Previous Chapter Summary3,149 words
Come Hell or High Water (Church)1,408 words
Lefty Loosey (Dash)2,037 words
Total Recall (Church)2,408 words
Righty Tighty (Dash)3,040 words
Horse Pile (Church)2,354 words
Friendship is Magic (Dash)2,380 words
Soldier is SPY! (Church)2,820 words
Cleaning Up and Making Up (Dash)3,188 words
Church's Epilogue1,124 words
Dashie's Epilogue1,118 words
Human Character Pictures!55 words

Brilliantly Planned Heist (Dash)

We're in Morgan's car, stopped right down the road from the house with the barn. Danny's house. The one place where everyone was definitely a changeling…

"So… do you think this could be a trap? I mean… what's-his-number over here kinda told us to come here…" I ask Morgan.

"We'll never know until it happens," Morgan points out. "Besides, it's not like we can ask for help. Haven't you noticed something strange around town today? How many people have you seen? Seems like nobody is out today. If we're really dealing with…" he looks behind him, "changelings… I can't help but wonder if they're behind that, too."

I look behind me. Our pet changeling eyes us innocently and shrugs.

"So I'd rather be on the safe side. Trust no one. That's the main reason I wanted to stay away from the druggies, they were acting weird… even for druggies. Just keep your eyes peeled, we only know about three or four of these… imposters, but there could be more."

"Dude," backseat changeling pipes up, "Did you suddenly take a brain steroid? I liked you better when you were dumb and reckless…"

Morgan pointedly ignores that.

"Well… Ok, I guess…" I agree.

"By the way Dashie, why aren't you trying to find a way to get home? All you're doing is helping these lame humans, it's really boring," what's-his-number complains.

"Huh?"

"I mean, think of all the things that crazy 'Church' guy is doing in your body! Ha, imagine you, the great Rainbow Dash, making poor, poor, little Fluttershy cry."

He wouldn’t do that… would he? I look down at myself. He doesn't seem like a bad… person.

"Oh, how the hay would you know anyway?" I ask.

"Well how long do you think I've been in this world? I saw 'you' make Flutters cry and then laugh about it. I even felt a little sorry for her."

"What?! Why would he do that…? Morgan, why would Church do that?!"

"…You were, er, he was never... the biggest pony fan… Aw, don't worry. I'm still sure he wouldn't do that… without a good reason, anyway." He smiles reassuringly.

"Wow! And I thought I was the liar."

"Ah HA! So you were lying!" I accuse!

"Keep saying that when you go back to your body and everyone hates you. Better go back soon before Church can do anything really stupid."

"I kinda don't know how, and like I was saying Morgan, you think maybe we should bring some kind of weapons with us?"

He thinks about it. Morgan leans over and whispers to me, "I've heard changelings are hurt by silver…"

"Oh no! Not silver!? OUR ONE TRUE WEAKNESS!!! That's werewolves moron."

"Well," Morgan starts, "unless we sneak up on them they'll probably know we're coming anyway. Besides, I have a feeling they have a way to communicate and this guy already warned them."

"Seriously, when did you suddenly become intelligent?"

"Ok, you wanna go or what? And what should we do with this guy?" I ask.

"Oh you can just leave me here, I'm sure no one will take me. Just roll the window down a little bit, I'll be fine."

Morgan looks at him in the back seat. "Surely you can't be serious."

"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."

Morgan rolls his eyes and sighs. "Anyway," he looks back to me, "you should try to stay in the open as best as you can. Forgive me Church, but I'm having a hard time believing you're a pony. But I guess it's either that, or you've lost your goddamned mind. Either way, I don't know if you can tell, but you aren't exactly built to fight, you're built to run. If we fight, it's kick and run, got it?"

I look at my human body in disappointment. He's probably right. I was hoping to kick some changeling flank, other than the punching bag in the back seat, of course, but oh well… "Yeah, kick and run, got it."

Morgan drives us closer and we get out.

"Well… if you need to run…" he points, "out the back, run to the trail to the woods. If you need to run out the front, run into town and hide somewhere." Morgan looks at me like we're going on a suicide mission.

I gulp. "Got it."

We walk up to the house, place almost looks deserted. It's quiet. Too quiet. Most of the windows are open. Morgan starts sneaking up to the side. I follow closely behind him.

The door is open, Morgan quietly opens it and pokes his head inside. He waves his hand, signaling me to follow him inside.

It's a living room, there's some couches and a coffee table. Two doors, one closed, one open, and one doorway into another room. Morgan picks that doorway, while I pick the closed door. I slowly turn the knob… hehe… and crack the door open.

I look inside, nopony's here. It's just some office with a desk. I figure I'll go join Morgan.

I pass by the open door and look inside. A laundry room. Morgan goes through the doorway into a kitchen. There are two doorways on the left and one hallway.

Morgan leads the way, clearing the first door, then the hall, which I can see the front door at the end of. Actually, there's another door down the hallway, but he doesn't seem to care about it. We walk through the dining room, and we wind up in the room with the comfy couch, where I played that game.

