What can you do on Hearts and Hooves Day if you’re a single immortal alicorn? Spy on Equestria and discuss relationships of course! Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have invited Princess Cadence into their annual event where they plead the case for their ideal pairings of the ponies we know and love; hoping the Princess of Love will have some refreshing insight on the matter. Who is YOUR OTP and how does it stack up?
This piece was created as an entry for "Scribblefest" hosted by Everfree Northwest 2017. I've never entered a pony writing contest before so I thought this year I would give it a shot!
To any fanfic readers out there: please ask before you use any of my stories for audio adaptations. Initial rights to this story go to TheLostNarrator in terms of audio productions :) thanks!
Obligatory musical reference GO!
I DISAGREE WITH CADENCE!!!!
Soarin is just letting Spitfire walk all over him because one wrong move could send him jobless. Mind you he is only 2nd in command while Spits is Capt And I just think that SOARDASH is life!!!
They are freaking adorbs
but hey it's my OTP you can have yours and ironically I Dash with Quibble pants to!!
Sillyness in it's purest form
This sounds less like a conversation Celestia and Luna would have, and more like a conversation you would have with a friend.
That's a rather unfortunate name for a place, isn't it? I could have sworn you were talking about the inside of Celestia's ass when I first read this.
The telling is thick throughout the narrative. I know that this was written with silliness in mind, but even a silly fic deserves a bit of dilligence.
Okay, Magpie ... but I'm afraid I like Flutterdash too much.
And you found a premise and set of characters who could believably engage in this discussion! I can definitely see them doing this; when or if Twilight ever gets in on this, everypony's going to be proven wrong via compatibility algorithms.
7988599 chill XDDD
But SoarinDash is gr8
7988749 So? I am gr.8 got a problem with my mom and dad dear?
This is... THE PERFECT STORY! I'm so happy you of all ponies made this Mag, you are perfect for these stories!
PInkieDash is far and away the best ship of them all. Mostly because PInkieDash=LostPie
7988711 exactly what I thought
Added to favourites
BLASPHEMY FROM BOTH CADENCE AND CELESTIA! SpikeBelle FOR LIFE!
I'm sorry, but as long as Rarishy exists, Rarijack will never be the OTP.
7989643 I', sorry but:
RARIJACK 4 LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!
7988763 nO I just said they are great :D or better awesome. I was joking around ):
You know, I was going to make a snarky comment about a story about the sillyness of shipping wars having comments talking about how certain ships are better than others (not serious ones, I know, but still)...
Aaaaand then I saw a ship I dislike, wasn't satisfied with how it was argued against and felt my own hackles raise a touch. Soooooo, yeah, guess I'm as guilty of this as anyone else.
Then again, I think most of us can relate a little to the princesses here. Though I do wonder how Luna would react to the many ships she's put in.
I think she'd take them well.
7990223 While I can see the appeal of Rarijack and totally respect it as a ship, it just doesn't measure up to the perfection that is Rarishy. I will defend Rarishy as the OTP until I die.
here is my pair offs in no particular orter
discord
marble
blue scootaloo :3 (crack i know)
(thorax or ember) (ot3?)
glim glam is cute
button mash
apples
and thats just with canon ponys !
7990608
after 
is dead
oh and
So, Alicorns are the internet?
7990496 You better be or else I'MMA BE CALLING PINKAMIENA AND FUCKING DESTROY YOU!!!!!! In the most painful way possible
7991530 lol k. I know Pinkamena too. SOARINDASH 5 LIFE, yes 5, its bigger than 4.
I'm going with Luna on this: RariJack is perfect.
7992478 U better stay loyal
7990555 and I have nothing against rarishy. It is a good ship. *cough!* rarijack is better cough!* have a nice day!
7992722 I agree! Rarijack rules!
One True Pairing?
HAH! As if I were capable of limiting myself that much for even a single pony.
hi magpie!! i love this story. i am actually currently writing one similar but not exactly like this one. its gonna be called shipping wars. instead of the princesses, its me and my friends' OCs. Just so you know and don't think I am copying you.
Luna shipping all my ships tho
My ships with Mane 6 and other characters mentioned in the fanfic.
starlight glimmer
luna
And by the way Magpie this was the perfect combination of funny and awesome!
Crap. My emojies didn't show. Here are the missing emojies.
rainbow dash <3
pinkie pie <3
rarity <3 spike
applejack<3
fluttershy<3
twilight sparkle <3
big mac <3
trixie<3
applebloom<3
scootaloo<3
sweetie belle<3
<3
I'm not exactly a hardcore shipper myself, but I still find this hilarious! Here's my reactions to each shipping battle. Let's see which princess gets the most points from me.
