Grammar. Spelling. Structure. Proofreading.

That is all.

Add your standard dose of turbulent grammar, spelling, structure, and proofreading.

As if that wasn't unstable enough, add a dose of self-insert and a random crossover.

It's a piece of cake to bake a dangerous story.

I don't think you realize how difficult this type of story is, given how you're still a beginner and readers' reactions to your work are mixed. At the VERY LEAST, before tackling something like this, I would highly advise you find an editor at the Looking For Editors group. Otherwise you're diving flank-first into danger, and that's not something I would recommend rookies to do.

All I need to do to get some tig ol' bitties is die?

Well shit where's my noose?

Your summary was like all over the place. A good summary should add a little mystery and a hook.

This story was all over the place. I'll just leave it at that.

absolutely disgusting

Location: Downtown Huston, Texas

Huston, Texas. Huston, Texas...

I have no words.

Your OC is another bland chump with no qualities to differentiate himself from the legion of nobodies this site has seen.
I'm sorry, but I have to add to that red bar.

I don't know much, but I do know that this story isn't good.

The story was everywhere and do some research. Downtown Houston, Texas. I know there's a downtown, but that's something that not crucial to the story and very specific in an unnecessary way. And I felt you rushed it and making Mike have that kind of armor.

I'll be honest a combination of all three is a good idea, but I would advice you stick to one set of armor instead of putting different kinds into one. The weapons I actually see that makes sense. If you had him/her have all three armor types then I see no wrong with that just never and I mean never put each faction armor into one.

Besides all of those errors, this story does have potential so I do hope you fix this up.

>>Wayward Shadow well that would be telling but, here is the title for the next chapter. Of a new life and where Mike meets the main six, but that won't be out soon for I have some other projects that I am working on. Some of them will be the start of some new adventures and continuing the tale of The Ghost of a Man. Though I will be reworking Just Perfect.

You should put more commas, like seriously. There are entire paragraphs without them.