Morgan taps his chin in thought, "Hmmm... I feel like I'm missing something," he whispers.

I glance outside a window.

Ack! Stupid sun got in my eyes!

I look back outside, carefully this time, I squint at the car…

"Great, our friend is missing," I whisper to Morgan, and point out the window.

We can see the front door from here, it's still closed and I never heard it open.

"Great, he must be sneaking around the back. Wanna check out the basement or upstairs?"

"Umm… can we get in the basement from outside? Or is there a window maybe, so we can sneak up on them?" I whisper as quietly as possible.

"Yeah there's tons of windows in the basement. There is only one entrance to it, it's in the back."

"Cool, let's go outside then."

Morgan walks out the front door and we go around the house. In back, there's three windows, all open, and a back door to the basement.

Clunk

I'm pretty sure that was a door closing inside the house. Looks like Morgan heard it too. Probably that one door in the hallway we skipped.

I take a look in one of the windows. I see a pool table, three couches, a set of weights, a small table, a door, and stairs going up. I check another window and it looks like that one door goes to a room full of boxes and junk.

"Hey, let's try to get in that door." I point to the door.

"Alright." He walks to the entrance to the basement but the door won't open.

I look up. If only I could just fly up there…

"Wait, instead of going in there and having our flanks handed to us, couldn't we get them to come outside?"

"We can try, but it seems like they're avoiding us."

A few seconds pass… neither of us know what to do…

"I think we should just go inside and clear all the rooms," Morgan finally says.

"Didn't we just… do that?"

"Well we probably missed something… Let's just go." He walks off towards the other back entrance.

He's acting weird…er than usual. "Fine." I follow him.

At least the door was unlocked. We're in that office-y room I saw earlier.

We manage to sneak down the stairs to the basement without getting caught. Down here, we try the only door, and it's locked.

"Any idea where they keep the keys?" I ask.

"Probably on them..."

"Hmm…" I crouch down and try to get a look under the door, but all I see is a concrete floor…

"Is anyone in there?" I ask the door as quietly as possible. I hear scratching on the door. "Is that a dog?"

"A cat."

"Great…"

"What do they think we are, stupid?"

Maybe they just put a cat in there to trick us…

"Got any brilliant plans?" Morgan asks.

"I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'…"

I'm sick of snooping around… "You wanna just go upstairs and take them head on?"

"Not really but I can't think of anything else."

"If we're gonna fight them anyway, we could just break the door open, then they'll come to us and we might find the missing people," I helpfully suggest.

"They're obviously guarding something upstairs and won't come down until we leave or go up there."

"Alright, whatever. Let's do this!"

"Hold on, I just had an idea."

"Oh... what? NOW you have an idea?!"

"…"

"Well, spit it out already!"

"Ok basically, I leave you here. Ok?"

"What?! How does that even…? You know what, fine. Go ahead. Maybe I can get this door open while you're out."

He leaves, and I fiddle with this door for a while. But nothing seems to work. After a couple minutes, Morgan comes back in.

"Ok, it might work."

"Cool. What might work?"

"You. Hiding in a bathroom."

"…What…?"

"You. Hiding in a bathroom, then sneaking upstairs."

"So… you'll distract them?"

"Kinda..."

"Oh… kay…?"

He quietly walks up the stairs, peeks his head out to check if the coast is clear, and I follow him out. He points to a door right by the stairs, the bathroom. Thankfully, the door doesn't make that much noise opening. I get inside, and close the door, hiding in the dark.

I hear Morgan going back downstairs. A minute later, I hear his car driving away. Did he really just… leave me here?

Before I think about it too long, I hear two sets of footsteps come from upstairs and they leave out the front door. Ha! I knew a distraction would work! Then two more come much slower, one leaves out the front door and the other seems to go down to the basement.

That's my cue, I quietly slip out of the bathroom and make my way up the stairs.

Up here, there's a little hallway, with five doors, two on my right and three to the left. I pick the first one on the right. The door opens to a medium sized bedroom, with nothing but a mattress on the floor with a little TV in front of it. But I check the closet just to be sure.

The next bedroom is a little smaller but has more bedroom-y furniture, and the walls are painted Pinkie Pie pink… No closet, but I check under the bed.

The next bedroom is a bathroom. Nothing to see here.

The door at the end of the hall is locked… I jiggle the knob, but it won't budge.

Last door, and it's locked too. But hey, what's that? There's something shiny on top of the door frame… A key! I fumble with the lock but get it open. Inside! There's a… 'nother bedroom.

Sigh

Nothing special. I check the closet though…

Uh oh… the guy in the basement is coming back upstairs!

Thinking fast, I close the bedroom door as quickly and quietly as possible, then I hide in the closet.

He takes his time coming up the stairs. Seems like he wanders around the hallway a little.

Click

Oh, buck. He's in my room… don't open the closet, don't open the-

"Oh hey there Dashie, we thought you left."

BUCK!

Our douchebag Conner imposter lunges at me in the closet but I side step him and get out of the door. Ha! He grabs me by the legs and throws them upward, leaving me to fall flat on my face. He tackles me and grapples me until it's practically unbreakable! I keep struggling, trying to get out of his grip. I think I'm getting loose-

THUD

Wha?