= Point for Celestia
= Point for Cadance
MOON! = Point for Luna
CheeriMac vs. Big Marble vs. FlutterMac: Sorry Luna and Cadence, Celestia wins this one. Big Mac and Cheerilee are obviously just friends, and the whole point of that episode was that they were not okay with people thinking they're more than that. Big Mac and Fluttershy, yeah, like Celestia said, no basis. Big Mac and Marble on the other hoof are just begging to be shipped. They're legitimately blushing at each other! I don't think it would be dirty, since they are so distantly related. Point one for the sun!
CelestiaCord vs. FlutterCord: Again, Celestia's right. Fluttershy and Discord have way more chemistry.
Octavia x Vinyl: I know I'm in the tiny minority here, but I actually consider them not a couple, not best friends, not even roommates. I think they're siblings. I think that scene in Slice of Life actually supports my case. The division of their house is reminiscent of what siblings do when they're supposed to live in the same house/room. Trust me, I've done it too. And that "are you thinking what I'm thinking" look they give each other just screams sibling dynamic to me. So yeah, none of the sisters gets a point.
LyraBon: I like this one. All three of them get a point here.
MOON! (why no Luna emoticon?)
Pony FlashLight vs. Human Flash Pony Light vs. Sun Human Light: I have to agree with Cadence here. Pony-wise, Twilight and Flash are good. Human Flash however, I think works better with Sunset Shimmer because Legend of Everfree. FlashShimmer is growing on me.
FlutterDash vs. AppleDash vs. SoarinDash: Cadance, I agree with you, but you could have put up a better fight. Soarin and Rainbow have potential. He's down-to-earth, subdued and had to work hard to get where he is. She's got her head in the clouds, is a lot more confident, and got where she is because of raw talent. They compliment each other quite well. Plus I dislike shipping the Mane 6 with each other because it ruins the "six best friends" dynamic the show worked so hard to build, so that just works in SoarinDash's favor.
PinkieDash vs. PinkieFavor vs. CheesePie: CHEESEPIE FTW! And I completely disagree about them being the same. They do have often overlooked differences to challenge their relationships. For example, Pinkie Pie is way more of a social butterfly. Cheese however still has a part of that shy little colt inside him. During parties, he would much rather sit back and take pride in watching the ponies have fun rather than join the festivities himself. Pinkie however is the definition of "life of the party". Also, again, I do not like shipping the Mane 6 with each other.
FINAL SCORES: Celestia: 4, Cadance: 3, and Luna: 1. Funny, that's actually how I rank the three princesses.
So... very meta here. It's amusing on at least one level, but I really would've loved to see more done with it. As it stands, this is effectively three bronies discussing ships, even if they're cast as in-show characters. Having some larger thing come of it... maybe Luna is choosing how to CHANGE dreams to nudge things, or Celestia is setting up pairings to optimize future generations of "special students" or something like that.
Still, amusing as is, but rather avilicious as well.
Soarindash is still my favorite ship and always will be.
I don't agree with what they said about it, once rainbow learns to stop fangirling and think of the wonderbolts as ordinary ponies, then there could be a beautiful relationship.
Also there's too much great fanart out there to just shoot it down.
Pinkie Dash is definitely the best ship.
Actually, one synopsis for a season 7 episode was released, and it reveals that Big Mac has a crush on Sugar Belle.
7989514 Yeah!
I can just imagine TheLostNarrator doing what Luna was doing whenever something even slightly rarijack happens
My ships would be.
Big Macintosh and Cheerilee.
Celestia and Discord.
Human Twilight and Timber Spruce.
Pony Twilight with Pony Flash Century. (But give them chemistry)
Also “It was so cold down in those caves…” and “Or even Party Favor, he seems to be another male Pinkie Pie rip off.” were the funniest lines in the story. Well done I think you did a good job.
This was so hilarious!
)
Although, I have one thing to say...
LUNA AND CELESTIA HOW COULD YOU BOTH HATE SOARIN X DASH ASDFGHJKL THEY ARE MY LIFE
*clears throat* anyway, my ships would be
SoarinDash (see above
FluterCord
AppleDash
FlashLight (with pony versions of both of them)
I think FlutterDash is pretty cute too.
My OTP is SweetieMash!
this was a fun read! and now, for my stance on each ship battle
Cheerimac vs Marblemac vs Fluttermac.
