The Fourth Good-bye
Twilight was on her knees in front of the Royal Throne. She held her front hooves together in a pleading gesture. Her face was covered in tears.
"Please, Princess Celestia. I know you can do it. All you have to do is use a bit of your magic. Otherwise she's going to die."
"No," Celestia's voice wasn't loud, but it was firm.
Twilight walked on her knees a bit, moving a few inches closer to the Throne. "Please, I beg of you. Save her. I will do whatever you ask of me."
Celestia's face was expressionless. "No."
Twilight prostrated herself in front of the tall Alicorn, her voice almost sobbing. "I am your subject as it is, but I will go beyond my duty if necessary. I will be your slave or your toy. But please, PLEASE SAVE HER, PLEASE!" She couldn't contain the pain anymore and she broke down and cried.
"Twilight, the answer will always be no."
Twilight didn't even lift her face from the floor. Her voice was broken and interrupted by sobs. "You could do it if you wanted to. You are the most powerful magical being in Equestria. You did it with me. It wouldn't even take much from you, I'm sure."
Princess Celestia let Twilight cry on the ground for several minutes. Twilight's sobs and howls became very erratic, even violent. Her body shook with spasms that accompanied her wails.
After a long while, Twilight calmed herself enough to talk again. "I'd give you my life, my eternal life in exchange if that's what you asked of me," she said among hiccups.
Celestia waited a few moments before talking. "Twilight, my answer is still the same. I'm letting you know so you don't get your hopes up. But I'm curious. If I changed my mind, what would you have me do?"
Twilight looked up, her face a mess. "Cure her."
"And then what?"
"And then she could live a normal life."
"A life without disease is hardly normal and her condition is not magical. My powers are probably not going to be of use. But even if I cured her, there's no guarantee that she won't get another fatal disease. What then? Would you have me save her again?"
"Yes, if you would." answered Twilight, adding quickly the second part of the phrase.
"And then what? No matter what I did, there'd be a point where she would die."
"Make her immortal then," said Twilight with watered eyes. "She's a Unicorn. I think there's still time for her to take her through the same training I did. I'd do whatever I can to help."
"Such a transformation is not meant for everybody. But just for the sake of argument, if I made her an Alicorn, would that satisfy you?"
Twilight's first impulse was to say yes, but she managed to stop herself and think deeply first.
"I would like to say that I would like if you could extend immortality to Applejack as well, but I know that's too much to ask and it's probably not even possible."
Princess Celestia stayed silent, letting Twilight deal with her own thoughts for a few moments, before she spoke again.
"And out of all the ponies in Equestria, these two, your close friends when you moved to Ponyville, would get to live forever. May I ask why you didn't consider including your brother in this exclusive group?"
Twilight looked down. "My brother has lived a fulfilling life. He's fallen in love and had a child and seems to be more able to cope with his nature. Of course I would like to include him, but I know it's too much to ask."
"So, even your brother doesn't take priority over your friends if you're forced to choose. But tell me, why do you want me to save Rarity and Applejack from death? What do you get from it?"
"I love them. I have many fond memories of times spent with them. They bring something unique to my life that nobody else does. Plus I've lost three friends already and it hurts like hell."
"Losing someone dear is very painful, and I have felt the pain that you're feeling right now every time that one of my subject dies. But what about Rarity and Applejack's pain? What will happen when it's Sweetie Belle or Big Mac's turn to die?"
Twilight had no answer. She had come to beg for Rarity's life and she wasn't prepared for those questions.
Princess Celestia spoke on, "Twilight, turning a pony into an Alicorn is not a simple feat. It involves much more than hard work and studying. I could see that you were special from a very early age; you had raw talent that is found in one of a million ponies. Do you remember when your magic was measured against the magic of another Unicorn for the first time?"
Twilight wondered for a moment what Princess Celestia was talking about. Then her mind brought back a memory of an event that seemed far and distant now. She thought of the blue unicorn with the silver mane who came to Ponyville bragging about how she was the greatest and most powerful Unicorn in all Equestria. Twilight hadn't heard about her in ages and wondered what she was doing now. Was she even alive?
Celestia continued to talk before Twilight could say anything, "The truth is that while Trixie bragged about her powers too much, she actually was a talented magic-user. She bested three of your friends without any effort. She was no match for an Ursa Minor, but then again no Unicorn would be. Yet back then, when you were still inexperienced in the ways of magic, you were able to neutralize the creature.
"Even if I were to turn Trixie into an Alicorn, it would be almost impossible. She just doesn't have what it takes, much less Rarity, and Applejack even less so. Furthermore, there is more than magic that makes an Alicorn. You have intelligence and discipline. You strive to learn and improve. You care and help others selfishly. That can be as rare as raw magical power. If anything, you are inexperienced and a bit naive, but those are precisely the kind of flaws that time takes care of. Lastly, there is a little bit of fate involved in the process, and that's something that I'm not going to tamper with. By the way, in case you wondered, Trixie is doing fine. She lives now in Mareseilles where she had a somewhat successful career as a dramatic actress. She is now known as the Great and Wonderful Granma by her 7 grandfoals."
Twilight felt defeated. She had run out of tears, but her heart felt heavy nevertheless.
"I'm sorry, Twilight, but the truth is that even if the process was applicable to Rarity, you'd just come back when it's Applejack turn to die. And then again the next time someone else you loved was in danger of dying. Or it would be Rarity who would come to beg at my throne, or Applejack, or any of their friends and relatives that had been given such a special gift, begging me to grant it to someone else."
Twilight raised her head "Fine, then please try to save only Rarity. I do not care how difficult it is. I'll be with her day and night to give her the best chance I can. If I fail, then so be it."
"Twilight, I know you have the best intentions, but in your desperation and pain, you're not realizing the selfishness of your acts. Have you even asked Rarity if she'd agree to it?"
Twilight's response died in her mouth. She hadn't even thought about talking to Rarity about it. She had just gone to Princess Celestia to solve the problem herself.
Princess Celestia continued to speak. "Now you'll say that you'll discuss it with Rarity first and you'll only do it if she agrees. She might, but is it a fair question to ask her in her condition? Moreover, would she be willing to sacrifice her limited time in the pursuit of an unlikely goal?"
Twilight sighed, as she realized the implications of what she was asking for.
Princess Celestia continued, "Not to mention that you'd be condemning her to an eternity of seeing her loved ones die."
Those words hit Twilight hard. Her sadness turned into anger. She gritted her teeth before replying.
"YOU! YOU TALK ALL MIGHTY AND PROUD! BUT YOU NEVER ASKED ME!"
Princess Celestia remained impassive and emotionless as Twilight screamed at her.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. RARITY MIGHT HAVE DIED BEFORE ME JUST THE SAME! BUT NOW I WILL GET TO SEE EVERYPONY THAT I LOVE, EVERYPONY THAT I CARE, JUST WITHER AND DIE FOR ETERNITY! YOU DECIDED IT WITHOUT CONSULTING ME. YOU CHOSE A LITTLE FILLY, FILLED IT WITH DREAMS AND CONDEMNED HER TO ETERNAL PAIN!"
