Make a House a Home
Ricochet had finished his blueprints when Luna began to speak, and walked over to join the group in listening. Most ponies shied away from him, which he expected. He listened intently.
"My dear subjects," Luna sighed, "I shall not mince words; it is my hope that I can quickly and succinctly convey to you our situation. We find ourselves now at the former seat of Equestria's government. This castle was the home of me and my sister a thousand years ago. We are in the Everfree Forest, far from prying eyes, and I fear that we may remain here for some time yet. Equestria, our home, has been invaded. Presently, we are refugees. My subjects, I will keep you safe, and I promise you, we will take our country back and expel these invaders... but in order for us to achieve these goals, I need your help. We will need to plan our actions carefully, as our numbers are few and theirs are great. You are not alone, though. Princess Twilight Sparkle is among us. We also have some new friends." Luna then extended a hoof and pointed in Ricochet's direction. "My subjects, do not be afraid. There are changelings among us now, but they are not our enemy. They are, in fact, our greatest assets." She motioned for Ricochet to join her.
His eyes widened and he shook his head. "Oh, I don't know if --"
Luna's assistant stared at him, and a flash of green across her eyes spoke to him. He knew who she was instantly, and he knew he should obey. He nodded, and walked up next to the Princess.
"This, my little ponies, is Ricochet. He is a friend. Adjust yourself to the sight of him. Elsewhere among you is another changeling; she is a mare named Echo. She is also a friend. As your Princess, I expect to see both of these changelings treated no differently than you treat any of your other friends. You have my assurance that they are not here to harm you. Our new changeling friends will help us to prepare ourselves to retake our country. They are the same as the ponies standing next to you, even though they look different."
Ricochet remained still and quiet beside Luna until, looking into the crowd, he saw Echo in her hospital bed. She lifted a hoof. His eyes widened and his wings buzzed, and he flew over the crowd toward her.
The crowd shouted in surprise, but Luna raised a hoof to calm them down. "He's concerned for his friend, as any of you would be. Now, Ricochet has his own special talent in the field of architecture. He will be leading the construction crews in the creation of new buildings and the repair of our castle. If you have a problem with this, you may direct any questions to my assistant, Raven Inkwell. Please, my subjects, take some time to gather your bearings. Get some rest if you can." Luna turned and retreated back toward the destroyed castle.
"All right," Chrysalis spoke in her disguise as Raven Inkwell, "before you get to anything else, we need to get a roster of who is who and what your skills are. Please form an orderly assembly, and I will call on you each in turn..."
While Chrysalis took stock of their workforce, Ricochet landed next to Echo. "Echo? Echo, are you awake?"
"R... Ricochet?" She looked up at him, her eyes hazy. "Where is Scootaloo? The doctor sent someone to go get her."
"I just saw her a few minutes ago, she was with Mrs. Velvet. I'll get her in a minute, okay? I just... I don't want to..." He sighed. "I'm really happy you're okay."
She smiled weakly. "I'm happy you're okay, too, Ricochet. Please... I want to see Scootaloo."
Ricochet sighed and nodded. He knew he couldn't keep her to himself forever. Even the few moments he'd stolen so far were selfish. "Okay. I'll go find her. Please," he put a hoof on hers, "don't stress yourself. Relax, okay? I'll be back soon."
"Okay Ricochet..." She coughed into her oxygen mask, and watched him carefully.
Ricochet smiled, patting her hoof, and then turned to find Scootaloo. As he buzzed his wings, he heard a new sound behind him. He stopped and turned around. Echo quickly turned her head away from him, burying her face in her hooves, but he could tell what he had seen. She was crying. He winced and decided it would be best to give her space for a little while. She obviously didn't want him to see her cry. Rather than flying away, he decided to trot.
Scootaloo, meanwhile, was standing near Night Light and Twilight Velvet as Raven took her census.
"... and you? Name, age, and occupation please." She reached Mrs. Velvet.
"Twilight Velvet, age 45, occupation writer."
Raven scribbled on her clipboard and moved on to Night Light.
