Death at a Party

by Joural

Fluttershy

With a splash, a tear fell from Fluttershy's chin. She sniffled and wiped her eyes, leaning against Twilight. She knew that Twilight would be blaming herself, probably thinking about how she and Applejack had ruined so much for Pinkie, but somehow she couldn't get out the words anymore, couldn't tell Twilight what she knew, what she'd known for months, and why it was all her fault. But she couldn't do it, couldn't bear to see the reproach in her marefriend's eyes when she knew how horrible and selfish she had been.

Fluttershy was scared. That was hardly a unique experience, but for once she wasn't afraid something would hurt her, or that she would hurt somepony else. This time, she was afraid that she was going to do something stupid, and that Twilight would hate her. Somewhere in her mind she knew that was a silly thing to be afraid of, that Twilight would still be her friend, even if she did do something stupid and made her angry. Somehow, knowing that just made it worse.

It was not a new fear, but it was stronger than it had ever been before, because she was planning to do something about it. For months she had come up with excuses and reasons and distractions to keep herself from addressing the fact, and, be it a blessing or a curse, Twilight remained entirely unaware of her feelings due to the naive mare's inexperience with even basic social interaction, never mind hunting out secrets and recognizing tells that something isn't alright.

Of course, she'd never have reached this point if not for her helper and torturer. The pink mare, who was at that moment hopping about in Fluttershy's kitchen, carefully avoiding her near catatonic friend, preparing a meal to wow Twilight. She had discovered the secret after a late party, partly because Pinkie Pie was one of the most attentive ponies in Equestria, and partially because she had caught Fluttershy stroking a sleeping Twilight's hair after the over-tired mare had fallen asleep. What followed was the quietest scream Fluttershy had ever heard.

Eventually Fluttershy shook her way from her stupor, just in time to find that Pinkie had left the building and mere minutes remained before Twilight was to arrive—again courtesy of Pinkie—who had invited Twilight to "An extra super special party for grown-ups only,". Fluttershy fretted as the clock ticked on, and tried to distract herself by feeding the animals in her cottage, only to find that Pinkie had beaten her to the punch, and even led the snakes that normally slept in her couch outside where Twilight wouldn't see them. Stumped for things to do, she was eventually forced to relax and do nothing until Twilight arrived.

Fluttershy smiled as she remembered that first date. She and Twilight had been so awkward, it took her almost an hour to admit why she'd had Pinkie invite Twilight over, and once she had things had just kind of spiraled into a happy ending. Well, as happy as they could be when one of their friends hated her for being who she was. Still, she wouldn't have traded that time for anything.

Unfortunately, even that memory was tinged with sadness. As fast as the memory had come, she remembered the context: a promise made, but never kept. Pinkie had helped her to "get her mare," so to speak, but she'd never been able to help Pinkie get hers. She'd tried, of course. They'd made plan after plan after plan, and every one had fallen through. Rainbow had been sick when Pinkie planned dates, Rainbow had missed hints dropped with all the subtlety of rock slides, and emergencies had pulled Fluttershy away from preparations, causing Pinkie to lose her nerve. Then, of course, came the worst thing: Rainbow had left.

It hadn't been insurmountable—the Wonderbolts had always been Rainbow's dream. Of course, Pinkie had known that if she wooed Rainbow she'd only see her in the spaces between shows. With this in mind, they had started planning a new way for Pinkie to seek Rainbow's affection, so that Pinkie could be ready whenever Rainbow came home.

Except she never did. With every week that passed, their visits grew shorter and Fluttershy could see Pinkie growing a little quieter. Before now, it had been simple enough to ignore the failures—'oh, we'll do it next time,' she'd tell Pinkie, and then they'd talk about how they would do it and the great big party they'd all have when Rainbow said yes. They never addressed the elephant in the room, because if they did then that made it real. Yes, Rainbow might reject her, might even hate her for asking, but they couldn't talk about it. She might not, though, and that was too good to ignore.

Then she and Twilight had made their ill-fated admission, and Applejack had made her position clear. It had made the possibility that Rainbow would reject her real, and it made everything else seem impossible. Pinkie, being Pinkie, took that as a challenge. She said 'If I want to make Rainbow love me, she can't be worrying about Applejack when she comes home,' and that was that. Pinkie was off, to change Applejack's mind. And it almost worked. Unfortunately for Pinkie,Twilight refused to forget. Pinkie only saw Twilight's anger, but Fluttershy had seen how deeply the rejection had hurt Twilight. So many nights had been spent in tears, until Twilight had resolved to hate Applejack. Fluttershy knew the moment it had happened. The sobs had stopped, and Twilight had opened her eyes, and started glaring out the window.

In the moment that Twilight made her decision, Fluttershy knew Pinkie's quest was doomed. Applejack could come crawling back on her knees, all the wealth of a thousand nations piled on her back as a gift and token of her sorrow over her actions, and Twilight would turn her away. Twilight had the singular ability to hold to any idea, no matter how erroneous, through dissenting voices, unarguable proofs, and rejection by everyone she knew. She was, after all, the smartest mare in a great many rooms. She had great experience with being right, but almost none with being wrong.

So, in time, Applejack did the only kind thing she could for Pinkie—she turned her away. And, in doing so, she isolated Pinkie not just from herself, but also from Twilight. Pinkie was left with only one true friend, and so told her everything. Rarity's attempts to avoid her, Twilight's gruffness, Applejack's flat, sometimes tearful rejections, the strange, sad looks she got from the cakes, and most of all Rainbow's absence. Pinkie was, of course, convinced that if Rainbow returned it would somehow fix everything. Rarity would come home, she'd force Twilight to talk to applejack, and they'd be together. It was all she wanted, the one thing she could hold onto.

And then, the letter came. Fluttershy wiped her eyes, steeling herself against the cold. Twilight had gone inside a while ago, no doubt to confront Applejack, and she was left with nothing to do. Not nothing, she realized after a moment’s thought. She needed to say her goodbye to Pinkie. She'd been there before, but never to say goodbye. She had apologized, she had wept, but she hadn't said farewell.

Course set, she walked from Sugarcube Corner to the cemetery, preparing to finally send off her closest friend.

Author's Note:

This has been a long time coming!

These chapters fought me, but now I can finally tick the little completed box! You'll have to excuse me, any further pontificating will be saved for the final chapter.

Comments

[ShadowWing09]

She was, after all, the smartest mare in a great many rooms. She had great experience with being right, but almost none with being wrong.

That's not true, Twilight's been wrong before, and she's quick to own up to it, too

In fact, she's been known to take the blame for stuff that WASN'T her fault, and she's very forgiving.