After graduating first in his class at a hair styling academy, Zephyr Breeze is more confident than ever that he can win over Rainbow Dash. Can her human friend help her find a solution to get the message across to the stubborn stallion?
As clop, 3 out of 10. As real plot and character development, 10.5 out of 10. Usually it's the other way around. Thank you for doing it this way, rather than focusing on the other 'plot'
i think this chapter here brought me back to when i first joined the fandom and absolutely adored Rainbow Dash as my favorite. i think i shed a tear or two as well from the nostalgia. wholesome and happy and loving. im very glad i found the sequel that led me to this fic.
And now for the predictable and cliché clop that every HIE needs.
I am glad we have an understanding, you and I.
”…aahhh…hands are the best.”
Wonder what else they're the best for. ;]
…Petrichor
You don’t remember where you learned the colorful word, but it described her scent perfectly.
You probably learned it on Doctor Who! ;D Crimson. Eleven. Delight. Petrichor. ;] "Crimson, eleven, delight, and the smell of dust after rain..."
Okay, it got... weird, and then hilarious by the end, there. Not sure if that was your intent, Author, but that's how it came out. I suppose I shouldn't hold it against the characters, as they're both very new to this. I'll let it pass, though the writing there at the end? Could use some work. A tiny, tiny bit. ;]
As for him not recognizing her clitoris... at first I had an issue with it (with the copious amount of porn he's admitted to have seen), but then I realized that it's actually correct. I mean, she's practically an alien, they should be grateful to have this much anatomy roughly compatible... He could speculate, but he'd never actually know until she (or any other mare) confirmed it - and even then, possibly, research would need to be done in order to confirm both the structure and the function of said biological component. So, if it was intended to convey his deep lack of knowledge (rather than what I just said), it may actually fall into the "fridge brillance" category.
Color me impressed, out of all the clop I've read this is one of the very few that's held a sense of romance through and through. And minus the thighs-burning-muscle-cramping-holy-shit-im-out-of-breath, this does wonderfully depicting a decently realistic take on first timer sex. And I loved the little bits of culture exchange shared in moments, especially the little twirl dash did, adorable.
8111672
Origional was around 86k, but with the edits I think it will end up closer to 90k.
8115373 And I'm loving every extra word.
Hope you decide to make a sequel afterwords. So much I would love to see your version of.
Like dashes friends reactions for example.
As clop, 3 out of 10.
As real plot and character development, 10.5 out of 10.
Usually it's the other way around. Thank you for doing it this way, rather than focusing on the other 'plot'
Wow this was a great chapter. Great job dude. I always enjoy a Rainbow romance story that's done well
-Dark
Dammit! Now I'm aroused AND hungry!
Wonderfully done. Very tasteful and romantic love scene.
i think this chapter here brought me back to when i first joined the fandom and absolutely adored Rainbow Dash as my favorite. i think i shed a tear or two as well from the nostalgia. wholesome and happy and loving. im very glad i found the sequel that led me to this fic.
The teat is the nipple. The udder is the breast.
I am glad we have an understanding, you and I.
Wonder what else they're the best for. ;]
You probably learned it on Doctor Who! ;D
Crimson. Eleven. Delight. Petrichor. ;]
"Crimson, eleven, delight, and the smell of dust after rain..."
Okay, it got... weird, and then hilarious by the end, there. Not sure if that was your intent, Author, but that's how it came out. I suppose I shouldn't hold it against the characters, as they're both very new to this. I'll let it pass, though the writing there at the end? Could use some work. A tiny, tiny bit. ;]
As for him not recognizing her clitoris... at first I had an issue with it (with the copious amount of porn he's admitted to have seen), but then I realized that it's actually correct. I mean, she's practically an alien, they should be grateful to have this much anatomy roughly compatible... He could speculate, but he'd never actually know until she (or any other mare) confirmed it - and even then, possibly, research would need to be done in order to confirm both the structure and the function of said biological component. So, if it was intended to convey his deep lack of knowledge (rather than what I just said), it may actually fall into the "fridge brillance" category.
What is there to look at, it's just a pussy. Right? ;-]
Color me impressed, out of all the clop I've read this is one of the very few that's held a sense of romance through and through.
And minus the thighs-burning-muscle-cramping-holy-shit-im-out-of-breath, this does wonderfully depicting a decently realistic take on first timer sex.
And I loved the little bits of culture exchange shared in moments, especially the little twirl dash did, adorable.