• Member Since 1st Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Admiral Biscuit


Axe Body Spray: Confounding ponies since 1983.

T

Bringing the Budweiser Clydesdales to Equestria seemed like a perfect way to promote the brand. After all, nobody would appreciate a team of horses more than an actual equine audience. What could possibly go wrong?


Written for the EFNW Scribblefest 2017

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 187 )
Dan
Dan #1 · Mar 7th, 2017 · · 16 ·

Budweiser is ungodly pisswasser, but that superbowl commercial about Adolphus Busch that got conservatives' panties in a twist was rather heartwarming.

On a related note, my state is finally abolishing the medieval Blue Laws. To be honest, I'm a bit sad future generations won't know the time-honored ritual of hopping the border into Wisconsin to stock up on a Sunday.

Well, you've inspired me. The next time the lizard-man circus comes through town, I'll make sure their giant, carnivorous apes are properly informed of their rights. :raritywink:

Fun story, and an interesting look at human pony relations.

Would this be in the same 'verse as Silver Glow (I guess the exchange-verse) or just a stand alone?

8002723

Well, you've inspired me. The next time the lizard-man circus comes through town, I'll make sure their giant, carnivorous apes are properly informed of their rights. :raritywink:

:rainbowlaugh:

8002730

Fun story, and an interesting look at human pony relations.

:heart:

Would this be in the same 'verse as Silver Glow (I guess the exchange-verse) or just a stand alone?

It's really just a standalone. It was inspired by comments on Silver Glow's Journal, and it doesn't directly contradict anything in that story, so you can certainly see it in the Silver Glow 'verse.

8002717

Budweiser is ungodly pisswasser, but that superbowl commercial about Adolphus Busch that got conservatives' panties in a twist was rather heartwarming.

And I do like their Clydesdales, too.

On a related note, my state is finally abolishing the medieval Blue Laws. To be honest, I'm a bit sad future generations won't know the time-honored ritual of hopping the border into Wisconsin to stock up on a Sunday.

We've relaxed ours, too. You can now buy early on Sundays, so you can get lit before going to church.

indeed what did you think would happen.

Doesn't matter what name you give them if it doesn't fit into thier world view thier panties are in a twist

And after the diplomatic fallout, Australian beer brewers were able to step up...

8002749

It's really just a standalone. It was inspired by comments on Silver Glow's Journal, and it doesn't directly contradict anything in that story, so you can certainly see it in the Silver Glow 'verse.

I can see how something like this could be what causes them to start up the exchange program something like this doesn't happen again.

Some canny diplomacy and scientific evidence might get the horses back, after all earth horses aren't sapient(sapient is different from sentient) Though I doubt Joe isn't going to get fired and shunned for causing interdimenshional incident for not explaining to Equestria that "earth horses aren't people". What did he plan to do as a follow up, eat a hamburger in front of them? Joe why you no think?

Good ole diplomatic incidents. Pff. Heh.

Urge to write story about the years-long rehabilitation of the Budweiser Clydesdales...

Rising...

And now I just developed a new piece of headcanon.

Considering the amount of sapient species in Equestria, and how through history each one of them had been considered just animals (the Princesses made a drinking game out of it, then stopped after an embarassing morning involving a pool of custard, three minotaurs, a seal wearing a clown wig an no memories about the evening before), Equestria abolished directly the concept of owning living beings. They have now in place a complex system of rules regarding living conditions and advocates who can challenge the current host of animals if they are acting against the interests of their tenants.

This works through a collection of precedents and because we are talking about ponies.

In the customs forms there was probably a field regarding "responsible" or "steward" and the idea of ownership got lost in translation.


BTW, I liked the story a lot:pinkiehappy:

8003008 Agreed...After all they are suffering from PTSD.

8003023

This works through a collection of precedents and because we are talking about ponies.

Saying this phrase would save so much time on so many stories.

Next chapter: Applejack vs Diamond Dogs aka the legal fight over Winona. :applejackconfused:

If the ponies don't view them as animals, why were they brought to Fluttershy for care, instead of, say, some sort of mental health long term care facility?

The story has a lot of promise but I feel it ends before it even gets started.

Needs moreeee :)

Harts Fire takes a wing to the back of Admiral's head. we need to talk about the sequel as I have a idea.

8002886
Because people that work in stables have practical experience in diplomacy but not theoretical. Donny gets to deal with the fallout

Well, these sorts of hiccups are all but inevitable during first contact (and second, third, fourth...) At least it didn't end in declarations of war.

Most entertaining all around. :twilightsmile:

8002717 Except it wasn't true. Busch was a from a well off family and immigrated to a well known German community legally. There wasn't even anti German sentiment at time he came over, so the scene where he's getting yelled at "Go back home!" Is bs.

If you're going to stiggit to trump, at least get your facts right, or better yet, just focus on why your product is great and leave politics out of it.

Local mega brewery to me that still has display Shires, is Thwaites. The local pubs aint the furthest they delivered, at over 6 miles, or the worst hills, approaching thousand foot climbs, but they give a good example of just what these horses could go through. And then theres the weather. Theres a reason the area is classed as Temperate Rainforest. And yet theres Hares. Which apparently are Arctic Hares that decided to stick around when the permafrost melted.

But my first thought on the story?

