• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

twilightsparkle3562


I am a brony from Massachusetts with Autism who enjoys MLP, Disney and writing!

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Source

Hot Scoop is a young up and coming reporter for the Equestrian Journal assigned to a task no one at the office wanted to do...interview the newly re-imprisoned Lord Tirek in Tartarus following his magic stealing rampage on Equestria.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 18 )

KYLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7961113 Partners in Time, on Yoshi's Island, Kylie Koopa meets a giant Yoshizilla named Yoob and what's the first thing that pops into her head? She wants to do an interview with it.

The idea is not bad, in fact, it could be excellent. However, I find some flaws with the execution. First off, the pacing is a bit off.
It all goes to fast. There's barely any kind of transition between the office and Ponyville, and that scene goes by so quickly it's hard to get a good grasp of it.
The format could also use some work, but that's just my opinion. I believe the best way to to this would be writing it as an actual article for a newspaper. Use them for inspiration and try to adapt that writing style. I think that would make this story much more interesting.
As it is, I think it's just mediocre. I think you can do better. Now, don't take this the wrong way; I´m not trying to dash your hopes into the ground or being mean just because I´m an asshole. I'm trying to help you.
Anyway, keep trying, I still think something good could come out of this.

7963192 No, No, I don't think you are being mean about it at all. This is just part of the business of being a writer...to hear criticism.

7963411
I'm glad to hear you can take criticism well. Still, I still believe you could make something great out of this story.
However, I'd recommend you to start over again, or at least, re-edit the first chapter before continuing. I'd love to be an editor to your work, but unfortunately English isn't my mother tongue and I'd do a rather poor job at it. Still, keep trying. I know you could be great.

7963445 Well, I'd like to see you take a crack at it with your editing skills. Nobody is perfect and all that I ask of you is for you to do is to do your best. Do you have Google Docs?

7963893 If you don't mind my asking, which country are you from?

As someone who's dabbled in journalism a bit--I wish Rara could comfort me through bad interviews.

Or maybe that's just my fangirling showing.

Is this Story based on The Manson Interviews

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