• Published 6th Jul 2012
  • 16,225 Views, 381 Comments

Harbinger, randomness of George - LucidTech



Brother of discord shows up. Turns out he's actually a good guy. Just don't piss him off.

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The chapter that wrote itself.

It was lunchtime and the trio of immortals had joined together for a shared meal. Luna and Celestia sat at the head of the table, stylized chairs indicating their normal sitting location. George, meanwhile, sat atop the table in front of the sisters, his legs crossed in front of him with his plate of food set before him and Entropy securely atop his head. Screwball was absent, having gone back home to spend some time with her parents. The latest conversation had just died down and it was time for Luna to come up with a topic to discuss.

“So, George, my sister and I have only you and Discord to judge humans by. And well... I’m not sure if you two were randomly chosen for elements of chaos --just two humans plucked out of the barrel, if you will-- or if you were picked for your chaotic tendencies.”

“I’m not sure either. It is an interesting question.” George snapped his fingers and his current plate of food was replaced with deep-fried ice cream.

“Yes, well, I was wondering if...” She hung onto the last word as she contemplated what she had been about to say.

“If, what?” The man stabbed one of the deep-fried balls with his fork and lifted it toward his mouth slowly, careful to make sure that it didn’t fall off. Because that would be just disastrous. Can you imagine?

“If you could summon one for us to interview,” Luna finished, her gaze steady with George’s own. The man looked back at her, his jaw chewing the large orb of fattening food. After what seemed like forever, the man swallowed and glanced to Celestia.

She nodded and the man smiled. “Sure, I’ll just need some order and some extra chaos; should be easy over, or sunny side up, if you prefer.”

Entropy was the first to comply and began to pour chaotic energy into the man until the red sparks began to dance at the edge of his finger tips. “Last time you used order magic, didn’t you end up completely without any form of energy at all?” Celestia asked, eyeing the man carefully.

“Yea, but that was because I cast a spell that created solid food and objects out of nothing, quite strenuous. This time, I’m just grabbing someone and dragging them across a few dimensions, maybe a multiverse or two, much simpler.”

“I’ll have to take your word on that,” Celestia said, her horn lighting up white, as opposed to its normal yellow, and before too long, her magic was also coursing through the man’s body. After a pair of snaps that sounded like duck quacks, the seat to George’s right began to glow slightly. Motes of light began to come in from all sides and collect at the chair. In a great flash of luminescence, a person looking somewhat similar to George appeared there.

His hands were on the air in front of him, as if he had been using a typewriter or something along those lines. Dark messy hair decorated his head and a pair of thick glasses rested on his nose. The man looked at the trio in shock, then behind him, then back to the trio again.

“I- I- I-” he began, stuttering as his eyes stared unbelievingly at the group in front of him, fear and confusion obvious on his face.

“Hello, human,” Celestia said in greeting, nodding her head to the biped. “May I have the pleasure of knowing your name?”

He blinked rapidly before calming. “I’m, uhh... you can call me... that is to say... N64Fan or ‘that guy’ if you prefer.” His gaze moved to George and a slight smile danced across his face. “You know, if you were anyone else, I would think that this was some medically induced dream, or me having finally gone completely insane.”

“Oh, you know George? That’s interesting...”

“Not directly, per se. I know of him, if you will.” The man began to scratch the back of his head, still slightly perturbed by what he was seeing. “Umm... anyway... I’m assuming I was called, summoned, and or teleported here for a reason?”

“Oh yes. My sister and I had some questions. If you don’t mind answering, that is,” Luna said while Celestia eyed the odd man with a steady gaze.

“Well...” The man looked at the watch on his wrist. The second hand was holding perfectly still, as if afraid to move, much like the man who looked at it. “I seem to have some time on my hands, so shoot. I might not be able to stay too long, though.”

“I’ll start, if you don’t mind,” Celestia said, receiving a nod from George and Luna. “I’ve been pondering as to the political machinations of your world, as George seems to enjoy the idea of controlled anarchy.” The immortal man placed his hand over his heart as if wounded and began to wilt backward.

“Well, we’re all kinda split off from one another. The lands are divided by large oceans and as such, we’ve collected into our own countries, each with different politics and policies. Emperors, kings, presidents, and yes, even anarchy in some cases. But despite it all, I like to think that we have a kind of, empathy for other people. Regardless of how different they look.”

“I see. That’s interesting.” Celestia nodded and began to munch idly on a sandwich while she contemplated the answer she had received.

“And what about the rebels? Have they destroyed the death star yet?”

“Many, many times.” N64Fan said with a slow nod.

“May I take the next one, George?” Luna seemed excited after the somewhat long answer the man had given her sister. Perhaps she would get an answer of her own that would sate her curiosity. George acknowledged her and Luna started her question. “I was wondering about the arts, and you, specifically, in regards to them.”

“Well, uhh...” The man was looking around the room a bit, sweat starting to form on his brow. “Well, it seems to me that we have quite the imagination. If you can dream it up, someone has probably drawn something similar to it. If not, then I can assure you that someone will. With the same applying to writing, and poems, and just about everything else.”

