Mysteries on the Horizon
Chapter 15: Mysteries on the Horizon
"And then she just calls the whole thing off!" Astrolabe Circinus seethed in her seat, slamming a white-knuckled fist down on the table.
Abacus Cinch took a sip of her glass of water. She glanced around the room, eyes trailing over the chalk sign displaying the various lunch specials of the day, at the paintings on the wall, at tables covered in white cloth and booths like their own. The room was filled with the chatter of customers and the rattling of dishes as busboys and busgirls ran in and out of the kitchen. Their own booth was at the back, allowing for very few others to see them.
To her relief, none of the other patrons had been attracted by Astrolabe's outburst. The only one staring, in fact, was a lone waitress.
The girl stepped forward cautiously, keeping closer to Abacus than Astrolabe. "Um, are you ladies ready to order?"
"Not quite yet," replied Abacus, shooing the girl away with a wave of her hand. She turned to her sister, expression flat as her pink eyes bored into Astrolabe over the edge of her glasses. "You're losing your temper again," she chided. "I didn't invite you to lunch and pick a private booth so you could draw unwanted attention."
"Excessive told me that Pearl is no longer interested in having a sister," continued the younger Cinch slowly, lowering her voice, but unwilling to end her rant. She nursed her glass of water, allowing the ice to clink together, before taking a very long sip. "Do you know what that little waste is doing instead? She's going sailing! She actually wants to steer a boat."
Astrolabe set the glass down, eyes fixed on the water inside. "Perhaps she'll be eaten by sharks," she scoffed. "One can only hope."
"I'd say the odds are more in favor of her crashing the vessel before she ever made it out far enough to find any shark populations," remarked Abacus.
"Mmm, I suppose you're right. But you haven't heard the most laughable thing," insisted Astrolabe. "Pearl is actually planning to get a GED."
Abacus's eyebrows shot up. "You're kidding."
"Unfortunately, no."
The elder Cinch could only shake her head, unable to believe how ludicrous the world could be. "What a waste of time and resources. The girl's an intellectual vacuum. Someone like her would never be able to pass." Not without cheating, at any rate. Or, rather, having someone help her cheat. Pearl was far too dim to successfully cheat all on her own.
Astrolabe nodded in agreement. "I don't know what got into her, but it's probably the most foolish thing she's ever done. And worst of all, it's caused me a great deal of trouble." She sighed, and Abacus saw her sister's body sag. She actually looked... defeated. Abacus couldn't remember the last time she'd ever seen her that way.
"I'm not sure what course of action to take," said Astrolabe. "With Excessive no longer interested, I have very little solid ground to stand on."
"No, you really don't." It wasn't a jab as much a statement of fact.
Astrolabe scrutinized her. "You seem rather unperturbed by this turn of events, Abacus. I thought you wanted to get back at these girls. Don't tell me things have turned around at Crystal Prep."
Abacus Cinch froze for a moment. "They have not," she replied with irritation. Dean Cadance's popularity was continuing to soar, hers continued to plummet, and the students were more and more unruly. Their track team had actually been proud of getting second place at the regional meet.
She took another sip of water, relishing the cold chill of the liquid as it ran down her throat. "I do still plan to get back at them," she said with an air of almost complete serenity.
Her sister leaned in closer. "You have a plan?"
Abacus nodded. "Indeed, I do. I'll tell you while we're eating." She waved over the waitress.
"When is this plan of yours going to start?" asked Astrolabe as she picked up the menu.
Abacus ran through a set of timetables in her head, and smiled. "Very soon."
It was the lunch period, and seven very special girls were gathered at their usual table, with their usual assortments of food.
"Hi girls," said Sunset as she slid onto the plastic seat.
"Hey, Sunset," greeted Applejack, popping open a bottle of fizzy apple cider.
"Ugh," said Rainbow. Her head dropped onto the table, cushioned by her arms. "I hate moles."
Six pairs of eyes stared at her. "Wow," said Pinkie Pie. "That was random."
Sunset raised an eyebrow. This from the reigning champion of random?
"I think moles are cute," muttered Fluttershy.
"I think they're interesting animals," said Twilight. "But we've never really had any in our yard, so I don't have any actual experience in dealing with them."
"Moles can be attractive sometimes," said Rarity, preoccupied by adjusting one of the decorations on her bag. "One of the other employees has a mole on her cheek that works rather well for her."
"Hold on," interrupted Applejack in confusion. "I thought we were talkin' about the animal."
