Power Up

by Sun Aura

Your True Self

Author's Note:

Trigger warning: transphobia mentions
Here is this chapter's picture as well.

Applejack liked cooking fairly well. Sure, it wasn’t her favorite thing, since other than holidays and reunions it was lonely, but it was simple. It was something to do, and she always felt better when her hooves were busy.

Though cooking dinner tonight was easier than usual. Granny Smith had gone to visit Uncle Apple Strudel, and Big Mac was out on a date, so she only had to cook for Applebloom and herself.

Just as she was thinking that Applebloom was a little late, the door opened. She heard hooves on the floor as Applebloom peeked around the kitchen door.

“Hey Applejack!” she said. “Uh, can I have a friend over for dinner?”

“I would’ve preferred if I had a warning,” she sighed, glad that she had been planning on having leftovers. “But I ain’t going to turn away a friend.”

Applebloom dragged her friend to the table, and she got her first look at which friend. She had expected Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle. Maybe even Diamond Tiara. Instead it was one of her classmates. A Unicorn colt with an orange coat and a turquoise mane. She couldn’t remember his name, and she couldn’t remember Applebloom being that close to him.

The next thing she noticed, was that the colt was soaking wet.

“Applebloom, can you get your friend here a towel?” she asked.

“Er, yeah,” she answered, getting up.

“Sorry to say, sugarcube, but I’ve forgotten your name,” she said.

“I-I’m Snails,” he muttered, not meeting her eyes.

“Now I remember you,” she said. “Sorry about that. I don’t usually see you around the farm.”

She moved to set the plate on the table. She was about to say something else when she saw his eyes. They were bloodshot, as if he’d been crying recently. Even now his eyes were still a bit watery. And certain parts of his coat looked discolored.

“Here you go,” Applebloom said, coming back into the room.

Snails picked the towel up in his magic and began drying his mane. A few colored streaks appeared on the towel as the discoloration on his face went away. She’d seen that before, last time she had to comfort Rarity, there were similar streaks on the pillow she had cried into. Applebloom sat down next to him, putting her hoof on his shoulder.

“What happened?” Applejack asked.

“Nothing!” Applebloom answered a bit too quickly, with her smile a bit too wide.

“Bloom, I know when something’s wrong,” she said, trying to soften her voice. “I want to hear the truth. I ain’t going to force you to tell me, but I’d be much obliged if y’all told me.”

She knew that if Applebloom wouldn’t tell her, then Snails had probably begged her to keep quiet. Ponies couldn’t lie to her. She wanted to think it was because she was easy to open up to, but she was pretty sure it had something to do with being Element of Honesty. Even ponies that rely on lies have trouble getting past her. It was almost like Fluttershy’s stare, a compulsion when she looked them in the eye.

Snails wouldn’t meet her eyes. Maybe he knew. He turned to Applebloom, who gave and encouraging nod and a small smile.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “She’ll understand.”

After a moment of thought, he nodded and gestured for her to speak.

“Okay,” she agreed. “So about half an hour ago…”

---

Applebloom was walking home after hanging with her friends. While it was a long walk from the town to the farm, it was usually pretty peaceful. As she rounded the turn close to the river, she heard a noise.
It sounded like crying. She couldn’t place whose voice it was, but it sounded familiar. She tried to stay silent as she walked toward the sound, closer to the river. She was sure that whoever was there was behind the next tree.

There was a crunch under her. She didn’t look down to see if it was a stick or early fall leaves. It had already given her away. The crying stopped.

“Sorry to bother you,” she called out. “Are y’all alright?”

They didn’t answer. But they didn’t run. They probably figured that she’d see who they were anyway. She took that as an invitation to approach and poked her head around the tree.

“Snails?” she asked. “What’re you doing here?”

He stammered for an answer, but couldn’t manage to say anything. He sat down and went back to crying.

“Hey what’s-“ she got close enough to put her hoof on his shoulder. “Are you wearing makeup?”

“Y-yeah,” he muttered.

“Why?” she asked.

“I-I,” he hesitated. “I wanted to know what it was like. But mom came home and she-“

He started crying again. Applebloom tried to be as comforting as she could, rubbing small circles into his back with her hoof.

“What happened?” she asked, trying to gently get the story out.

“She wasn’t supposed to be home for another hour,” he sobbed. “So I-I tried on her makeup and one of her dresses. I don’t know why, I-I just wanted to try it. But she saw that and she screamed at me. I tried to explain, but she just-she told me to leave. I-I wasn’t welcome home anymore. And I-I don’t know why I feel this way, and I don’t know why she said that. I’d never seen her that angry.”

“She kicked you out!?” she asked. “How could somepony-Listen, do you have somewhere to go?”

“N-no,” he said. “I thought about going to Snips’, but he and his parents went on vacation. And even if I did, who knows how he’d react if I-“

“You don’t want to tell him because you’re scared to lose him,” she finished. “If you need somewhere, for a while at least, you could stay on the farm.”

