• Published 24th Apr 2017
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Ultimate Equestria - Leo Pachino



What happens when Twilight Sparkle and her friends are pushed to their limits? How does their friendship and strength hold against a series of evil none like ever before?

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Chapter 008: Craig Y’ol Timber

Several days of blind sailing had passed since Twilight and her friends had last seen Korsan’s ship. Over time during this fruitless search, the sky had started to dull, turning more and more cloudy and gloomy. Now, a week later, with a fully cloudy sky above their heads, the nine ponies and one dragon met up at the galley to discuss the situation.

“That’s it!” Rainbow Dash said angrily. “We lost Korsan.”

“Don’t be so glum,” Applejack replied, still holding on. “We’ll find Thieves’ Hold in time. Right, Twilight? You know where we’re going directly to it.”

Twilight was hesitant to answer at first.

“Well…” Twilight slowly answered. “To be honest, I only know the general area of Thieves’ Hold.”

“And we are heading to that general direction right?” Applejack then asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well… I don’t know.” Twilight said, a grin of shame now placed on her face.

“…Are you saying we’re lost?” Rarity asked.

“Everything looks the same!” Twilight snapped. “We’re surrounded by ocean. Despite all of my navigational gear, the ocean will still be the ocean!”

“Then why don’t we just go in one direction until we hit land?” Fluttershy suggested.

“That’s not a good idea. What if we sail into the Ley Lines again or we come across something equally as dangerous?” Twilight said.

Fluttershy replied, “Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t take the risk.”

“We’re going to have to take some risk in order to get anywhere.” Rarity retorted.

“Maybe we all just need to calm down and think about this more.” Spike suggested.

Tension begun to build in the room as thoughts of being forever lost at sea clouded the crew’s minds.

“If only some old pony with a raft came along who understood this ocean like the back of his hoof and helped us.” Pinkie said aloud.

“Now that’s just ridiculous,” Rainbow said, rolling her eyes. “Now we’ve been through a lot of weird things, but this might take the cake.”

“Uh… Dashy,” Fluttershy mumbled.

“What?” Dash asked, already ticked off by Twilight.

“I wouldn’t tempt fate.” The yellow mare calmly recommended.

“What fate? The chances of something like that happening are zilch.” Dash proclaimed, crossing her front hooves across her chest.

A subtle knocking was then heard below the mares, coming from the port side. Everypony became quiet, almost frightened by the sound.

“What’s that?” Dash asked.

“Let’s go check it out.” Applejack said. “You three fillies stay in here.”

Quickly, the six older mares and Spike charged out to the main deck and looked over the side where the knocking is coming from. To their surprise, they saw a small, wooden platform drifting next to them. It only had a few things on it, a large chest, some trash, and a small sail in the middle of the whole thing.

Looking over the raid a bit more, they saw an old Earth pony stallion, with a very desaturated green coat of fur and a very white and short mane and tail, hitting their ship with a wooden cane.

“Excuse me,” Rainbow Dash called down to the stranger. “Can we help you?”

“Darn kids,” the old stallion swore in his withered voice. “Keep your darn noise down. I’m trying to take a nap here.”

“We weren’t making all that much noise-” Dash tried to tell him, only to be interrupted by a shrewd response.

“That’s what they all say these days. Listening to that mess of racket they call music.” The stallion said.

“Are you lost, sir?” Twilight asked.

“Do I look lost?” The old pony asked.

“Uh…”

Twilight wasn’t really sure how to answer that.

“If anything,” the old pony continued his rant. “You whippersnappers are lost. What were you kids doing messing around in the Ley Lines?”

“We were following a pirate named Korsan. Have you seen him?” Twilight asked, gladly taking a lead.

“He drives this massive floating pirate ship with black sails,” Dash added. “You can’t miss it.”

“That’s a boat?” The old pony muttered. “I thought it was that Discord villain stirring up trouble.”

Fluttershy replied upon hearing the name, “Discord? You know him?”

“Everypony does, he’s bringing everything to chaos. You kids would know if your faces weren’t into all of those magazines.” The stallion said.

