Starlight Glimmer
"I am a terrible pony," I say.
"Were a terrible pony. You're much better. And furthermore, I don't think you actually were a terrible pony, not really. I'm reminded of something my friend Fluttershy once said: 'You're not a bad dragon; you just made a bad decision.'"
I frown. "Did she say this to an actual dragon?"
"Yes!" cries Twilight, grinning from ear to ear.
"The yellow one. Very quiet. Easily intimidated by a rabbit."
"That's the one! In her defense, Angel does happen to be one of the scarier rabbits out there."
I shake my head. "Your friends have some hidden depths."
The Princess of Friendship lays a hoof across my withers. "I hope one day they'll become your friends, too."
"That's... not going to be easy."
"Of course not. Friendship isn't something that happens over the course of a two-minute musical montage. It takes laughter, kindness, generosity, honesty and loyalty. But more important to the current discussion, it takes an awful lot of hard work from all ponies involved."
"Why in Equestria would they want to do that? Expend a bunch of effort getting to know a pony like me?"
"Don't be silly. They'll love you."
"I'm serious, Twilight!" I say, stamping a hoof. "I've done things! Terrible things! I stripped an entire nominally-consenting village of their cutie marks just to prove a point! And then when I saw you, I got greedy and thought that this was my one chance to get an honest-to-Celestia Princess of Equestria behind my cause, so I may have stretched the bounds of 'consent' just a smidge—"
"What you did was wrong, Starlight. There's no question of that. But I think deep down you recognize this is about more than just stealing cutie marks."
Twilight fixes me with a warm stare that makes me wither inside, an ugly weed exposed to too much sun.
"Yes," I say. "I spent years of my life finding ponies in need and in pain and preying on their weakness. I told myself that I was helping them. That I was working towards a better future for all of us, a future filled with absolute liberty, free from the machinations of destiny."
I shake my head. "But that's not what they needed. Party Favor didn't need a future free of destiny. He needed somepony to give him the confidence to get back to doing what he does best. Sugar Belle needed freedom to work her way out from under a family legacy she wasn't proud of. Night Glider didn't need an ideological cult; she just needed a good role model. And poor Double Diamond just needed a tender hoof and time to heal, not to be used as a literal captive audience. I got so wrapped up in my own agenda that I saw each and every one of them as a means to an end, as a way of getting what I wanted, instead of working together with them so we could all thrive.
"I could have been everything those ponies needed," I finish. "But now, they're... carrying on without me."
"Starlight..." says Twilight, gently.
"I tried to build a paradise, Twilight. I tried to build my own private heaven on a foundation of my own fears and emotional baggage. When you and your friends took it from me, I got so... angry! Why were you trying to ruin my perfect little place?"
"You know why."
"Yeah," I say, shuffling a hoof. "It wasn't perfect at all. It was built on bad ground, and it collapsed around me, and now I just feel like I'm searching for a way out. I need somewhere I can go to leave behind the pony I was. To be a brand new pony who doesn't just treat other ponies as means to an end. And I'll probably mess up, because I still am the pony I was, but maybe every day I can start to become the pony I want to be."
"The pony I know you can be," says Twilight. "The pony I know you really are, inside." Twilight's absolute calm certainty makes me want to break down bawling, and so, yeah, I pretty much just do that thing, right there in the middle of her opulent crystal study.
"I'm just looking for a place I belong," I say, amidst tears. "I'm just looking for a home."
My teacher encloses me in a tight hug that, just for a moment, makes all the rest of the world go away.
"You've found it," says Twilight Sparkle.
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This was a very thought-provoking story. And I enjoyed the narrative turnaround in this final chapter.
8243450
Glad you liked!
Have to agree with 8243450 here. Makes you think, and I like that in a story. Also, I do love the twist in narrative here for the finale.
Once more, done properly.
A wonderful series of shorts, this, especially how it all ties together at the end with a much better role model. Thank you for it.
A fine ending for a fine story!
(Really liked that montage quip, too.