Princess Celestia responded without missing a beat. "It was a decision that was hard to make, just as it is hard to see every one of my subjects go. Believe me Twilight when I say that I understand your pain. I have experienced many times over what you have experienced three times already. But choosing a princess to help me rule and provide personal assistance to my subjects in specific areas of the kingdom, well, that's also part of my duty. I can't undo what I've done, but I..." for the very first time, Princess Celestia lowered her head in front of Twilight "...apologize. I'm truly sorry. I hope one day you will forgive me, but if you don't, I will understand."
Having seen Princess Celestia ask for forgiveness sobered Twilight a bit, although she still felt uncomfortable. She felt the need to change the subject, having other questions that she wanted answered. "I would like to know," said Twilight, after composing herself a bit, "why you didn't tell me about the prohibition about celebrating my birthday."
Princess Celestia raised her head again before speaking. Her voice wasn't stern anymore, but caring, "Knowledge is a powerful tool and it is not something that should be shared lightly. Protecting our subjects also means mastering the art of when to give and when to restrain knowledge. And when you decide to share it, you have to judge the character of the pony you share it with.
"While I see great power and potential in you, I also see a pony who is not wise in the ways of the world. That has nothing to do with your intelligence and indeed you are smarter than most ponies. But you just have been too sheltered and too dependent on your knowledge from books to learn the lessons that only experience can teach. Even Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, for all their immature behavior, understood real life better, and so I decided to trust your friends more than you. I also knew that your nature would not force you to push the issue with others and thus I figured that I shouldn't act if the result I looked for was going to happen anyway. You may say that if you had known, you would have understood, but you would be saying it from the perspective of today.
"Once your first friends and relatives, the ones that knew you as an Unicorn, pass away, then for everyone else you will always have been you, just like I have always been Princess Celestia to you. They wouldn't know how it all started, they wouldn't question it, and they would be at peace, accepting their brief lives as natural as our eternal ones.
But it seems that I made a mistake in judgement, for despite all my arrangements, you still found out about my prohibition. I'm afraid that living with our mistakes and their consequences is also part of our burden. May I know who was the pony that broke the prohibition?"
Twilight looked down and to the side, unable to face Princess Celestia.
"I understand," Princess Celestia said. "You don't have to betray your brother and nothing shall happen to him. I'm sure he will not speak about this anymore."
Twilight opened her mouth. "How...?"
"I try to learn as much as I can about my subjects, which is why I need capable princesses that can be on the ground and serve as my eyes and ears. I also have experience and have learned to read certain cues, like a broken voice or a furtive glance. Moreover, your brother is no ordinary pony. He is Captain of my Royal Guard, husband of one of my princesses, and brother of my hoof-picked apprentice. He's someone I've kept an eye on attentively."
Princess Celestia sighed before continuing, "but back to your original request. I simply cannot grant it. While I don't expect you to accept my decision, I hope you understand it or will understand it someday, when it's your turn to use your best judgement and make a decision that will impact the life of a pony."
Twilight closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down. Her body and mind were full of contradicting emotions. She spoke again after a few moments "What happens to ponies when they die?"
"Everything ends for them," answered Princess Celestia right away.
"There's no afterlife?"
"I've looked at every myth and every legend. I've visited every sacred place. I've tested every claim of talking to spirits or ghosts. I've found nothing but wishful thinking at best and blatant fraud at worst. Moreover, there is no logical basis to even think that an afterlife is possible. Ponies who die simply cease to exist, the memories of them slowly fading away. After a while, Rarity will be a memory that will only you and I will share."
Twilight thought of Rarity's life, all her achievements, her fame, her designs. She wasn't an Alicorn, but she was much more than just an average pony. The press and the public knew her as Miss Fashionista. In the highest levels of Equestrian society, she was the pony everypony should know. She would be remembered long after she died. Yet, with time, she would become just an entry in some fashion book. Then Twilight thought about Rainbow Dash, who had died at the peak of her popularity. She had been the champion of the town and one of the greatest Wonderbolts in history, yet nopony spoke of her anymore. The hospital that was supposed to honor her eventually ran out of donors and had to close. Still, despite Rainbow's short but spectacular career, Twilight couldn't help but think that her fondest memories of Rainbow Dash were when they sat down to discuss the latest Daring Do book. Rainbow Dash's taste for reading was something pretty much only Twilight had known and cared about.
"I don't know what to say. I don't even know what to think. I... need some time alone to think about all this," said Twilight.
"Take all the time you want," responded Princess Celestia, with Twilight not missing the depth of the statement. "I will be here in case you need to speak to me again."
Twilight was almost out of the throne room when Princess Celestia spoke again.
"I will not order you to keep this conversation private, but I strongly suggest you to do so. Mortal ponies do not know about these matters. They must not know about them if they are to lead happy lives. Knowledge of this kind can only hurt them. Just think of how much our talk hurt you. Unlike you, they don't have an eternity to recover and learn to live with it. Moreover, your friend Rarity is going through a difficult ordeal. Do not make it even harder on her than what it already is."
Twilight raised her head, but didn't turn it around to look at the Royal Alicorn.
"Don't worry Celestia, I will keep our words private," said Twilight and left the room.
*****
During the following weeks, Twilight got more and more depressed. She tried to visit Rarity as often as possible but the white Unicorn had decided to go out with a bang and kept working as hard as she had always done, if not even more, leaving her little time for visits. There were no reports of her disease in the newspapers, but Twilight knew it was a matter of time.
Twilight tried to bury herself in her work, but her conversation with Princess Celestia kept resonating in her head, her words repeating themselves over and over. Twilight didn't have a real rebuttal against her tutor's arguments, but she wasn't satisfied with the answers she had received. She couldn't shake off the feeling that while Princess Celestia was right, there was more to life than just dying and ceasing to exist. Otherwise, life as she understood it was just so cruel, so unfair. Ponies lived and died like a match being lit, emitting heat and fire for a few seconds, and then being thrown into the garbage. And she would see it happening over and over and over again.
Slowly, she began to lose hope. Everything felt so pointless. She started to neglect her work and just read stories to numb her mind. After a while, she developed the habit of sleeping for long hours, trying to escape the feeling of despair. Finally, one afternoon, when neither books nor sleep felt enough anymore, she decided to get stupid drunk. She bought three bottles of cheap liquor and went home. She thought about locking the entrance to the castle, but nobody visited her much anyway, so she left it open. She thought of Pinkie Pie and how much pain the pink pony must have been in as she opened her first bottle and started to drink.
Not being used to alcohol, Twilight felt the effects of the drink almost immediately. After only half a bottle, she was completely drunk. However, something was wrong. The alcohol was supposed to numb the pain, but it didn't. She decided to drink more in the hopes of achieving the effect she wanted. She was about to finish the bottle when she lost consciousness and collapsed on the table.
"Princess Twilight," said a soft, almost imperceptible voice.
Twilight tried to raise her head, but it felt too heavy.
Great, I never get any visits except the day I decide to get senselessly drunk.
"Go away! I'm busy!" shouted Twilight.
"Princess Twilight," said the voice again, now closer and clearer. There was something familiar about it, but Twilight couldn't pin point exactly what. She wondered if the headache she was feeling and the sensation of everything moving around in all directions might be impairing her mind.
"Please go away! I'm not in a state to receive anyone right now. Please?" begged Twilight, still too drunk to move. She then realized her voice must have sounded slurry to whomever was coming, yet to herself, it sounded perfectly normal. She found this interesting, and then she found interesting that she was thinking about how her voice sounded differently to herself and to others, rather than thinking about the embarrassment of being discovered completely wasted.