I would argue that there actually IS a basis for Fluttermac, even if it's not as obvious as the other two. Filli Vanilli gave them a really nice friendship, and they cooperated flawlessly in all those concerts, so in sync! and their personalities just mesh so well. Cheerimac is just a friendship (and I don't think Cheerilee even dates? she seemed annoyed when the CMC asked about her special somepony, rolling her eyes like she's tired of that question. aromantic Cheerilee anyone?) and Marblemac I agree with Luna that it's potentially creepy, even if they aren't closely related it's still weird to date someone you know your related to. it just seemed shoehorned in and never went anywhere, and I don't think they compliment each other well. (although the newly canon Sugarmac is cute too)
Fluttercord vs Dislestia
Oh Dislestia for sure, they aren't even total opposites, Celestia is a prankster and finds Discord HILARIOUS. she was the one who wanted him reformed in the first place, and knew him well enough to know that Fluttershy would be the best one to reform him. Discord also seemed bitter over Celestia turning him to stone, like it was something personal. Also, yes those flowers were given as an apology, but it was an apology that was given in a flirtatious manner, with a wink, do you wink at people your giving apology flowers too? exactly. Fluttercord does make sense, I will admit that, but I still prefer to think of them as friends, tea party buddies! there's no romantic tension between them, just friendship and Discord being clingy to the only pony he really feels close to.
Vinyl/Octavia and Lyrabon are perfect yes
Pony!Flashlight and Human!Flashlight are both boring and generic and just aaa no
Sunset/Twilight vs Sunset/Sci-Twi
There's a bit too much of a disconnect between Sunset and Princess Twilight these days, whereas with Sci-Twi she and Sunlight have both had to struggle with the same things, are closer and softer with each other. there's only one Sunset Shimmer to go around so I think it makes more sense to give her to Sci-Twi (plus I ship Princess Twilight with Starlight)
Appledash vs Flutterdash vs Soarindash vs Pinkiedash
aahh Appledash, my very first ship. Luna's right though, it wouldn't work out. they work best as a friendship with some rivalry, make it a relationship and it would be a more intense power struggle. Flutterdash does make more sense but I just cant see it, neither of them have shown any actual interest in each other, they have good chemistry yes but it's only a friendship. Same goes for Pinkiedash, Pinkie Pie has a way of becoming super close to anyone, and Dashy has never said anything about not liking the nickname so it's not that Pinkie was a special pony who got away with calling her a cute nickname, she just gave her friend a nickname and Rainbow didn't mind. Also Pinkie Pie is just generally clingy.
now Soarindash I think the princesses are not giving enough credit at all! there's so much basis for this ship it would take forever to list it all. Soarin is the wonderbolt Rainbow Dash is closest to and has had the most one on one interaction with. Their only reason for shutting down Soarindash was because they don't like Soarin, which I think is unfair. He's a dorky, pie loving, nice guy who still has the skill and drive to be a wonderbolt, he's a goofball but he's not all sunshine and rainbows. you see those bags under his eyes? you see how resigned he seems when he finds out his team basically betrayed him in Rainbow Falls? I think having such a lighthearted, energetic partner could really lift him out of whatever personal issues he's struggling with. they just have such a great dynamic!
Rarijack is the only mane six ship I actually like XD I prefer to keep those six as a friendship because that's the whole point of their group. buuuuuuuutttt what about Equestria Girls? their group is much more loose and undefined than the pony Mane Six. It is for this reason I prefer Rarijack in the Equestria Girls universe.
everything was awesome-possum until this blasfemy happened
“Spike? You mean… the BABY dragon? Isn’t he going to be a baby for… a LONG time? I don’t think he should be shipped with ANYONE!” Cadence said in horror.
dude have some respect. Spike can be shipped with anyone in the multiverse, the guy is the perfect husbando.
FINALLY someone who shares my opinion on Soarindash! I don't even get why that ship is so big anyway. Seriously, they barely interact with each other at all in the show, and even when they do, they have basically no chemistry. Personally, I think that ship only exists because he's the only notable male Wonderbolt, and I guess people don't want to have her be a lesbian.
Rarijack is awesome! No doubt about that.
I'm not that big on Pinkiedash myself, though I can see why others like it. I'm more of a Flutterdash person...though I'm also open to Fluttercord and Appledash as well.
Sunset and Twilight are the best ship in the franchise, and Flash should not be shipped with anyone. Seriously, he needs a personality before I can even think about shipping him with a far more developed character.
For pony Twilight...eh, I'm kinda into TwiPie, but also RariTwi for some reason, and in some cases, Twilestia.
Spike and Thorax kinda works...if the age difference doesn't make it awkward or anything. Seriously, how old is Thorax supposed to be anyway?
A few other ships I'm into are DiamondBloom, StarTrix and OctaScratch.
And that's my opinion. Agree or disagree, that's what I think and I'm sticking to it.
Where's Twidash?
Ships to examine in the sequel:
SweetieMash
Twidash
Bright Butter (Bright MacXPear Butter) (THIS is OTP)
DerpyXDoctor Whooves
But in all seriousness, this is a nice meta disscussion about shipping.
I've never been so torn. :B I can't figure out who has the worst OTPs.
Okay but it's CadenceThis was a pure delight. :D
Delightful meta madness. A shame Cadence's mind wasn't ready for the universally shippable being that is human Twilight. Thank you for this look into the alicorn psyche.
8545261
IKR? TwiDash is OTP.