"Name, age, and occupation please."
"Night Light, age 48, and I'm her editor."
Raven then looked down at Scootaloo. If she was going to maintain her cover, Chrysalis needed to seem unfamiliar with her. "Hello there sweetheart. I know you don't have a job yet, but just for the record, can you tell me your name and how old you are?"
Scootaloo hesitated for just a moment. "I'm Scootaloo... I'm gonna be thirteen in a few days..."
"All right..." She scribbled again. "Thank you, Scootaloo. You," she pointed to the next pony in line, "Name, Age, Occupation."
"That mare scares me," Scootaloo tugged on Night Light's leg. "When can I go check on Mom again?"
"Don't worry, Scootaloo, she's just trying to get through everypony as quickly as possible. We can see your mom again as soon as she's done with the census, okay? I pr--"
"Scootaloo!" Ricochet bounded through the crowd and stopped next to Night Light and Mrs. Velvet. "Hey, guys. Scootaloo, Echo's awake. She wanted to see you."
"Can I go?" She looked between Night Light and Mrs. Velvet, who predictably nodded yes and patted her on the head.
"Follow me, okay?" Ricochet began to trot off back toward Echo.
"Can't you fly us?"
"I... think that might be a bad idea, Scoot."
"Why?"
"It might not be something Echo wants to think about... her wings are gone now."
"Wait, Mom can't fly anymore?"
"Unfortunately, she can't, no."
Scootaloo was silent for the rest of their walk.
Soon, Echo's bed came into focus again. Her head turned and a weak smile crossed her lips. "Scootaloo..." she held out her hoof.
Scootaloo tried her best to hide tears as she ran toward her mother, but failed halfway there. She launched herself at Echo, grabbing her around the middle and sobbing into her side.
Echo winced and gritted her teeth, trying not to show the pain that the experience caused, and ran a hoof through Scootaloo's mane.
"I was so worried about you, Mom. I was so scared. I thought you were going to die. I thought I was going to be alone again."
"Scoot... never."
"I don't know what I would do without you, Mom... I don't know if I could do it, I don't know if I could make it."
"It's gonna take more than this to take me away from you, feather-duster."
"Y... your wings are gone." Scootaloo sniffled.
Echo winced, tears stinging her eyes again. "Y-yeah, Scoot. They are. Looks like I won't be able to fly with you anymore once you learn."
There was a long pause before Scootaloo spoke in a tone barely above a whisper. "I still love you anyway."
Ricochet coughed gently. "Hey, guys. I'll leave you alone for a while, okay? I need to go and get a crew together to start building some shelter. The Everfree isn't exactly a great place to be stuck out in the open, since we never know when it'll rain next."
"Thank you, Ricochet. Thank you for keeping her safe."
"Don't mention it, Echo... what're friends for, right?" He smiled, trying his best to hide the pain he himself felt knowing that friends was all they'd ever be. "I'll be back later, okay?"
"All right Ricky... bye..." Scootaloo sniffled.
A few minutes later, Ricochet had returned to the castle's courtyard where the census was being taken. Only a couple of ponies were left, so he stepped in front of the crowd and waited for them to be finished. Once they had been recorded, he waited for Chrysalis to return. Once she did, he quickly asked, "who've we got that can help build?"
"We have Ash Plank and Sawdust with experience in building, but unfortunately no other skilled construction workers in the group. Plenty of able bodied stallions and mares that Ash and Sawdust tell me they'd be able to train, though." She gave Ricochet a single piece of paper. "Here's a couple copies of the list of names for ponies I think could handle it."
Ricochet nodded and turned out to the crowd. "Ash Plank and Sawdust, come with me, would you?"
Two nearby stallions looked at each other with uncertainty, but stepped forward and met him. "I need you to find the most capable ponies out of this list. I'd like at least 10, but shoot for 20, okay? Get this done A-S-A-P, and come meet me to the east, okay? I've been drawing up some blueprints with some clay I found. It's hardly ideal, but it should work well enough for the time being."