It's like I don't care anymore. It still hurts, but all I can think is, so what?
Twilight wondered if this is why Pinkie Pie had become an addict. Being drunk didn't make the pain go away, but it made it all seem so irrelevant, so unimportant. In any case, it's not like she could move, so she just decided to wait there and let whomever came find her.
It can't be that bad, can it? I mean, it's not like we're in Canterlot and a Princess is going to decide to walk here unannounced.
"Princess Twilight, stand up. I need to talk with you," said the calm voice of Princess Luna, next to Twilight.
Of fucking course.
"Princess Luna, I am so honored of your sudden visit. I wish I had known about it in advance in order to receive you in the manner appropriate of your status, and not, you know, completely wasted with my head resting in a puddle of alcohol on the table," said Twilight.
Twilight thought about how much fun it was to be a smartass. With someone with a natural talent, and admittedly years of practice at making funny remarks, like Pinkie, alcohol would feel like a good option. You get to have some fun and not care about problems.
But the pain still doesn't go away.
The voice of Princess Luna, patient and calm, spoke again. "Princess Twilight, stand up. There is nothing that prevents you from moving other than the limitations of your own mind."
"More like the limitations of an alcoholic congestion," replied Twilight, then she giggled.
"Just wish it to go away," ordered Luna.
Twilight's nature made her obey and at once, she found that she felt healthy again. Her headache was gone and the world had stopped spinning. She was standing next to Princess Luna and in front of her she saw... herself, completely drunk with her head resting on a puddle of alcohol on the table.
"What is happening?" asked Twilight. "Am I...?"
"No, Princess Twilight, look at the stars," said Princess Luna pointing to a window, where the dark night was illuminated by thousands of sparkles in the sky. "You just fell asleep and started to dream. I sensed strong pain and looked for the pony who was feeling it. I never imagined it would be you I'd find."
Twilight looked at her physical body. She might have felt good for a few moments, but the Twilight that other ponies would see would be sad and pathetic.
"I'm sorry," apologized Twilight. "I'm sorry for the state you found me in and for making you spend your valuable time."
"There is no need to apologize," replied Princess Luna with a hint of a smile, that quickly disappeared as her worried face came back. "What is the matter? Is this about your friend Rarity?" she asked.
Twilight didn't know how to express all that she felt, so she went with the first thing it came to mind "Yes, in some part. I'm very upset by it."
"You are not just sad, but angry as well, are you not? Everything seems so," Princess Luna paused for a moment, "unfair?"
"Well, yes," admitted Twilight.
"Strong negative emotions are part of life, not just ours, but of normal ponies as well. We have to learn to deal with them and appreciate them for what they are; an indication that something or somepony we value is lost. But the pain also shows us how much better or lives are because of that pony, and for that we must be thankful. If we need to grieve, then we grieve for as long as we must. However, we must not let our negative emotions control us, or we will just hurt or even destroy, not only ourselves, but others around us."
"Have you ever gotten so desperate you turned to drinking?" asked Twilight, curious about what other Alicorns' experiences with alcohol had been like.
"I must admit that I was never a fan of the drink," answered Princess Luna. "However, I have fallen prey to negative feelings. I too once thought that life, the world, reality itself was unfair. I believed that I was cheated by my own sister of the admiration and respect I deserved. I grew resentful and bitter, refusing to accept that ponies just followed their healthy nature and slept at night. Instead, I looked for ways to justify my anger. I came to believe that I had one Royal Duty, and that was to destroy my sister. For that, I was banished to the moon for 1,000 years. I could have used that time to think about my actions, to reconsider what I had done. But no. I came back set on revenge. The rest of the story you know very well."
Twilight gave a timid nod. "I remember. It was my first true ordeal and I appreciate that you do not hold my actions to stop you against me. But there is more than just Rarity's situation that upsets me. What is our purpose? Or should I say, the purpose of ponies? Do they really just die and disappear? There's no afterlife? Are they just... gone?"
"Have you talked with my sister about this?" inquired Princess Luna.
"I have, but I'm afraid I can't share that conversation," admitted Twilight.
"If you have, then I have no wisdom to share," said Princess Luna as she closed her eyes and lowered her head momentarily. "I do not know anything that she doesn't know about the subject. I just take what my sister says as true and focus on my duties and keeping my temperament in control. I'm afraid I can't be of any help in that regard.
"However, I do want to warn you against letting your negative emotions taking control over you. I will not judge you, but you can see now how you look to others when you lose your discipline. In a few hours, you'll wake up and if you're wise, you will have learned a lesson from tonight. That's as much as I can do, for while I can visit ponies in their dreams, I can't interfere with their decisions."
Twilight looked at herself again. Her body was now snoring. She could smell the stink of alcohol.
"Did you warn Pinkie Pie as well?" Twilight finally asked.
"I did," replied Luna, "many times indeed. But she would always find a justification for her behavior or an excuse to break her word to not drink again, not that I ever demanded it. Moreover, she felt lonely. I begged her to reconsider, but she told me something for which I had no reply.
Princess Luna stopped and looked at the moon for a moment before continuing.
"She told me that I had a lot of nerve telling her to let go of her resentment when I never let go of mine easily. She pointed out that even after a thousand years away, I had come back, not reformed, but even more resentful, and that it had taken the most competent student of Celestia, aided by the most powerful magic in Equestria, as well as her friends to humble me and force me to change my ways. I had no argument and no answer for that. I left her alone from that night on, although occasionally I went to her dreams to see her from afar, feeling sad as I saw her destroy herself. I sometimes berate myself for not checking on her more often. I can't help but wonder that if I had been with her the day of her death, she would be alive today."
Twilight turned her head to avoid looking directly at Princess Luna. She now felt guilty too. She remembered having talked about visiting Pinkie Pie, but hadn't until Ms. Cake had come to get her.
Princess Luna continued, "While it was Pinkie Pie's decision to ignore me, I still consider her death a failure of mine that I will have to live with."
Twilight's sadness hadn't gone away, but the presence of the Princess of the Night had calmed her.
"Thank you for your words and thank you for coming. I think I'll be fine now," said Twilight.
The image of Princess Luna started to get blurry and hazy. "When you wake up, you will not feel well. Be sure to take care of yourself."
As Princess Luna disappeared, Twilight wondered what the proper thing to do was. Should she say good-bye or wave? She then thought of a question that she just had to ask.
"Princess Luna," hurried Twilight. "I'm sorry to ask this, but I must know. You were banished to the moon for 1,000 years because you threatened to bring eternal darkness to Equestria. How do you deal with the regret?"
Princess Luna's image was already so hazy that was unrecognizable, but Twilight could have sworn that something in her voice indicated that she was smiling.
"I don't. While it was a mistake that I won't repeat, it was worth every minute."
*****
Twilight was sitting by herself, eating her piece of cake. The wedding of Fluttershy's daughter had been very very simple, but touching. There were plenty of ponies and pretty much everypony knew each other. She couldn't help but compare Shy Flower's wedding with Rarity's, which had been pretty much the opposite; one was simple, the other luxurious; one was full of relatives, the other had had celebrities.
