny in armor was stuck underneath her left front hoof.

“Oh my! I-I’m so sorry!” She pleaded. “I didn’t see you there Mr…”

“I,.. Don’t ,... Have,.. Time,... For this!” Slade peeled himself off the frog of her hoof, flopping to the ground. Cheerilee picked him back up.

“Oh, but I must apologize to you! Ooh! I can make you dinner for tonight! Pea Soup sound good?”

“Stop talking,... To me,.. Beast,...” Slade tried moving but couldn’t.

“Oh, I insist.” Cheerilee smiled opening her saddle bag and dropping Slade inside. The cheerful mare smiled patting the bag and walking off to go to her house. Deadpool inspected it through his binoculars.

“D’aww… a very angry midget is going to be great friends with the local teacher.” He spoke.

“Is the coast clear?” Cody asked staying close to the wall.

“Yeah where safe, no need to find bud.” Deadpool smiled putting away his binoculars. Cody walked out beside him, looking up, seeing all the giant ponies around them.

“Wow. You know, I always thought they would be the size of real horses. Not giants!” Cody said in nervous ton.

“Eh, this is an unofficial crossover to MrAquino’s Tales from Tinies fanfic on Fimfiction.Net.” He spoke, sounding like a robot to my friend’s username to the end, as I’m totally not trying to get you guys to read my friend’s fic.

“.....Huh?.. I feel like I’m going to go cross eyed.” Cody said looking absolutely confused.

“This is why you don’t sell yourself out.”

“It's a bad idea anyway. You're pretty much selling your soul.” Cody added in.

“But I’m a ginger!”

Bum-bum-buuum!!!

Both the tiny humans felt the ground shake and suddenly stop they could see a shadow looming over them.

“Deadpool. I’m afraid to turn around.”

“Oh don’t worry, me too.”

Deadpool and Cody slowly turned around, only to be meet with the angry face of Rainbow Dash.

“Well... I’ll see that in my nightmares.” Cody’s eyes widened as he shook instance

“Me too.” Deadpool simply added.

“Alright then…” Rainbow huffed. “No more games! Mr. Stomach is long overdue with a date with one of you 2.”

“What do we do now!?” Cody asked, backing away.

“Easy.” Deadpool grabbed Cody and threw him away! He turned to Rainbow Dash. “Come on! Do it! Do it! I’m open!”

Ooooo a Predator reference.

“With a pinch of Men in Black.” He jumped up and down. “Right here! Eat me! EAT ME!!!”

“D-Deadpool no!” Cody begged from a distance.

Rainbow Dash smiled evilly, getting in a pouncing position. Her teeth bared as she smiled. She ran for Deadpool, opening her maw wide. Deadpool, somehow, was blindfolded and had a lit cigarette in his mouth.

CHOMP!!!

The tiny mercenary was tossed around the mare’s mouth, who murred at his taste, but stop as he tasted pretty salty.

Ugh! Did he even wash his clothes?

“Nope!” Deadpool spoke. Rainbow stopped. “Yeah, I’ve been wearing this outfit for about… three days in a row now. Plus, like I said, I was in Big Mac’s butt last night. Man! Looking back at it, that was the best sleep I’ve ever had! No exaggeration either! It was the perfect mix between softness, and firmness, keeping me in place, as he-”

“BLECH!!!” Dash spat him out, wiping the tatse off her tongue. “EW! EWW!!! Mac sweat!!!”

“Mac butt sweat, to be exact!”

“AHH!!!” She turned and flew away.

“... Huh… I guess she is a lesbian.” Deadpool turned to Cody who was watching looking dumbfounded, then later on turned red trying to hold in a laugh.

“Pfffff,...Hahahahaha!” Cody laughed rolling on his back. “Oh man. It’s good to laugh.”

“It’s always better instead of being miserable for all your life.”

“Yeah! I can’t believe she didn’t believe you at first! I thought you were a goner!”

“Eh, I would’ve find a way out. Perhaps nothing she’d like… do they have buttholes? 2016 was the year where animated character had buttholes, so I figured they’d get one themselves.”

“Uh,... I have no idea.” Cody felt a little uneasy about that comment and tried not to think about.

“Eh, whatevs. But I got a feeling we’re gonna be here for a while. Hm… I wonder how Twilight would feel about having another Cody in her castle?”

