Hate Me

by Vynce

Chapter 2: Enmity

With a flash of white magic they had arrived on the edge of Ponyville. The sun was burning in the center of the sky, but the light wind was just enough to keep the heat from becoming overbearing. They started their walk into town, all eyes they passed focused instantly on the royalty walking through the streets.

Discord was amused to see the mixed reactions coming from all of the ponies in Ponyville. Their admiration and respect when they saw Celestia, suddenly transformed to a palpable fear and hate when they noticed him walking a few paces behind her, carrying the limp Twilight in his arms. A couple of the more dramatic ponies even went from a bow to a jumping shriek before they vanished into the nearest building.

It’s good to see I still have so many fans.

They finally arrived at the treehouse library, and Discord watched as Celestia stepped inside through the doorway. He stood there staring at the now empty entrance, not entirely sure why he wasn’t following her through.

What am I waiting for? Go inside now.

No… I’m doing this all wrong. I need her to hate me, why am I complying so easily?

It’s not so easy to go along with a plan that hurts so much, but it’s what needs to be done.

What if I fail? What if I can’t get her to hate me? What if despite what I’ve done to myself to achieve this goal… what if it doesn’t work?

Any further arguments with himself were cut short when Celestia stepped out from the library. “I can’t leave you out here alone, Discord. Come in, now.” Her face looked slightly annoyed, but it showed none of the anger that it had earlier. It was strangely content.

I’m failing myself. I’m failing her.

Discord finally decided to follow the alicorn inside, shutting the door behind him with his tail. Celestia was already browsing the books one by one, magicking them down and flipping the pages briefly before closing them and gently placing them back.

“What are you expecting to find in those books, Celestia? It’s highly unlikely that a book is what managed to put her in this state,” Discord said briefly as he walked across the room to the stairs on the other side, eager to put down the heavy pony load that Celestia demanded he carry.

She stopped flipping through the book she had in front of her. The faintest chuckle escaped her lips as she turned to face Discord. “You obviously don’t know her. She takes her books as seriously as she takes anypony. I have no doubt that if what you say is true, any of her books could have been what caused her sudden… change,” she shifted and paused before she spoke the last word, as though saying it would somehow make the situation worse.

Discord let Celestia return to flipping through the books as he started up the stairs toward Twilight’s room. He had to duck under the pony-sized entrance before making his way to the bed that was against the wall on the far side of the room. He stood at the edge of the bed with Twilight still in his arms, having another mental bout with himself.

You’re doing it again.

Doing what?

Being kind.

So?

Kindness is weakness.

He ignored his own head, unable to eliminate the thoughts despite his best efforts. He chose instead to ignore them, and continued to lay Twilight into her bed. He covered the gray unicorn with a blanket and stepped out of the room, heading down the stairs to see if Celestia had made any progress with whatever it was she was hoping to accomplish with the books.

Celestia was still looking through book after book, nothing but determination on her face. She had obviously gone through hundreds of books, and she wasn’t showing the slightest sign of slowing down or wearing out. Discord slowly moved over near Celestia and began going through the books in a similar manner, taking them down and flipping through the pages, then placing them back on the shelf.

You’re still helping her. Stop. For your own good, stop.

What would stopping do to help me?

Have you forgotten your goals? Have you forgotten that you need her to hate you?

No.

Then why are you helping her?

Because it hurts to say ‘no’.

Then let me do it.

Discord stopped working, frozen midway through the pages of a book. Then let me do it. How would that work? If he couldn’t do it, how would a voice in his head have any better luck? He was standing there pondering this for a few minutes before he noticed Celestia had stopped as well, looking at him quizzically.

Give me control.

Give who control?

Don’t act like you don’t know who I am.

I thought you were just my conflicting thoughts, but I can see that you’re not. Who are you?

I am you.

If you were me then you would already have what you want.

But you don’t have what you want, so why would I?

He continued standing there silent, Celestia was still looking at him. After a few minutes had passed, the princess’ face changed to one of worry. Discord isn’t the silent type, and if he was having problems then it was a problem for everyone. Discord isn’t one to be taken lightly, no matter how light his personality is.

“Discord?” She finally broke the silence, just hoping to snap the draconequus out of whatever state he was in. When he didn’t respond her worry turned to pure fear. In the thousands of years she had known him he had never once ignored her, and it scared her to think why he would start. “Discord, what’s the matter?”

Keep ignoring her. Let her fear feed her hatred.