Speaking of Rarity, Twilight turned around to look at her. She was sitting next to Applejack at one of the tables. The two mares enjoyed each other's company and talked and talked about the young ponies of the new generations. Rarity looked fine, despite her disease. While she still worked hard, she had changed her diet and made sure she slept 8 hours a day. To someone who didn't know better, she just looked a bit older and much thinner than usual for her age. Twilight was sure that most adults at the reception knew why she wore a wig but were kind enough to pretend they didn't. Seeing her chatting and laughing with Applejack made Rarity look normal. There certainly was no lack of young foals running around to comment about, not to mention their competition to establish who had the best brother-in-law.
As expected, Rarity's marriage had failed. She had been too busy to spend time with Flam, just like in all of her other relationships. Eventually, he had asked for a divorce. Rarity agreed to it and apologized for her actions, offering Flam half of her money for his patience and lost time. To everybody's surprise, Flam refused the money, although Rarity had made arrangements so that his commercial ventures always had funding, without her direct interference.
Rarity had certainly lived up to her generosity element, not just with Flam, but with Fluttershy's daughter as well. She had tried to cover the expenses for the reception and had politely been rejected by both Fluttershy and Shy Flower. Rarity had then insisted to pay for extra security (and a couple of bribed Royal Guards in civil clothes), arguing that she wasn't missing this wedding for the world and that she wanted to make sure that paparazzi would be kept from disturbing the event. Shy Flutter had initially rejected this offer as well, but Applejack had talked her into accept it, being wise enough to see how such security would keep the event private and pleasant. Although Twilight also believed that Applejack had done so to be able to enjoy the company of her old friend.
Twilight ate another bite of her cake as she thought at how different and enriching the lives of her friends were. However, some part of her was upset that all of them, not just Rarity, would be gone and forgotten eventually. And she would stay and see it all happen again and again and again. The answers Princess Celestia had given her hadn't been satisfying.
"Or maybe Princess Celestia just lied or decided to keep me ignorant. You know, for my safety. Princess Luna believes her, but it seems it's out of convenience than conviction. Can I really trust what Princess Celestia says to me anymore?" muttered Twilight as she ate.
"Oh my, can this really be true? Princess Celestia's favorite protégée questioning the words of her personal tutor?" said a voice in a slightly mocking tone.
Twilight turned around. Next to her sat one of the most handsome stallions she had ever seen. He was perfect in every way, except for one thing. One of his pupils was bigger than the other one.
"You! What are you doing here?" Twilight jumped away and aimed her horn at the pony.
Snap! Twilight heard the sound of fingers clicking, (which was odd, since stallions don't have fingers). The stallion had disappeared but in his place there was now the long and tall figure of Discord, who wore a huge grin.
"Do not worry my dear princess," Discord added a bit of mocking tone to the last word. "Everyone... Oops, I mean, everypony is now frozen and will not remember what happens next."
Twilight looked around. Everpony was frozen inside an ice cube, immobile. She was furious. "You have some nerve coming here and messing with my friends. How did you escape from the statue?"
"Oh, Twilight, Twilight. I always seem to fall on your bad side, even before I say anything, don't I? Sometimes I wonder if an eternity will pass and I will still not get on your good side," said Discord, as he ate a bite of Twilight's cake, which was somehow now in his possession. "Who made this? It's delicious! Although not as good as the cupcakes that Pinkie used to bake."
"Answer the question, Discord! How did you escape from your stone prison?"
"Oh, that," Discord rubbed his chin, "You really think that your cute stone spell can restrain me, don't you? Oh well, I can't say I'm surprised. The truth is that I can escape that form at any time. However, fret not. The statue is still there, intact. Maybe we can place it in the town square for the new generations of ponies to see. Is there anymore of that cake? I would like seconds and maybe a slice to take home."
Twilight narrowed her eyes, "Princess Celestia will hear about this and you'll be sorry, just you wait."
"Oh, but she knows I can escape at any time, my dear princess"" said Discord. "Hasn't she told you?"
Twilight Sparkle opened her mouth but said nothing. She just gritted her teeth a bit harder.
"My, she hasn't! That's so funny," Discord laughed. "Oh Twilight, don't look at me like that. It's not my fault that Celestia keeps you in the dark. Hasn't she given you the 'I keep you ignorant for your own good' speech'?" Discord roared in laughter.
"What do you want, Discord?" Twilight was livid.
Discord calmed down a bit before he replied. "Oh, the mistrust, the derision! Are we to be destined to be enemies" Discord suddenly appeared behind Twilight and whispered firmly into her ear "forever?"
Twilight jumped away one more time. Then she realized.
"You don't die either!"
"No, at least not in the sense ponies do. So, what about that cake?"
Twilight was puzzled. "What do you want from me?"
"Ah, here we go again," said Discord, putting his hand on his forehead. "You're lucky I have learned the grinding art of patience and I suggest you practice that skill too. When you have a lot of time, it's something that comes in handy. I do not want anything from you. It's just that you're the first of Celestia's princesses to ever question her and I figured we could chat a bit. But if you really want me to leave, I'll leave." Discord poised his fingers high in the air, ready to snap them. "I have some light reading to do anyway."
"The first of Celestia's Princesses?" Twilight asked. "What do you mean?"
"Bye, Twilight!" Discord pointed with one hand at his other hand with his fingers ready to snap.
"Fine, you win. Please stay."
A table with an empty plate and a fork appeared in front of Discord. He pointed away with one of his fingers. "I believe the cake is over there."
After Discord had finished three slices of cake, eaten a bag of potato chips, drunk two bottles of soda, and broken a piñata which Twilight was sure wasn't around before, he sat with Twilight at a table.
"Anything else? Can we talk now?"
"Oh, just one more thing. A small favor that will cost you nothing and will take just mere seconds for you to do."
"And what is it?"
Discord extended a hand with a small glass. "A little glass of water, please."
"Oh, no. I know how this one goes."
Discord put the glass behind his back and shrugged his shoulders. "Fine. Leave a poor friend thirsty then."
Twilight's curiosity was bigger than her frustration. "Now, tell me about these other Princesses."
"You know, despite your high intelligence, you can be very ignorant about anything that doesn't come in a book."
"Discoooord," Twilight's voice was exasperated.
"Ok, ok," Discord cleared his voice. "From time to time, and we're talking Alicorn time here, Celestia finds a young filly and turns it into an Alicorn under her command. She always selects fillies and never colts and calls them princesses. I think this is her own personal preference, but I can't confirm it either way.
The process involves some test that she sets up. However, it is a true test and fillies that fail it will not become Alicorns. The magical talent of a pony is important and the pony must study and prepare herself from a young age. Your friend Rarity will most likely not pass the test, so Celestia isn't lying to you about that."
Twilight couldn't help but ask, "How do you know what she told me?"
"Oh, it's a little magical spell called deduction, along with a sparkle of familiarity," Discord lifter a hand with a framed black and white photo of young versions of him and Celestia, smiling and showing teeth braces. "Like I said, this is not the first time this has happened and Celestia and I have know each other for quite a while, you know?" He placed the frame behind his back before continuing.
"Celestia claims that in addition to talent and the test, there is some soft of fate involved. I do not believe it and I abhor the idea that something has been destined to happen. Moreover, if it was fated to happen, wouldn't all ponies pass the test?"
Twilight absorbed all this information, trying to understand it. "What happened to those other princesses? Where are they?" she asked.
"Why, they're dead, obviously!" answered Discord.
"Dead? But, how? If they become Alicorns they can't die!"
