• Published 1st May 2017
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Momma - Opium4TmassS



The only love that I really believe in is a mother’s love for her children.

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Here there be tigers

Who would believe me? That was the question that continually raised its head through the weeks that followed what happened at the fair. Through many long days and longer nights memories of what happened and the steady realization as to how real they were pressed their weight into me. Who would believe me? Nobody; after all I didn't believe Mr. Greer at the time and he'd saved my hide. I stayed quiet.

Over the course of those weeks I kept a watchful lookout on those around me. I made it a special point to keep an eye on my stepmother. It wasn't just the dreams or the fact that she once was cold to the touch and now felt normal to me. It was more than that. Whatever it was she'd said to Liza forged a gap between the two of them that distressed Applejack.

It wasn't that Liza no longer listened to her. She did and was more dutiful and well-behaved than ever before. If Applejack asked for something Liza would do it. Yet, when she did the task it was robotic. Once she was done she'd park herself in front of the television or pick up a book and stare at it quietly. Gone were the spontaneous hugs, giggles and life Liza once had. Even at her worst with the thumb sucking, she still had her moments.

So it went through the remainder of the school year and into early summer. I watched Applejack slowly decline through those weeks. Her pep ebbed and a desperation slowly worked its way around the house as she silently moped from task to task. Some nights she would stay up late staring out the window into the night and hold quiet conversations with my father over what was going on. Sometimes it sounded like she'd been crying. Something had to give and it did on the weekend of Independence day.

Liza and I expected that we would be spending the weekend around the farm. Ever since the incidents the past winter and at the fair Applejack and my dad had made it a point to keep us close to home. So it came a surprise when it was Applejack that suggested that as a family we head to my uncle Patrick's farm in Lumpkin to celebrate. "It's important that we spend time with our kin," said Applejack.

The thought of blasting off out of state fireworks, eating barbecue, a bonfire and generally running around like headless chickens with our numerous cousins and at times more distant family was exciting.Liza bolted out of her chair and ran around the kitchen screaming her head off in joy. I gagged over a mouthful of egg and after a coughing fit gave a thumbs up.

Shortly after breakfast we were packed into the truck. Before we left my father told uncle Larry to keep an eye on the farm and make sure to turn away any "help" that was prone to show up in the summer months. We didn't have so much land that we couldn't handle it ourselves and the last time anybody we knew hired any of the "help" they were robbed blind. Once that was done we stopped by the store to pick up some supplies and then were officially on our way.

As we drove we passed several wanderers looking for work. One of them had a big gold ring on that I thought looked out of place but, disregarded it all the same. Liza was much more chatty with Applejack than she'd been in a while, which seemed to please my stepmother. While they chatted I continued to look out the window.

Once there we piled out of the truck and helped bring the supplies in to Uncle Patrick's farm. It was a deceptively large A frame building that almost always seemed to need a paint job or had some part of it under construction. That year it looked like it was the garage though uncle Patrick insisted that it was the windows that year. Whatever the case it was about that time aunt Petunia who'd headed up from Harland shoved a glass into Applejack's hand. "Try it," she slurred," It's a family recipe."

"What is it?"

"Stillwater Apple Pie," said Petunia, "It'll make a woman outta you."

II knew all about Petunia's little still from experience. When I was about six I'd snagged a glass of that "pie" when nobody was looking. I liked dessert and if this was a drink version of it, even better. Much to my dismay I spent the rest of the day puking in the bushes before laying down in the living room and sleeping until nightfall. With such experience I tried to warn off Applejack from the clear and present danger that was in her hand. "Well, I'm sure one glass won't hurt anything," said Applejack before she drank it.

Around that time I backed away and let the adults do whatever it was they did and headed outside to hang out with my cousins. We ran around the yard and into the wooded area across the gravel road. Occasionally they'd poke me and comment on how cold I felt even though it was hotter than hell outside. At one point one of the dogs, Boots, went missing but nobody seemed to pay it much mind at the time. He was old, liked to wander off and either wouldn't or couldn't listen even if you called him.

When we weren't running around like heathens we ate. Burgers, hotdogs, chicken, various vegetables and desserts lined the table. We'd fill up on food and then take off again until the sun dipped below the horizon and the sky was suitably dark.

Once it did the few reasonably sober adults began to set up the fireworks. Uncle Patrick handed out sparklers to Liza and the younger cousins much to their joy. Aunt Prissy did what she could to keep Uncle Tim from throwing his used cigarettes near the explosives. Meanwhile my father grabbed a Bic and started the show.

