Love is Chaos

by Brock Lesnar

The Omega Phase, or, This Card May Be Kept Until Needed Or Sold.

It was truly a dark and stormy night, as the wind beat mercilessly against the glass windows of Canterlot's Royal Palace, four figures were crouched over in a mysterious room, lit only by the glow of a raging fire. They were conducting a battle of wits, strength and power. Sweat beaded across the eyes of the largest of the four, his hand trembling, his eyes wide, pupils dilated, all while spitting out mangled prayers. He closed his eyes, calmed himself the best he could, and flung his hand forward.

The dice came up 11.

Discord, after opening his eyes, let out a whoop of joy, the roll of 11 having managed to navigate the properties of Celestia and Rainbow Dash, while managing to land him on Free Parking.

Now, all of you are probably scratching your heads and wondering what the hell I'm going on about. It's quite simple. After carefully analyzing the data of their failed experiments, the trio spied on Celestia, examining her every move, watching her endlessly, their ceaseless gaze silently judging her. After weeks of investigation, they discovered one very important thing: Celestia had a competitive streak a mile long. The team had come up with a way of exploiting this flaw, and had concluded that they would challenge her to a game of Jenga. Unfortunately, they lost miserably. So they decided on Monopoly. If Pinkie won, she would have all the chocolate rain her heart desired. If Rainbow won, the Princesses agreed to race her. If Celestia won, the EMP wouldn't bug her for a fortnight. And if Discord won? He would get a date with Celestia. Celestia, surprisingly, accepted these conditions.

Actually, come to think of it, that was needlessly complicated. I could have just said there was a bet. Ah well, exposition.

Back to the game, we cut to our four. Pinkie Pie had been knocked out early in the game, due to her wanting to buy everything, so only Rainbow Dash, Celestia and Discord remained. Unfortunately, due to both bad luck and the author having no idea on how to make a game of Monopoly interesting, Rainbow Dash landed on Trafalgar Square, which was owned by Discord, who had put a hotel down on that spot two turns ago.

Now it was just the two of them. And, since this is a humor/romance, you know this is about to get a lot more interesting.

Celestia didn't like losing. She was banned from the Running of the Leaves because she zapped everyone in front of her with her magic. She would do anything to ensure she won. So she decided to use the only weapon at her disposal: herself.

"Oh Diiiiiiiiiscord…" Celestia said in a low and seductive manner, "Don't you think it's a bit… warm in here?"

Now, I'm not saying men are weak. I am one, and I know we aren't going to be reduced to a stammering mess every time a woman gives us attention, despite what Hollywood would have you believe otherwise. But look at this from Discords perspective, hmm? He had loved Celestia for a very long time. All the EMP's plans had failed, obviously resulting in stress. This stress, combined with the team making news plans, lead to lack of sleep. He was tired, lovesick and sick of their plans always failing. And now Celestia was acting as if she wanted him. Badly.

So it is understandable why Discord's mind reverted to a jelly-like substance that couldn't comprehend multisyllabic words.

And so the game continued, with Celestia making suggestive remarks, flustering Discord to no end. Unfortunately for her, and fortunate for all us DiscordxCelestia shippers, she was so caught up in her game, she failed to notice one thing. She had just landed on Mayfair. Owned by Discord. With a hotel.

Celestia was now bankrupt, and therefore lost the game.

Celestia's eyes were wide with shock. She had lost. LOST. Groaning, she laid her head back and shut her eyes. Her silence was broken, however, by the voice of a draconequus.

"So… Ah… What time tomorrow?" Discord stammered, nervously.

Celestia had forgotten about the bet, and it only now came rushing back to her. As she turned to answer, she smiled. Maybe losing wasn't so bad after all.

Author's Note:

"Hey Tom?"

Yes?

"No 4th wall Today?"

nope

".... k"

Comments

[Matthewl419]

Well, it's getting better as the chapters go on. Nice job improving, author!

[Brock Lesnar]

8018771 HELL YEAH!!!