- Member Since 28th Oct, 2016
- offline last seen Aug 23rd, 2022
Brittywritesponi
I enjoy writing dark natured stuff and wish to die buried beneath 1,000,000 pony plushies. I feed off of the dislikes. Also a proud part of the Headless_Rainbow family.
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...No. Just No.
You have freedom of speech, and you use it to post shit like this? I don't judge, but please keep the more extreme fetishes to yourself. We don't want to see stuff like this.
First thing, I'm going to say I have nothing against you as a person or an author; hell, I don't know you. I'm not going to yuck your yums, but I didn't really care for the story. I applaud your moxie. However, it's only fair that I downvote this. Food for thought: next time you write, ask yourself, "Who would benefit from this piece of literature?"
Generally it seems like most people here have a high tolerance for most things, but child snuff is too far past the 'not safe for life' line to justify reading and or liking.
Sorry man, I don't know if you like this stuff or not, but I highly discourage posting this, if not for our sake, then for your own.
8026263 I apologize if I offended you with this sort of subject. I have updated the authors note in this story to give some clarification on age and intention. Whilst it was my intention to offend people with the dark and grotesque subject matter, foalcon triggers were not my intention though I should have clarified.
8026994 I wouldnt bother. People will still read the story or even only the tags/description and still be offended. Just for attention or the feeling of being "in the right".
As for the story. 2/3 of it is written quite fine and interesting. I love the detailed description of Gabby body and all the killer do to her before pouring poison down her throat. But after that point it gets messy, I mean it literally and figuratively. There is so much jumping all over the place that's is hard to focus and it speed up rapidly compared to the story flow before that. The vomit, shiting and pissing - not my thing but its not forced and quite fit the way of death - maybe not the scat its a little bit forced - but it have (beside vomit) no impact on the rapist actions later (he eats her ass but what happened to all the shit that should be there?).
Anyway - get used to negative comments. Most people that like this kind of stories dont comment in fear of being marked as freaks. Most comments are from white knights who have nothing better to do then act offended.
I hardly recommend using two accounts one to post stories of this kind where you can basically show a middle finger to all the negative no constructive comments and other for your "normal" stuff. Or be like headless_rainbow and just tale them that the more they comment how they hate it the more you will make. :D
Anyway - yey for more necro stories - do CMC next!
8027176 you seemed to enjoy this story and I agree with you, the last part of the story seemed fast paced and sloppy. I tried fixing it up as I am writing this and it seems more acceptable than it was before. Thank you for your criticism. I as well know that these stories on this site always got a ton of hate due to they're nature, but I want to say thank you for caring about that as well. I do however have a second account for more 'normal' stories (Nathanystories) but I will think about that CMC story you suggested.
8027358 heh no problemo! If you need some help with anything feel free to message me! :D
Masterpiece. I'll be back after work to taunt haters and give a better review.
8025155 Yes they should keep it to themselves. They should post it somewhere with a clear warning so innocents like you won't accidentally read it.
Wait...
8025422 Are you really so naive that you believe anyone that likes this story cares about your downvote or why you did it? Just vote on the story you didn't actually read and go on your way.
8026263 That's a very complicated way of saying "Stop liking what I don't like!" On the other hoof, you're so nice about it that I can't actually call you a hater. Good job.
8026994 I'm pre-emptively apologizing if me poking at your comments is annoying. Sorry.
My review that no one asked for or cares about:
First let me say that I loved the physical description and the details you put into this. You toke more time to describe the characters then I typically do, and that helped it. The details you put into the act were absolutely delicious, and Gabby was a great choice of victim. A less innocent victim wouldn't have been nearly as hot. I could really imagine the horror she was feeling as she was slaughtered without mercy. I'm not kidding; when I got up from my work desk after reading this, I could feel my wet panties clinging to my skin. (I'm such a hard worker)
The main problem I'd say is more with the formatting, which you mentioned in the author comments. Just to say, it'd be a lot easier to read if it was cut into more paragraphs, the large blocks of text are more difficult to read, especially on a phone. With dialogue, each character's dialogue should be in it's own paragraph unless there's a compelling reason not to, just for ease of reading. (A rule that I often break, but that is still a good idea in general.)
