• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 34 minutes ago

Raugos


T

This story is a sequel to That Changeling's a Pony!


Like most ponies, Maxilla the exiled changeling doesn’t believe that Daring Do is real. However, fate seems determined to prove her wrong in the most dramatic way possible.

After all, it isn’t every day that a changeling gets dragged along on an adventure and subsequently immortalised in Daring Do literature and merchandise.

Chapters (13)
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Comments ( 485 )

without reading, yes.

Oh hell yeah, this looks like fun.

Short Fuse really should not be allowed to handle explosives. Or at least, someone else should be able responsible for them with a proper checkout procedure.

Ah, yes. Manipulating the physical world itself with mere thought. Obviously something that no unicorn can do. :raritywink:

As for Max, she's in for a rough time. Though her skepticism certainly surprises me. She's a shapeshifting, emotivorous, unholy amalgamation of mammal and insect, and she thinks an adventurer-archeologist is too outlandish to be real?

Don't get me wrong; I'm looking forward to more. It's just that in terms of Equestria as a whole, Daring Do seems fairly tame.

A different start, and certainly one thats got a fun premise to grab you at.

Huh, well, short fuse has more than a few short bits for other reasons it seems. Also, someone you dont want to have to clean after.

7986811

As for Max, she's in for a rough time. Though her skepticism certainly surprises me. She's a shapeshifting, emotivorous, unholy amalgamation of mammal and insect, and she thinks an adventurer-archeologist is too outlandish to be real?

It's probably less of how outlandish Daring Do is and more of how the heck she hasn't been outed as a real person yet, if she was really real. Quibble Pants syndrome. :derpytongue2:

With a name like "Short Fuse" you probably shouldn't let him have access to dynamite. At all.
Looking forward to the next chapter! For serious.

*Deposits quarter to continue*

7987909 He's probably a bit like Pinkie. Only with explosives instead of party supplies. No matter how many times you confiscate his bombs, he always seems to have a new one in hoof the second you look away. :pinkiehappy:

storeys of air
stories

Hehe liking this so far. Can't wait to see what happens with these two.

Well, she did warn her that they needed to leave.

Although, let's be real, even if it was clear that no one was left on the premises, Short Fuse still would've been there, so....

7989314
Probably would have worked better if she wasn't so discourteous towards the one she broke into the house of.

Interesting start, though Daring Do usually rubs me the wrong way.

7989216 Not a mistake, British spelling AFAIK.

Welp, that went well. Hopefully she's alright.

Oooooh, come on, Chryssie would just threaten you and take the posters away to cry to them in her chambers.

a couple of hot Shining Armour portraits that Chrysalis would probably have flayed her for owning.

i've seen stories where Chrysalis herself owned some portraits like that...

7988574
He must have an interesting childhood...

7989216
Storeys is synonymous with floors, as in a ten floor building or a ten storey building.

7991362
7990088

So TIL that those crazy Limeys have managed to botch another perfectly good word. :rainbowwild:

storey vs story

...and seriously, PiMan? I know what a story is, I was just pointing out (in error) what I thought was a misspelling.

7991461
The context said that storeys was more likely than stories, so I could only assume you weren't familiar with the word.

“Right. And I’m Princess Cadance,” she muttered.

Wouldn't be the first time Cadance turned out to be a Changeling.

It looked like using the house’s original basement as a decoy whilst she personally dug out and furnished the hidden one had finally paid off.

I have to remember that one.

Her ears rang incessantly, as if a bat pony had taken up residence in them and was constantly going ‘Eeeeee!’ in an attempt to scramble what little sense she had left in her brain.

Reference to this one?


Interesting premise.
I'm curious where it goes.



Found an small error:
Edit: fixed.
Also:

Shining Armour

It's Shining Amor, without the "u".
(Most times Cadance is the one with the typo...)

D48

I'm very happy to see this story. It's been far too long since you really went all out with a major writing project like this, and all signs point to this one being amazing.

Also, the prologue gave me two silly thoughts I wanted to drop here in case someone wants to play with them. First, it would be a funny twist if you build up the big "sealed evil in a can" character through the story, and then when he gets out it turns out he's Celestia and Luna's father or something and is actually a nice guy. The big reveal would be absolutely epic with the big dramatic scene summoning him, and then it gets cut off when he scoops Daring Do up in a big hug.