"They can't age. But there is nothing stopping an Alicorn from destroying or killing herself off. By the way, I strongly suggest you to stay away from alcohol. It's a bad habit to have when you have a lot of time. Plus it makes you look really pathetic."
Twilight opened her eyes wide, "Have you been spying on me?"
"Spying is such an ugly word. I prefer the term 'keeping up with my friends.'"
"You frustrate me."
"Oh, perhaps you want me to leave now."
Twilight resisted the urge to growl at Discord. "No, please stay." She sighed. "So these princesses just kill themselves off? Why?"
"It's not that easy being immortal, as you probably have begun to notice; stress, questioning, anger, hopelessness, resentment, spending eternity living with your mistakes and guilt, and of course, losing every single loved one you have; you've started to see the drill and it just goes on, and on, and on. Most princesses eventually do something to self-destruct or attempt something extremely foolish. There are the ones that simply decide that it's time for them to go. Luna isn't the first one that has challenged Celestia's rules and she was banished to the moon for it. Others have been even more direct or more stupid. There have been a few rare ones that decide to go down spectacularly. I must say that there have been a couple that were very original, although Celestia hates them because they're the ones that cause her the most trouble. I personally just sit back and enjoy the show, since it's going to happen anyway. And then there are the ones who die in an honestly unexpected accident."
Twilight thought of Princess Luna, dealing with her resentment and challenging Princess Celestia's reign. Her mind automatically went to her sister-in-law and her niece.
"Wait a minute!" Twilight said. "Princess Cadance fell in love and had a baby!" She then paused for a second. "And the baby is growing!"
"Ah, I don't know how to put this in terms that you will not find offensive." Discord tipped his finger tips against each other. "Candance is one of Celestia's biggest disappointments. She was chosen as a young filly, but as she grew up, she became a typical teenager interested in cute things and handsome boys and neglected her studies. Princesses are supposed to help Celestia know about important events that might affect the lives of ponies or change the natural order of things. Cadance did the exact opposite; she started a romantic relationship with your brother, something Alicorns are not allowed to do, for obvious reasons, and then she got engaged and informed everyone about it. There was nothing Celestia could do without looking like a tyrant who was getting in the middle of true love. And then Cadance got pregnant and had a baby, making things worse. You don't know it but Celestia had a very, very, very stern talk with Cadance after that, and you can be sure there will not be a second baby." Discord thought for a moment and then added. "Actually, now you know it, since I just told you."
"Flurry Heart!"
"Yes, that sweet little bundle of flurry cuteness is actually a first in history. From what I've seen so far, she will grow and die like her father will, but at an incredibly lower speed due to her mother's blood. She's got a lot of physical strength from his father's genes and a powerful magic abilities from her mother's genes. However, neither parent is particularly smart and Cadance has proven herself to be unwise, so I there's a strong possibility that that baby lives long enough to deal with immortal issues and do herself off, like previous princesses. On the other hand, her aunt is extremely smart, even if a bit innocent in the ways of the world, so there's that. Believe me, Celestia is not making this mistake again and she's keeping that baby, and any influence that you might have on her, under her close watch. Do not be surprised if she takes Flurry as her pupil and trains her in her castle. You two are the biggest gamble in Celestia's game right now."
Discord was suddenly dressed in a croupier suit and was shaking a dice shaker. He let two dice roll on the table. The dice came up showing the heads of Flurry and Twilight.
Twilight analyzed all this information from Discord. Then she realized something.
"You mean I am not allowed to fall in love? Celestia hasn't told me of this either!"
Discord's croupier clothes disappeared as he grabbed back the dice. "And here I thought that the most important thing you'd notice is Celestia not wanting anypony to create untrue Alicorns. But to answer your point, why would she? It's not like it's likely to happen as things go now. Nopony meets the love of her live by sitting by herself in a castle reading books. From Celestia's point of view, there is no benefit of risking you getting upset when you are doing a fine job of staying single on your own. It's the same reason she didn't tell you about the prohibition to celebrate your birthdays."
"But you had a relationship with Fluttershy!" Twilight paused for a bit, then added "And then you were cruel to her! What was that about?"
Discord's face was serious, in a way that Twilight hadn't seen before. "That... was another first in time. Nopony else had ever wanted to be my friend before or fallen in love with me before. So I decided to give it a try at this relationship stuff. However, something happened. I actually fell in love. It was then that I could see that my relationship with Fluttershy wouldn't work. Our natures were too different. Not only I'm immortal, but my whole psyche is against stability and order. To thine own self be true, they say. I cannot be anything else than who I am, the same way your friend Rarity can't be anything else than who she is. Like Fluttershy, Rarity longed for a relationship and children, but if she had chosen that path, she would not have achieved her dream and would have felt incomplete for the rest of her life.
"Likewise, tea parties aren't for me, and while I guess I could indulge in them for a few years, that'd be lying to myself. Besides, Fluttershy could not afford to lose those years, unlike me. She deserved a normal life. So I acted distant and cold in the hopes that she would dump me. When she didn't, I started to act mean towards her; I mocked her and put her down constantly. I changed back to a draconequus so that I wouldn't be pleasing to her eyes. I made ridiculous demands and whined when she couldn't meet them or nitpicked any little thing I could find if she actually did. But nothing I did would make her dump me and I couldn't understand why.
"Then I realized what was happening. Fluttershy's idea of love was unrealistic, the kind of love that you find in love stories. She was an immature, and inexperienced young mare that knew little about love, and she had trouble standing up for herself to boot. I knew then that I had to do the one thing that would make her dump me: hurting the ones she took care of. Not that I actually hurt any of them, I just scared her enough to make her think I would. Don't look at me like that, what else could I have done?"
"You could have told her the truth!" Twilight answered sharply.
"Twilight, Twilight, you don't know what you're saying," Discord clicked his tongue. "That just opens a lot of questioning and perhaps an attempt to change things. Neither of which were likely to turn into anything good for Fluttershy and could have resulted in long time depression or anger in the worst of cases. With my way, she went on thinking she got rid of a bad person, matured a bit, and after a period of grief, was able to find love with one of her own. I must say that Big Mac made her much happier than what I would have done and she got to live a fulfilling life. Plus, I recommend that you do not give suggestions on love life to other beings when you haven't had any experience on the matter yourself."
Twilight didn't approve of Discord's actions, but she didn't think it was worth discussing the point anymore. Plus, there was another question that Twilight wanted to ask, but she wasn't sure if asking Discord, out of all people, would be a good idea. She hesitated a bit and asked anyway. "Why are we here? What is the purpose of ponies?"
"Purpose? There is no purpose for any of us. Everything in this life is the product of Chaos!" Discord raised his hands and fireworks emerged from behind him. "Celestia likes to pretend that there is an order to things and that she keeps control of what happens in Equestria. But it's all a sandcastle, which I like to poke here and there, just to see her rushing to cover the damage, trying to keep the castle from crumbling down. And it's not like I have to do everything myself, or even most of the work. Luna, Cadance, your brother, all of them have gone against Celestia's orders. Then you have your occasional threat, Sombra, Chrysalis, Tirek, you know. And while you haven't been through one, there is the occasional tornado, earthquake, or other natural disaster. Don't forget, there is also the fact that anypony, even the most loyal of her subjects, the most strategic of her chess pieces on the board, can die at any time."
"There is no afterlife then."