"Uh... sure... Ricochet, was it?" Sawdust asked with a moment's hesitation.
"That's right. Now, let's get a move on, guys. We need to get a shelter up for the medical crews first and foremost, then we can start worrying about a more permanent structure. No time to waste."
"You've got it... uh... boss?" Ash replied and gave a succinct nod before the duo trotted off to find and interview the ponies from the list.
Ricochet hummed happily. He felt like he was back in his element. He buzzed off back toward where he had been drawing his plans, and lit his horn. Green, translucent, and faintly glowing strands of magic began to lay themselves out about twelve centimeters off the ground. In this manner, he drew out a full-sized replica of the floorplan he'd created. It was a large building (about 350 square meters at seven meters wide by 50 meters long) considering the primitive methods that they had at their disposal, but Ricochet believed that the medical facilities were deserving of substantially larger accommodations than he would afford to any one pony. Next, he began to use a combination of his magic and his hooves to dig out pilot holes for support beams. He managed to complete all of this in the span of about half an hour.
Next, he knew he would need to find a more consistent source of clay. They were going to be using quite a bit of clay in their initial construction, and he would need to fashion a kiln. Changelings had the ability, through magic, to take naturally occurring minerals and stones and turn them into a very strong amalgam which they called "valite". It was similar to concrete in its utility but closer to granite in its finished hardness. The difficulty came in the fact that it was difficult to produce, taking as much as two hours for each cubic meter of material. There simply weren't enough changelings here to create a significant amount of valite in the time frame that was required, even if Echo were in a position to be able to do so. In his hive, there was a team of two hundred changelings whose sole jobs were to create as much valite as possible and pass it along to the structural corps. Because of this limitation, clay would have to be the principal material of their masonry at this point.
Taking to the air and surveying the area, he could see a stream running behind the castle. He smiled and headed in that direction. With a little help from his magic, he began to move topsoil out of the way, until he found a sizable deposit of clay. It was at least thirty meters long by ten meters wide, existing in an old oxbow lake which had since become more of a large mud puddle. A little exploratory digging found that the clay went down at least three quarters of a meter. Assuming that those dimensions were consistent, he had at least two hundred and twenty five cubic meters of clay here. This would do well. There was also another, similarly sized deposit on the other side of the stream. He gathered a large ball of the clay in his magic, enough to just begin constructing his kiln, and flew back toward his work site. Once he arrived there, he found that Sawdust and Ash Plank were waiting for him, with a crew of about 15 additional ponies. All of them were surveying both his blueprints drawn in the small clay deposit and the green floorplan he had laid out.
Ricochet set down the large ball of clay and smiled. "Hey, everyone. Good to see you. So, you can see the plans I made. Here's what I'm thinking. I found a large deposit of clay back there behind the castle. We can use wood to build the frame of the building, and use the clay to make tiles for the roofing and as mortar for stone walls. If I can get some of you to go and gather the wood we need -- you can use my plans over there to find the right size trees -- and some of you to keep bringing clay back over here, we can get this done quickly. Between the eighteen of us, I'm sure we'll have no trouble at all."
"This building is huge, Ricochet." Sawdust raised an eyebrow. "I don't know if we can do this without any tools."
"We have enough unicorns in the group that we can make due without them until we can fashion some for the pegasi and earth ponies. Normally, I'd say we should make the tools first, but here I think we need to focus on getting this building put up." He began to dig the foundation for a kiln just a few meters away from the edge of the structure they were preparing.
"Look, I don't know how you did things in the changeling hive, but --"
"I'm sorry..." he looked up, "did I ask for your opinion? Princess Luna put me in charge of this project. We're building shelter for the injured. If you want to complain, wait until we're building your house and then maybe I'll be a bit more interested, okay?"
Sawdust stammered for a moment, but shrugged and nodded. "You got it. Sorry, boss."
"No worries, just get to it, and we won't have any more troubles, okay?" Ricochet smiled gently and returned to preparing the kiln.