After scanning the adults I realized that Applejack wasn't with them. It was weird that someone who'd said that family was important wouldn't be with it when it was together. It was uncle Patrick who came up with the most likely answer,"She's probably over there trying to get the bonfire going," he said, "Looks a mite small though from here. Why don't you give her a hand? Show her how it's done."

I trudged through the darkness out to the eastern field. The boom of the fireworks behind me echoed across the night sky. I quietly cursed the fact that I was going to be on fire duty instead of enjoying the show with everyone else and continued to do so until I was half way to the fire and the world stopped.

The moon's quiet light blinked out as did the sound of the fireworks popping and whizzing across the sky. At first it seemed likely that a passing cloud had blacked it out and my hearing had become questionable since December. Both made sense. It was then I felt the thud of something large and heavy land on my head."Son of a bitch," I muttered and looked around on the ground only to find a weirdly colored apple sitting off to the side in the now dense apple orchard.

I remember blinking and standing perfectly still as the world slowly came into focus. The eaves of the trees and the heavy fruit within their branches hung dangerously over head. I opened my mouth to say something but felt my stomach flip. In an instant I'd upchucked every ounce of barbecue I'd eaten that day along with some of the dessert as well. Not sure what to do I staggered, then awkwardly ran toward the light and the shirtless figure who wobbled near it. Applejack.

Her back was turned to me as she crouched near the fire. When I called her name she tossed something into the orchard in front of her before shoving her face into her hands.She made a sound like a growl but more wet as she fumbled about the fire and grabbed her bra before pointing to a tree to the left, "Get my shirt," she ordered.

"But Ap... mom... where the hell..."

"Just get the shirt," she repeated urgently, "Please!"

I did as I was told and handed her the shirt. As I did my gaze drifted down from her face to her chest. I remembered that December and the foggy feelings I'd had and gulped. Applejack stuck her finger under my chin and raised my gaze up to hers, "Look away and get those thoughts out of your head.It ain't fittin'. Besides... how in tarnation did you get here?"

I felt myself blush as I looked away in embarrassment. "I walked to the fire but... where are we? This isn't uncle Patrick's.".

"We're across that wooded part on the other side of your uncle's driveway. Turns out one of the other farm has an orchard."

"I didn't go that way."

After a brief pause Applejack said, "It was totally dark right? You probably got lost and meant to go to the bonfire and instead came here. I don't know how you didn't notice the trees beforehand. You feelin' alright?"

"I... don't know." At the time I didn't I'd just puked and was all turned around. Nothing made a lick of sense.

"Well, set a spell and get your head straight. That swill you aunt made didn't do me any favors either. It got me plenty sick. I had to wash it off in the creek over yonder hence why I had it hanging up," she said, "We'll go back in a few and you can turn around now I'm done buttoning up."

The fire crackled between us as we sat in silence. I knew she was telling a lie about where we were. It was obvious. I gazed into the orange fire, occasionally wishing I'd had some marshmallows or something to eat but knowing I probably shouldn't all things considered.

"Do you think she'll ever really forgive me," asked Applejack quietly.

"Who?"

"Liza."

My eyes locked onto hers as she gazed back at me. A small concerned frown hung from her lips as she watched me. Her eyes somewhere sparkled with the faintest notion of hope. I cleared my throat and shrugged, "I'm sure she will. I mean you two chatted all the way up here.I figure its water under the bridge."

"I don't know," said Applejack as she rubbed her arm gently, "There are some things that you can say or do that can never be truly forgiven. Some sins run too deep."

"I don't think what you said at the fair counts, whatever it was."

The silence returned but, for a shorter period as Applejack reached into her pocket and pulled out a small pack of chocolate chip cookies. She took a couple and tossed me the bag which I was all too happy to take. She smiled a bit as she watched me eat the snack."I have another question for you if you're up for it," she asked.

I shrugged, "It's not about Liza is it? I mean you should really just ask her if you want to know something."

"No," said Applejack in an even tone as she looked into the fire, "I just wanted to know what she... your mother... actual mother was like."

It took me a moment to begin but when I did I told Applejack about the kind of woman my mother was. That her favorite flower was the Black-eyed Susan. I recalled the way she used to sing Patsy Cline in the kitchen and that when Liza was really small she'd hum the song "Down in the Willow Garden" to her to get her to sleep and a couple of other stories as well.

Applejack smiled throughout and nodded in approval, "She sounds like she was really nice. I'd have liked to have met her I think."