"That's what Celestia claims, but nobody knows. That is also the beauty of Chaos; everything is possible. Just because Celestia has researched every claim or evidence, that doesn't mean there aren't any she hasn't heard about, or that there is just no link to an afterlife from this world. And while it is possible that ponies do disappear forever, who is to say there aren't any other possibilities? Maybe they all go to some pony magical island where there is no more suffering and meet their families. Maybe they become stars and shine in the sky. Maybe they reincarnate and come back, starting life anew. Maybe they walk through a tunnel towards a light at the end of it for all eternity. Maybe they become characters in stories. The only thing we know is that we don't know."
Twilight suddenly realized that Discord had been standing in front of her, dressed in a business suit and using a pointing stick to show her images of his descriptions on a flipchart. He then collapsed the pointer stick in his hands. "Any questions? If not, I am afraid I must leave soon. You won't see me again in a while. I plan to stay in my 'prison' until after Fluttershy's grand children die. That should be enough to allow everyone to forget any hard feelings about my affair with her. He snapped his fingers and the business suit disappeared. Now, two pieces of baggage were on the ground on each of his sides.
There was one last thing that Twilight couldn't figure out "Why are you helping me?"
Discord threw back his head and covered his eyes with one of his hands. "Oh, will I forever have to live with this stigma, this mistrust? After I patiently answered all your questions and dispelled your doubts? Even going back willingly to my prison, from which I could have escaped at any time, is not enough?"
Twilight's eyes opened wide. "You put me in a dilemma! If I act on what you told me, I'd be going against Celestia's wishes. If I don't, I'd just be Celestia's tool."
"And no matter what you do, another wrench of potential Chaos has been thrown into the machine. I look forward to seeing what you decide to do." Discord snapped his fingers and disappeared.
Twilight looked around. The ice that had kept everypony frozen had disappeared and they all looked at Twilight with a puzzled look.
"Ah, sorry everypony. I think I had a drink too many," said a blushing Twilight as she walked away to the farthest empty chair she could find.
*****
Twilight was sitting at an open cafe outside the hospital. She had stayed by Rarity's side for the last hours, talking to her the little time that the Unicorn was awake. Rarity's body was tired and in pain, so she slept a lot. Twilight had gone out for a little while to have a drink and get some sun, mostly at the insistence of the doctor.
Twilight knew that Rarity's life was coming to an end soon. While the situation was tragic, there was something beautiful about it. Rarity had sacrificed some of her goals but she had achieved her biggest dream, just like Discord had said. Last time they had spoken about it, Rarity had few regrets about her life choices, the main one being having married Flam. Twilight was sad that all of Rarity's achievements would eventually be forgotten, just like Rainbow Dash's had been, but they held great meaning to the Unicorn and everyone who had been touched by her.
Suddenly, a huge shadow obscured the sun and ponies started to run away.
"Run for your lives!" said an old gray Pegasus with crossed eyes, who abandoned her half-eaten muffin as she tried to escape.
Twilight looked up and saw two huge winged creatures flying above Ponyville. Twilight had problems identifying what they were because they were blocking the sun and all she could see was shadows.
The creatures took a dive and landed right in front of Twilight with a huge thud. Twilight looked up at them and her jaw dropped.
"Hi, Twilight," said Spike. "You haven't changed a thing."
*****
Twilight's chat with Spike was short. She wanted him to speak with Rarity while he was in Ponyville as this was probably the last chance they'd get to talk. She asked the doctor to wake Rarity up and when he had refused, she ordered him to do so under her Royal Authority, even going so far as to threaten him to call the Royal Guard and have him banned to the moon if he disobeyed. She didn't know if she actually could do that and wondered for a second what she'd do if the doctor refused, but she figured that if she didn't know, the doctor wouldn't either. In any case, it worked and Rarity was delighted to learn that Spike was back.
Spike had grown so big by now that it wasn't possible for him to go into the hospital. The doctor suggested to have him speak through the window but Rarity insisted on being taken outside, bed and all, even if she had to carry the mattress herself. In the end, she was put on a wheelchair and taken out.
Rarity and Spike talked for a long time. He told her about his travels and his experiences in lands far away from Equestria. He spoke of his adventures and his search for his place in the world. He spoke about how he had tried to join dragon society but hadn't been able to fit in, not willing to let go of his pony upbringing completely, yet at the same time, he didn't belong in pony society either. Not that he hadn't kept some pony customs while adopting dragon ones. He explained to Rarity that, yes, it was true that dragons ate meat and in fact, he had some now and then. He admitted that his first prey had been Owlowiscious, who he had eaten in a moment of jealousy and weakness. Twilight flinched a bit when Spike said that, but she didn't think it was worth arguing over something that happened years ago and was part of being a dragon. Rarity listened with wonder at all that Spike was telling her, sometimes laughing, sometimes sighing.
Finally, Spike turned to the slightly smaller, but certainly not less scary pink dragon next to him. "Rarity, this is my girlfriend, Margarita. Margarita, this is Rarity, one of the kindest and most generous ponies that I know."
Rarity smiled as a tear fell down her cheek. "What a beautiful dragonnette you have found yourself, Spike." She then addressed the pink dragon. "Margarita, I'm sure you already know it, but Spikey-wikey is a wonderful guy and you are a very lucky girl. He has always been a darling to me and I'm sure he will make you very happy. Please take good care of him. It would mean a lot to me if you did."
"I will," said Margarita with her deep dragon voice.
After that, the doctor pointed out to Twilight (not without fear), that Rarity was too exhausted to continue talking. Applejack, who had been called and had arrived along with Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, agreed and convinced Rarity to rest, which she did. She was brought back to the hospital, where she quickly fell asleep.
Spike's visit was short, but he managed to spend some time with Applejack, Twilight, as well as the families of Big Mac, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle. He was sad to learn that Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were dead, but he was happy to meet Shy Flower and Big Flutter, as well as the foals and husbands of Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. All the ponies were delighted with Margarita, who turned out to be a sweetheart, and felt happy that Spike had found himself such a cute and sweet dragonette.
After a while, Spike announced that he and Margarita had to leave. They were getting hungry and didn't want to stay and let the younger ponies see how they ate. He spent a few minutes with Twilight, who was glad to see how big and handsome his former assistant had become and how he really seemed to be in a loving relationship.
Finally, it was time to say good-bye. Twilight hugged Spike as best as she could, given the difference in sizes. "Take care, Spike. Will I see you again?"
"Sure Twi," answered Spike cheerfully. "There is so much world for us to explore, but dragons live a very long time."
The comment reminded Twilight of the friends she had already lost.
"Spike, I've lost some of my dear friends already, at least one of them suddenly. I have learned that life can be gone in an instant and that anything that you don't say in time, will remain unsaid. So, I just want to tell you that I love you. You were much more than my assistant. You were my little brother."
She then turned to Margarita. "Margarita, I would like to ask you two favors. The first one is to take good care of this wonderful, wonderful guy. As you can see, everybody here loves him and has very fond memories of him. The second favor is to be as happy as you can be with him. It would mean the world to me if you did these two favors for me."
"Sure, Twilight. It'll be my pleasure."
The two dragons then jumped and took off, batting their great wings.
