• Member Since 24th Nov, 2016
  • offline last seen April 17th

Lord Stardancer


I am Stardancer. The Berserker, The Shatterer, The Void, Abiter Decimus, Godbreaker, Liferipper, and Lord of Starguard. I'm a nice guy, honest!

Comments ( 73 )

Interesting story. I think it's going to be a good one.

Well, you certainly delivered.
I hope you will update this regularly.

P.s. What's up with all dislikes here? On any and all comments and almost 50/50% at the posting date of the fic.
Someone really don't like something/someone?

Delivering is definitely interesting, story is sound enough, style of writing is pleasing too.
I just don't get it.

This is off to a great start as evil villainous clopfic adventures go!

I honestly enjoy a good plot with my clop, and this is a great plot with some great clop. I haven't been this excited about a multi chapter clopfic in a while.

Not really a fan of several parts of the outcome, but the lead-up was top-notch, A+

Fucking AWESOME STORY! The clop is a nice touch, too! :moustache:

One pointer, perhaps: It can be a slight bit jarring when you switch perspectives without warning, something as simple as a page divider would do wonders for the flow of your story.
Looking forward for more!
:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Waiting for more... A good chapter I have to say

I'm a little unclear on what he did to knock her out. Was he really draining her instead of the other way around?

8104078 She pushed out too much magic. He could have stopped her from blacking out if he wanted, but he knew that since she was so inexperienced, she would overextend herself on the first go around.

Sigh, just in the best moment...

This is good. I'm happy about the update. Thanks.

It went so ridiculously well for the protagonist that I had assumed around the time he got "everything" that it was a dream tricking him!

those two are not a real twilight and knight am I right?

that ending was not expected. I expected Twilight to be just enslaved, though on the other hand the crystal might be her i mean what els would it be.

So... Instead of make Twilight his toy, he killed her? Well... That is bad, he need to control himself in the future. After all he could had a very good food that replenished itself and a good toy.

Ho. Ly. Fuck.

How the hell can anyone write such a masterpiece? There are minor flaws in spelling, but they didn't distract from the mental mind games that Thrassimund, aka Kaiscillius, used upon Twilight and her 'friend'. Sweet Jesus, this chapter was made excellently, and I'll love to see what is in store next,

FRIEND.

If he Just killed Twilight after all that effort it seems like a real waste. Hopefully she is a fake like the other body, otherwise its just really depressing honestly

Am still holding out hope he has Twilight for himself as a personal project or something. :fluttershysad:

When it rains it pours it seems, Blueblood is on the case...and is probably gonna die... :trollestia:

i have a feelin the 'hero' is gonna be a villan in disguise

Still hoping to see Twilight again... Not that I am totally against fics where she dies... but in that way after submitting so well... kind of ruined the mood. And keeping her perhaps trapped in that gem could be so much fun to see how he uses such a powerful toy in his schemes.

This is turning into (well, I guess always was) one of those fics where the heroes do nothing but fall into the villain’s traps over and over again.

8213862
Don’t worry, all I’m going to say is, the’re not stupid.

8213868

Twilight already set a pretty low bar. It made sense that he tricked her, but ultimately she gives up right after being told someone was messing with her head rather than finally putting up a struggle.

Edit: It's not that the villain winning is bad, it's just that its not very entertaining to watch this particular villain win, especially when the path to victory involves all these depressing things like manipulating the masses and pushing drugs.

8213868
Kind of hard to believe when a villains plan has almost zero set backs. Also the fact that the mane six are buying into this B.S. with Luna when there is no proof. Sadly, most of the characters in this story seem to Fall into evil a bit too easily or are more sheep than anything else

Stories like Death Note, where we follow a bad guy are more interesting because we see how they react when things don't go according to script. Like L and Misa

Lol Starlight and Trixie had pulled a Rick and Morty.

8214345

It’s not solely the lack of set-backs (though that’s a part), it’s also that his plan is to just make Canterlot a riotous hell-hole just to get what he wants, and does so like it’s trivial. It doesn’t make just the main characters look bad for failing to stop him, it makes Equestria in general seem like just a bunch of levers he can pull with no internal mechanisms for stopping all the serious crimes he commits, and makes the ponies all seem like easily swayed stooges. It’s fine in a comedy or particularly ridiculous clopfics when vast amounts of property damage and horror are committed as a matter of course and then ignored, but here it’s hard to care what his delusional motivations are when all you can think about is how shitty he’s already made everything.