“How old are you even?” Dash rudely asked, having grown tired of his indirect insults.

“That’s none of your business. Rude kids…” The old pony said.

“Sorry for my friend’s disrespect,” Applejack responded. “You are right. This generation’s going to the dogs.”

“You said it! At least somepony’s wise enough around here,” The stallion said, actually sounding happy for once.

“Yep,” Applejack nodded.

“Applejack,” Twilight whispered to her. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to get on his good side by using some words that Granny Smith says in her sleep. He knows those Ley Lines we were in, maybe he can help us get to Thieves’ Hold.” Applejack told her.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” the stallion spoke. “I’m going back to sleep.”

“Actually, can we use your help?” Applejack asked.

“What is it?”

“We’re trying to get to a place called Thieves’ Hold and-”

“Thieves’ Hold?!”

“Yeah, do you know where it is?”

“I do, but I’m not taking you there.”

“Why?”

“Thieves’ Hold, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. You kids must be cautious out here at sea. I have a bounty put on my head at that place, ten bits!”

“Just ten?” Rainbow interrupted.

“Darn kid, quit interrupting me!” The stallion hissed.

“We’re adults by the way.” The pegasus retorted.

“Not when I’m through with you.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Just watch and I’ll take my stick here and put it up-”

“Sorry,” Applejack interjected before the stallion could get into the details of his threat. “It’s a very urgent matter. We’re lost and we need your help, sir.”

“…” The old pony went silent, probably thinking.

Applejack further begged, “Please. We won’t let anything bad happen to you when we get to Thieves’ Hold.”

“…Fine. Take me up to your steering.”

“Thank you mister, uh… What’s your name?”

“Craig Y’ol Timber, just call me Craig.”

Gently, Twilight grabbed the small log raft with her telekinetic magic and lifted it over to the deck with her and the others following behind. Upon landing, Craig slowly walked off his raft with his cane in hoof and approached the girls walking up the stairs to him. As Rainbow Dash draws within a metre of him, Craig quickly struck her on the head with the end of his cane.

“Ow!” Rainbow cries out, backing away and rubbing her head after the hit. “What was that for?”

“I don’t like you lot of kids. Dying your hair all sorts of whacky and not brushing, listening to that garbage yous call music, not respecting your elders,” Craig rambled.

Rainbow Dash retorted, “First off, this is my natural mane and tail. Second, maybe I would respect you if you’d quit being an old fart that smells like-”

Before she can finish she is stuck again by the end of the stick.

“Stop it!” She yelled.

“Darn kid. Now where’s the rudder?”

“Right here, sir,” Twilight answered, walking towards the wooden steering wheel.

“That’s no rudder, that looks like some oversized toy. Where are the oars even on this thing?” Craig asked, examining the wheel.

Twilight explained, “No, this controls the rudder at the back of this ship. And we don’t need oars, it’s all wind powered.”

“You don’t say? That sounds like some newfangled technology.”

“It’s been around for centuries.”

“How do you steer it?”

“Simple, you turn it left to go left and right to go right. I’ll get this thing moving and you can point us in the right direction. Come on, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash?”

Looking back towards Craig positioning himself at the wheel, she saw Rainbow Dash blowing a raspberry behind him. However, Dash’s taunt is promptly interrupted by the old stallion grabbing his stick from the ground and bonking her head again. Not even glancing back, the stallion knew where to strike the perfect blow.

“Blasted kids…” He muttered.

“Come on Rainbow, don’t make it worse.” Twilight said.

A small growling could be heard from the blue pegasus as she flew up behind the white sails. She and the others began flapping her wings, pushing wind into the sails and moving the galleon forward. Soon, the ship was darting across the sea.

“Whoa! Slow down! We’re about to miss the turn.” Craig yelled.

“What?” Applejack asked in confusion. “Thieves’ Hold has to be a fair distance away. You have plenty of time to aim this thing straight at it.”

