On her way home Octavia notices a pony sitting on the edge of her apartment's roof. She takes it upon herself to get the pony away from the edge
Rated T for the topic of suicide
Chapters (1)
DerpiusHoovicus2
Joined 5th Jan, 2017 ·
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This can be a hard topic to handle. But you did a good job. Nicely done.
Not bad, and it's good to see friends being cheered by one another.
7985897
Thanks! I appreciate you taking the time to read it and writing a comment. ~
7986856
That's what friends are for, no?
7987258 Thanks, and may God go with you
could be longer but not bad. it did feel rushed.
7996430
Yeah, I still need to work on making things longer. It probably felt rushed because I was trying to get a story out before the weekend was over, at like 19:00. Thanks for the feedback! ~
I read this story a while ago, and I remember thinking that it was very well done. The composition and basic plot structure is good and easy to follow. And, of course, the character development (at least this take on the characters) is realistic and makes the reader feel as though they are there on that rooftop with them. It makes them think about what they would do in that situation, or perhaps even about what they have done. I almost find it worrying that your depiction of suicidal thought can be so impressive, and I absolutely support you. True, I have a few gripes. The pacing is a bit fast, as others have said, the characters themselves didn't always feel like themselves, even when not referring to the elephant in the room. Overall, I think it is a very good story with only a few wrinkles, and I look forward to seeing your writing in the future!