"Ooh, or were we talking about spies?" gasped Pinkie. Her head darted left and right, and then she dashed over to a neighboring table, going up to Lyra and Bon-Bon, and squinting suspiciously at the latter. "Hmmm..." She pulled back. "Nope, no spies here."
"I wasn't talking about any of those things," groaned Rainbow Dash. "I had a pop quiz in chemistry."
"Oh!" Twilight smiled in realization. "You meant that kind of mole."
"I couldn't remember that stupid constant," moaned Rainbow. "Who can remember such a weird num—"
"Avocado's constant," Sunset replied. "It's six—"
"—Point zero-two-two times ten to the twenty-third power," finished Twilight. "Actually, I've read that there are plans to revise the mole's technical definition, but that hasn't gone through yet."
"Really?" asked Sunset.
"Oh yes," said Twilight with a nod, "along with other SI-based units of measurement."
"Showoffs," complained Rainbow, burying her face even deeper into her arms.
With a bit of laughter, consoling, and offers of help, the seven of them soon transitioned into general chatter as they dug into their lunches, what they planned to do after class, when each of them could get together, some harmless gossip, so on and so forth.
The conversation was interrupted about ten minutes in when they heard a buzzing sound. Instinctively, the girls all reached for their phones. "It's mine," said Rarity, pulling her phone from her purse. She looked at the screen, blinking in puzzlement. "What would Mother be calling me about at this time of day?"
"Maybe she needs you to pick up some groceries?" suggested Twilight.
"You could be right." Rarity pressed the button and held the phone up to her ear. "Hello?"
Sunset watched as, in the course of a minute, Rarity's eyes went as wide as saucers, and her complexion turned pale. Of course, the fashionista had always been pale, but now she was practically translucent.
Applejack was the first to speak. "What's wrong, sugarcube?"
Rarity hung up the phone, turning slowly to face them. "M-My..." she stuttered, unable to find the words.
"What happened?" Sunset asked, placing a concerned hand on her friend's shoulder. "Rarity, what's wrong?"
Rarity stared into Sunset's eyes. Her next words were shaky and frightened. "My father... he's been arrested."
Equestria, a few days ago...
Bottom Bit wandered through the alley, kicking a half-crushed can as he went. The pegasus scratched at his chin, hoof meeting his scruffy teal beard, matched by an equally scruffy mane and tail that had seen better days. In fact, all of him had seen better days.
It didn't used to be like. Once, he'd been an assistant bank manager. He'd eaten at good restaurants, had a nice house, a shiny gold watch, and was liked by his employers. He'd been looking at a promotion, and one of the secretaries had even fancied him, giggling and blushing at him whenever they'd talked. His life had been looking up.
But then he'd spilled ink all over some documents belonging to the bank president. His attempt to fix it just resulted in his wings blowing the pages into the office fireplace, reducing everything to ash, and him being fired on the spot.
He'd tried to find other work at the numerous other banks in the city, but a newly-formed reputation as a klutz preceded him everywhere he went. A perpetual optimist, he'd held out hope that he'd find work. But as the days turned into weeks, and the bills piled up, he'd been forced to sell possession after possession to get by.
Then about two months ago, the bank, his bank, foreclosed on his home. His colleagues all abandoned him. Even the secretary abandoned him. So here he was, fending for himself among the homeless ponies, the lost and forgotten in this place of lights and opportunity.
Not entirely forgotten, he reminded himself. His hoof moved down to the scarf wrapped around his neck. It was thick and warm, and decorated with brightly colored birds. A pony had given it to him a few weeks ago.
Coco Pommel, that was her name. She was always so kind, volunteering at the shelters, giving away food and old clothing. One day, when she'd given away all of the latter and he came in complaining of cold, she'd given him her scarf. Her own scarf. Something she'd sewed herself, something that was hers and hers alone, and she'd given it to him just like that. Bottom Bit had almost burst into tears right then and there.
His stomach growled, sounding not unlike a great lion. He hadn't eaten anything for a few days. A voice in the back of his mind told him he could sell the scarf for a decent meal, or a couple of meals, but Bottom Bit rejected that thought. He couldn't sell it, not for anything. He was going to give it back to Coco one of these days, when things were better. Yes, "when", not "if".
Still feeling the pangs of extreme hunger, the pegasus searched through the nearby trash cans for anything halfway decent looking. It was surprising, what some ponies threw away. His initial search yielded nothing, and he tried another can, finally finding a not-too-bad-looking carrot.