“I’m fine, Celestia, keep reading,” Discord finally responded, none of his regular enthusiasm or giddiness present in his voice. He placed the book back on the shelf and walked over to a chair in the middle of the room, and sat with a huff. “I’m thinking.”

Celestia watched him as he stared at his hands. She feared that if she didn’t get his spirits high again, he might do something terrible. A god of chaos was bad enough, but if he was angry or depressed then there’s no telling what he could do. For the good of the world she put on a smile, and reached for a particular book that she had flipped through moments before in her search.

Discord noticed as walked over to him, wearing a particularly devious smile on her face. He just looked at her without turning his head, watching as she sat next to him and readied whatever it was she planned to say. She looked as nervous as she was happy, what could be causing that?

“Discord…” she started, and then looked down at the floor. She obviously didn’t want to spit it out. She fidgeted for a moment; apparently she wasn’t caring much about her regal image at the moment. After a few awkward seconds she began again, “Discord, did you know that I wrote a book about you?”

Discord’s eyes went wide with surprise. His heart beat as though it wanted to escape from his chest. “Really? And what might that book be about?” He questioned cautiously. Despite the fact that he knew it couldn’t be anything good, he was happy to know that she had obviously thought about him quite a bit in order to write an entire book.

You realize this can’t turn out well. If it’s a good book then that means she doesn’t hate you, if it’s a bad book then you know it’s going to hurt to hear it. Let me take the blow, let me help you. Just give me control…

For the first time since it had began, Discord was able to completely push the voice from his mind. He ignored it with entirely, and suddenly found himself filled with the anticipation and excitement of a foal in a candy store. Of course he wouldn’t let this show, he was a master at hiding his emotions, so Celestia knew nothing of the joy hidden behind his yellow eyes.

“Well…” she began with a smile. She had obviously gotten over the nervousness of starting the conversation itself. She still paused, but this time it seemed more of a pause-for-effect than a nervous stop. “It’s about some of your more chaotic exploits.”

Oh… It’s a bad book…

He didn’t know why he was so disappointed. If she had written a good book about him then it would only make it harder to do what he needed to do. But if it was a bad book, why was she smiling like that?

“So why would you write a book about them, why not just leave that to the historians who usually write about that kind of stuff?” His words had put Celestia back into the nervous state. She had obviously expected him to respond differently, but he had asked the question and now he wanted an answer.

She looked back down and pawed the floor for a moment. When her head came back to level with Discord’s, she was biting her lip. “They wrote theirs, too,” she said before she stood and took a step toward Discord. “This Is just a list of personal favorites.” her smile was in danger of splitting her face in two.

Discord sat for a moment, completely stunned. He had nothing to say, even his thoughts couldn’t complete coherent sentences. He sat motionless for a moment staring at Celestia. Her smile hadn’t waivered, and it became clear that he might not be hiding his emotions so well this time. He smiled back, just as sly and mischievous as it always was. “I knew you liked me,” He joked.

You shouldn’t have said that.

Why not?

Because, what if she does? How much will it hurt to change her mind then?

Oh…

“I do not,” Celestia said, following along in the playful tone that had comfortably taken over as the mood for their conversation. “I just don’t hate everything you’ve done.”

“So, you’re obviously a fan of my work. You can’t deny that anymore. Let’s read this book of yours.” He snatched the book from her magical grasp and stood from his chair. “I’m going to sit somewhere a little more comfortable,” he announced before walking across the room and sitting on a cushion in front of a burning fireplace.

“I don’t remember that being here,” she noted, looking at the fireplace that wasn’t present in the room before. “You’re not trying to make this a romantic thing, are you?” she had grown rather fond of poking fun at Discord, it had been thousands of years since she was in company that she could joke around with.

“You’re making even more jokes than me, Celestia. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, you know,” he returned quickly, flashing her a smirk. “But no I am not, I’m simply getting comfortable and you’re welcome to join.”

After an awkward sounding giggle, Celestia walked over and sat opposite him near the fireplace. Discord opened the book to the first chapter and readjusted his position in the cushions to be more comfortable. He cleared his throat, very audibly, and with one last glance at Celestia to see that she was comfortable, he began to read the book aloud.

They spent a few hours laughing at some of Discord’s finest works. Reminiscing on the ‘good ol’ days’ when Discord would cause a catastrophe, and Celestia would stop him. Apparently Celestia had thought it was as much fun as Discord did.