Twilight smiled. Spike had been very young when he had left, but his male charm and simple kindness had left a good impression on everyone that he had met. He was also in good company. Despite his extremely long lifespan, he would eventually be forgotten too, but that didn't seem to matter anymore. She felt as if as long as Spike had made a good impression in the lives of those he had interacted with, that's what counted.
Twilight went home, feeling at peace.
*****
Rarity died a few days after Spike's visit. She had been battling her disease for almost a decade. The night she passed away, everypony felt a sense of relief. Applejack remarked that she was finally resting, although Twilight could see that everypony else were finally able to stop worrying about her and were now able to move on with their own lives.
The ceremony was elegant in style, but simple in content. Rarity had made arrangements to have only her old friends and their families at her funeral, keeping the media away. During the funeral, Applejack had tried to give an eulogy for her old friend, but the emotion was too much for her and she had to interrupt it and sit down and cry. Applebloom had to improvise and finish it for her.
At the end of the ceremony, Twilight approached the casket with a bouquet of white gardenias that she had bought and lay them on it.
Good-bye my dear friend. You made a great impact in the world. But you made an even greater impact in everypony you met. You were really the pony everypony should know.
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Celestia needs to die, I am sorry but she what she has done is very evil. If anyone can beat Celestia it would be Twilight. Now let's see how Twilight stops this old nag.
This story is simply amazing. It has hit my feels with a sledgehammer and then shot them with a 45. Magum point blank.
It is very deep and with very well developed characters. I'm not a big fan of sad stories, but this one has something I really like. Perhaps is the way you tell the story. Perhaps is how the characters act. I don't know.
This definetly deserves way more views, and has earned a place in my Favourites. Keep it up, I can't wait for the next chapter.
8154421 I always expect your comments now every time I finish a chapter.
8154445
Celestia, the Alicorn that you love to hate.
Actually I'm glad that my fanfic elicits such strong emotions.
8154613
Well, what can I say? Your comment made my day.
One of the purposes of this fanfic is to learn how to write better and improve my writing. Your comment made me feel like I'm achieving that goal. I do need to edit the fourth chapter again because I saw that I overlooked some errors. I typically do that for each chapter after I publish it, since the first edit is not enough.
This has been a very fun project for me. Once I'm finished, I plan to make an audio of it. I'm already looking for volunteers for voice actors and actresses.
I would like to get more views, but I don't know how. i will think about it once I finish the story.
Once again, thank you for commenting and for taking the time to read my fanfic.
8155210
"Oh you were so kind to have Spike have his 'fare thee wells' unlike the movie Maretanic where the lady let her lover die a wet and icy death, If it wasn't for my career and illness I might of had a few foals with my Spikey Wikey"
wut?
Oh horse apples!
Spike! language!
As a ghost I'm quite fashionably spirited...
8155302
Just please put censors like you did in the other posts so as not to spoil the story.
8155323
8156100
Thanks, that was kind of you.
You made me realize that I should have used the spelling "Spikey-Wikey." I'll change it when I have time.
8156692 http://pre09.deviantart.net/e657/th/pre/f/2016/286/0/8/twilight_go_down_the_hole_by_hillbe-dakxn9o.jpg
8157903
Well, first of all, thank you for reading and reviewing my fanfic. I appreciate you spending your time to do so.
I haven't finished the editing. I don't have much free time and while I try to edit, I'm more focused on writing the story right now, while the creative "juice" is on. I do edit the chapters before publishing, but not enough. Also, some decisions were made in the later chapters, like the capitalization of pony races and I haven't made the corrections in the first chapters yet.
I did put a lot of effort into the story and learned a lot about writing. One of the things I was practicing was "show, don't tell," which creates sentences like the one you pointed out since it's my first time trying, but it's still much better than just saying "Twilight was angry." Of course, I understand that for the reader, it might not come through like that.
The chesspiece and storytelling are on purpose. I wanted each chapter to flow a bit differently and I also wanted to leave mostly what happened and let the readers make up their mind about the story. Again, I understand that for some readers, that's a turnoff.
I have also heard that some people think the characters are somewhat off. To be honest, since the story starts about 15 years after the show, I decided to take some liberties with their personalities. It's interesting that you say that the only one I got was Fluttershy because another reviewer told me that the only one I got was Spike.
I do admit that it's been hard to get into "pony" mode and write "front legs" rather than "arms." Thank you for pointing out the mistake. I will correct it and check the fanfic for more mistakes like that.
I was told that the topic has been done to death but I really, really wanted to write this fanfic, and I didn't think it was worth not doing something I was excited about just because people have done it before. I'm glad I did because I've had a blast writing it. I'm not deluding myself of pretending that it's War and Peace tho.
Anyway, once again, thank you very much for spending your precious time reading and reviewing my fanfic. I appreciate it.
8159617
Well, experimenting and trying new forms is good. However when you do that it us important to admit that sometimes things you try will fail or just not work.
Keep writing, keep trying, keep improving. That's the whole point, innit?
Also, do edit before you post. Only one chance to make the first impression and all that jazz
8161051
Yeah, you're right. But then you never start at the top, but at the bottom. Like I said, I'm not pretending my fanfic is great literature, and in fact, I'm using the feedback I get to become better.
BTW, I now went back to chapter one and removed the part that says "arms" and I looked for more of them. I'm going back to edit the whole thing now that the fourth chapter is finished. I also edited out some of the redundant or wordy phrases.
I do think that it's not a good idea to edit right away because your mind tends to skip the mistakes since you have the words still in your head. I mean, I do edit before I publish, but as you can see, I overlooked some mistakes.
I do take into account your feedback and I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me.
Brohoof! /)
Megga loved the convo with Discord. Your story just gets bettet and better.
Review as promised.
I know it took a bit of time for me to get to it and it'll probably take me a bit more time to get through it. I don't know, the whole concept of Twilight outliving her friends just doesn't interest me. That doesn't mean the writing can't be good, but if it wasn't for this promise, then wouldn't care about it.
So let's see, writing as I go. Spoilers by the way.
Chapter 1
Well, okay. You waste no time to get into it all. That's usually a good thing, but when it comes to emotionally heavy subjects, I feel a bit more time should be taken to really soak up the emotion. Here it felt a bit quick. Also, there seems to be a bit too much focus on how everyone is feeling and not enough on making the reader feel that way. Detailed description of how they were crying and not crying, but I couldn't really feel it.
But I'm guessing that changes in later chapters, seeing how they're a lot longer.
Another thing, is the shipping. Like I know FlutterMac is massively popular (used to be, khm khm Hard to Say Anything), but not everyone ships it. And I know some characters needed a husband, to show how much they changed, but if you're going to insert your ships, then at least make it count for something. Between being the only established ship in the story and Big Mac not really having an active role, it really just felt like rubbing it in to those booger gobblin' non-shippers, like myself. But I'm guessing this will change too.
Chapter 2
Alright, this already reads like an immature attempt from an "adult" cartoon, to parody a kids' show. This line however...
"Think about it. What do you think Rainbow Dash would say if she were alive?"
"I don't know." Pinkie shrugged her shoulders. "Get me out of this box, I'm in excruciating pain?"
Call me horrible, but this made me laugh.
But yeah, I feel Pinkie's condition was a bit too obvious. I see the logic, but after seeing so many material, fan-art and fan comics about Pinkie drinking, being thrash and doing drugs, my eyes were rolling constantly as I read... Not literally, of course, that would have made it hard to read.
