Stuck in a Rainbow

by theRedBrony

I'm a... colt?! (Dash)

Hard to breathe.

Hard to breathe.

Face in cloud but hard to breathe…

Unless…

Face in pillow? I don't remember having a pillow on this cloud. And… this cloud's pretty hard. Maybe I'm at home. Pretty sure I was on a cloud. Ugh…

Oh well, I'll just go back to sleep.

…

My head feels like it's spinning. What they hay is going on?

I open my eyes.

It's still dark? Wait… no, I'm in a room. This… isn't my house. I can't tell where I am, my eyes are still blurry.

I rub my eyes with a foreleg.

Hey… that didn't feel right. I look at my leg. Well that's just wrong, what happened to my fur? And my hoof!?

I have… a claw?!

…Cool! I check out my new claws in the darkness. Oh Gilda, whatever happened between us? I make a 'fist' just like her when we got in that fight at flight camp. I do a 'thumbs up' and make a dirty gesture she once taught me about. Hehe. I wanna grab something!

I manage a sloppy grip on the blanket covering me, and throw it off.

WOW… it's freezing in here! And… hey… that's totally not me down there…

What the hay? My fur is gone! Except for way down there…

"MOTHER OF CELESTIA!" I put a hoo- um… claw over my mouth as I realize the voice that came out was a lot more masculine than it usually is... Not that my voice is masculine or anything.

I'm a colt!

And I'm a… I don't even know what I am!

But I'm obviously a colt!

OH no no no no no no no! This can’t be happening! I can’t just be a freaky furless colt! I gotta find out what's going on! I gotta get out of this bed!

I roll over onto my belly, and moving my freaky new hind legs (without hooves!), I manage to back myself off the bed, putting my hind… paws? Feet? Whatever! On the floor.

Wow, the floor feels weird. Or is it these feet? I rub them into this carpet. I can feel it brush up against my bare skin… that's a new feeling.

I back myself off the bed a little more. These legs don't feel right. All the joints are in the wrong places! I'm not gonna be able to stand like this! I wonder… what if I… use my forelegs to push myself up, rearing up on my hind legs, which is… surprisingly easy. I'm standing here… on just my hind legs?

How am I balanced so well? I don't know, but since I am, I take a look around. Obviously somepony's bedroom, as if the bed wasn't enough of a giveaway… There's a window in front of the bed, but it's covered by some weird kind of curtain, and there’s some machine thing in the bottom of it, blowing out freezing cold air. Dresser, desk, bookcase, and two doors… with doorknobs… the bane of my existence.

I take a step forward. I'm a little wobbly. I take another step…

THUNK

"YOW!" I fell back on my flank. I guess I wasn't balanced as well as I thought... I try to stand back up. Wow, there is no way I can walk on all fours like this. Yeah, it just ain't gonna happen.

Propping myself on the edge of the bed, I pull myself back up to my hind legs. Reminds me of that one time…

---

"Oh yeah? Let's see how far y'all can walk on yer hind legs." Applejack challenged me.

"Pssh. How hard can it be?!"

"No wings, RD…"

"I don't need wings to walk on my hind legs!"

"We'll see…" She gave me a mischievous smile.

Of course I took that challenge. I made it three steps before I lost my balance and fell back down to all fours.

Applejack just laughed in my face.

"OH YEAH?! I'd like to see you try!"

She reared up and walked at least ten steps before lowering herself – not falling – down and giving me a smug grin.

"Wha- how?" I gaped at her.

"Strong legs! Years of applebuckin'…"

---

I walk, step by step (still moving my forelegs to the steps, can't help it), to the door next to the bookcase. It's so weird walking on my hind legs… but it's like… not, at the same time.

Ah, doorknob. My old nemesis. We meet again.

But hey I got claws now! HA! Take that you stupid knob! I grab the metal abomination and it sends a shiver up my spine, making me let go. It has a defense mechanism! I gently touch it again and realize it's just cold. It FEELS cold. I turn it (AH HA!) and pull the door open.

Stuffy warm air washes over me as I walk slowly through the door frame and look around. There's some stairs and another open door. I don't think I'm ready to take on stairs with only two legs, so I shakily walk to the other door.

Another bedroom, with a really big bed. Kind of reminds me of my parents' bedroom. Has that sort of organized bedroom vibe that could only come from parents. There's a dresser with some kind of black rectangle thing on it. And another desk with a mirror on it.

I shuffle over to it, trying not to look in the mirror. But I do anyway. What the hay is that?! That thing is definitely not me!

It has… (I have!) tiny little eyes, I lean closer to the mirror, they look kinda blue-green. No fur on my face… wait… is that a beard or a patch of fur? It's sort of light brown, like the mane. Pointy nose… funny ears… in the wrong place. I back up from the mirror.

Are those titties? Why are they up here? I thought I was a colt…?

