• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

TheDizzyDan


I'm CreepyPastaSalad and Sensuous Sonority on YouTube, and I perform audio readings.

T
Source

This story is a sequel to Blinking


Twilight Sparkle emerges from the grasp of a horrific spell disguised as a teleportation spell to find herself dazed at Luna's birthday party. While she is not ready for the cake upon her reappearance, Luna is ready for just dessert.


I thoroughly enjoyed ocalhoun's Blink and lumberjack's sequel Blinking. I was, however, inspired to write a sequel. I'm a stickler for closure.


Muchas gracias to the dobermans for their encouragement, plot suggestions, super stylistic sniffer, and the link to the cover artwork, which he also suggested.

Another heap of thanks to Lekmet for volunteering to preread!

And many thanks to The Chill Dude for prereading and your perspective!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 39 )

Oh Celestia. Thinking about the cake instead of the millennium of torment you inflicted on your sister.

What the hell...?

7979113
Is there something I can clarify?

Before I read this, what is the tags for ?
And how bad is it ?

7979932
Good questions.

The horror, dark, and gore tags imply that the ending of this installment in the series does not have a happy or sad ending.

The story is rated teen, so I really didn't go ham on gruesome descriptions but instead went for dark concepts and left the violent bits up to the reader's imagination.

I counted 7 uses of the word "blood" in this story. For reference, Blink used the word 4 times, and this story is almost 3 times as long in word count. This story, indeed, is less bloody.

No one is eating any corpses like in Blink; however, corpses and the smell of them are mentioned, just as in Blink and Blinking, although, without so much imagery.

And if by "bad," you are asking whether this story is poor, I'd say it isn't. No criticisms have been articulated yet, as you can see by the comments below.

I am having a few problems with the internal consistency of this story.
First off: When did Luna create this spell? She could not have created it AFTER she was exiled to the moon else how did it get taught to Twilight and presumably others. But why would she have created this spell before she was exiled? Nightmare Moon expected to WIN a thousand years ago. Thus this would have been a time consuming waste of energy. Did she influence another to create the spell? If so, she's awful powerful for somepony that has supposedly been defeated by the Elements of Harmony.

Second: Her comments about Sunset Shimmer... Luna has never met Sunset Shimmer She was exiled long before Sunset was born and Sunset had fled to the EG reality before Luna returned.

Edit: I see that 'Luna' has been observing everything with disturbing perfection. But still...

Third: So Luna has been faking being healed by the Elements all this time so she can gain revenge for having been defeated for you know? Going mad and trying to destroy Celestia and plunge Equestria into Eternal Night? Faked friendship with Twilight Sparkle all for hate's sake?

I found the story horrifyingly fascinating on the one hand, but begging for explanation on the other. Perhaps you could extend this story to explain the seeming contradictions?

7981416
Let's see if I may address them, friend. :pinkiehappy: I think your questions are all fair points. I spared a lot of explanations for the sake of maintaining the concision that other sequels had, but I suppose that may have cost the story some quality.

First. You're right to imply that she couldn't have created it before her exile. Hence, I mentioned that it was developed while she was coming to be a princess. A waste of energy? Perhaps, but it accords with the amount of malice I gave Luna in this story. Why would Celestia want a "better" sister if Luna had been pure of mind well before she became jealous? Furthermore, who would develop such a spell? Only one who relishes others' misfortunes, which, to me, is quite malicious. Who would have the power to sustain planes in another dimension other than Discord? An alicorn seemed a likely candidate.

If so, she's awful powerful for somepony that has supposedly been defeated by the Elements of Harmony.

Considering that Discord has the power to bend reality to his will and was defeated using those same elements, it very much stands to reason that Luna would not be immune to them at the time of her initial defeat. As you said, she put a lot of energy into the spell; would that not make her even more susceptible to them?