)
Ah, a very nice conclusion. Thank you for bringing this full circle and filling in the various pieces we didn't have of these five.
Just one thing narrative wise. Should this
not consist of all questions?
Because Starlight is asking for clarification from Twilight on those points.
Again though, a nice look into the various damaged lives of those ponies
8244542
By absolute proper punctuation rules, yes. Those are all questions. I found it more evocative of SG's delivery style to have that vaguely sardonic falling tone to her voice, which was better accomplished with periods.
an end
Lovely little finisher to this story that I had forgotten existed.
8244725
Thanks for the catch!
I still feel, if anything, that there should have been more than a three-second bit of Starlight seeking forgiveness from the Our Town ponies. Ditto here. Ah well, still a nice short fic.
8309774
Yeah, this was an attempt at emulating canon, not fixficcing (of which I agree SG's story needs a little, TBH, though she's gradually growing on me a little).
Thanks for reading and responding throughout!
A great take on how easy it is to take the wrong path when you're hurting. This last chapter really stands out, as SG isn't totally onboard with reconciling what she did with who she wants to be, but is desperate enough to want to get there. The crying really feels natural at the end not just because of the enormity of her situation, but because the walls she built up for herself and others are crumbling.
8451640
Thanks! Glad you liked!
Really lovely, this. It was creepy and sad but well written and thought provoking...until the final chapter. That pushed it into epic ness. Thank you so much!
8489983
Thanks for reading!
R-r-reversal!
Me likey this reversal. ^^
8735130
Thank you!
The ending of this is kind of creepy in a way; it recasts Starlight Glimmer's reformation in a rather disconcerting light. She was a pony who was telling other ponies what they needed, when they actually needed something else entirely. When it is reflected in the end, I'm left wondering if Twilight Sparkle actually knows what is best for Starlight Glimmer, or if Twilight is just supplying an answer for Starlight based on her own biases, that Starlight is eager to lap up because she's empty on the inside?
I liked this piece, though I wasn't sure about it after reading the first three stories; the last two made me realize what was really going on. Well done.
I reviewed this story as part of Read It Later Reviews #85.
My review can be found here.
8913275
Thanks for the review and the lovely comment!
8915058
You're welcome! Thanks for writing a good story.
From her behaviour it seems that she was more angry for shattering her illusions then for actual town (and, as an extension, she understood what was wrong with the town pretty quickly after her defeat): she was basically omnipotent with that time-travel spell and she chose to (ta-dam!) emotionally torture Twilight with it.
Starlight doesn't know what kind of pony she wants to be. From the next line it seems that Twilight has no idea too.
Funny thing, "Twilight teaches Starlight" story line is kinda failed in the show itself --- those questions are not answered even at this point. Starlight, being 7-th main character, is still strikingly different from Mane 6 in the sense that she doesn't have well-defined dreams/aspirations/job/profession/impactful thingie she likes to do.
Well, at least acceptance is really nice.
9029338
I absolutely agree that Glimmy needs more goals than "not be a complete train wreck."
#shotsfired :V
9236726
Couldn't resist?
How you incorporated random elements from the show into your story is absolutely brilliant. Such a good story deserves to be known by more. So I'm planning to translate it into Chinese and post it on Chinese brony sites so that more people can appreciate it. May I have your permission?
10355383
Sure!
10355822
Confession time: I didn't know you would respond so soon and I'd already finished the translating work when I made the request. Well, anyway, here's the link.
10355862
Thank you, I appreciate it!
Oh I just adore this, especially the contrast in the final chapter where we see what actual accepting positivity looks like.
I feel like a lot of people forget that, while Our Town was a cult, cults are made of people- including the leader, in this case- who sincerely believe in what they’re doing. Starlight wasn’t just evil (not a very precise term, but one the show uses), she was wrong. This story does a fantastic and delightfully creepy job of showing how, and, as someone who loves analyzing Starlight, I really loved it <3
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
11608260
Aw, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!