Chapter 6: Memories and Consolation
After pressing the pad on the wall to open the door to the room she now shared with Spike, Twilight trotted inside, immediately noticing the preteen dragon shivering on a cot, clutching a comic book to his chest.
“Spike! Are you alright?” she called breathlessly as she galloped over to her number-one assistant. She draped a wing over him, and pulled Spike close. Twilight spoke gently, trying to calm him down. “It’s okay, Spike. The fight’s over now.”
“Space battles were a lot more fun when I was just reading about them in comics!” Spike whimpered as he leaned into the embrace. “The alarms, the explosions, the shaking of the ship, the flashing lights…” Wrapping his arms around Twilight, Spike began to cry. “I’m scared, Twilight! What if one of them had blown up the ship? I’m not having fun anymore!”
“Hey kid, I know the feeling,” Noemi’s voice said from the doorway, startling the pair already in the room. “My first time wasn’t exactly like yours, but it came pretty dang close. May I come in?”
Twilight and Spike both nodded, so the green-clad, dark-skinned woman strode into the room and pulled up a chair, sitting down.
“I read the old historical fiction comics back when I was a wide-eyed preteen tomboy full of wonder,” she admitted with a hollow chuckle. “Ah, those were the days. I wasn’t even thirteen, and I was already planning on joining the Federation Fleet.” A longing smile found its way on her face. “Heh, to be young and naïve again.”
“You don’t look that old to me,” Twilight remarked, looking the human woman up and down, comparing her appearance to what she knew of the humans from the other side of the mirror. “You look like you can’t be older than thirty.”
Noemi’s eyebrow shot up. “Huh, not a bad guess. I’m hitting my mid-fifties,” the human woman chuckled. “Life extension treatments are pretty much standard these days. Take Captain Malott, for example,” she said, jerking a thumb towards the doorway. “You might think that he’s in his mid to late sixties.”
“He’s not?” Twilight said, surprised.
Noemi shook her head no. “Nope. That old coot’s actually over a hundred and thirty! And he’s shown no signs of throwing in the towel any time soon!”
Twilight just stared. Their technology was incredible if it could do all that! She tried to imagine how such a thing would impact life in Equestria, but was brought out of her musings when Noemi continued.
“Anyways, as soon as I turned thirteen, I signed up for the Federation Space Academy instead of attending a normal high school. When I first walked through those doors as a Cadet Fourth Class, I felt like my dreams had come true. The galaxy was my oyster, and I planned on making it big.”
Chuckling darkly, Noemi shook her head. “I passed every year with flying colors across the board, and before I knew it, I was trading in my gray Cadet First Class Academy uniform for a black Enlisted uniform.” She leaned back. “A graduate and an official member of the Federation Fleet.”
She snorted. “I was ecstatic. I didn’t need to read the comics anymore, for I was going to live the glory myself.”
The pilot then shook her head and scowled. “What a fool I was. My very first deployment was on a vessel headed for Engi space to repel the Mantis.”
Twilight cocked her head to one side at the mention of the insect, but Noemi went on.
“The Engies can’t fight very well, but they’re real good at working with machines and making repairs,” she explained. “In contrast, the Mantis excel at close-quarters combat, but they can’t tell the difference between a wrench and a hammer.
“So,” Noemi said, sitting up, “the Mantis routinely raid Engi colonies to force them to serve as slaves on Mantis ships. We were supposed to prevent a large-scale raid, but what actually happened wasn’t exactly what we left to accomplish.”
Her face hardened. “The butchers boarded our ship and tore us apart with their bladed arms,” Noemi continued, her voice growing an edge, as if she was trying to suppress a long-forgotten pain.
“We retreated to the Medbay to use it as a chokepoint.” Noemi leaned in closer. “That’s standard Federation anti-boarding protocol by the way.”
She sat back up and sighed. “But there were just so many of them. We beat them back, but many of us were severely wounded.” Noemi eyed the two newcomers, offering a dark glare.
“I lost a close friend that day,” she almost whispered. “She’d been my study buddy all the way through the Academy. I was declared a heroine for my actions in saving the rest of the crew.” The chuckle that followed rang hollow.
“‘A heroine,’” she repeated, her voice heavily laced with sarcasm. “I just wanted to make those butchers pay for killing my best friend. We didn’t even manage to completely stop the raid. Hundreds of innocent Engies were taken prisoner, and we couldn’t do a blasted thing about it.” Her head sank, shaking slightly.
“I got promoted to Crewman for my ‘heroics,’ but I couldn’t care less.” Noemi sighed, before sitting back up again. “But I learned something from that experience: We can’t change the past, no matter how much we want to. We can only look to the future, facing what the present tries to throw at us head-on while not letting our fear control us as we do our best to not repeat our past mistakes.”
