• Member Since 16th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago


Now that I'm done with all my obligations, I shall wri- oh look, a distraction!

Comments ( 40 )

Well you being okay with this has ti mean something.. to the read later this goes.

Okay, that description of Spoiled Rich is the best I've seen on the site and I do enjoy the teasing between DT and Rumble. Hope the next chapter comes soon as I want to see Rumble and Spoiled Rich have some time together. Have a fav for the amazing job.

There's a hint of pubes in your cover art.


Honestly did not see that. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of sfw images i can use of Spoiled Rich.

Alright, I want to start by saying I really really really like this story. I like Rumble, and this is honestly the first time I've seen DT portrayed as nice without a hint of her old mean personality, her jabs are good natured. Overall just solid work.

But, and this isn't aimed at this story in particular, just a trend that bugs me that is in this story is the voice in the head gimmick. That's legit another voice than his mind speaking, because no one thinks like that. I won't blabber on, it just annoys the hell out of me and I needed to get that out.

So yeah, two thumbs way up even with the stupid gimmick.

One would think that Diamond Tiara would be more aggressive towards her mother, as using aggression towards her seems to get her mom to do things for her.

Sorry if it annoys you, but the purpose of it was to sort of act against Rumble's constant denial that he thinks Spoiled is hot. It's kinda like impulsive thoughts that people have, but for Rumble, I had to put the feelings into words and this was the best way i could think of.

Don't worry, once the sex gets going, the voice should more or less go away.

Would you be surprised that that music vid was part of the inspiration for the first half of that chapter?

Wow, this chapter was incredibly hot. I really love the beginning with Spoiled having Rumble wrapped around her fingers with her skilled mouth and sultry behavior, only for Rumble to become the rough, dominant partner when she started badmouthing DT. Great job.

It wouldn't surprise me if Diamond expected this to happen and is totally fine with it. Heh if Rumble plays his cards right, he might score a mother/daughter threesome.

I get the feeling Spoiled Rich is gonna want him around more often.

i am thinking that is going to be the case

8228420 I'm just a reader that feels the need to vent, don't apologize :twilightsheepish: it's your story and your style, I should shaddup. But I think it's because I like this story that I react to that.

I get that it's hard (I had to do the same in my latest story) but now that I've read it again I see why it's bugging me : the first half works fine, but in the garage it goes from "us" to "you" and his mind knows everything before he does, when in reality the mind and Rumble work in tandem/simultaneously.
So instead of asking things like "your point ?" and "what signs ?" he should be answering himself with "okay I think I see it now" and "yeah, maybe they're signs, or maybe that's wishful thinking" or "maybe signs, or maybe my ego is making me see things."

I'll stop now, and start the second chapter, thanks for being cool in the face of my bitching :pinkiesmile:

How about this? Outfit is no more revealing then the last one, and shows no naughty bits.

I really want to know if Spoiled is going to give Diamond a new baby sibling now thanks to Rumble.

it's not bad, but i really wanted the bikini pic. You know, because summer and the first chapter. Plus it was a bit of inspiration for her description. Thanks anyways though.
Wouldn't you like to know.:trollestia:

Well, one could always edit the "Offending" thing out of the original pic. Even I could do a quick patch work like that.

And yes. Yes I would.

Rumble should've knocked Spoiled's teeth in for talking sh*t about her own daughter who's also Rumble's girlfriend. Doesn't matter that she's DT's mom, she's a complete @$$hole.

Good, give in to your anger...

That's a fair point and I wish I had noticed that. Oh well. I'll simply try to do better with the next chapter. Again, the voice was supposed to be an impulsive part of Rumble that he was trying to suppress, but the more he tried not to think about it, the more it was on his mind.
Plus, I could say that it was trying to exaggerate the "signs" of Spoiled being interested in him. Rumble knew where Diamond got her sexy looks from and his impulsive mind kinda went on from there, wanting to get a piece of that action. But whatever.

A pizza with sausage? Why, with DT and Spoiled there, why not a sausage sandwich?

Filthy: "Honey, why does our new son look like the pool boy?"

I gotta side with him here. I keep wondering if Rumble is a Francis York Morgan-like schizophrenic. All he'd need to do is refer to the voice in his head as Zach and it'd be like clockwork.
Still, I'm loving this!

Muh dikk.
'Nuff said.

This is really good so far. Spoiled Rich really does need to get taken down a peg and rough sex works perfectly for her. I'm not too worried about the conclusion since I believe everything will work out in the end

Oh, and for those of you concerned about cheating in relationships and stuff, there will be a happy ending to this. The title does kinda give it away.

Well that's a relief; I was worried Spoiled was implying that Diamond was actually cucking Rumble behind his back. But nope, she just has a mouth on her.

Anyways, I have to admit that the entire encounter was done pretty well. It was interesting to see her be in control and slightly bitchy, to being in control and really bitchy, to on the ground frothing at the mouth from the pleasure being brought down on her. I was kinda expecting her to be the Dom for most of the encounter (see what more of that "experience" she's got and all), but you managed to temper it with some well-deserved spanking. Plus, Rumble's temper didn't go to "I'M REALLY SUPER MOTHERF:yay:ING MAD!!!!" levels. There was nuance, wit, he seemed to understand his partner better than she herself rather than using her like an onahole in a mad way.

The story itself is also pretty good, with some interesting character interpretation here and there. My only problem is that I feel kinda bad for Filthy. He doesn't even know that his wife just got tamed, and he'll forever be oblivious to that fact. Sure, it's one of the better examples of cucking (netori as opposed to netorare), but I still feel bad, you know?

Anyways, I can't wait to see what's in store for the future.

You have no idea how much I appreciate this comment.:pinkiesad2: The time and effort it took to balance that scene so it wouldn't end up like you described was exhausting, but it was well worth it. Trying to get the dialogue and action to sound dominant while not going towards rape-y is very difficult with the current situation. It's also a big reason why the next chapter is taking so long (see the latest blog post for more detail). So thanks for noticing that.:twilightsmile: I hope I can balance the next chapter just as well.

Oh, well thanks, it's nice to be appreciated for saying words. I can sort of see the difficulty you have to face. You got to do the story in a way where it's realistic, but not completely out there. At the same time, Rumble can't just keep it a secret from Diamond, otherwise it just seems like he's cheating on her. There's the possibility Diamond had an idea that this could happen, and the three of them could come to some understanding, but then Filthy's left out of the picture, oblivious to the whole thing. Unless this is like that one hentai ("Yoroshiku! NTR" by Wamusato Haru) where the billionaire is actually a huge fan of getting cucked, and actually pays the protagonist for screwing his wife in front of him (it was more comedic than dark, no worries), I can't quite see how Rumble could come out unscathed if Filthy ever found out.
Not sure if I put pressure on you or anything, but I'm sure you can do it if you put your mind to it. In fact, I know you can. Anyone who can appreciate a good spank to the bum (a well-timed one at that) is a talented individual in my book.

I need mooooooooooooore.

I’m trying to write moooooooorrrree. Real life sucks

HA! Don't I know it?

I really can't wait to see the next chapter, it's grreat work.

Login or register to comment