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The tale of a free changeling's journey through the Everfree Forest

EFNW Scribblefest 2017 Entry

Thanks to RH5, Aragón, Cerulean Voice, and Petrichord for the help getting this ready. Seriously, you guys are pretty awesome.

Chapters (4)

1 - No Good Deed · 21st Feb 2017 · 927 words
927
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0 - Reminisce · 21st Feb 2017 · 1,835 words
1,835
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2 - Endure · 26th Feb 2017 · 1,653 words
1,653
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3 - Forward · 26th Feb 2017 · 1,308 words
1,308
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Comments ( 14 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 14
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TheStratovarian

TheStratovarian #1 · Mar 6th, 2017 · 1 · · 3 - Forward ·

I love this, its bittersweet, heartbreaking, and sad. But its engaging on a fun level. Because of what you get to have happened. Defiance not of a want, but for a betterment of all.

Dconstructed Reconstruct

Dconstructed Reconstruct #2 · Mar 7th, 2017 · · · 3 - Forward ·

8000681
Thank you so much for the kind words. They really mean a lot to me

Miller Minus

Miller Minus #3 · Mar 8th, 2017 · 1 · · 3 - Forward ·

I liked it! Sad stories make good stories when they're done right.

Good luck in the contest!

Dconstructed Reconstruct

Dconstructed Reconstruct #4 · Mar 8th, 2017 · · · 3 - Forward ·

8005049
Your comment right now means so much to me, that I've no means of conveying it in this instant. Thank you so much for reading, and I'm happy you enjoyed my work.

Makazi

Makazi #5 · Mar 15th, 2017 · 1 · · 3 - Forward ·

Well, I have to say that I enjoyed this story quite a bit.

While it is short, it helps to keep the narrative moving. And despite this fanfiction's brevity, you manage to maintain a detailed enough narrative that prevents the reader from getting lost or confused; something that can be hard to do with so few words. The flashbacks are brief enough that they don't interrupt the flow of the story, while also giving us the exposition we need to know exactly what the main character's like and what his motivations are -- so well done.

The ending is sad, but also hopeful. In giving his life for the ponies, he's essentially become a martyr; sacrificing himself for the ponies he believed in, while also potentially giving ponies some cause to see changelings in a different light -- seems like he might have even swayed Chrysalis a bit, haha.

I really enjoyed this one, and you've earned yourself a favourite and a new follower.

Cheers. :)

Dconstructed Reconstruct

Dconstructed Reconstruct #6 · Mar 16th, 2017 · · · 3 - Forward ·

8023522
Hey, thanks so much for the review and comment. Hope you enjoy reading the rest of my works too while you're at it

Minds Eye

Minds Eye #7 · Mar 23rd, 2017 · · · 3 - Forward ·

Your review is ready over at the PCaRG.

Silver Flare

Silver Flare #8 · Apr 7th, 2017 · · · 3 - Forward ·

These are my notes from the first round of judging. Nothing's decided yet, but best of luck in the finals!

The theme is applied with a trowel in this entry, but it's still pretty good. It's a great example of how altruism is effectively weeded out of changeling hives. It's a solid entry, both sad and moving, no less so with the protagonist being completely nameless. -SF P.S. I gave this one the Dash because I admire the protagonist's determination.

Xepher

Xepher #9 · Apr 20th, 2017 · · · 3 - Forward ·

I love the great diction in this. "Plantimals" in particular stood out as a really fun new word!
I did feel it was a tad predictable, but it does a good job of having the character stick to his morals. The ending, I'm afraid, let me a bit confused. I'm not clear which part became the dream for sure, though perhaps that uncertainty is part of the allure here. Either way, I definitely enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing!

PresentPerfect

Author Interviewer

PresentPerfect #10 · Sep 18th, 2017 · · · 3 - Forward ·

Huh. I kind of spent the whole story feeling like I didn't know what was going on, but that seems to be deliberate, as it only makes sense in those last few paragraphs. Interesting piece!

Dconstructed Reconstruct

Dconstructed Reconstruct #11 · Sep 19th, 2017 · 1 · · 3 - Forward ·

8434314
Thanks for the review man.! Means a lot to me

And yes, I too feel the piece didn't quite convey the subtle messages it should have up until the end. Sadly, that was due to the final length of it. One of the main reasons I am now planning an expanded redux of it. Look for it in the near future.

howard035