"What about your family," I asked, "I mean you've seen ours but what was yours like?"

Applejack frowned again, "Eh I'd rather not."

"Oh," I said quietly, "But I shared."

"It's not that," she said quietly, "It's just ... difficult."

"Why?"

She sighed, "It's more that I don't remember much about them honestly. I mean... my brother and sister were close to me ... for awhile anyway. I had grandparents but they were old when I was young and I didn't see them that much I don't think. The only thing I remember about my parents was when we ... left."

"Left? Why would you leave? Were they fighting or..."

"Nothing like that," said Applejack flatly as she stared into the fire, "We were gonna go to Monticello one year. Dad had been planning the trip for awhile and wanted us to see the home of his favorite president. He said it would be fun. Anyway... we were somewhere in West Virginia when we had a blow out... car darn near went off the edge of a mountain."

"Was everyone okay?"

"For a bit,"answered Applejack, "That was until my sister wandered off. Christ we looked for her... eventually we came to a town. Folks were friendly... for a little but... the more we searched the more things changed. We found her but she was ... then my brother was taken and...." As she spoke her voice cracked and she looked toward the ground lost in the painful memory.

I wanted to say something nice, even if I couldn't find the right words. Slowly, I slid closer to her with the intent of placing an arm around her and let her know that it was okay. Yet as I slid I noticed something dark slowly beginning to leak from her hairline. I opened my mouth to say something when Applejack looked over at me and I froze in place.

Her green eyes were gone. In their places was a deep blackness of infinite depth and misery. My pulse quickened as every muscle in my body tensed. Whatever scream that wanted to escape from me choked in my mouth.Every nightmare I'd had since she'd become our stepmother rang true.

Applejack looked toward the ground again and blinked before rubbing her face. She looked back at me again same as ever. No blackness, just her. She grabbed my arm firmly with one hand and pulled me the rest of the way toward her. I squeaked in fear and wanted to pull away but couldn't. She was too strong. She wrapped her arms around me in a firm hug and sighed, "It's a bad world out there sugar cube, especially in the dark."

I nodded against her chest."Yes mom," I said quietly.

Slowly she let me go and stood up. "Come on. Let's kick some dirt on this fire and head back. I know the way and I don't want you to trip or anything."

"I didn't before," I whispered.

"There are things out there that you cannot imagine Joseph. Things that like the dark and all that comes with it."

I didn't argue.

****

The next morning when we got up Applejack nursed some aspirin and water as she sat at our kitchen table. I did my best to stay quiet around her and would cast the occasional worried glance in her direction. Eventually she caught on and asked if she'd done anything stupid while at the barbecue that had embarrassed Liza or me. I told her no but decided to play it safe from then on.

So for the next week I did like Liza had been doing and was the most dutiful child a parent could ask for as I watched Applejack for any threat. However, unlike my sister I did my best to keep things as natural as possible. If I didn't like something I made it clear, if more politely. The same went for other tasks as well.

Around the same time Liza began to warm up to Applejack again. It was subtle at first, with the occasional smile but it was there. By around Wednesday she gave our stepmother an unprovoked hug which seemed to thrill Applejack to no end. Things were getting back to "normal."

Toward the end of that week we had our first comfortable day of the summer. The wind blew the stalks about back and forth. If someone were to have sat on the roof of our house the waving crop looked like water as it swayed in the breeze. It was on this day that Liza got it into her head that she wanted to play hide-and-seek in the cornfield with her older brother.

At first I objected. I was supposed to mow the front yard when Applejack intervened. She told me that she'd do the front yard but that before I went out back to play that she had something for me.

Applejack told Liza to wait out back which she did. She then walked past me into the living room and pulled a long box out from under the couch. She handed the box to me and told me to open it. Inside was an eight inch pig sticker. "What's this for," I asked holding the knife by its worn handle.

"One of the few things I took from home was this knife," said Applejack, "It's very sharp and if you need to defend yourself can work in a pinch."

"But I thought you said you didn't want me to go out in the woods. Has that changed?"

"I can't be everywhere. I'd rather know that you had some means to defend yourself than try to force you to stay put when I know you're going to wander off regardless."

"Well thanks," I said as I strapped it onto my belt.

"Good. Now go play."

Liza tore off into the stalks as I counted to ten. Her bright pink shirt would be a dead giveaway I thought as I worked my way through the stalks and tried to be as quiet as possible. However she proved to be more elusive than I'd thought possible. I strained my senses in the hope of catching on to where she might be occasionally looking at the stalks of corn in case she managed to bend one or something.