He munched on it eagerly, savoring what taste it had. But it didn't even begin to satisfy the hole he felt in his stomach. "I'm starving," he moaned.
It was then that he heard a shuffling at the other end of the alley. Bottom Bit tensed, fearing danger. Not everypony on these streets was so benign.
A mint green stallion rounded the corner. "Who's there?" came a gruff voice, words raspy and thick with sleep, but no less threatening. "If ya come ta fight, I'll take you all on!"
He was much older than Bottom Bit, his mane a pure white, laying in tangles around his shoulders and half submerging his ears. It was his face, however, that made Bottom Bit gasp. It was wizened, etched with lines and wrinkles, like great canyons in his skin. And the mouth, the mouth was twisted by a horrible looking scar, making the stallion look like he had a constant scowl. His left eye too, bore a scar, a pale horizontal slash that stopped at the bridge of his nose, while and the eye itself was a milky white.
"I'm not here to fight," declared Bottom Bit, fully intimidated by the sight of this hardened pony. "I promise. I... I just wanted to find some food."
The unicorn turned to face him, his one eye narrowing as he trotted in Bottom Bit's direction. Or at least he tried to. He walked with a pronounced limp, dragging his right hind leg uselessly along the ground, which only made Bottom Bit wince.
As he drew closer, Bottom Bit had to stop himself from holding his breath. The other stallion wore a dark brown coat heavy with stains, and which reeked of Bottom didn't know what. Not that Bottom had grounds to complain, since his own hygiene wasn't much better.
The unicorn stopped before him, silently staring with that one raspberry eye. Bottom Bit held up his hooves.
"I-I don't want to fight," he repeated. "Please, don't hurt me."
The unicorn blinked, and then, to the pegasus's surprise, he burst out laughing. "You think I'm going to hurt ya?" He smiled, but the scar on his mouth made it look more like a grimace. "Don't worry. Some of the other ponies in these parts, they don't play so nice, and I have to show them what's what. But you're not one of 'em." The unicorn peered closely at him. His one good raspberry eye had a sharpness to it that belied the pony's age. "What's yer name, young fella?"
"Bottom Bit," replied the pegasus politely. "Who are you?" He'd become familiar with several of the homeless ponies that tended to frequent this neighborhood, but he didn't recognize this one.
"They call me Old Trotter," said the unicorn. "Yer wondering about my scars, aren't ya? Got them fighting a Bug Bear, I did." He puffed out his chest. "Fought the blasted thing to the end. I won, but it got a few good licks on me."
Bottom Bit opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by another terrible growl. He clutched his belly.
Old Trotter laughed again, then broke in a wheezing cough. "I'm alright," he said, waving off Bottom Bit's concern. "My lungs just act up sometimes." He patted the other pony on the back. "Ain't nothing to be ashamed of. We're all hungry out here."
"I'd rather be ashamed than hungry," replied Bottom Bit, still clutching his aching belly. "I think I'm going to collapse soon if I don't get something."
Old Trotter frowned at him, his twisted mouth dropping as much as it could. Suddenly, his eyes narrow, peering over Bottom Bit's shoulder at the street signs beyond the alley. "Hey now, I know this place." He clapped a hoof on Bottom Bit's shoulder. "I think we're both in luck."
Bottom Bit looked on in confusion as the old stallion began to search the alley, checking every inch of the wall. "What do you mean?" he asked finally.
The unicorn moved a pile of garbage. "My buddies told me that last winter, they made a little shelter around here. Filled it up with food they'd filched and all sorts of other stuff. Saved their flanks, they told me. They've moved on from this part of town, but they told me that if I needed it, they left all sorts of stuff in there to use and eat."
Bottom Bit frowned in disbelief. He certainly didn't see any shelters. Just piles of garbage. And if Old Trotter meant the buildings around them, those were sealed up tight. "You're sure?"
"Trust me, young fella. Ah, here we go!" He smiled, waving a hoof dramatically as he pointed at a wooden board set against the wall. With a burst of magic, he shoved it aside to reveal a door set into the brick. A side entrance.
Bottom Bit raced up to it, trying the door, but found it firmly locked. "It won't open," he said, crestfallen.
Old Trotter's brow furrowed, then he slapped his forehead. "I'm getting soft. Hold on." He pawed at the bricks with a hoof until one came loose, and the unicorn pulled out a key. "They said they'd hidden it."