Slowly I twist myself sideways… and… yep, that's what I was afraid of…

No wings…

I walk over to the bed. Turns out, walking's not so hard, but staying standing is another story. Can't lock these knees to just relax. As I turn around to sit, I notice… I don't have a tail. And no cutie marks on my flanks? I guess that kinda makes sense, since I don't have fur…

Sigh

This… is really me, isn’t it? I guess I got my wish… Serves me right I guess. I’m a terrible friend…

Sniff

Right when I plop down on the bed I realize something.

I just woke up and I have to pee. Really bad. I look, reluctantly, between my hind legs…

The other door in this room is cracked open. I push myself back up on two legs and walk to it. I push it open and look inside.

Some light seeps in from a window, and rain softly patters on the glass. I wonder if there's pegasi up above those rain clouds…

Right, back to the task at hoof.

This kinda looks like a bathroom. There's a tub over there, and a sink, and a… toilet?

---

Well, THAT was interesting. Claws definitely helped though, you have no idea.

Well… even if I deserve this, I’m not just gonna sit around and sulk all day. Maybe I can find a way out of this mess? A way back home? Somepony to help me? Right now, I have nothing else to do but try to tackle those stairs. They look like they go down forever, makes me dizzy just thinking about it. But I'm not gonna be beaten by some stupid stairs and a weird new body! I grab the railing on the side – hey, is that what railings are for? – and take them on one step at a time.

I finally make it to the bottom.

A big room with a couple couches greets me. More of those strange black rectangle things, a big one on a table, the other on a desk. I wonder what they are? A clock on the wall fills the room with a constant ticking that even the rain can’t drown out, it's ten past one.

Hey, another door.

This room looks like a kitchen. I open (what I think is) the icebox and a light comes on inside. A bunch of food packages and bottles are spread out on the shelves. Milk, apple juice, is that bread? Who the hay puts bread in the icebox? And what the hay is 'Miracle Whip'? Hmm, ok, yogurt, a head of lettuce, a jar of olives (I hate olives), what the hay is 'bacon'? Turkey…

Wait, turkey?

Like… the bird…?

Whatever I am… must eat meat. Like griffons. Hmm…

---

"Hey G," I looked at Gilda with my head cocked sideways, "Whatcha eatin'?"

She looked like she saw a ghost, "Dash, um…"

"It's meat isn't it?" I’d known for a while what griffons ate, but I didn’t really know how to approach the subject, so I usually just avoided it. But that day was different. "So griffons eat meat, huh?"

"Yeah…" She carefully responded.

"Hmm…" I scratched my chin with a hoof. Something had always interested me about eating dead animals (as gross as that sounds). And I couldn’t help but wonder, what do they taste like? (Don't judge me!) But that’s not something I could ever tell my pony friends, of course. Gilda, on the other hoof…

She rolled her eyes at me and took another bite of her lunch.

I had this chance to finally satisfy my morbid curiosity, "Can I try some?"

She spit out her food. "DASH! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

---

My stomach rumbles.

Well… Like Gilda used to say, ‘meat’s meat and a griffon’s gotta eat.’

Turkey can't be that different from Gilda's chicken…

---

Author's Note:

Yes, that’s a reference to my story Dash Eats Meat and the fight she mentions was in Flight Camp. You should totally go read both of those if you haven’t already :3

There's a third (obscure) movie reference in this chapter. Internet cookie for whoever gets it.

Don’t worry. Dash’s side of the story gets more interesting and adventurous later.

What do you think Dash’s ‘wish’ was?

Comments

[Jlargent]

Wait, since Gilda is part Eagle doesn't that mean that she's a cannibal by eating chicken?

[gcwg57]

i'm assuming that she's (he) is not wearing anything.

[butterfield pancake]

2115121 Not really Eagle's are birds of Prey they eat other Birds

[Esme]

2115121
Are humans cannibals for eating cows?

Who the hay puts bread in the icebox?

Seriously though, who the hell does that?

[RustyBolts]

2115121 As much of a cannibal as you would be if you ate monkey. Less, actually.

[World Theory]

I read Dash Eats Meat before this. I laughed when I read "'Hey G,' I looked at Gilda with my head cocked sideways, 'Whatcha eatin''?"

[sugarush13]

don't do it dash! You have to cook it first!

[LunarRai]

2122741
People who are slow to eat bread.

If it's frozen, mold won't grow, you just have to defrost the slices in the microwave before you use it.

[shy sad jaded shard]

dash is fun so far the meat thing don't bother me as she is or in this case was a Pegasus and for me the idea of a Pegasus eating some meat like fish just feels normal and in many fics they eat eggs(shudders at the thought of eating eggs)

[The Zealot]

Ponies (And other herbivores) can actually eat meat, only downside is indigestion and if they keep eating it, it'll fuck with their minds due to different hormones or some such shit, bad stuff man.

[ferret]

She wished for... claws?