* * *
After a few hours and some assistance from the unicorns in the team, the kiln was up and running. They had also constructed a few additional kilns, in an effort to keep some in the fire, some cooling, and some cooled down at all times. The crew was working like a well-oiled machine now.
The earth ponies largely helped with hauling clay and lumber. A frame had been erected over the floorplan with the assistance of the pegasi, and now, in a joint effort between the aforementioned pegasi and the unicorns, tiles were being placed along the length of the frame. The roof was about a quarter of the way done.
Some of the earth ponies who weren't otherwise occupied were helping to build up the stone and clay walls of the structure, following behind the pegasi and unicorns who were laying roof tiles. Ricochet, meanwhile, was building a fireplace every few meters on the outside of the structure, with its chimney actually running under the floor and sealed off by rocks and clay, to help keep everypony warm through the nights or through the winters, though Ricochet seriously hoped they wouldn't be still using this building as a hospital by the time winter came along. Still, it would probably still be used for something, so making sure it was as climate-controlled as he could make it seemed like a prudent choice.
It was hard work, and even though Ricochet was no stranger to it, it had been a long time since he had been responsible for the actual manual labor of construction. Still, he soldiered on. Finally, eight hours into the construction, as the sun was about ready to rise, he stood and stretched. "I'm gonna go get some water," he said to some of the crew, "and take a quick ten minute break or so. I'll be back, okay?"
Many of the burly stallions watched him with a small measure of awe. They had been taking breaks every couple of hours to preserve their strength, but that changeling just never seemed to get tired. Even now, it seemed like he was just a little winded, not exhausted like they expected he should be.
The building was nearing completion, thanks to the aid of magic both making the fires burn hotter and the cooling go quicker. Most likely within another hour everything would be done and ready to start moving ponies in.
Once Ricochet finished his break, he went to inform the Princess and the medical crews of the progress.
First, he took his trek to the castle. Stepping in, he looked around. "Princess Luna?" He called out. There was no response. "Your highness? Where are you?"
"We are here." The reply came from directly ahead, at the end of the hall. Luna was looking over a dusty book, which looked as though it would itself turn to dust if mishandled only slightly. "My apologies. I am ... attempting to remember the spell my Sister used to raise the sun. In her absence, it will be my responsibility."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know that my team and I have finished building the field hospital."
"Already? I'm impressed..." Luna smiled softly. "We can finally move them out from under the lean-to that some of the other stallions build while you've been working."
"Thank you. I'll go and tell the medical crews now." He bowed and turned to leave.
"Ricochet, wait." Luna called after him.
"Yes, your highness?" He turned back around.
"I... have a bit of a strange request for you. I cannot ask Chrysalis; I am far too ill-at-ease with her."
"What is it, Princess?" He tilted his head.
"Can... you come here for a moment?"
He nodded and walked up the stairs to stand next to her. "What do you need?"
"Could you please... take my sister's form, and read this to me? I'm sorry that it's such an old dialect, but we have been around for quite some time."
His eyes widened in surprise, but he shrugged. "I... suppose so, if you think it would help."
He closed his eyes for a moment and concentrated, and in a flash, found himself in a much taller body, looking down at the book. He squinted, struggling to read some of the letters, but began to read. The words themselves carried little meaning to him, being a form of Equestrian that was by and large unrecognizable. Luna smiled and nodded though, seeming to understand perfectly.
After a few pages, she looked back up and smiled. "Thank you... that is enough."
He smiled back and reverted to his natural form. "I didn't understand any of that, but I'm glad I could help."
"Thank you. It helped a great deal. Hearing the explanation in my sister's voice clarified many of the questions I had. Do not ask me why... I cannot explain it." Her horn began to glow, and through the stained glass windows, the sunlight began to peek through.
Ricochet smiled again and walked down the stairs and out the door.
He quickly found the medical teams and relayed the news to them. They were happy, to say the least. After telling the powers that be and getting them prepared to move the patients once again, he found his way over to Echo's bed. Scootaloo had climbed up next to her, and the two of them were now asleep.
