Imprisoned (without charges) by the Paw Patrol
An entry for Scribblefest 2017
Fluttershy is not a mare particularly keen on the Everfree forest. It's dark, creepy, and generally a place she'd rather not visit.
But when she hears the cries of an animal in pain, she may have to enter its dark depths.
Alone.
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Lol, it's like a Goosebumps book!
8007323 Thanks !
My notes from the first round of judging. Nothing is decided quite yet, but this one is still in the running!
8080979 Thanks for the feedback!
(Probably not allowed to go back and fix those issues, am I?)
8083091 I don't really know if it'd be against the rules, to be honest. Although most of the judges have already read this one, so any changes now might not make a difference!
But I'm not the only author you left a good impression on, I can tell you that much. The core of this story was well-received, the song was a hit, and more than one of us feel that it could frame a really interesting episode, were it adapted for the screen. Good work.
8083356 You're too kind
Going back and re-reading it again, I discovered that most of my dashes (-) have gone missing. Hmmm... Well, if it's not against the rules... I think I'll go back and fix some of that broken punctuation.
There were some definite editing problems I noticed when I read this. A little distracting, but I'm guessing some botched copy/paste. The story does a good job of showing Fluttershy's compassion overcoming her fear, so kudos on that. The pacing is a little slow for me though. The ending didn't change my expectation, so I felt it could've gotten there a bit faster, or did more to play up the fear. Still a decent read though!
Well Done