With a click, the door was unlocked, revealing the dark interior. Staring at it, Bottom Bit felt a sudden wave of apprehension. "Is this really okay? You said the stuff your friends had was stolen." With all the trouble he'd gotten into already, the last thing he wanted was to break the law.
Old Trotter just laughed. "Don't worry so much, young fella. Yer hungry, ain't ya? Go on." The pony gave him a light shove. "We can both eat and warm up in here."
The pegasus took a calming breath. The old timer was right. He was worrying too much. If there was food in here, he needed to take it before he starved to death, and the building would be a good place to sleep, besides. With a confident spring in his step, he walked inside. Old Trotter followed, closing the door behind them.
Bottom Bit would never walk out.
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This was quite a sharp change from the previous chapters. I thought I was reading a completely different story until you got to the Cinches.
How many more chapters would you estimate before the second plot actually connects to the main plot?
Going after Celestia.
These three bimbos are going... after... Celestia...
Putting aside just how far the deep end of treason that makes them jump, is there any villain in Equestria who doesn't forget that this is the mare who raises the sun and that killing her is a very bad idea?
Wow.
9567499
Not only that but that monster or whatever it is that if it DID eat Celestia he would then get lite on fire by the Princesses power as the Princess would then burn a hole through said monsters body, also I got to wonder what happened to get Human Rarity's father arrested.
So now we have a closer look at the B plot here. I assume these two are going to intersect at some point.
Also, Rarity's dad being arrested? What have Circinus and Cinch cooked up this time?
Something tells me that Sunny Skies will mean whatever they have planned to do to Princess Celestia will either fall flat or not work as intended.
Woooooow, this just took B-plot in a DARK direction... especially now that we get our first look at the mastermind (and apparent culprit) behind all these attacks. Seriously, though, the HELL did that thing do to these ponies? It's like they got attacked by a vampire that liquefied and just drank part of them out. A very, very hungry and primal vampire. Which could potentially explain its reacting so angrily at mere mention of the sun... hm.
9567458
Hmm. Well, I'd planned for things to connect in the next chapter... or if, like I've done more than once already with this story, I've overestimated the content I can put in a reasonably sized chapter and end up splitting it in two, the chapter after that. But if that happened, I'd realize it while I was writing it, and I'd imagine the chapters would be closer together as far as publishing date. But I'm aiming for things to things to start connecting in the next chapter.
9567543
... Is that a good wow or a bad wow?
y'all
____________
Ugh! Really hate the whole trio, unnecessary villians being forced into the story. I mean you really are taking away from the main focus.
And who in the hell are those 3? When did Twilight prevent them from becoming alicorns? Who the fk was Harmony? Why did she need glasses? And why in the hell are we supposed to care?
Literally all the plot holes! And it's unnecessary!
Luna and Celestia already have tons of problems naturally occurring by the pure essence of the spell Celestia is using.
Forcing this angle with beings no one knows or cares about. Literally destroyed an entire chapter spent following Princess Celestia struggling in Equestria now her brain's split; follow Human puppet Celestia.
Or simply follow through with what was going on with Rarity's family.
It's just unnecessary drama to force a conflict instead of using one of several dozen you have in play.
9567764
It's an unnecessary forced conflict that Literally could have been replaced with the dozens of plot threads, conflicts, and challenges already in the story.
Adding those three are unnecessary and immersion breaking.
Nice chapter this story from the start gave so many ideas on if this actually happened in between the third and forth movie
9568065
That kinda implies that the whole arc of the story was somehow set already when Circinus and Cinch played their cards, and we found out about Celestia's limitation... For one thing, that limitation is likely only now gonna become a serious on-screen issue 'cause of the machinations of these three now running rampant in Equestria. And Circinus and Cinch may be good, but they're not so good as to convincingly tie into the Equestria-side plot -- yet. Bringing the three (or four?) new antagonists in is a twist that opens up new avenues for the story to explore. It gives already-developed threads on the Earth-side plot time to resolve, but also time for Equestria-side to meet with the other plot with these new threads being developed now. There aren't really plot-holes that I can see, just plot elements that are either in their nascency or have yet to be finished. I have faith they'll make sense in due time.
9568102
What about the thefts that were apparently news worthy over in Equestria that coincides with Sunny Skies going to Sunset Shimmer? What of Sunny mentioning the problems that Celestia was psychologically facing from having her mind split? What of Twilight and Luna riding her about how it's affecting her? What of Celestia embezzling from Royal Coffers?