It doesn't look like you are, but I will say to not worry about the down-votes. The majority of those are people that didn't even read it; they down-voted because you dared to protect them from your content with detailed warnings in your description. Many can't help it; some people never rise above their childhood programming.
Either way, you're very good at this type of story, and I hope to see more from you. I'd be happy to help if you wanted feedback on something prior to publishing, though no promises on how prompt I'll be. You're also very welcome to write spin-offs or stories that take place in the same universe as my stories, if for some insane reason you'd like to do so.
Also a few random things:
You gave a cock length, which was great, but just a suggestion; I normally describe cocks with a relative size so that the reader can picture it as they like. If you do give the length of something, I'd suggest not using parentheses. I think 'eight-inch cock' flows better than cock (8 in).
You missed a space between here: wet.His
You have 'whimp' where the word should be 'whimper'.
That's about it. I hope I did you some good. I had good intentions!
8189073
I have nothing against this author personally. I just discourage him from posting this type of content because the majority of the feedback he receives is only going to be negative, which will stunt his growth and development as an author.
It's true that I don't like this kind of thing, but I wouldn't let that impede my judgement when it comes to reviewing the story itself. I didn't dislike this story, but if I did, it would be due to lack of prose and cohesiveness of a story. This isn't a dark story with very violent elements, it's violence for the sake of violence. I wouldn't want any story to be like that, like porn without a story for example.
8189141
That makes sense.
Do consider though that some people don't take negative feedback badly. In my view, the ability to not take it personally is critical for an author.
I agree that it had no cohesiveness of plot, but I didn't judge it on that because it wasn't made with that intent. I try to judge stories on if they fulfilled their goal, and the goal of this one WAS to make clop/gore for the sake of it, and to me it did that well.
An extreme example of what I'm talking about is Spiderses. The fanfic was intentionally made to be bad, so by being a terrible fanfic, it did exactly what it attempted. That's why it was so great!
To add: I feel like you're assuming that there isn't an audience for this. Last month I got paid $1,050 for a single gore fic commission. There is definitely an audience for this.
8189175
I'll have to agree to disagree with you on what defines a well-made story, I suppose. You seem like a agreeable person, so I'm sure you'd understand as to why I'd rather not discuss the nuances of this particular story.
I'm a big fan of horror stories though, have a nice day.
8189073 Look, buddy, I'm not trying to pick a fight. Firstly, I did read it, and I did find it sickly intriguing. Secondly, I was just trying to do what some people here don't: make an informed decision. Lastly, I'm not about to sit here and be insulted by someone who doesn't know the inner machinations of my twisted mind. And I'm not all that naïve; I'm just trying to be nice about it.
8189383 How about that.
"Why did you make this...why? Keep this to yourself, this is not cool.
I mean, i'm not offended by this at all, nor hate the author, i'm just disappointed at them for making content like this."
Sorry about making this comment those years ago! I have been around these kind of stories more often and have come to see the beauty in them. I actually do enjoy this story more than I did back in 2017.
Again, am sorry for what I said back then! >w<
8189121
I apologize that I am replying late, I'm not a constant user of this site. But thank you for the constructive criticism. It means a lot to me that people enjoy my writings and that people still give a voice to these kind of stories in the modern social state. I will take your complaints into consideration for any upcoming tales or ideas that I decide to write about. Ive learned from the best and hope you enjoy any other future content.
8468708
I made it cause it entertains many. I enjoy writing things like this and if people like it and it’s not hurting most, then why stop. You can argue why do most creators on this site write, it’s pony stuff, isn’t it stupid. It isn’t. I write for the same reason as everyone else. It’s enjoyable and I like to please people with my writing.
Super hot. Would love to see her dad come and find her and decide to fuck her corpse again so she doesn't go to waste. Or just anything like this!