What I did like however, is Twilight's eternal youth being pointed out. Not just pointed out, acknowledged! That is probably the most interesting part of the whole concept. How her friends react to growing old, but Twilight staying pretty much the same. I could also feel a bit of immaturity in her character here. I hope that'll be explored a bit more.
Other than that, the emotion, again, didn't feel like it had too much weight. After seeing how Pinkie acted, it's kind of hard to sympathize with her. It might have had a bit more of a punch, if they started to "miss her pink smile" before she died. That might have made the whole "desolation" of Pinkie feel a bit more genuine.
Chapter 3
Okay, that scene between Shining and Twilight, was fantastic! If that was the whole fic, I wouldn't be mad. It explained a lot, the passing of time and nearing of death could be felt perfectly, it was somber in the best way possible and it explored a lot of things, including how people feel about the unchanging Twilight. And did it in less than one chapter. It was fantastic!
Moving on, you seem to have done it again with a FlutterCord, which is probably the most disliked ship of mine. But I guess we do need answers on what happened to him... And he's back to stone? ... Man, what a disappointment. I mean, the parallels with foolish young love, so many romantic stories fixate on, is quite poignant and something was finally done with FlutterMac... But, it's just a tad disappointing to have it end so quickly and boringly. Also it's FlutterCord, so I hate it automatically.
This is where I noticed that you seemed to have forgotten the fantasy side of the whole thing. Like, not a single magical emergency or anything happened? And you teased me with Spike's future present, so you better deliver. Starlight was quickly shown out of the picture, with a random StarBurst. You better not do that with Spike!
Aw fuck, now Fluttershy's dead. At least we meet her children now... Shy Flower and Big Flutter? ... Seriously?!
Okay, Big Mac's part was also really good. I could feel the weight of the emotions in him. And so far he's a fantastic character. Despite the vapid beginning, where I thought you only inserted FlutterMac into the story because it's your favourite ship, it really has become probably the most interesting relationship in the whole story.
"Rarity's eyes dropped. "I can't go out just like that.""
What, you have cancer or something?
"Rarity's mane was gone and her eyes were red. "The chemotherapy did it," said Rarity in a quiet voice."
Pfff, fuck! ... Jeez, that's quite the bombshell to drop so suddenly... We'll see where it goes.
Chapter 4
Jeez, this is one emotional trip. I know I've been acting tough, but this is seriously starting to tire me out on an emotional level. There is a reason why I don't read sad fics and why I rarely even write sad things. Maybe trying to read the whole thing in one sitting was a bad idea, but I'm at the "final" chapter. Might as well finish, now that I'm here.
Okay, so something was actually done with Twilight's immaturity and it was something fantastic. This scene with Celestia and Twilight was perhaps the best one in the whole story. The dialogue felt natural, Celestia was handled well, there was a good philosophical side, explored many interesting ideas and the emotion had weight. If this was the whole fic... then I wouldn't be so emotionally drained.
I can say the same thing about her conversation with Luna.
Discord! Finally we're going to have a more satisfying conclusion than just him being turned to stone! I see this chapter will be focusing more on talking with powerful beings. That's a nice idea. Though this one seems to be just a big flood of headcanons. (Although Flurry Heart aging slowly does raise some interesting possibilities. Will she run to Twilight once Shining dies?) And of course some good philosophical value to Discord's lecture. I like how you shown three different stances on the universe so far.
And FlutterCord gets brought up again. But I can't say I'm mad (I'm to exhausted to be mad), Discord's part was actually handled pretty well and the foolish young love thing gets fully addressed. It's good.
And goddamn right you bring up Spike again....
I don't know what else to say... I finished.... In a single sitting...
...
I need to lie down for a bit....
Edit: After thinking for a bit, how will Twilight losing her friends affect her title as the princess of friendship? Losing friends seems like a pretty significant event to her title.
8194299
Hi,
Thank you very much for your review. It was very satisfying to read that you wished this or that point should better be addressed later and knowing it would . I was like "oh boy, wait until he gets to this part."
One thing that caught my attention is that I haven't really seen much of other fandom content, so I don't know what has been done to death or not. I haven't even seen beyond season 5. I did a bit of research and I added a line about Starlight Glimmer because she sounded important. So, when you say that there is a lot of content about Pinkie drinking and doing drugs, that's news for me. Also, from what I know, which isn't much, people with addictions are NOT pleasant to be around, but that doesn't mean that their families don't suffer when they finally die.
I am not a fan of shippings although I don't hate them either. I shipped Flutter with Discord and Big Mac because they were the best bad boy/good husband characters I had for Fluttershy's history. I thought Big Mac and Flutter would be the best "normal and happy in their relationship" characters I could find. It's a bit suprising where you say that BigFlutter is my favorite ship, when I don't even do ships. However, again, it's still satisfying to hear you say that you wish both relationships get resolved and then they do.
I deliberately left any "adventures" out. To me, the adventures in the series are a symbol for your late teen, young adult years where you experiment, travel, and do crazy stuff before having to acquire real responsibilities. I meant my fanfic to be about adulting, and while there might be a focus on bad events, it's mostly about issues adults have to deal with.
Finally, you're right. The first chapter is the weakest of them all, and it was written on a burst of creativity. While it was good to get the fic started, I didn't have any plans or structure to it. The rest of the chapters have more structure and arching and I developed a plan to write what each chapter would be about. I even made an excell file with ages and dates of events of most of the characters so that at each scene, I could easily tell what had happened so far to each character. I am thinking about going back and re-write the first chapter but I don't know if I will. I need to think about how to improve it and in a way it would feel like cheating.
Anyway, thank you for reading my fanfic. I am very impressed that you read it in a single sitting. You also made me realize that I have to write a stronger warning for people who aren't really into sad fanfics. Although to be honest, for me, death and its implications is part of what life is, which is why I classify the fic more as slice of life rather than sad. But you made me realize that it can be a harsh read for some.
8195716
Nah, I don't think a warning is necessary. Just maybe don't read the whole thing in one sitting. The topic of death isn't one that really bothers me, I even find beauty in it to some extent. And I've made peace with the concept of life's impermanence and have found comfort in it. It's just that watching my symbols of happiness wither away and die for two hours was very draining. I should have spaced it out a bit, but hey, then the review would have come slowly.
I'm fine now. I'm back to my positively nihilistic attitude.
awww fuck, this story plays with my emotions like no story else till now. I am afraid to read more, but at the same time, I beg you to continue!
8292944
Well, thank you very much for your time. I fixed a thing here and there after reading your feedback, specially marking the part where Pinkie Pie speaks.
I don't think I'm going to write a speech for Spitfire. I just don't know the character to write something decent. I added her for the sake of complementing Rainbow's story.
I do not think the chapter is great literature, but it's definitely better than what it was.
Once again, thank you very much for reading it and for your review.
You had to ask me to do a voice in a story that tugs at the heart strings, didn't you? Though it may be minor, it will give me a start to possible bigger projects, and I thank you for the opportunity.
This chapter was better than the previous ones, since you are starting to legit explore a theme now and having the plot take some dramatic turns.
Still, some of this is really rubbing me the wrong way.
...Are you serious, Celestia? This was your idea guile?
No kidding.
Wha... No! That is not the mistake you made! Your mistake was leaving Twilight to find out this way in the first place! How did you think she would react?
Wow. This is some serious character assassination you've got going on here.