None of them recieved a heros welcome.

8003403 Given how most stable owners treat their horses like their own I almost expect them to fight tooth and nail to try and get them back.

Of course given the sort of divide I would wonder what would happen when Spike the Overworked BABY assistant would come to the opposite end given Child Labor Laws. :trollestia:

Dan
Dan #24 · Mar 7th, 2017 · · 12 ·

8003475
Who said anything about Trump? He "stiggits" himself enough without outside help.

Wait wait wait....


How'd they even get as far as TO Equestria, shouldn't there have been some sort of customs?

What do horses have to do with beer?

8003567 The Clydesdale is the symbol for the Budweiser brand beer.

8002717
I find beer in general to be disgusting, honestly. My family and friends who drink it tell me that "I just haven't found the right one." Like they're talking about getting a girlfriend or something. But every beer I've tried, I thought was just plain gross. I'd rather drink cough syrup than beer.

8003403 Some how I doubt Joe was a stable worker, I like to think people who work with horses might be better at dealing with sentient ones.

8003567
What 8003587 said. Specifically, breweries used to deliver beer to bars and restaurants in heavy carts drawn by teams of draft horses, of which Clydesdales are one of the best known breeds. So big draft horses have become linked with the idea of beer.

8003602 It`s like black coffee. unless you acquire a taste for it you will hate it forever.

It had been years in the making, but Snowheart felt nothing but swelling pride as the giant Earth horse made an awkward attempt at a formal bow before the Princesses. Finally, one of them could speak, and now the real work of reaching out to the rest of the Earth horses could begin. But this moment... this glorious moment was the culmination of Snowheart's hopes and dreams.

Barkback - Fluttershy's nickname for the former 'Commander' - opened his mouth. "Can I go home now?" A pin dropping would have been like a cannon shot in the stunned silence. "I miss my friend Joe."

Discord: *leans back and eats popcorn* I could tell them they're basically pets, but this is going to be so much fun to watch

They're free now.

Animal, Heat, Poop everywhere they like

Good luck with that.

Isn't Troubleshoes the Equestrian version of a Clydesdale?

This is begging for a sequel! Clydesdale adventures in Equestria! Want moar! :yay:

He should have explained the difference in intelligence between the two (Equis ponies and Earth horses) before saying anything else.

The potential sequel to this where enough exposure to Equestrian ambient magic turns them into awakened equines would be equal parts disturbing and hilarious. After all, Equestrian wildlife shows considerably more intelligence for their brain sizes than Earth ones do, and the obvious explanation is "magic".

And yes, if this is the same setting as Silver Glow's Journal, it'd be even MORE so. She made friends with a fair number of Earth horses, after all.

This does still make me wonder about Applejack's farm animals. The cows and sheep can talk, yet are treated like, well, animals, as opposed to Iron Will's goats who don't talk but seem to be employees. And I don't know why AJ keeps pigs, unless she goes hunting for a lot of truffles.

Only issue I see is the Horses would have to ask for asylum before it could be granted. It can't be just given to someone because there from another place. In fact if you consider the Horses to be from another world than the pony's essentially kidnapped them.

"We've made a ...discovery."
"Yes, Counselor?" Celestia nodded for him to continue.
"One of our volunteer helpers, a mare named Pole Dancer, somehow managed to make one of our new guests her ...special somepony, and now she has a foal. It seems interbreeding is possible."

And that's where the nation of Clyde began.
(The ponies there are huge and a bit dim, but they brew a decent beer> :trollestia:

8003891
Depends if they classify them as the equivalent of minors or infants, incapable of providing for themselves. In that case, this could be considered as freeing them from slavery. In which case they would probably get somepony to administer their interests until they are capable of doing so alone.

8003890
Probably for fertilizer. :ajsmug:

This is interesting, not mentioned concepts in equestria meets earth stories. I wonder how ponies would react if they were to observe industrial animal husbandry or classic husbandry?

8003702, I am now imagining the Clydesdales to sound like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukpnHh4eEeQ or maybe with a Midwestern US accent (the stables are in St. Louis)

On that note, an interesting story idea would be if the soon-to-be sapient Clydesdales were angry upon realizing they they had essentially been kidnapped. It would also be nice to see the sapient Clydesdales interacting with their former owners.

---------------------

It makes sense that Snowheart actually uses horsemanship techniques to deal with mentally retarded or otherwise brain-damaged Ponies. After all, what is an MLP Pony but a sapient horse?

On that, I am now imagining horse trainers in Equestria getting jobs as orderlies and guards in mental health facilities.

8003532 You were talking about the commercial ad that was clearly aimed at his anti "illegal" immigration platform and threw conservatives in the mix. There's this big push to conflate all immigrants togther and make those who support controlling immigration as big bad nationalist bigots, when that clearly isn't the case.

It even fails more so when AnheauserBusch is pandering to that sentiment using its founder as a story of coming to America full of hate and adversity when the actual truth is complete opposite. Look, I get it, it's a group of people you politically disagree with but at least praise something that has truth or real basis in its Ad. The super bowl commercial is factually incorrect and it's political pandering in the hopes to score more revenue.

Something documenting Snowhearts attempts at rehabilitating the Budweiser team would be amusing.

8004018 Well AJ's farm does own Sheep and Cows..

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!