Noemi smiled, but Twilight recognized it for what it was; it was the tired kind of smile that indicated somepony trying to keep a lid on their true feelings. She had seen it before on Applejack, even though the pilot was doing a considerably better job at hiding it.
“Anyway, just hang in there, kid,” Noemi said. “Everyone gets scared. It’s what we do when we’re afraid that separates the brave from the cowards.”
Her tale finished, Noemi got up from the chair and started to leave the room, but stopped right in front of the doorway.
“By the way, there’s still a few minutes left before the shuttles get back, Twilight,” she said over her shoulder, her smile softer and more genuine. “Maybe you could use the remaining time to get to know some of the others. Just a thought.”
And with that, Noemi left the room, turned a corner, and was gone.
“That doesn’t sound like such a bad idea,” Twilight mused. “Before that, though…” She looked over to the young dragon and smiled warmly. “Are you feeling any better, Spike?”
“Actually…” Spike paused for a moment, then nodded, a small smile adorning his face. “Yeah, I am.” Within seconds, his face fell. “I can’t help but feel sorry for her, though. Sure, she acts like it only made her stronger, but it looked like Noemi’s really hurting on the inside.”
“I noticed it, too,” Twilight agreed with a grim nod. “I could maybe help her to deal with her demons. But for now, I think I’m going to take her advice and chat with the rest of the crew. What about you, Spike?”
“I’ll stay in here for a little longer,” Spike replied as he set down the comic he’d been holding. “I think… I think I need a little time to myself, first.”
“Suit yourself,” the Alicorn smiled before getting up and leaving the dragon to his thoughts.
“Hey there, Twilight!” an excited masculine voice called out from off to the right. Twilight turned her head to see Matthieu approaching her, a big grin on his face.
“Hello,” Twilight replied warmly. “Matthieu, right? You look happy! What’s up?”
“The Captain finally let me use the missile launcher!” he squealed, sounding a lot like a colt in a candy shop. “I’ve been wanting to try that baby out ever since we first got it back at Outpost Delta Seven, but Captain keeps saying that we’ve gotta conserve ammunition.” He shrugged.
“‘The Burst Laser is more than enough,’ he keeps saying.” The weapons technician stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry.
Twilight gave a genuine chuckle. “You’re a jolly one.”
“Yeah, well...” Matthieu scratched at his neck. “We’ve all got our ways of coping, right?”
“Wait, coping?” Twilight repeated, her smile fading. “You seem as happy as my friend Pinkie! It’s all just a façade?”
His smile cracked, and Matthieu looked unsure of himself. “Um, yeah. Pretty much,” the human said, rubbing his arm. “I don’t really like to talk about it, though. I’d rather talk about it in private. Can we talk in my room?”
“I guess?” Twilight replied slowly, now unsure herself. If Noemi was any indication, would she have wanted to hear what the gunner had to say?
Without a word, Matthieu led her to room number three. After he pressed his palm to the pad on the wall, the door slid open, revealing his quarters.
Posters depicting battles between starships covered the walls, as well as a few other posters.
One showed a cyan eagle pinned down by a human hand, an Engi hand, a Slug hand, a hand that appeared to be made of stone, and a glowing hand appearing to be made of energy while a green, scythe-like appendage appeared to be rushing towards its neck. It read: “Don’t let equality die. If we work as one, the Federation will survive.”
Another depicted a yellow circle with a smiling face. It read: “Keep a smile in your heart and another on your face, and you can overcome anything.”
Before Twilight could take a look at any of the other posters, Matthieu’s door shut behind her with a click—locked. The human sat down on his cot and motioned for her to take a seat in the chair nearby, which she did.
Once he was certain he had Twilight’s undivided attention, Matthieu let out a heavy sigh, his cheery expression shifted into a troubled one.
“To tell you the truth,” he began, his shoulders shaking slightly, “I ah, I come from a broken home. My Dad was…” Matthieu’s infectious smile returned for a brief moment. “He was the best. Couldn’t have asked for a better friend growing up. We did everything together: we watched Saturday morning cartoons; played video games; went to the local park every Wednesday…”
Matthieu sighed happily. “He was everything to me.”
Once more the smile vanished, replaced by a scowl that did not suit his face at all. “My mother though...” His voice became a venom-laced growl as his expression darkened further. “She was a total witch—a monster. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was incapable of loving anyone besides herself.
“She didn’t deserve a man as wonderful as my father,” Matthieu insisted. “Every day he’d look at her her and wonder what had happened to the woman he fell in love with. If he ever got sick, she’d beat him senseless if he even reached for the commpad to let his boss know he was sick and ask for the day off.”
