• Published 28th Feb 2017
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Report on the Occult Energies of Equine Commradery - SaltyVampireHorse



Peridot is stuck in Equestria, good thing shes got her handy-dandy tape recorder!

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Log Date: 7 24 3, Subject: The "Cutie Mark Crusaders"

Log Date: 7 24 3

Subject: “The Cutie Mark Crusaders”

Audio Recorded by: Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG

“A slight correction from my previous report, it appears that the “Cutie Mark Crusaders” are not Quartz warriors or Amethyst guards. In fact, I deduce that their combat prowess is below elementary level. The “Cutie Mark Crusaders” as I understand are some sort of inquisition group. Similar to the functionality enforcement squads on Homeworld, the Crusaders oversee that all beings of this dimension are appropriately fulfilling their assigned task, they report any dissidence to their leaders and the defective citizens are quickly stamped out.”

“That’s not what we do at all!”

“... just a moment…”

*transmission cuts out*

*transmission resumes*


“It appears that I must redact my previous statement, as the Crusaders have corrected me. Their purpose is not to inquire and root out functionality dissidence, but instead their purpose is to, and I quote: “help fillies all over Equestria to find the special talent that represents their cutie mark” end quote. This brings to light two things, first this dimension is known to as “Equestria”. Secondly, the social structures of this dimension’s society completely elude me. According to the Crusader’s leader, the “Apple Bloom”, the goal of each “pony” in “Equestria” is to discover a functional purpose in which they excel. I initially hypothesized that this was a function that was imprinted on them upon their creation, similar to how each Gem is assigned a particular role from the moment of their emergence. While I still thoroughly believe this hypothesis is legitimate, I have been told otherwise by the “Apple Bloom’s” followers, the “Sweetie Belle” and the “Scootaloo”. They propose that one’s “Cutie Mark”—the appearance modifier that insinuates a pony’s purpose—is something that must be discovered and searched for, and that it is not merely assigned to them upon creation. The crusaders explain that they assist others who are deficient in their function or have yet to even discover it. I cannot help but recall Steven’s idealisms of being free to choose your own function in life; the resemblance is shockingly similar.”

“On another note, I am intrigued the biology of “Ponies”. According to the Crusaders, there exist three distinct sub-species of ponies: the Earth Pony, the Pegasus, and the Unicorn. The Apple Bloom is of the Earth pony species, exhibiting incredible physical strength and endurance in addition to an expansive knowledge of agriculture and cultivation. The Sweetie Belle is a Unicorn, their physical forms feature a hardened Keratin appendage on their cranial structure that houses cosmic powers similar to a Gem’s extra physical capabilities. According to the Sweetie Belle, this appendage can summon arcane abilities such as: energy attacks, telekinesis, teleportation, and substance transmutation, to name a few. Further research is needed to determine the full extent of the capabilities of this appendage. The Scootaloo is of the Pegasus species, and I find them to be the superior pony species, from a biological standpoint. Having wing-like extremities on their back and an overall lighter mass with aerodynamic bodies, these types of ponies are capable of flying at high altitudes with extreme speed and velocity while still exhibiting a great amount of strength and endurance. Sadly however, the Scootaloo is apparently born defective and thus incapable of flight… I can’t help but sympathize with her. Being a generation 2 Peridot myself...I lack certain abilities inherent to most Gems, thus my dependency on limb enhancers. While this dimension’s lax procedures with each individual’s specific function continue to perplex me, I hope that continued interaction with the Crusaders will assist me in my understanding and research on Equestria, and perhaps even help me find a way to return to Earth. Peridot out.”

-End of Transmission

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