Second, it would be hilarious if the baddy of the week (almost certainly in a one-shot) was actually out to score a date with Daring Do and the "evil plan" was just a ruse to lure her in. She would go off thinking he was some scumbag trying to do something nasty, and then he would totally short out her brain by cutting her off with his real intentions.

7994608 It's worth pointing out that your comment about the spelling of Shiny's name holds true regardless of weather the story is using American or British spellings since it is a proper name. Using British spellings, a correct sentence would be "Shining Armor put on his armour." with his name following the American spelling since that is the correct spelling of his name and the protective equipment following the British spelling being used elsewhere in the story.

Definitely looking forward to seeing the next chapter of this story.

7994608

Reference to this one?

Possibly. I left it open enough that it works as a stand-alone expression or as a reference for those who've read it.

Found an small error:
that they’re pretty a pretty persistent bunch

Fixed!

7995782

First, it would be a funny twist if you build up the big "sealed evil in a can" character through the story, and then when he gets out it turns out he's Celestia and Luna's father or something and is actually a nice guy.

Yup. And he soon discovers that due to interest and inflation over several millenia, he now owes the bank more money than exists in the entire country for unpaid credit card expenses. :twilightoops:

Going off on a tangent here, but have we moved past the stage where the inclusion of hitherto unmentioned, direct relatives of the princesses would automatically spawn an anti-mary-sue mob? I remember that being a huge no-no for many authors. :rainbowlaugh:

Second, it would be hilarious if the baddy of the week (almost certainly in a one-shot) was actually out to score a date with Daring Do and the "evil plan" was just a ruse to lure her in.

I think I might've read something like that before...

7994608

It's Shining Amor, without the "u".

7995782

>> PonyDragon It's worth pointing out that your comment about the spelling of Shiny's name holds true regardless of weather the story is using American or British spellings since it is a proper name. Using British spellings, a correct sentence would be "Shining Armor put on his armour." with his name following the American spelling since that is the correct spelling of his name and the protective equipment following the British spelling being used elsewhere in the story.

Gah, Shining Armour has got to be the bane of British English authors here. I remember having a lengthy debate and a few shorter ones with people across two or three of my stories whenever his name popped up. :raritycry:

I opted to use the British spelling for him in the interest of maximising the connection between his name and armour itself. It just looks conceptually tidier to me that way. Either that, or just pretend that this is an alternate universe where everypony uses British spelling instead of American. :twilightsheepish:

D48

7995994

Going off on a tangent here, but have we moved past the stage where the inclusion of hitherto unmentioned, direct relatives of the princesses would automatically spawn an anti-mary-sue mob? I remember that being a huge no-no for many authors. :rainbowlaugh:

That depends on how you handle it. This kind of setup would work, especially since the story would end shortly after the reveal so it wouldn't be much more than a gag ending. Also, it does logically follow that Celestia and Luna must have had parents so adding a father is a lot easier to swallow than a sibling or something. That said, there are plenty of other options you could use and the setup you have could very easily be something very different from the generic sealed evil in a can so there's no reason to restrict yourself.

My mind immediately goes to an old changeling king who tried to build bridges between changelings and ponies and was imprisoned by the changelings for wanting to reveal their existence based on the reaction to changeling magic and the line about sharing knowledge. That would also give an entertaining result when he sees Max and Daring Do working together near the end of the story along with plenty more shenanigans when he wanders into Equestria with expectations that in no way match reality, but there are tons more options and I'm sure you'll wind up tweaking whatever idea you have several times before you get to the end of the story.

I think I might've read something like that before...

Probably. I seriously doubt it's an original idea, although the closest I recall seeing is one with a minion falling in love with her and getting beat up repeatedly just to get close to her and a number that shipped her with Ahuizotl.

7996002 Yeah, that's definitely a screwy one. I don't usually worry about it myself for exactly this reason, but since it came up I went ahead and chimed in.

Lately, I've been getting a little anxious about my pacing and conciseness. Sometimes I feel like half the stuff I write is just tedious filler. Please let me know if that applies to any parts of the story so far, and I'll see what I can do to improve.

I think it's pretty good how you have it.

Some fascinating developments here, from Daring's age-inappropriate proclivities to hints of the mystery civilization. Definitely looking forward to more, especially whatever Max has up her sleeve.