There are already a buck ton of massive Equestrian side. All built up as super important, super impacting, and effecting Equestria on massive scales.
But we see none of it. It's implied at most, or thrown as a plot point that takes back seat to this nonsense.
I mean in its own separate psychological thriller / horror - adventure? Sure! With appropriate build up.
But here? This is a Slice of Life Drama. A Highschool Centric fic about the struggles of Sunset Shimmer and her friends. While reconnecting with Celestia.
There are tons of problems in Equestria built into the story. Made a big deal. But instead of exploring that, and building on already stated problems. We get these guys who are utterly inappropriate for the type of story and premise this story is.
Show us more thefts! Show us Personally Celestia's psychological struggle with her mind split! Show us Luna worrying about her sister's well being! Show us the economical ramifications of the embezzling! Show us all the mountains of problems that were brought up!
But we get absolutely none of that. We get a totally different jumble of genres tossed in. With all those important plot threads utterly ignored.
9568154
I would agree that the Equestria plot is pretty unesecarry it honestly feels like something that would be better off in a sequel. At the very least the Cinch plotline should get resolved first before delving into this new plot.
9568052
It's a good wow. I haven't read on this story since it was last updated, so I didn't remember any pony-eating entities in Equestria. I can't wait to see what happens next!
9568154
All good points, but I don't see how any of these plot lines have been "utterly ignored". Put on the back burner? Maybe, but think about the real implications, here. The antagonists we've been introduced to now are going after Celestia, who is now facing potential scandal, and is distracted from dealing with issues on Earth. These are factors brought up in the course of the plot so far that will likely affect the emerging B-plot.
In its own separate story, sure! It would make for a good plot on its own, I agree. But as for this seeming notion that the new antagonists and this emerging B-plot didn't have appropriate build-up, I don't think so. We've had build-up on this for several chapters, now, starting with these strange pony villains' jumping of that lumberjack pony.
Yes, there is quite a bit happening on the Equestria side that owes precisely zero to these three or their boss. A lot of problems coming up for Celestia, I'm sure, too. But now that we have this new B-plot to see, and know it's gonna intersect with the main one at some point, I can already figure that the existing issues are gonna be changed in nature and/or magnified considerably. That means that the B-plot is not irrelevant to the main, overarching one; it's just taking some extra time to put that plane down on the ground.
I was a bit concerned initially that this Vampire-esque subplot would derail the main storyline. I'm not completely fed up with it yet, but it's reaching the point where I seriously question why it's here, and why I should care. From my perspective, what happened was that the main character's mother's student's friend's aunt who doesn't even have a canonical first-name was attacked.
Also, since I'm now required to take this seriously, the unicorns in this universe are way too powerful. Earth Pony Strength™ is apparently not a thing, or at least so weak as to be defeated by a "magically reinforced" door, which was one of at least three spells that were being cast, simultaneously, apparently without effort or concentration required.
Also, apparently all doctors and nurses are now unicorns, or they should be. Why carry ten kinds of medical equipment around when you can cast a simple "diagnostic spell?" Or is the treatment at Ponyville Hospital viewed on the level of leeches and bloodletting by the rest of Equestria?
And while I'm on the subject of doctors.
Yes, because why would you want someone in authority to know that you've either got an outbreak of a crippling disease or the Equestrian equivalent of a serial killer going around? Is this guy actually stupid?
...
I know I'm getting overly worked up, but this is just really starting to give me bad vibes. If this is actually going to amount to anything, then that means it is going to ultimately derail the core narrative into something that I don't think anyone wanted. I really don't need another Seven Days In Sunny June.
9568990
To be fair the ponies in the hospital could be something the local government is well aware of. No doubt the police are aware based on the part about how the officer didn’t want to go into details about what was wrong. It likely they are just attempting to avoid having a full on panic about something they are still investigating.
I can understand why some readers are upset as the initial draw for the story was Sunset&Celestia mother-daughter relationship, and the difficulties Celestia faces as a ruler who's splitting her attention on top of the issues both of them face in being illegal aliens and repairing and defining their relationship.
That in and of itself could have been the first book in a series, with the Equestrian evil plot as the second. The plots running concurrently kind of makes us feel as split as Celestia, or perhaps it is a byproduct of the episodic storytelling of canon: we're used to getting a resolution before diving into the next problem.