He sat next to her and began to speak. "Echo? Can you hear me?" He waited. There was no reply. "Well... I'm gonna talk anyway, because it makes me feel better. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry for everything. I feel like if it weren't for me... maybe this mess wouldn't have happened. I know that's not true... it wasn't my fault... but... I think it was my fault that you wound up in Canterlot at exactly the wrong time. I feel like I'm responsible for you being so badly hurt... for you losing your wings." He paused, taking in a few breaths. "I understand if you blame me. I blame myself. I want to make it right, but... I don't think I can. I can try though. So... here's what I have to say. I promise you... no matter what... I'm always going to be there to protect you. I'm never going to leave you behind. I'll always be the shoulder for you to cry on. I'll always be the stallion to lift you up when life tears you down. You'll never have to face anything alone again. I don't even care if you don't love me, Echo. That's fine, you don't have to. I don't expect it." He put a hoof to hers. "I can love enough for both of us, okay?" He exhaled gently and stood again, smiling weakly down at her before turning and walking back toward the crew he'd gathered.
The medical building was done, but there was still a lot of work left to do.
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I love how Ricky is still super nice even when ordering others around.
8091800 I figured as much. Wanted to wait a bit and mull events of the story over in my head before giving a detailed feedback on why I don't really enjoy/like the direction you're taking things (Please keep in mind though, it is your story in the end) with these latest chapters.
The first story, titled Adaptation, sort of covers its namesake while following Echo disguised as Candlelight within Ponyville for the majority of the story. Having recently reread it as well with a bit more of a critical eye, it becomes a bit clear the downtime sections aren't exactly your strongest suite, at least all the way back when you wrote it originally. I say this because you have numerous time skips, such as Echo and Scoot growing close, or Echo and Scoot being mother/daughter, but then... the following scenes are as if you're trying to show us how they grew closer, rather than the fact that they are closer. So, it gets a little awkward, as it almost comes across as you treading ground that has preemptively been covered in said time skip.
Now, to Integration. Its namesake implies the taking of multiple sources and forming into one. In this instance, the notion of taking changelings, and bringing them with ponies, and having a joint society. Or so you lead us to believe. I do like the changed direction originally presented compared to the prior, it is obvious you had a bit more time and thought into things going forward. The introduction of 'Ricky' as he is dubbed by some introduced another changeling, with Echo teaching him how to be more pony. In essence, if one more changeling can coexist with ponies, then so can one more. And one more. And so on, and so forth. Even Chrysalis, while still rather mischievous, seems tempered a bit and more tolerable. Enough so that we are led to believe that perhaps in time, even she will be capable of existing with ponies rather than looking down at them.
So, events progress. Tad of an odd time skip, but again, it kind of lends a bit more evidence that the smaller interactions that add more to characters than plot seem to sorta get bundled together. We don't see Scootaloo and Echo growing up and dealing with a new town, becoming successful... a teenager coming into those fun years. Instead, it's a return to Ponyville, where immediately it's bam, in your face, here's Ricky! Okay, so that works out well enough, though... if Chrysalis has been at Ponyville? How? How has Ricky been capable of impersonating Echo for so long? One would think her mother would have caught on, since Ricky is self-professed an architect, and unskilled at infiltration. Stepping into a life is one thing, but it begs the question of how he was able to do so without anyone catching on, especially Chrysalis of all ponies. And Twilight, given the research that had been ongoing. So, perhaps that's another issue to consider.
Events move forward some more. Teasing of a romance (one-sided? Echo is extremely hard to read on her end, and let's face it, her so-called excuse was bullshit to some degree, so her true feelings are somewhat uncertain.) begins, and we get a bit more interaction, until it's off to Canterlot for aid from Twilight's mother! Gee, so many things going on that lend such weight...