Care to draw Kaecilius Brother Galleon for us, because I can't really imagine him being threatening so far with a light green colour scheme.
Short Fuse still is though, considering his explosive tendencies.

However, I do like the story so far despite the "fillers" you mentioned. It sets mood, and also gives a light comedic effect to the entire setting, especially when giving a little insight into Max's train of thought. It doesn't feel as long as it actually is which is a good sign :twilightsmile: The sole problem with the pacing is that Half Life 3 will release first it takes a considerable amount of time to wait for the next chapter.

Keep it up!

I love the meta nature, and the well, way it both mocks and takes it exactly straight in the same vein. And this keeps it up in grand fashion. It's like having a normal batman, not bruce wayne, intermixed with someone normal, but able to be batman. This was fun to read. So thank ya, and I hope you keep at it.

“And… Spectrum Lash.” She facehoofed groaned. “You just changed Rainbow Dash’s name, didn’t you?”

:rainbowderp:

Let's see what Max will do next. :twilightsmile:

Story is good, too good, you've left on a cliffhanger making me want more. :raritydespair:

Yes! Another chapter! And no, pacing seems good to me.

Interesting development. I wonder if the ancient civilisation involved changelings...

No, be careful, Max, or you might change into an Eyesoreling like that traitor Thorax!

Awww yeah, can't wait for the next chapter.

Well, technically, you are related to a powerful magic user... Hmm.

'think of it, I sure I’ve seen' - I'm sure I've seen

'with her fac and the rest' - face

That is a really good story right there!
:twilightsmile:

I like. And need more plz.

I am diabetic so low fat sugar free filler is all ways tasty.

While not important to the story, I'd still like to know; is this set before or after Top Edge?

Was a little worried this story had died, and as for pacing you are nailing it.

8079191 Fixed. Thanks for spotting those errors! :twilightsmile:

8079979 This is set after Top Edge, but I'm still not sure if I will make any references to it. It would feel more like a distraction than something that builds towards this story, I think.

8079185 8080511 8079797 8078510 8078381
Well, okay then. Glad the pacing is working out for you guys! :pinkiehappy:

8078751 Now that you've mentioned it, changelings are perfect for being superheroes, aren't they? Every single one of them is like a toned-down Martian Manhunter. :rainbowderp:

8078429 Max definitely has a few tricks, all right. Let's hope I can make the payoff worth the wait. :twilightsheepish:

8080688
I personally wouldn't mind some small references. It doesn't have to be a huge thing either, could be something simple like Max remembering Top Edge's suggestion of a self-insert, or the realisation the kid is gonna go nuts when he reads the book this adventure is gonna be in. A little bit of humour :pinkiesmile:

She’d paid good bits to have her house furnished!

Does she have an dynamit-insurance?

I slept like a dragon

:moustache:: "What is that supposed to mean?"

It’s dragonfire – great stuff for sending mail to the exact location of your contact, so long as they’re on the same plane of existence.

:moustache:: "See? We are cool."


Good chapter!
Can't wait to see what happens next.

Small question: Was it coincidence they took the same train like their pursuers?

8082324 That's certainly worth considering, though I'll likely keep it subtle or separate in a bonus chapter to avoid confusing those who haven't read it.

8087071

Small question: Was it coincidence they took the same train like their pursuers?

Stay tuned to find out! However...
Galleon's a resourceful pony. Maybe he just has eyes and ears all over Equestria.

8080688

This is set after Top Edge, but I'm still not sure if I will make any references to it. It would feel more like a distraction than something that builds towards this story, I think.

I too thought about Top Edge. Maybe he doesn't have to feature in the story, but when Max comes home, she finds that her precious items have been kept safe by him. Anything that doesn't just ignore his existence anyway. Or as Silver Quill loves to say - Continuity!

8089198 Hmm, that's an interesting idea. I'll keep it in mind.

Nooo
It ended just before the story was going to get awesome :rainbowlaugh:

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Lately, I've been getting a little anxious about my pacing and conciseness. Sometimes I feel like half the stuff I write is just tedious filler. :facehoof:

Personally, i don't see any issues with the pacing here, the plot seems to be flowing along fairly naturally.

Though i am dying to know what happens next, i've been perusing this site less than a week now, and i think i'm developing an addiction to these fan-fictions; particularly those dealing with Changelings, its fascinating to see the various different interpretations people have of their biology and mindset.

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