It’s also annoying that the heroes of friendship don’t act until Luna asks them, then let themselves be side-tracked by a really flimsy distraction (seriously, WHY does Rarity care about this Blueblood thing when there’s a friend in need!?), and give a terrible speech when saving the day with words is practically all they ever do in the show. His plan put them in exactly the situations you expect them to make the right choices even if they’re hard because that’s what makes them the elements of harmony, but instead they just... don’t.

8215520
Yeah, I agree. It feels a lot like Fall of Equestria in the sense that the villain is doing all of this so easily.

Again, what gets me is the speed to blame Luna and going so far as to call her Nightmare Moon. Ponies aren’t doing their jobs and she is getting the blame. Even Twilight’s friends seem to act like it is natural to blame her when there are others who could have ‘killed’ her. For example, Starlight has vanished and nopony is thinking that she, a former villain as well, might have done it. Or Discord? Why isn’t Cadence and Shining Armor coming to help and restore order?

Ok, you may have already posted this elsewhere (and if you did please link it) but what would have been the ending if Fluttershy actually went as the map wanted?

8215585

Yeah, I agree. It feels a lot like Fall of Equestria in the sense that the villain is doing all of this so easily.

Or The Trouble with Unicorns, where the villain who happens to be a prince and demagogue takes advantage of Celestia’s inaction to undermine Princess Luna and Twilight and lead a rebellion against the throne basically at the drop of a hat

8216977
Ah, no I have not. If Fluttershy had done as the map directed, it things would have turned out much nicer for the ponies, given that Kaiscillius is still an animal. This is the reason why he has not yet gone after her, despite her weakened state. He believes himself to be incredibly strong willed, but he doesn’t really want to go head to head with someone who directly counters him. The ending itself would have happened very quickly, with Kaiscillius being so weak after emerging from the pool, Fluttershy would have been able to subdue him long enough for him to be captured and then killed after they realized that he couldn’t be rehabilitated, unless he escaped custody.

8215585
I have to say, you guys are uncanny. You’ve raised every point that next chapter explains (well, the ones I can explain anyway), which means I’ve made the story kind of predictable I suppose, but there are still a few things that you and Arzoo haven’t guessed yet, so I hope I can surprise you. I also don’t know if this comment breaks some kind of writer’s form or not, my apologies if it does.

8174782
I doubt Twilight really died there, that just doesn't seem Kai's style.

"You can't judge somepony by who they used to be, silly!" Pinkie said as she fiddled with a balloon, "You can only go on who you know them to be now!"

This line means so much to me. Thank you for making this story exist.

I think the way to get it it's easy... First ask Discord for help, and there is also not taking care of the sun and choose. If they kill her nopony control the sun and the moon. Let's see how they feel after a week without a night.

Explains a lot, though her friends resisting makes Twilight seem like even more of a chump.

Just found this story and binge read the chapters, usually I'm all about the villains winning but in this case I really want the good guys to come out on top. Love the story so far!

If it's possible to be impervious to soldiers like that in a setting, no one would ever bother with soldiers... It read like an anime fight with no tension at all; the soldiers were completely irrelevant and you knew they were useless. That made the fight very boring.

It's a surprise what he did... I mean, Celestia could hardly stay up and Luna was almost defeated... Not sure why he needed to do that.

you should have added 'on Dragon Ball Z' after 'next time'

If the guards could be resurrected, what about Twilight? It could hurt Celestia if Twilight is used as a puppet

The more I read this the more I root for the good guys. But the amazing sex scenes makes me want Kaiscillius to atleast have a few more tricks up his sleeve, and I know this'll probably be a bad end anyways, sadly. Keep up the amazing work!

8427609
The souls decay over time, usually you only have about a day to build them a new body complete with memories. Kaiscillius was being pretty unfair to Celestia, as the amout of power required to bring back one person correctly would have seriously tired her, let alone forty. And some as magically capable as Twilight? If done incorrectly she would come back severely handicapped, or worse as an unrecognizable emotionless machine.

8427856

 or worse as an unrecognizable emotionless machine.

I don't see the problem for Kascillus, I mean, a emotionless Twilight could also hurt Celestia.

And about the power, I suppose that it was the reason why he did not revived Twilight when he managed to see he killed her.

P.S: Thanks for answer :)

8427804
or have him break and become Celestia's favorit pet.

Quite literally screaming for Kaiscillius to come out on top, nothing wrong with a little government overthrow going all the way, that'd make my AU dream.

Kaiscillius's, you really REALLY shouldn't have allowed Twilight to enter your mind.

Maybe it's because Kaiscillius bas been the main character of this entire story, but I really hope he wins even if that means a "bad" ending. Keep up the good work.

Login or register to comment