This chapter wasn't bad per se; personally I'm experiencing Celestia withdrawal 😅 with perhaps a touch of genre confusion.
Also busting into a potentially-sensitive operation with a possibility for infection or interfering with the medical professionals left a foul taste in my mouth. There were so many ways that could have gone wrong: AJ's lucky she only broke her bone. And Twilight demanding info is fine and dandy if she had first ensured there was nothing time-sensitive he had to do to help his patients prior to her demand, but eh.
Even if the stars align for our dastardly foes, I wonder if Celestia, her soul or whatever juicy bits the big bad feasts on, can escape to her construct. I do not have high hopes for her alicorn body, but here's to Luna not flying off the handle. don't hurt woona. pls.
Anywho, welcome back and thanks for writing!
@reynard
I think it would help if you removed the "Slice of Life" tag. Even without considering the demonic side plot, this story is not at all a SoL story, but more of a pure drama.
Also, I would urge you to add the "Dark" tag for that side plot.
Damn! Have read it in one breath. Really good story! The relationship between Sunset and Celestia have been so cozy. Keep up such a good work.
9705973
Thank you very much. Admittedly I still have to do back-editing on chapters 9 and onwards (cleaning up hidden typos, commas, cleaning bits of sentences and probably uniting paragraphs), but I'm glad you liked my story.
If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
9761539
Huh. Now there's a question I never expected to get. And it's a good question. I actually sort of do voices for them as I'm writing and composing dialogue. So if you're talking about Circinus, hmm... I guess a sort of posh accent? I'm not really sure how to describe the sort of sound I use in my head.
And for Pearl. a typical Valley Girl sort of voice.
Was that helpful at all?
9861913
I'm... sorry?
Man, Cinch is truly a repugnant character.
As a principal she should be encouraging someone trying to get a GED, not mocking their intelligence.
I dread what her new scheme is.
9874956
You'll just have to find out in Book 2, won't you? Hope you enjoy it.
9909185
... I beg your pardon?
9569814
I don't totally disagree, but I think I can see enough of where this could be going to see the alternative. I think there's enough in the story that all the important character development points could be hit without these three schmucks... but it's also true that you could have completely written "A Canterlot Wedding" without any need to invent the idea of changelings and nothing really significant would have been missing emotionally. If this goes into a third book I can maybe see collating the Equestrian side of things into the middle and simply halting the EQG side for a book while we catch up and get background. But because there's almost certainly no connection beyond the circumstantial in our two antagonist groups, the alternative to introducing them early is for them to be a complete diabolus ex machina when the plots finally coincide in a way which obviously affects the human cast.
So there'd be complaining either way.
10010154
Actually, it was Legends of Tomorrow, Season 2, Episode 14, "Moonshot". One of my favorites. Which was probably a Beetlejuice reference in and of itself, and what I wrote probably made it lean back into Beetlejuice.
I just started reading this (I'm doing my own 'momlestia' fic and wanted some other author takes for reference) and I have to say that your portrayal of Princess "Sunny" Celestia is inspirational! I'm only 80~ish percent done with this volume, but I can't put it down! I even loaded it onto my Kindle e-reader so I wouldn't miss a chance to keep going!
10104172
Really, thank you very much for your kind words. I only hope I can live up to your expectations.
Thank you very much. I never really thought of my work as really inspirational to anyone, so hearing it from you was surprising.
10404278
Thank you very much.
I liked this one a lot. I don't have a lot to say beyond that besides I'm still really curious on what the story would be like if Celestia never made it in time.
Either way, good story, I have minor gripes but overall it was pretty enjoyable.
10437493
Thank you.
I loved this entire story, the Momlestia bits are always really cute with Sunset, I love seeing it with them and I just think its so adorable. Great job, hope to see more in the sequel soon :)
10561286
I totally agree, so don't forget to thank the artist that created it in the first place.
10568039
Close, but no prize.
Still one, if not my favorite, Sunset Shimmer story on the site.
Her charactersation never feels forced, and it's easy to imagine Sunset and the others going through similar motions in cannon.
Appreciate the work put in to this, and it's sequel. Here's hoping it sees a continuation some day.
11165845
Yes! Good eye!
I would really like for you to continue the sequel (especially since the magic-stealing plot going on in Equestria is really worrying me), but I also would love it if you made a side story about Glimmering Pearl Luxury passing her GED and going sailing. Maybe she'll decide to work as a cargo deliverer? That way she could make a living off of sailing.