Second. Good point. She had not met Sunset Shimmer. I took it that Sunset and Celestia had been friends for a number of years before Sunset took her own road. To imply that Luna could watch Celestia from the moon at least partly but that Luna was also wholly unaware of what went on with her students makes little sense to me.

Regardless, Luna is reflecting on the aptness of Sunset's name well after Luna's return to Equestria. I'm certain she's at least heard Sunset's name since her return, given that Twilight went to the EG world and came back. Twilight doesn't strike me as one to withhold her friend's names. Furthermore, given how obsessive I made Luna about Celestia's students, it makes sense that, if Twilight never even mentioned Sunset's name in Luna's presence, it was something Luna would have looked into. If Celestia didn't trust Luna enough to tell her about Sunset over the years since Luna's return, Luna probably could have extracted Sunset's name from someone who did know it.

Third. "Healed" was not my concept for Luna's reversion of her appearance. Stripped of the outward malice associated with that form by choice, she had no reason to keep it. Revenge is also not the motivation I had intended, really. Luna has still wanted the power, glory, and reverence that comes with being the absolute head of a state. Luna's qualm with Celestia is for wanting her to desire anything less than that.
In addition, the "throne of blood" is a reference to the seat of anyone who kills in their ambition to ascend to a position of power. I reasoned that Luna has figured that Celestia's death is necessary to achieve that. She doesn't even give Celestia a chance to retaliate this time around because that's how she lost last time.
Yes, Luna feigned friendship in Twilight's case, not only because it was necessary for her plot against Celestia, but also because it presented the best opportunity to spite Twilight for having the greatest faith in Celestia's pure tutelage.

Hmm, this one is my least favorite of them all. I think it's because it's a bit hard to follow at times, and I don't like your Luna head-cannon. 60% the Luna part.

7982285
If I may add, this is not how I legitimately believe Luna thinks and feels. The show certainly doesn't suggest it. However, of all candidates, she made the most interesting and logical choice to me, if this story was ever to be written.

I look forward to your review, although I don't expect any mercy for that. :raritywink: Just saying for the record that I love benevolent Luna to bits.

Eh, it's a bit difficult to follow what is going on after Twilight is teleported, but before Celestia arrives.
It also doesn't feel finished.
Asides from that, this is pretty interesting.

7984114
Understood. There's not really a whole lot going on there. Luna is mostly reflecting before she tries to close Twilight's sphere. That's basically it. It serves to explain her motives and an altering thinking pattern. I was trying to be subtle where I felt the writing was most blatant.

But no. Celestia's little surrogate Luna had to resemble the real one: in her temporal name and her appearance! And Twilight's student. . .

Luna's stomach panged. She had to calm down now. Her ulcers would be gone soon anyway, and later she could finally eat. Focus on the positives.

In this particular passage, Luna is starting to burn with rage at her thoughts, which activates her stomach ulcers. The last sentence is actually self-admonishment. The next two paragraphs are self-congratulatory.

>> It also doesn't feel finished.
In what sense of unfinished do you mean?
I had considered that this story could have been a lot more vivid, but it probably would've needed the mature tag. In keeping with each of the installments, I toned it down some, but it sounds to me like you feel I left too many things unsaid, as opposed to omitting details the reader could fill in.

In any case, I'm glad this story provided you food for thought. :twilightsmile: If my work makes people think, I consider it an achievement.

7984172
Well, yes, there is a lot left unsaid, but you also left plot threads hanging - that is, the end here feels more like the natural break between chapters, than the end of the story.

7984202
You're saying I ought to have continued the story to bring resolution to them. Your wording of it is rather poetic: the end of this story implies the ending of a chapter in Equestria's history and the opening of a new, horrific one.

In music, to create a similar effect, a composer ends the song on a half cadence. It feels unfinished because that was intended. I wanted it to be jarring.