“And what if they find out like mom did?” he asked.

“Hey, I ain’t telling you to get lost, now am I?” she said. “AJ and Big Mac’ll understand a bit. And Granny’s pretty accepting of stuff, as long as it’s not dangerous.”

“Why aren’t you telling me to run off?” he asked. “Don’t you think I’m weird, or-or a freak?”

“Did your mom say that to you?” she asked.

His silence was enough of an answer.

“I won’t say I get what you’re going through,” she said. “But you need someone to talk to, and I think Applejack would help you out. At least come over for tonight. I won’t make you tell her, but I think you should. I promise you nothing bad’ll happen.”

“I guess,” he said. “Do you think we could wash the rest of, uh, this off my face?”

“Well, the river’s here, ain’t it?” she said.

They walked over to the water, and Snails ended up tripping and falling in.

---

Applejack was quiet for a moment.

“Applebloom,” she said, her voice shaking a bit, “Can I talk to Snails here alone for a bit?”

“Alright,” she muttered.

With one more assurance that it’ll be okay, she slid out of her seat and walked out of the room. No one dared to speak until they heard her going up the steps.

“Are you going to yell at me?” Snails asked.

“Kid,” her shoulders relaxed a bit. “I ain’t mad at you. I’m trying to keep myself from chasing down your mom and yelling some sense into her. Family ain’t supposed to abandon family, especially for this kind of thing.”

“I don’t want more trouble,” he said.

“That’s not what I-“ she sighed. A different approach might work. “This might be awkward to ask, but because of the makeup and the dress, do y’all feel more like a filly than a colt sometimes.”

“I-I guess,” he said. “I’d thought about it, a lot, but I didn’t know. I just-being called a ‘colt’ didn’t feel right. And I always wondered about mom’s makeup stuff. And when I saw myself in the mirror after I put that stuff on I-“

“You liked what you saw,” she said. “You felt better like that than you had in a while.”

“Until mom came home,” he said.

“You ain’t in the wrong here,” she said. “You’re allowed to feel this way. Heck, there’s many a pony who feels the same as you do. I know ponies who were told they’re mares but know they’re stallions, I know ponies who feel one gender one day, and another the next. Personally, I don’t really feel much like a ‘mare’ or a ‘stallion’, and all that is normal. It’s okay.”

“Then why did mom react like that?” he asked.

“Because some ponies don’t know better,” she said. “For whatever reason they think ponies like that are weird, and even Princess Celestia don’t know why. That’s another thing, all of Equestria’s Royalty think you’re normal. And that’s got to count for something. No matter what your mom says, this is okay. And I’ll be damned if I let y’all leave here without making sure you have a safe home to go to.”

“Stars, I shouldn’t have said anything to mom,” he said. “I can’t go back to her. I-I should’ve just stayed away from it all.”

“And keep lying to yourself?” she demanded. “You can’t do that! Sure, that’s safer. This is gonna sound mighty strange coming from me, but if a lie like that can keep you safe from others, then it’s alright to do it. I hate that we’re in a world where that happens. But y’all can’t keep lying to yourself. Because as bad as lying to others is, lying to yourself is worse. You gotta be who you are, your true self, as much as you can be."

Applejack felt strange. Yeah, she was upset and that tended to raise her temperature, but she shouldn’t feel a strange tingling sensation all around her. It felt nice, actually. Quite familiar, almost like talking with her friends, and very free.

“You can’t change the past,” she said. “You’re mom knows, and she rejected you. All you can do is decide what you want to do next. Do you feel like a filly more than a colt?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, staring at her in wide eyed shock.

“Say it louder,” she said.

“I-I want to be a filly!” she shouted.

“Not ‘want to’,” she corrected. “If you feel you are a filly, you’re a filly. No matter what anyone says, no matter what your body’s like. You are a filly.”

“I am a filly!” she said again.

Applejack grinned seeing the confidence in the filly. She looked a bit more free.

“Uh, are you okay?” Snails asked.

“Sure am, Sugarcube,” she said. “Feel better than usual actually. Like I could buck an orchard of apples. And I mean that for real this time.”

“Uh, you might want to look in a mirror,” she said.

Applejack tilted her head at the filly, but walked out to the hallway’s mirror. Her reflection made her swear under her breath.
Her mane had a red streak glowing through it. Across her body were glowing lines, almost looking like vines or roots. Her hair ties had turned green, and looked like leaves, and a matching band appeared on her hat. Her eyes almost seemed to be glowing.

“I told you being honest is a good idea,” she chuckled.

Comments

[Firemind]

Hell yes, AJ! I wish I had someone like that around when I was in middle school.

[Lightning--Dasher]

Please tell me that Rainbow Dash is next :D