Enter the flood that irrevocably shifts the landscape and its future focus. A random, out of the blue, attack on Canterlot. A city already once besieged by the same enemy. Caught with its pants down. A princess captured. A country itself threatened. ... why? If Integration, the name of the story itself, is the focus, how does a massive invasion of a force of cunt changelings work towards this goal? It doesn't, because even if some changelings prove useful and lend aid in saving the country, it's still their own kind who threatened it once more in the first place. There is little to no integration capable underneath those circumstances. And that's my first, primary issue with it. First and foremost, it runs a hundred percent contrary to the story's self-professed purpose. I did check your description, though I don't recall the Canterlot line, maybe you planned for this to happen?
Now, another issue with it, and this one gets a bit more personal rather than being subjective in nature. I hate it when people seem to think they need to take things and just... throw a bomb in the mix as if it's going to get out interest heightened even further. There was plenty of plot content to work towards, even discounting the romance subplot you were building and teasing at (though still uncertain if you were even considering on pulling said trigger on that matter). You had the researches of Twilight to potentially publish and try to sway the populace's opinion of changelings, in which Twilight could have roped Echo and Ricky along to aid with. You had a few other points of working towards an integration of changeling and pony together. Just because Echo was living undisguised doesn't really mean much towards integration, since there has been zero evidence of other changelings doing the same. All this plot content you could have worked towards, but no. Got to put the entire damn country at risk instead with some mighty, unseen attack from a superior force that only soldier could stand up to that had no qualms killing ponies, and presumably civilians, set on conquest. Sigh. Anything that now goes on this is going to be looming over like an executioner, especially since somehow Celestia, Cadance, and Shining were captured. Cause, y'know, alicorn. Alicorn. Captain of the Guard, King of the Empire, nopony better with defensive barriers, whose only failure (we know of) resulted purely because of some form of mental manipulation. And, of course, wrapping up this issue is going to end up the pure focus point of the story, which I don't care for. Because anything less is going to come off as flimsy if it is not properly addressed and given its due time.
It's disappointing, god damn it is. Really wasn't wanting to read yet another 'must save the god damn country' story when there was already a good focal point for it. So, while I am glad you are writing again, and I enjoyed it quite a lot, once you dropped that flood, you lost my interest entirely with this direction. It's just... there's nothing appealing about it, at all, whatsoever.
So, good luck. Also, you might want to go back to the early chapters and potentially see if you can fix that small plot hole of no one catching on to Ricky's two year imitation of Echo. It's pretty bad the more one digs into it, and should probably be addressed.
EDIT - Also, was it really necessary to main your main character? Again, events just seem in poor taste, in my eyes.
8092789 Ouch.
Well, I do appreciate the in-depth feedback and will bear it all in mind moving forward, for sure. Your comment was... a bit brutal, but constructive nonetheless, and I do appreciate the time you took to write that all out, so with all sincerity, thank you.
Please, forgive the brevity of my response given how much ground you covered, but I confess I find myself a bit floored by it all.
I've never claimed to be a master writer. I'm not Michael Crichton or Stephen King or whomever one may wish to compare me to. I mostly fly by the seat of my pants. I have main events planned out, things that I want to happen, and then I kind of let my characters pull me in that direction.
I'm sorry for letting you down.
I need more boss Ricky
Loved the chapter
Also, in regards to the rather healthy critique you received I wanted to stay they've got a lot of good points. I'm a "roll with it" kind of reader, and am enjoying the current arc/plot development, but reading the critique I can definitely the points they brought up. I don't have as strong feelings about it myself, but that may be me fulfilling my username.
Nothing really to do now but continue forward, which I hope you do because I'm having a blast reading this story
I actually enjoy stuff like that, I love Robinson's Island and all the descriptions of how they build a life for themselves.
And while a more slice of life thing would've been nice, I don't mind this development. Actually, I think some people forget that one of the strongest bonds are are created in situations like that. Ponies will see some changelings doing their best to help them day after day and it'll stick in their minds.
Rickie being nicertive.
Feel free to ignore the following as i am not an expert at narratives, but its just my thoughts on the new path of the story. Others have said it, but i may as well say it too. You might get a bit of resistance over the last few chapters as you've changed the story structure from a more 'slice of life' sryle to a more direct 'adventure' or 'tragedy'. It isn't a reflection on your ability as a writer but just the expectations of some of your audience.
