• Member Since 30th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Monday

Cloudhammer


I never make mistakes. I thought I'd made one once, but I was wrong.

T

It has been three years since Equestria emerged into the Pacific Ocean. While the random hotspots of thaumatic radiation have subsided, one all-important question has remained unanswered: Why is magic only harmful to humans and higher primates? Dr. Amy Getton, Fluttershy, and a squad of Royal Guard veterans venture into the African jungle in an attempt to both answer this question and begin to work on ponifying the higher primates. But a dark threat lurks in the shadows, with its own nightmarish agenda.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 67 )

I love where this is headed. And Hah, Beat ya, WG....




Edit: and Cloud gives me too much credit.

First, wait a second... FFFUUUUUUUUDGUE! Oh well Ill get to it soons because the site hates my phone. But good job, fix the grammar and Rigomi is best pony I am out home slice.

Weee, its finally up!

As a bonus, this story is my first collaborative effort from the get-go! Aegis_Exemplar has graciously agreed to lend his writing skills to this story as it progresses.

I love it so far.

As if the HLF and PER weren't enough to worry about... yikes. Trouble on top of trouble.

Well, this is going to be interesting

Yay! Sequel time, Hooah! But are they seriously bringing nothing but officers? Nothing will ever get done. Need some good NCO's to make things happen. I'm sorry I keep harping on this. It just bugs me when I read a story about military themes and there's nothing about sergeants. It just breaks the immersion to me. Again, sorry. The Army gets inside your head like that. :pinkiehappy:

Great story!!

894459 while that is true, this is an Element of Harmony... also, I just made up the ranks initially to wing it for In Duty's Name, and now that the Guard is becoming a proper military force (in comparison to the US military), they're having some growing pains. But for this one, sending experienced guards to act as escort to Fluttershy/Amy seemed like a good idea to my brain at 5AM xD... plus they're my favorite characters and need some more love hehe

897387
And I would never ask you to change it, honestly. Why mess with a good thing? :derpytongue2:

But just FYI, for something like this, an escort mission breaking off from a larger mission, it'd most likely be a squad-sized element, which would include an officer,(most likely a 2LT or 1LT) a Staff Sergeant, a Sergeant, and around eight lower enlisted (privates). I've never run a mission like this before, though, but it would make sense to send an "actionable element" with the VIP, that is, one squad that has two teams of four to five.
But hey, it's the Equestrian military. I'm sure it'd work much different for us if we could fly and use magic. :pinkiehappy:

898784
897387
Well, Jake, As my OC is one of those, I just want to point out that in this case it means more like "Elite Trooper" than traditional Officer roles. Dn't forget, Equestria isn't a modern military force by any stretch of the imagination.

Aegis still sees himself as just a really good Grunt :eeyup:

905905
I kind of figured that. A Special Forces team, either SEALs or Green Berets, would be appropriate, as well.
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BUT, on that note, even a team would have just one officer and the rest NCOs. But whatever, they kick flank, so it's all good. :ajsmug:
And you have your OC in Cloudhammer's story? How the hell did you manage that? Lucky bastard...

906786 Well, it originally happened when I decided to create an Earth Pony branch of the Guard, I was trying to come up with a good character to use as the initial trainer, and immediately thought of good ol' Aegis here. Sat down and talked with him about it, and he graciously agreed to not only let me use the name, but to help me write his dialogue/actions. So now in this story, it's pretty much a collaborative fic between the two of us, with me bouncing my ideas off him, and him suggesting new directions or generally keeping me from getting too over the top silly

906841
Well, the two of you are doing a damn good job of it. Seriously, TFY was my introduction to the Conversion Bureau world, and it was amazing. This is shaping up to be just as good.

On that kind of same note, I'm writing a story of my own. It's a murder mystery, taking place a few years in the future, where Shining Armor has been promoted to General, and commands the Royal Unicorn Corps. The way I have it set up, in my head cannon, is the military is split into branches, like ours. The Unicorn Corps, commanded by SA, the Earth Pony Corps, for which I made up the name General Stone Wall. For the Pegasus Corps, I was wondering if you don't mind me using General Cloudhammer for a scene or two. He's not going to factor into the plot in any major way, just once, maybe twice he appears and gives advice to the young new General.