7982327

As I said, I'm not a fan of horror. Regardless, the use of Luna is so horrifyingly effective BECAUSE we; like Twilight, feel we know her. We trust her. It would have been simple to create a stock villain but not anywhere near as horrible as finding such a dark, through the looking glass version of a character we love so much.

there is no good end to this blink series is there :pinkiecrazy: but i LOVED IT :heart: love how you did luna i want her to go bad again i know it will not happen but i want it! poor twilight tho :twilightblush: should have played this a little smarter then you would have still not have a chance :heart::heart::heart: :yay:

7984817
Thanks, friend, but did you just downvote my story after telling me you liked it? :twilightsheepish: Votes don't matter much to me, but last time I checked, this was at 18:13. :rainbowlaugh: Aw well. At least you had a good time.

7984891 did not dislike but did frogot to like! :twilightblush: well now you r at 19:14?
(the like butons r to small on this website i keep missing em :rainbowkiss:

7984914
Oh! Well, thank you! Yeah, I have a tendency to accidentally dislike stories when I mean to like them while I'm on mobile. I have big fingers for the size of the screen.

Spooky.

I love the Dead Space vibes I'm getting from this, its just what I need to help fill that void.

8009731
Excuse my ignorance, but is that a video game?

Regardless, I'm glad you liked it. :twilightsmile:

8009828
It is indeed. I'm a bit surprised that any parralels I picked up were unintended and unknowning ones, but I suppose no one has a monopoly on giant necrotic piles of animated bodies/flesh twisted into monstrous forms.

In hindsight, this story really has nothing to do with the vibes I thought I was getting.

8009844
Your comment contains a bit of spoiling remarks. Would you mind using the (spoiler) tag in your comment?

I ask because I loosely follow a channel called outsideXbox, and I think they may have mentioned that game in their video, although I couldn't remember the name or which video. :twilightsheepish: Looking at screencaps on Google Images, those images were kind of what I had in mind.
:rainbowderp: Have you considered taking up telepathy?

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

This had so much potential.

And you wasted it on evil Luna. Is that even a thing? D:

8018527
Ouch. :rainbowderp: I don't even know what to say to that.

8018527
I will amend my remark.

I don't know what to say to that because I see no loss of potential here, with all due respect, Present Perfect. This, to me, was a logical conclusion, so I articulated it. If my choice of players in this tale is offensive or trite, may I have your suggestion as to what you would have wanted?

It's painfully clear that I gave something readers didn't want with this, yet I'm left only guessing as to what I should have done.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

8018640
What I wanted was something a little less needlessly grimdark. The other stories give us scenarios where the living Twilight in the teleportation sphere is rescued, or a rescue is at least attempted. Luna having crafted this pocket dimension, and still being out for revenge on her sister comes completely out of left field and requires a lot of suspension of disbelief on the part of the reader. It's the kind of thing that might have flown back in season 1, but after this long? I can't accept it. Kudos for taking the story in a different direction, but the direction you chose is so far removed from the initial idea it just doesn't make any sense in context.

8018674
Understood. Thank you for your insight! :twilightsmile:

8018674 Yea, this is my feeling on it as well. The idea Luna does it as some kind of vile act? Sure. But when it comes to sell the 'Why' of it, the story flounders. She's created all these hellscapes to ...kill Celestia, in the end.

I mean, at that point, a knife in the back, so to speak, is just as practical as going Full Tetsuo.

8019098
Actually, that was not the intent I wrote. My original concept was that the spell was for the sheer cruelty of it. That act was to set the grounds as to why she thinks so reprehensibly; her intents have been impure since very early on.

It only became a tool once Celestia had selected Twilight.

Of course, maybe I should have made that clearer. :rainbowhuh:

8018527

evil Luna. Is that even a thing?

Yes, and we need more. So ... much ... more ... :rainbowwild:

Wow. That escalated quickly.

8088375
Up l'escalier du diable? :pinkiecrazy:

Comment posted by TheDizzyDan deleted Apr 24th, 2017
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