Twilight brought a hoof to her mouth, aghast.
“That wasn’t even the worst of it,” he told her. “If his boss let him go home early either because of illness or just because he worked so hard his boss told him that he’d earned the rest of the day off, she’d beat him senseless the instant he got home anyhow, demanding that he go back to work.”
A loud sniff shook Matthieu’s body. “He tried to endure it, but that—” He stopped himself. “Th-that she-dog was slowly destroying him.”
Tears started to well up in the man’s eyes as his lip trembled and he sobbed. “I tried… I-I tried to stand up to her one day,” he said softly. “I tried to protect him, but she hit me so hard that she broke the skin.” His hand unconsciously touched at his cheek, feeling the ghost of the sting from all those years ago.
“When Dad saw that, he had finally had enough. He finally stood up for himself and fought back, though only defensively. He still tried to avoid hurting her, but she threatened to call the police on him anyway.”
Twilight was at a loss for words and just barely able to keep herself from shedding her own tears. Still, she managed to keep a straight face.
“He sought help,” Matthieu added. “But nobody believed his side of the story.”
“Why?” Twilight inquired, her brow furrowing in confusion. “It sounds like he was an upstanding person.”
The man’s expression somehow became darker still, so much so that Twilight only barely recognized him as the man she’d run into just a few minutes prior.
“That stupid personality psych test,” he spat.
Twilight’s ears folded. “Psych test?”
“A dumb quiz that attributes a color to people who take the test,” the man explained. “Clinics from my home colony use it in ways that it was never intended for. They only look at the numbers, and not at the person.”
A deep sigh permeated throughout the cabin. “Twenty-seven red, twenty-six yellow, twenty-four white, and twenty-three blue,” Matthieu murmured, letting out another mirthless chuckle. “One point too red.”
“Red?”
“‘Power wielders,’ according to that test.” He sat up again. “The one classification that disqualified Dad from being seen by a doctor, because it didn’t fit his testimony.”
“That’s horrible!”
Matthieu’s hands kneaded his temples. “Your indignation is just two decades too late,” he said sardonically, before breaking out a small yet genuine smile. “I still appreciate it. If only the Federation had met your people sooner. Your ideas would mesh well with ours.
“After weeks of searching for help and coming up short,” Matthieu resumed, “Dad filed for a divorce when I was eight.” Another soft, mournful chuckle rang out. “He promised to get me out of that dump, that we’d leave that she-devil forever and move to Earth to start a new life together, just the two of us.”
The scowl from before returned in full force. “But the judge ignored all the evidence brought up by my Dad’s lawyer when he tried to obtain custody of me. Oh, she insisted that the letter of the law was beyond reproach, but I knew it then too.”
Matthieu bared his teeth, turning the somewhat docile appearance of the human’s face into one of a predator. “That judge was a misandrist, so she abused her power and held both my Dad and his attorney in contempt of court for no reason at all, forcing them both to leave the courtroom. I tried to testify in my Dad’s defense, but the judge threw me out of the room as well.”
“But…” Twilight stammered, utterly stunned by the revelation. “That’s a blatant abuse of power!”
“Yeah, well,” Matthieu huffed, “you weren’t the only one to see it that way. Apparently that judge had been treading the line for a long time, and her ruling was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back; she was ordered to resign once the Federal Judiciary Committee on Earth got wind of it.
“And wouldn’t you believe it? That phony’s supposedly gotten herself a job as a Rebel judge!”
He let out another shuddering sigh. “My mother was granted custody of me, and my Dad had to pay child support. That was the one thing that the FJC couldn’t resolve.
“And believe me,” Matthieu insisted, patting at his chest, “they tried. The colonial judiciary system cited the Federation code of interdependent governance to worm their way out of it. The Federal Legislature revised the code to prevent that from happening again, but they couldn’t use the new code to overturn past abuses of the old code.
“That creature ruined my life!” Matthieu wailed, burying his head in his hands, his sobs wracking his body. “My mother never spent a single credit of the child support from my Dad to actually support me! She turned me into her new punching bag, beating me just like she used to beat Dad. And she spent the money Dad was sending for my support on Slug-made alcoholic drinks! My only reprieves were whenever the Slug beverages made her drunk enough to pass out!”
Suddenly, Matthieu’s expression brightened just a tad as an impish smile started to form. “One day when she was passed out, I found where she hid the child support money Dad kept sending. So I took every last credit out of the box, took advantage of her extremely drunken state to trick her into signing a change of address form, then ran away.