Here's the link if you wanna see how it starts out: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PS9W39Y6e6zbVeXxAHJNrnpLV6hDfa4j39L4-pEpce0/edit

906894 sure thing, I liked what I saw so far

908039
An author I admire likes my story...
*head 'splode* Thanks!

She's... Cross breeding with humans? Luna's lucky socks, that's not good

Edit: Celestia's generous flank, I'm first?

HA, I HAVE READ IT AND IT TWAS GOOD.

Oh dear. I wonder who that poor soul is.

Once again, my thanks go to Aegis_Exemplar, both for his work with me on the chapter, and for the ominous poem of the changelings. Couldn't have done this without ya buddy!

Well, once again you're welcome :twilightsmile: And to Everypony else: Happy reading

The children's poem was quite nice, I always like how dark somethings are despite being aimed at children. Keep up the good work!

I keep forgetting that this branched off before Royal Wedding. I need to remind myself BEFORE I read the chapter

Woah, so we have changeling conversion as well as pony conversion?

Also, did I miss an explanation as to why they are ponifying the bonobos?

936238 A significant portion of the animal rights movement objected to simply allowing those species to die out, since higher primates are affected by thaumatic radiation poisoning just like humans are. Research is still pending on another solution, but ponification for now remains the only concrete method of saving living specimens

936288 Oh, duh, that makes sense. Just because the expansion has stopped doesn't mean that it won't start up again and eventually get to Africa.

The poem was great by the way, so nice work Aegis.

I like stories where races from Equestria start treating humans as resources, especially considering the overnight population boom and subsequent geopolitical clout that would bring. When you have a deeply expansionist race like the changelings to boot, well, it makes perfect sense that they'd get in on trying to "convert" as many humans as possible.

Great chapter. I just love those moments in TCB stories when the human turned pony does or say something that make you think on how good it mit be to be a pony. :twilightsmile:

first contact... Hard contact

962481

Things ain't always pretty in their Majesties' service.

962481 You got to earn the right to guard those tea parties

I dare say it's time to call in some human back-up. Don't get me wrong, unicorn magic is bad ass and all, but SEAL Team Six or Delta Force armed with M-4's, M-249's, and M-67 Fragmentation grenades sounds like a good idea when going up against a Changeling hive. Aegis' buck could take your head off at point blank, but a 5.56mm round from an M-4 will kill you at 300 meters.

Damn it, I just want to help! That's how good this story is, dude. I want to jump through the screen with my shotgun and help the ponies!

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. :eeyup:

Woah, this is going from bad to worse. :pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy:

That being said, "For now, it had chosen to not tell any of its broodmates, and that worried it too, for proper drones shouldn’t be able to make choices on their own" rather seems to imply that not all is well in changeling-ville either.

963723 you and me both mate.


And Cloudy with a chance of potion I must ask you a question, why haven't the busted a can of big spray out or a large fly swatter?

Well, that was creepy.
I wonder if Chrysalis can kill a drone by separating it from the swarm?
Or if she can force herself into the drone's mind to make sure he doesn't reveal useful information?

I say, 'Time for a good old fashion bug hunt!' But I don't want to kill any changlings that have memories like Elias's son in them. :pinkiesad2:

Inspiration for this chapter includes:
"Here I Am" by Bryan Adams (specifically the version from Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron)
The scene from Aurora Spectralis when Rainbow Blitz holds his and Dash's daughter for the first time. Bit of an odd ship I know, but the author did a wonderful job capturing the emotion that I wanted :twilightsmile:

Aegis_Exemplar, for his continued help with Aegis' characterization, plot correction, and wonderful suggestions. I cannot thank you enough for all your help my friend :twilightsmile:

Glad that Flare, Nimbus, and the new little Breaker all made it out of Africa safely.

God, that got me right in the feels, dude. Poor Stardust. Buried with full military honors is my recommendation.

Though, I did feel a small swell of pride when Elias killed those changelings. That's my only real problem with TCB stories, the humans are always shown as being absolutely inferior, like we can't do anything without the ponies. That right there shows we can hold our own if need be. Besides, if there's one thing we are good at, it's killing. :derpytongue2:

D'aw.

i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/181/306/65768%20-%20Lyra%20artist%25253ALightbulb%20manly_tears%20parody%20reaction_face.png

Yet another amazing story, Cloudy. Once more, you make me emo that mine isn't as good. Can't wait to read the St. Louis Massacre!

Seems Legit. :coolphoto:
I wonder if changelings can do humans too...

865260
For my phone I just download as .txt and put it in dropbox, then use a e-reader app (Cool Reader is nice, if you got android)

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