“We’re not going the long way.” Craig replied. “I may not be in my prime, but I still know a thing or two about speed. Also, can you hit that Rainblow Darn kid with my cane?”

“Where are you going?” Rarity worryingly asked.

“Open your eyes, we’re taking a shortcut.” Craig said.

“A what?”

The three mares on deck with Craig looked around the sails and over the bow. Before their eyes was a large whirlpool ahead of them, swirling violently. Waves began to wash over onto the deck, blasting the ponies with mist.

“You mean that spiraling vortex of death?!” Rarity asked.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve done this plenty of times.” Craig reassured her.

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Applejack nervously questioned the driver.

“Sure as that Crystal Empire garbage is nothing more than a myth.” Craig said in pride.

“Oh dear…” Spike groans.

“What? It is.” Craig said.

“Adventure is out there!” Pinkie screamed in excitement as the ship entered into the circling water.

“Hey you flying ponies up there, yous might want to hang onto something!” Craig warned.

“What?” Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy asked, oblivious to what’s going on.

However, as the galleon started to dive down to the black hole of the whirlpool, the three were able to see over the top of the sail and see the spiraling water in front of them. “What the-”

“Please keep your hooves, legs, manes, and tails inside the boat at all times!”

Frantically, the three fliers darted down to the deck and clutched onto the wooden floor as the entire ship slanted steeper and steeper. In moments, the SS Raindrop plummeted into the abyss. Inside the center of the whirlpool and below the seafloor, the large galleon plummeted into a large underground cavern.

Landing on a river facing towards the flow of water, the ship pounced forwards into the dark caverns with most of the mares and Spike onboard screaming in terror. Meanwhile the three fillies in the galley and Pinkie on the front deck are instead screaming in joy.

“What is this?!” Applejack cried in panic.

Craig swiftly explained, “Super-fast rivers that flow through an underground system carved out by erosion and pressure. Very round as well. After traveling through these throughout my years at sea, I can go anywhere in the world as I please. Duck,”


“Wha-”

A large stone spike then appeared in the darkness, poking from the wall and heading towards the orange mare. Applejack immediately ducked as it swiped over her body, shattering the edge railing at her side.

“Hm, this ship might be too big. Oh well.” Craig said dismissingly.

As the vessel continued to speedily careen through the pitch black cave, more stalagmites and stalactites were rammed into, breaking apart the galleon bit by bit.

“I regret everything!” Rainbow Dash squealed, tightly hugging Fluttershy. “I regret everything I have ever done! I should’ve never tempted fate!”

“Turn it down, ya noisy brat, I’m trying to concentrate!”

With a sudden jerk of the wheel, the boat sharply turned left, grinding its keel against the side of the unseen cavern walls as if defying gravity.

“I hope you enjoy the loopy-loops.” Craig said in advance.

“The what?!” Dash exclaimed.

With another jerk of the steering, the ship then swung over to the other side of the tube-like cave before flipping upside down and grinding against the ceiling of the cave. The ship completed the barrel roll and landed back into the raging current at the bottom.

“All I see is black and my life flashing before my eyes!” Dash exclaimed.

“Quit your crying, you pansy. Just a few more moments,” Craig said.

After a while of the ship darting around in pitch black, it is being suddenly slowed down by an unseen force.

Craig then commanded, “Almost there, hold your breath.”

Twilight was practically glued to the middle mast of the ship at this point. She looked ahead and saw a small light beaming down from ahead, an exit. As they speedily draw closer, Twilight saw that they’re fighting against the current now, and that the exit is a large waterfall, pouring down water from the above world.

How will we able to get out? Twilight rapidly thought to herself, if it’s a whirlpool that got us in here, then it’s going to be another at this point.

“Nearly there, hopefully this thing floats like my raft.” Craig said.

As the tip of the bowsprit then pieced the edge of the thick waterfall, the entire front of the vessel jerked down a small bit, but still pushed forwards. Slowly, the ship’s entire front was bathed in water. It started to lift upwards instead. With more and more of the large watercraft entering the thick column of rushing water, the more it leaned upwards towards the surface. The ponies onboard were smashed by tons of water, yet they continued to hold on with all of their might.