Another warm breeze blew through the field making the stalks rustle frustrating my efforts. With it came the scent of rain. I muttered to myself as I tramped through the thirty acres of corn we had. Eventually I worked my way to the edge of the field and began to walk up toward the end of it, my knife slapping on my hip as I moved with purpose.

Half way up the edge of the field I heard her voice. It sounded like a whisper to my good ear but it was there. However, what I heard sounded like half of a conversation. I quickly tried to figure out who she was talking to as I weaved my way through the stalks to the conversation. It couldn't have been my father, he was busy working in the barn on the tractor. Then I thought it might have been uncle Larry until I heard her ask, "So what do you want to do?" Whatever the response was I didn't catch it.

"Hopefully my brother will be here soon and we'll do something else," said Liza, "Maybe we could dig for treasure or something."

By then I was sure it wasn't Uncle Larry. Maybe it was one of the other farm's kids but, usually they'd have knocked and asked to play or something. I made my way past another row of stalks to see her sitting on the ground doodling a picture in the dirt.

"Who are you talking to," I asked not seeing anybody.

"Oh you know," said Liza with a small mischievous smile, "I'm here with my friend." Liza finished pointing at another row of corn stalks in front of her, "She said she's waiting for you."

"Ain't you a little too old for imaginary friends?" I chuckled realizing my sister probably gotten bored and let her imagination wander.

Her mouth tightened to an angry line as she glared at me. She didn't like my attitude at all but still she pointed at the stalks wanting me to go over. Not wanting to anger my sister anymore I went to where she wanted me to go. I saw nothing. "So," I asked with a fake smile plastered across my face. "What's your friend's name? And where is she exac..." The words caught in my throat as I saw it.

I saw it. Between the rows upon rows of corn a set of rust colored eyes glared at me. I knew those eyes, they been following me for so long I knew them in the pit of my soul. They were the eyes of the one who killed Old Tom and the pigs. The one who threw me in Thrush Run. They were the eyes of a tiger, a predator. No, they were the eyes of a monster.

"You know who I am. We met at the fair didn't we," the thing in the corn softly said, "Or... was it before that?"

"Oh fuck," I muttered and turned away, bolting toward Liza. I grabbed her as I ran by. She screamed in surprise and pain from me nearly yanking her arm off, not really understanding what was going on at first. She begged and pleaded for me to let her go. "Get back to the house Liza," I shouted, "There's a monster in this corn."

"But what about..."

"Pervert Liza! It's a damn travelling pervert," I shouted, "Get back to the house fast.I'll try and keep it busy!"

She wasted no time and ran screaming bloody murder back to the house. While she ran I pulled out the knife I'd just received from Applejack and scanned the corn. As I searched I moved. I could hear the rustle of countless leaves as the beast closed in on me not caring if I knew where it was or not. My heart continued to pound as I backed away from the sound in any direction I could, as long as it was away. I kept doing so until I tripped and fell on my ass.

I scrambled up and saw what it was I tripped on.It was a hand and on its finger was a gaudy gold ring. The same as the one I saw on the migrant walking down the road.I backed away, the heels of my shoes kicking dirt on it as I shouted, "What the fuck," as loud as I could.

"Why... we're just helping the corn grow farm boy," said a different young tomboyish voice to my left, "You should thank us."

I sprinted to the right. I could hear the thing that had ingratiated itself on my sister, AppleBloom, growled in frustration as she barreled her way toward me, snapping stalks along the way. My lungs burned, my legs were numb and still my panic drove me on not realizing that the corn had allowed me to slip away from the thing. I only slowed down when I reached the edge of the field.

That's when I heard my sister scream."Joseph," she shouted, "Where are you? Joseph!"

On the wind I could hear Apple Bloom's voice as she talked to some others, "Belle go left. Loo right.We'll cut him off."

"What about our 'adult supervision'," said the tomboyish voice.

"My sister is busy-ish," replied a new voice.

I ran again this time toward the sound of my sister's screams. The sounds of the panicked trio now trying to scramble in my direction echoed around me until I stopped running and crouched down low. My ears trained on every sound I could make out. Every rustle, every noise made my heart want to leap from my chest.

I heard my sister call for me again. Slowly I crept my way through the corn. For some reason they weren't going after her. They were trained on me. But I also knew that Liza would stand in the middle of that field and bawl her head off until I came and got her. I clutched my knife tightly and continued to move forward taking care to step as softly and as quietly as I could.