Maybe you could've telegraphed the plot earlier or put in more hints about what was to come, but personally i feel like the rather harsh shift in tone makes the event seem more severe and seems to help the new story.
But i will say that while it helps the current story, it did do it at the cost of your earlier story. The original story, of Echo and Scootaloo managinging their family life and Ricky learning to integrate into pony society, got cut down early without a real resolution to allow the next arc. I felt that Ricky never really got to learn how to be accepted, and more was just shoved into a new position where everythind that was wrong is now abruptly resolved. As for Echo and Scootaloo, i feel that their issues have gone from sole story focus, to background events while the new main plot takes over.
So I'm a bit stuck. I really like the current plot line, but i really liked the old one as well. It feels like a have cake and eat it to type of complaint i will admit.
But either way, it is your story, I'm just someone enjoying your work. I owe you thanks and you owe me nothing, so write what you desire and have fun.
Well, at least something went good. But this brings me to a question - why don't they go to Ponyville, or any other surrounsing areas? Have they been overrun as well? Or is it just a precaution so Luna and the others are not directly in sights?
Either way, that ending... wow. Heart-warming and heart-breaking at the same time. I like to think that Echo was actually awake, trying to fall asleep but unable to do so.
Spacecowboy's criticism may be a little bit rough, but I think he has a point. What looked like a story about changeling integration and an unusual family (two changelings and Scootaloo) changed into a war story. This draws the attention more and more away from the main cast. Especially with Scootaloo being too young in order to participate in a war and Echo being crippled, the three are seemingly forced more and more away from an active role that drives the story forward into a passive role where they are driven forward by the story.
this chapter is really showing how even if the too (pony's & changelings) don't really trust each other totally they can get along if friendship, thay just needed some thing to give them a little push.
now the last part I am betting Echo hears every thing Ricochet told her.
Isn't it amazing how quickly your confidence returns when you're back in your comfort zone? Ricochet is finally showing how metaphorical testosterone!
At least Echo isn't devastated beyond function at the moment, but that's probably just the drugs talking.
Slice of life doesn't necessarily mean flowers and roses. Even though we had some tragedy and action, we still feel like you can keep it life-y despite the crud that's going on. Or, if you decide to continue transforming it into an epic that's fine too, just right now you're at a line...
Keep going! ;)
You probably want cubic meter, unless Ricochet is thinking in terms of a changeling building standard (all valite is of a specific thickness).
8093951 You are right, yes. I was also trying to think of the approximate size of the building at the time of writing that line, which is why I used the wrong units.
Thanks for catching that.
8092658 What exactly does that mean?
I always did wonder why the sisters never used the sun to force an invading army out. With Celestia incapacitated and Canterlot captured, I imagine that Luna could refuse to raise the sun until the occupying force left. Even with the language barrier, I imagine the changeling king would be smart enough to realize that the sun stopped rising the day he deposed that little kingdom with the funny castle clinging to the side of the mountain.
seeing how adept changelings are at construction, perhaps Ricky could enlist some of his mates from his hive. Plenty of love and gratitude to go around.
I can't remember the circumstances under which he left - I think he just parted ways.
Cap.
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Cap.
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8098140 Thanks for the corrections.
Actually, it was addressed. Chapter 4, The Mission.
8098395
Forgot about that bit. Then yep. We get a general idea then. A dragon moved in ... then the hive just scattered? Or does Ratchet have no idea what happened to the hive?
8098758 It is implied (though I stress not explicitly stated) that the majority of his hive is dead. The survivors scattered in the confusion.
I love you, I enjoy your writing, and I have loved this story thus far.
That said, it honestly feels like you ran out of ideas and had to completely shatter the main plotline and purpose of your story in order to continue. What started as a dorky, enjoyable slice of life has turned into yet another darkfic for the purpose of being dark and tragic.
The fact that the dark tag wasn't on here until recently shows that you did not plan this out from the beginning, so I just need to know: do you know where you're going with this?