Eventually, the entire ship becomes enveloped in water and starts to slowly move upwards against the waterfall. The sunlit surface drew close as they climbed. The onboard crew held their breath for as long as they could whilst still holding onto the boat in any way conceivable to them.

A minute passes before the galleon finally breached the water surface, with an enormous splash in its wake. After a few rocks and teeters, the ship resumed its sailing position on the surface. The mares, Craig, and Spike promptly gasped out for air and relief from their fast-paced travel through the caves, not noticing how the cloud-covered sky had grown increasingly thicker and darker.

“Never again,” Dash whimpered, still tightly clutching onto Fluttershy.

”Heh,” Rarity giggled from the steering deck before coughing. “This maybe the first and last time I’ve seen you not want to go fast.”

“Oh, bite my flank, you were screaming your head off the entire time.” Dash retorted.

“And you weren’t?”

“Can somepony please remove Dash off of me, she’s getting heavy.” Fluttershy groaned as the large weight continued to tightly latch onto her side.

“I feel sick,” Spike moaned with his face planted into the wet deck.

“That was awesome!” Pinkie loudly cheered, making the old stallion beside her cringe.

“Let’s do it again!”

“Yeah!” The voices of the three fillies leaked out from below deck.

“No, we’re not doing it again.” Twilight stridently replied. “I need to check around and see how much damage has been done. From first glances alone, Princess Celestia’s going to be furious.”

“She won’t be if she’s still dating that mutant guard.” Craig Y’ol Timber responded, slowly descending from the wheel.

“What are you-” Applejack asked before realizing what the answer will most likely be. “Never mind. Craig, how come nopony’s ever known about that cave system other than you?”

“Meh, most ponies actively avoid the whirlpools. And those who do, well, you know the answer.” Craig replied cryptically.

Applejack nodded, “I under-”

“They die.”

“…stand…”

“Big, red, dead,”

“Well,” Twilight called out, circling around the ship in the air and examining the damage. “A snapped mast, most of our remaining sails torn, large holes in the upperparts of the hull, two thirds of our cannons gone, a missing keel, a busted rudder, the bowsprit broken halfway through, most of the paint competently gone, nearly all of the railing broken, and I don’t even want to know how much has broken inside. Thieves’ Hold better be real close.”

The old stallion pointed a hoof over in the distance.

“Behold, Thieves’ Hold. Tartarus on Earth,”

Slowly, everypony on board turned to starboard and saw Thieves’ Hold only a kilometre away from them.

Covered in a thin veil of fog, Thieves’ Hold was a large collection of tall stone stacks clustered together in a vast area of water. Small wooden buildings with faint lights could be seen elevated high above the water, built into the large rock towers, connected to each other by tiny rope bridges swaying in the cold breeze.

At each of the columns of stones’ base were a small ring of sharp rocks jutting out, ready to pierce anything that gets to close. Some rings already having several small, decrepit ships trapped inside them.

“There it is,” Twilight gasped.

“Well, I better get going, help me get this thing into the water.”

Gently, the old Earth pony grabbed his staff and hopped onto his raft, unscaved after all it has been through.

As Twilight lifted the raft and sent it back down onto the ocean, she told the old pony, “Thank you, Craig, we’ll never forget what you did for us.”

“You’re welcome.” Craig humbly replied. “Now how about a little push towards the whirlpool?”

“Yes, sir.”

With a flick of her horn, Craig’s raft immediately started to drift towards the swirling water behind the galleon. Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Spike, Twilight, and Rarity walked towards the railless edge of the deck and waved goodbye.

Rainbow Dash, however, flew down and hovered over the raft, rudely blowing a raspberry at Craig. She was immediately met wait a hit in the air by his can being thrown at her. Dash retreated back to the safety of her ship.

“Darn kid!” Craig’s voice echoed in the distance.

Soon, the old stallion’s raft sunk down into the black hole of the whirlwind, leaving the team to enter Thieves’ Hold as the night soon arrives.

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