“And you, specifically?” Luna asked, nodding at his previous answer as well as towards him, asking him to continue.

The sweat began to quicken its production. “I write stories.”

“Oh, that’s interesting. An author. May I ask what kind of stories?”

“Ahahaha, haha, ha.” He coughed into his hand, his fake laugh dying out far more quickly than he would have liked. After a moment where he seemed to be rethinking his answer, he spoke up. “I write dark and comedic stories for the most part.”

“That’s an odd combination.”

“I like to think that I have a slight dissociative personality disorder,” the man said, a surprising amount of pride filling his statement, as if purposefully spitting in the face of the fact that ‘dissociative’ and ‘disorder’ are not usually words that inspire happiness and pride in their bearer.

“That sounds like something you should have a doctor look at. It seems like it could be quite serious. Is there a reason you haven’t had it looked at? Are there no hospitals where you live?”

“No, there are plenty, I assure you. I just kind of enjoy it.” He smiled and reached across the table to grab a celery stick off a plate before munching on it somewhat idly.

“Enjoy it?” Luna asked, curious as to what exactly he meant.

“Well, without it, I don’t think I’d be half the writer I am currently. Like fish slapping. Where would humanity be without fish slapping, hmm?”

“I... don’t... know?”

“Probably a lot less funny, that’s where.”

“I see. Interesting,” Luna said in understanding. Now that she thought about it, it made perfect sense, in the same way that George made perfect sense.

Slowly, N64Fan turned to face George, fear upon his now pale face at the prospect of what the unpredictable chaos god might ask of him. George returned the gaze, a malevolent grin upon his face as if to cause the man more stress, then asked his question. “On a scale of one to ten, what’s your favorite letter?”

“A square,” he said, reflecting on how he would have one of his characters answer the question.

“Ah, good choice, good choice.” George nodded and leaned back slightly, careful not to fall over from having nothing to rest on, and turned his gaze to the ceiling.

Silence fell, each of the trio thinking about the answers they had received from the man. “Well, if that’s all, I really should be-” A deep cough cut the guest off and he looked toward the leather hat atop George’s head.

“Aren’t you forgetting me?”

“O-occasionally, why do you ask?” the man said hurriedly. “That is to say, um... what is your question?”

“It’s a pretty simple question. I was just wondering if you were ever planning on doing anything with the Techno-Babble universe you created.” The evil grin of the hat seemed to widen as the man fell into a panic once again. Each of the immortals turned to watch the man as he started to stumble over his words and actions. He began to tap the table as he fought with various different emotions that ran through his body before finally deciding to ignore the question altogether.

“Oh, would you look at the time. I really should be going.” He glanced at his watch, which still hadn’t moved since his arrival. “Not to say that I haven’t enjoyed this. It’s been fun, I just really should get back.”

“Oh, of course. George, can you send him back, please?” Celestia said. “Thank you for your time, N64Fan.”

“Umm, before you do, one more thing.” Each of the immortals and the hat looked to him as he decided to ask something of one specific pony in the room.

“Yes?” the white alicorn asked, giving him the permission to continue.

“Celestia, can you promise me something?”

“If I can.”

“Can you promise not to get in a war with the zebras about coal and gemstones? Please? It’s just, something tells me that would end very badly and then stuff would be wonky and then... umm... death. Anyway, can you promise me that?”

“Of course.” Her kind smile decorated her face and the man felt much more at ease, despite the evil smiling hat still glaring holes into him.

“Thanks.” There was a flash of red light as the chaos magic triggered once again and the man disappeared, completely gone from the room as he was sent back to do whatever he had been doing before.

“Sister, do you have any idea what he was talking about?” Luna asked after the man had disappeared.

“I haven’t a clue, but I prefer to avoid wars at all cost. So, it should be an easy promise to keep.”

“Indeed,” Entropy said, breaking out into chuckles as something struck him as funny.

“What’s Entropy laughing about?” Luna inquired, looking at George.

“I have absolutely no idea. He says that when I take chaos magic from him, he can see into a universe that isn’t ours. But I think he’s just experiencing something similar to blood loss.” The hat broke into a laugh once again and George paused.

“Wait a minute. Entropy, I’m supposed to be the one who laughs maniacally, and then you are supposed to talk to everyone about what I find so funny. We can’t just switch roles like this. It will confuse people. Most specifically, me.”

“I’m sorry, George. I didn’t mean to. I’m a bit out of sorts right now. I don’t want to confuse you, as that might lead to an unnecessary Fallout between us.” The hat’s grin widened once more, but he managed to resist the urge to laugh at his own pun while the other three people in the room merely shrugged.

“It’s okay, buddy. I could never stay mad at you. After all, what’s a mad chaos god who can screw people over with a glare, without his talking magical hat that can stare into other dimensions?”

“Sheogorath?” the hat asked, the chuckles gone, but the humorous tone still hanging in the air.

“Oh, good one. Didn’t even think of that.”

Author's Note:

My username used to be "N64Fan." So if you're completely lost, maybe that'll help. Probably not though, sorry about that.