She only stopped you because you let her.

Discord wasn’t letting his thoughts get to him. They had been popping up all night, but he was so happy that it wasn’t a problem to completely ignore them. When the book had finally finished, though, he couldn’t ignore them anymore. He closed the book, still laughing with Celestia at the final nostalgic entry, and set it on the nightstand that had magically appeared next to him.

You’re burying yourself deeper.

Finally he was forced to yet again succumb to the nagging voice that had battered at his mind.

Then what do you suppose I do?

I’ll do it for you. Just let me help you.

No.

Fine.

“That book was terrible,” He said, causing the laughter to stop and the room to enter dead silence.

Why did you do that? HOW did you do that!?

Think of it as a warning.

Celestia looked at him for a moment in silence. “It was my first and only attempt at writing anything of this sort. Let’s see you do better,” she replied in mock defense.

You’re lucky she took it as a joke.

Lucky? What might you do to me, then, hmm?

Discord just smiled at Celestia, between the war in his head and the light and happy mood of the room his confusion was putting a damper on his regularly witty behavior. He was starting to fear the voice. He knew that to overcome it, he would have to find out what exactly it was, and why it was bothering him. So with a sigh, he laid back in his cushions, resting his head on his arms. He welcomed the following silence, it would give him a chance to interrogate himself.

Tell me how you did it.

A magician never reveals his secrets.

So you’re a magician?

The voice laughed a little, causing Discord to shift uncomfortably. It was a scary and creepy laugh. Not because of how cold it was, not because it was so calm and confident. It was scary because it was Discord’s laugh.

I dabble in magic every once in a while, but I have more power than I’ll let anyone see.

You’re a magical being, then. Why are you bothering me?

I’m not bothering you, I’m helping you. I’m doing for you what you can’t do for yourself.

I don’t want your help.

Really? Then why did you create me…

Discord was suddenly stricken with fear at the realization. He knew he had created it, but until now he at least had the luxury of doubting it. He knew that the voice wasn’t lying. He knew he made it from necessity to do what he had been trying and failing at for so long. He created it as an emotional barrier, to take the pain of hatred from the one mare he loved.

The voice was laughing again. Discord felt a tear streaming down the side of his face as he realized that he created a monster because he was weak, and there was no telling how horrible the monster could become. He looked over to see that Celestia had fallen asleep at some point during his internal ramblings. He smiled at her before turning to face the bare ceiling once again, and closed his eyes.

Dry those tears, now. There’s no reason to cry, I’m here to help you.

What if I don’t let you?

I’m afraid you no longer have a choice.

So who are you, really?

I am your shield. The animosity you need in order to take the pain you don’t want to endure. Give yourself to me and you won’t have to worry about failure or regret. I’ll do it for you. As for my name…

The voice cackled, sending a shiver down Discord’s entire body.

You can call me Animos.

Comments

[Vynce]

Ridiculous amounts of talking and thinking in this one! Sorry for the lack of funny, too. Let me know what you think?

[Chaotic Discord]

I like this. Keep up the good work!

[Iamsorry]

wow what a great start! X3

[Vynce]

901747
904256
904391

Why thank you. It's good to get some feedback.

The next chapter might be a little delayed, swamped with college this weekend so I'm not getting much time for writing at all. Apologies to everyone who wants to see chapter 3 sooner than later.

I've added the Twilight Sparkle character tag as well, gonna put her in bigger shoes than I had previously planned.

[Delusional Brony]

Now that I think about it, it's kinda hard to picture Discord without a voice in his head.

[Vynce]

909269

Is that a compliment? I think it's a compliment but I'm pretty tired right now so I can't be sure.
If it's a compliment; Thank you very much.
If not; Is there anything you think I could do to improve?
If it was neither and it was just your 2 cents; I think I agree.

(I'm gonna have to read this all again when I wake up and laugh at myself)

[Delusional Brony]

909302 I meant it as a...
um...
...
darn, I forgot.
Let's just say compliment.

[Delusional Brony]

an·i·mos·i·ty:
a feeling of strong dislike, ill will, or enmity that tends to display itself in action: a deep-seated animosity between two sisters; animosity against one's neighbor.

For those of you that want to know.

[Sixpack]

Looks promising.

[Crooked Djinn]

Discord and Celestia is best ship by far, and this is amazing.

[Alondro]

This just doesn't feel natural to me. The relationship doesn't make sense. There's no context to it, just a great deal of dialog and head voices.