After returning from Camp Everfree, Sunset and her friends are in for yet another surprise when they learn of the human Sunset that is living in their world. Can Sunset learn to deal with the permanent effects she has caused to the human world?
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plot twist!!!! lol
Sunset: I'm Batmare...
Windows 10 is by far the easiest one of them all to fix. That said, i forgot to finish my thought from last chapter about Sunset being retarded.
Anyway, the thing that really gets me in this is that she knows she can trust Shining, because who is it that's keeping knowledge of what she actually is silent? She knows this, she's acknowledged this, and yet she's still being stupid. It makes it extremely hard to keep interested in the story when the characters are being dumb for nothing more than 'muh plot'. It's happened infinitely more times than I would tolerate out of anything that wasn't promising a SciSet ship. And that's not even accounting for the same things coming up over and over and over and over with nothing being done about them over and over and over and over. There had been zero progression in this for at least four chapters now outside of the irrelevant inclusion of Ghost having tits and Sunday FINALLY, accident or not, stumbling on the most obvious fucking clue in the history of clues to get to the lab. That ship is rapidly becoming a flimsy reason to stick around.
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I’m sorry you feel that way, but consider this: the story is intended as long running, we’re talking very long running. Progression naturally will be fairly slow for this reason. Also you’re going to see there becomes more rhyme to reason and things will come to a change, I’m sorry they’re not going as fast as you’d like, but I do promise there are big changes coming.
Act III was from the start intended as a downward spiral for Sunset and the reader. You’re supposed to feel she’s being stupid. That’s partially the idea, she is struggling with what is right, but things are going to change very soon.
Remember only one chapter is shown a week of a story that will likely be well over 100 chapters, so it’s sometimes going to take time to get somewhere.
I am listening though and I will try and incorporate your thoughts as best I can. Bear with us, it’ll all be worth it, I’m sure.
I see Sunset’s actions as not really that implausible to be honest. Shining is not only a police officer but Twilights brother. Sunset suspects that Ghost has access to magic or knowledge of it or the portal. Shining may be an officer but he’s not trained to deal with that. Sunset would feel awful if he got closer to ghost and got himself killed. She is afraid of the involvement of others due to the risks... I can’t spoil anything but you may start to see her fear is justified.
Now that isn’t to say she will always be afraid but you’ll have to stay tuned for that.
I’ll try my best to improve though and make the story as enjoyable as I can.
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What i mean by zero progression I've stated quite clearly there. Every chapter had just been a basic repeat of the last chapter but worded differently. Sunsets friends are worried for sunset, sunset is wallowing, Twilight wants to confess but doesn't. Sunsets friends are worried, sunset whines and recluses, twilight is worried and wants to confess but doesn't. That is what I mean, on top of the actual plot progression. I get slow going, I've read plenty like the long road to friendship and others like it, but then there's just repetition like this. There's only so much whinging and moaning one can take before it gets annoying. One side lashes out, they all regret it, they reconcile. This has happened at least six times in the past arc.
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I understand, I will take that into account from here on.
There's a fine line between keeping an audience in the edge of their seat, eager to see what happens next and your audience trudging in hoping that something will finally happen. This one has been doing the latter since not long after Shimmers death.
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I understand, I will actually go over the next few chapters and think this over, taking this advice to heart.
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That said, it hasn't been all bad. There were obvious points that agitated me, generally commented on like this and the whole portal thing and that wrap up, but the rest has been decent.
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I mean, I recognize that nothing is ever going to be perfect, and Act III was always going to be a polarizing act in general, but extremely necessary for the future events. I also recognize that not everyone will like what happens, but that is because I am not the greatest writer who ever lived and that means what may sound like a good idea to me doesn't always to the readers. Sort of has to happen sometimes to make headway.
The best I can do is try to improve and take the feedback.
Ya, screw Windows 10. When my old laptop first forced it onto me, it for some reason refused to connect to the internet. Then after deleting it my laptop went into an updatathon for 6 months til it purged all my content off it and screwed it up more. Fuck Windows 10
Truth be told the way this chapter opeand I thought sunset whent all death wish (movie) on us though that's still lilky to happen I'd love to see her straddle (Giggity) that line
I wouldn't expect all your problems to vanish with Mac. Every OS has it's advantages and disadvantages.
what is this alternative style that gets mentioned
I agree.