I can't say how long I wandered in the cornfield as I inched my way toward my sister. After awhile I stopped hearing my pursuers. I started to hope that maybe they had moved on when I spotted her after stepping past another row of corn.

It was her ridiculous pink bow sticking out from the stalks that tipped me off. I could see her red hair spilling out around it. Fortunately her back towards me. "Run! Run!" My mind screamed at my legs trying to command me to move on. I shook my head and held my knife up. I couldn't run anymore but I could walk. For the first time I saw what that thing, Apple Bloom really was. If I didn't know what it could do I would have laughed as it looked like something should have been sitting on Liza's shelf with the rest of her dolls. Looking so cute but at the same time so dangerous. Instead I crept by like some prey trying to avoid its hunter.

"Joseph!" My sister called. Her voice ringing through the corn field, "Where are you?"

This time she turned in my direction. Surprised, our eyes swiveled around. Locking on to her location she had given away as the same thought ran through both of our minds. I could sense the smile spread across Apple Bloom's face knowing what I knew. She knew where my sister was."You'd best high tail boy," she said, "Those other two are closing in on her and aren't having as much fun as I am."

"Liza," I screamed once again as I booked it over to my sister who stood crying in the field. I could hear the sounds of crashing corn as I reached her. "Come on you're almost there! Just about one hundred yards from the entrance."

"Joseph," said Liza as she hugged me tight, "Don't leave me!"

"No time! Just make a break for it," I said, "I promise I'll be right behind you.

"Swear?"

"On mom's grave! Go!"

Liza tore off through the cornfield again in a straight line toward the house. I crouched as I heard the sounds of Belle and the other one barreling toward me. As they did a different voice came to me on the wind. "You can't possibly win this darling," it said, "Run from the corn, trip her and save yourself."

I waited low and could see the first one. It was orange with purple hair and the blackest of eyes. Quickly I counted down as the little figure bounded toward me, its rows of sharp teeth glistened in the sunlight as it growled angrily. It saw me and it pounced.

When it pounce I raised the knife up and jabbed it in the chest and slid the blade down with surprising ease to its guts leaving a huge gash. The beast shrieked in pain and horror as its black liquid coated my arm and face. It was cold and yet it burned.

As I staggered back through the corn I heard her shout, "Oh shit Belle I'm losing myself! I'm losing me! It hurts! It hurts!" I didn't stick around to hear the rest of the conversation and wearily made my way back to the house.

I never knew Applejack could lose all color in her face but when she saw me she did.She ran over to me and yanked my shirt off before getting a towel wet and wiping off the black off as best she could. Her eyes widened as she looked at me. In the spots where I had the black stuff on me I could feel a light burning sensation."How," she asked.

"There were these things in the rows of corn and they..."

Applejack nodded but continued to stare at me in shock, "I believe you. Get washed up that stuff is ... I just don't know... how..."

I quickly walked upstairs and undressed. As I did so I could hear that familiar voice from the funhouse and the dream whisper in my ear, "That AppleBloom is a little bitch isn't she? But don't worry darling next time we'll play a game more my way... and I'm sure it will be much more fun all the way around."

I stood in the shower for a long time.The warm water cascaded down my back and front as for awhile as I ran the soap over me and scrubbed. However, as I scrubbed slowly my hands began to tremble and my knees weakened. Before long I sat curled up in a ball in the shower. I shook and cried as the aches gnawed at me and the realization of what was going on and that there was no doubt about it washed over me. Everything was coming apart.

Eventually I crawled out of the shower and toweled off before changing into some new clothes and making my way downstairs. Liza sat next to me and put her head on my shoulder. Applejack paced about the kitchen muttering to herself on what she needed to do next and kept asking the question of how. I turned on the television and settled on some soap opera and just let it run.

My mind wandered as the characters on the screen went about their lives, affairs and dramas. As it wandered I wondered about the knife and if Applejack had known they were out there waiting for us. The black stuff had to have a meaning as well; the way my stepmother reacted you'd have thought she'd believed me to be dead. The questions kept mounting, so much so I didn't notice the girl standing over me until her rancid breath flooded my nostrils.

I felt her cold, surprisingly strong hands clasp over my mouth to silence me as the little girl with the obscenely large bow in her hair from the fair smiled at me much like a cat smiles at a canary before knocking the cage over before whispering in my ear, "Well howdy Joseph. I would just love to show you something."