“I used the money to join the Academy, and I submitted the change of address form to redirect all the child support money to me.” Matthieu grinned deviously. “After my Dad found out that the new address his money was being sent to was the Academy’s own address, he sent me a letter congratulating me on escaping that hag.”
He spread his hands. “Of course,” the gunner said, “I felt the need to have the last laugh, so I sent her a letter explaining everything: that I took the money, joined the Academy, and that she would never get another credit from Dad again.” His lips broke into a sadistic grin as he said, “I hope the withdrawals from running out of booze were painful. In fact, I hope she’s stuck living as an alcoholic hobo, having to chug mouthwash to feed her stupid addiction. It’d serve her right.
Much as she was relieved at the somewhat happy ending, Twilight felt trepidation gnawing at her when she heard the savage delight in his voice. She got the very distinct sense that crossing the gunnery officer would only end in tears.
“I adopted my ‘rubber banding’ persona during my Academy years,” he added with a light chuckle, not noticing the Alicorn’s growing frown. “I became the guy everyone wanted to have as their friend. On the inside, though, I was still hurting—still am.
“Even after I graduated, the pain never left,” the human sighed. “One thing is still missing: my Dad. I… I haven’t seen him in twenty years.” Tears welled up in his eyes again, his shoulders shaking even more than before.
“I muh‒ I miss my Dad!” he blubbered, looking on with desperation in his eyes. “I miss him so much! I just want to see him again, to… to hear him tell me how proud of me he is! I want to hug him again, to see his smiling face again!
“For ten long years I’ve been looking for him—ten years!” he cried, “And I’ve got nothing to show for it! The only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that he’s still alive.”
“They’d notify me if he died,” Matthieu stated resolutely, though his form wavered. “It’s in his will, he told me so in the letter he sent to me at the Academy! They have to!”
Matthieu collapsed into a sobbing, broken wreck as the pain he’d tried to suppress for fifteen years overwhelmed him. His whole body shook with every sob, wails of pure anguish escaping his throat as he shed enough tears every second that it seemed as if a dam inside him had burst.
Three words were repeated in a chant-like manner, slowing and softening each time: “They have to.”
Twilight had long since understood that there were fundamental differences between her and the humans and aliens that she had encountered. Asides from the obvious biological ones, there were simply too many times where their beliefs deviated from hers. As such, she suspected had almost anypony else been in her place, they would have been at a loss.
Not Twilight.
Just like how grief seemed to be universal, she hoped that joy was something that anyone would recognize. That was what she was telling herself when she closed in for a tight hug.
The effect was immediate: the shakes diminished; the sobs ceased, and a loud gasp reverberated in the cabin.
“I’m so sorry, Matthieu,” Twilight whispered, pulling hard against the large man. “I can’t—” She inhaled sharply. “I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through.”
She didn’t know how long she held Matthieu close. It could have been minutes for all she was concerned.
Eventually however, she felt a long limb reach around her form and pull her closer to the man. Nestled against his chest, Twilight could sense the faint drumming of a heart.
A soft voice reached her ears: “Thank you.” Something wet splashed against her wings—tears? “You’re like the mother I wish I’d had growing up,” Matthieu muttered, tightening his embrace.
Twilight felt her lips part to form a smile. Not so different after all.
Just then, Captain Malott’s voice could be heard on the intercom:
“Attention crew. The shuttles have returned and are currently docking. Please proceed to the mess hall for a crew meeting.”
With heavy sighs, the two broke the embrace. Matthieu’s trademark smile returned, but Twilight saw that it was noticeably more genuine than before. Which was saying something, since the mask-like smile from before had been extremely convincing. His new smile still appeared to cover up pain, but it was much less noticeable.
“Well, orders are orders,” Matthieu said with a chuckle as he pressed his palm against the wall to unlock and open his door. “And Twilight? You can call me ‘Matt’ from now on if you want. It was my Dad’s nickname for me, and I only let close friends use it, like Noemi, Nazia, and Malott. Though that old vet refuses to use it because he claims it sounds too casual.”
With another chuckle and a shake of his head, he added, “Let’s go.”
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A new crew member and they dump a big load on her.
8074946
That's how Hollywood does it, right?
On a more serious note, I'd like to apologize on behalf of Dolphy since I'm the reason that we are still working on the seventh chapter. I've gotten a helluva schedule change and I'm no longer able to work with Dolphy as we had for the other chapters.
Like he's said, we're working on this story, but new chapters will most likely come more slowly than they have been up until now. Hope that you all understand.
Man that woman was a bitch. Kind of want the crew to encounter her so Matthieu can get some satisfaction by seeing her being just as miserable as she made him and his dad. Whould serve her just right.
Can't wait for another chapter!
Pls more
A interesting story idea plus I like FTL