“Huh?... I’m really confused.”

“Princess Twilight! She has two other kids, also named Cody, living with her in the castle. … Sheesh, was the naming generator that lazy when they wrote their names for those chapters?"

“I’ve kinda always wanted to change my name. Cody’s such an average name.”

“Oh, and what would you call yourself? Codesque? Coachella? Cod?”

“Um no, maybe something that doesn't sound lazy… or… racist.”

“... See what you did, Tumblr!? You made this kid PC!!! Now they’re gonna say they sexually identify themselves as an attack helicopter!”

“I don’t use Tumblr,... My sister told me to stay away from that site.” Deadpool patted his head.

“Good boy… or girl… or attack helicopter.”

“Pffff,... Hahaha.” Cody laughed. “I think I’ll just stay a boy.”

“Good!” Deadpool patted his head again. “NOW!...... How to survive without getting you snatched up by the giant ponies?”

“Oh wow! Another one!” A boy’s voice spoke from above. Deadpool was picked up by a light brownish red colt wearing a swirl propeller hat on his head. He brought Deadpool to his face, smiling innocently at him. “Whoa you're a cool looking one!”

“Uh… thanks?” Deadpool replied.

“I gotta take you back home! You and your brother will have great adventures together!”

“... Brother!?” He was taken away by the colt, Button Mash.

“DEADPOOL!” Cody chased after the colt grabbing onto the back of his leg making the colt stop and turn around seeing Cody on his back leg.

“Hey! He’s mine! I found him first!” Button gently kicked him off, making Cody fall into the mud.

“Please,... d-don’t go!” Cody kept running, trying to stop him. Button Mash looked down at him, snatching him up. “Please he’s my friend don’t take him away!”

“No!” He dropped Cody onto a bush’s branch. “He’s mine! Go find your own!”

"Why you little-!” Deadpool swore, but had his breath taken away as Button ran from the scene. Cody stared, boggled at what just happened, and unknowing what to do. He cowered as a pony passed by, unknowing if they saw him, and if he was going to be eaten himself.

Cody huddled up holding his knees togther as he sat on the branch, he watched all the ponies walking by, feeling frightened for his life. He jumped when the bush suddenly shook knocking him loose. Cody grabbed the branch, some of the ponies brushed up against the bush when they walked by. Time seemed to pass, and soon, his eyes became heavy. Without fighting it, he fell asleep, right near the trunk of the bush, with two of the branches acting as his support.

Cody soon felt himself being lifted, almost like nothing had a hold of him. The sudden movement alarmed him to wake up as he saw the stick was moving past him and soon, he found himself floating out of the bush all he saw was the clear night sky and a figure that appeared in the moonlight. Underneath the moonlight was the princess of the night herself, Princess Luna; her dark blue fur seemed to glow, and her mane was almost invisible to the sky. She gently placed her left hoof over his mouth, followed by a soothing shush.

“Do not worry.” She cooed in a very loving, motherly voice. “You’re safe with me.” Despite her size, easily towering his, and most of the other ponies, he couldn’t help but smile, feeling safe with her… that is, until she licked her lips.

“W-what are you doing?” He asked, a bit unsure as to what she was going to do.

“Doing what I always do with my subjects. Keep them safe within me.”

“W-within? L-like-?” Luna opened her mouth wide, letting out a noticeable ‘aww!’ sound. Cody was facing down into Luna’s own mouth, seeing the thick webs of saliva around her thick tongue, equally huge teeth, all going down into the abyss that was her throat. He began to flail around. “W-wait! Don’t do this! Luna!!!” The force around him stopped. Gravity took over and he fell into her mouth. “LUNAAA!!!” She closed her mouth as soon as he fell in. With no hesitation, she flicked her head back and swallowed Cody.

GLURK!

She moaned as she felt him land in her belly. With a flap of her wings, she flew into the sky to look for more lost kids, both to satisfy her hunger, and to keep them safe until their families arrived.

Author's Note:

Boy been a few months.

Crist took you long enough dude.

So yeah the reason this chapter and many of the coming chapters of my uncompleted Fics is because I'm having some computer issues so yeah technical difficulties I just hope everybody enjoys this chapter. And have a good day. Bye~

We love you!

Deadpool get out here!

Comments

[ShrunkenBro]

8121983 And she has a salty personality. Eh? Eh? Eh?