Where am I?

Ow, my head!

I try to lift my arm, but… I can't. I look around, squinting from the bright light. Oh joy, I'm in the barn again… tied to a chair… again…

"Oh not again!"

"Good afternoon Dashie, how are you feeling after your little power nap?"

"Like crap," I answer instinctively then look up. Conner… "Oh, it's you…"

"Yeeessss… looks like the horseshoe's on the other hoof, eh Dashie?" He smirks at me like the smart-flank he is.

Ain't that the truth. Now he's got me tied up. I hope I don't get to be his punching bag like he was mine…

"Untie me, I gotta take a leak."

"Well then, that chair's going to get increasingly more uncomfortable for you isn't it?" He says with a devious little grin.

Sigh

"You're not letting me outta here are you?"

"Well it's my job to make you as angry and miserable as possible, and that's just step one. I think I'm going to enjoy my time with you…."

"Oh you stupid…!" Wait… "Hang on… why would you want me to be angry? Don't you guys eat love and, ya know, good emotions…?"

"Oh please, you don't have any good emotions."

"I… what? Of course I do!"

"Oh? Then why are you here? You must dearly love your friends if you wished to be here."

Ugh! "Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about," I say through gritted teeth.

"Well I think it's very clear that I do know what I'm talking about," he says smugly. "Oh, you should see what this kid is doing in your body, it's hilaaaarious!"

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?! Wait. How would you know?! You're just saying that to make me angry!"

"Oh, I keep in touch with my friends. They told me all about how Church ran away from all your friends at the first sign of trouble. Pretty funny, they didn't even know he was mind-swapped with you. Their Element of Loyalty just up and ran away from them… what a good friend."

"OK! You know what? I'M ANGRY! NOW WHAT?!"

"Now we wait." He starts humming some catchy tune.

I just sit and glare daggers at him.

"Oh don't look at me like that, you're the one that wanted to be here. Besides… you should be sad, you're never gonna see your friends again."

"They'll figure it out and come get me. I got here, right?! How could I not be able to get back?!"

"Well I hope they don't. We're having such a great time together aren't we?" Sarcasm.

"Yeah, barrels of fun…" I could use a cider right now.

"Really?" He frowns. "Well I'm not doing a very good job then am I? Want to hear another story?"

"Not really…"

"Oh ok." He hums some more. "After Church ran away he found Celestia and continued to lie to her about being Rainbow Dash. Thankfully all your friends trust you… or else he wouldn't be able to ruin your life."

"Oh, come on! How could he just pretend to be me?! You can't fake this level of awesome!"

"Are you asking a changeling how someone can pretend to be someone?" He chuckles. "He knows you by the way, at least somewhat."

"How could this Church guy know me?" Wait. Morgan knew about Rarity…

"Oh come on, I don't know everything. But he at least knows that you're a lesbian."

"What?! No I'm not!"

"…Really?"

"That thing with Gilda was one time! ONE TIME!"

"Oh please, like I actually care about that." He rolls his eyes. "You really shouldn't lie to yourself though," he says condescendingly.

Ok… it might have been more than once… "Buck off."

"Well I see you talking, but all I can hear is 'Tell me more stories'. I told you about the time Church made Fluttershy cry right? Heh, that was priceless."

"Yeah, ya told me that one."

"Funny right?"

I stare at him menacingly.

"THAT'S NOT A YES!"

"You're right! It isn't!"

"Well I thought it was funny."

…

"Hey isn't Twilight supposed to be really smart, why can't she see through Church? She seems pretty dumb to me."

"Twilight's not dumb! She's the biggest egghead around."

"Well then she's probably not a very good friend if she can't tell that you aren't you. Maybe you're not as good of friends as you think. Don't you want to go back and figure that out?"

"Yes!"

"Pity."

I hear the door to the barn open and footsteps running towards us. It's what's his name? Silas I think. The tall guy. He's got what looks like a scroll. He hands it to eh, what's-his-number who reads it in disapproval. He looks up from the paper and glares at me.

"Rainbow..." he says, walking closer.

THUMP

"OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!" He punched me in the face REAL hard!

"...Why aren't you gone yet?"

Author's Note:

Ooooh... what the hell happened here? Anyone care to guess what's going on here?

Also, is anyone else's fimfiction derping right now? I think Knighty's working on the site or something.

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World Theory

World Theory #1 · Jul 22nd, 2013 · · ·

Anyone care to guess what's going on here?

Celestia teamed up with the changelings to get Rainbow to want to go back home? I don't know, seems screwy to me…

Fimfiction is working fine for me.

Borderline Valley

Borderline Valley #2 · Jul 22nd, 2013 · · ·

Anyone care to guess what's going on here?

Her emotional state is the key to the whole problem, Changelings are some sort of inter-dimensional cops, and on some level RD doesn't really want to go back home. They want to make it hate it here so she wants to go back, which is what will actually make it happen.

Stuck in a Rainbow - theRedBrony

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