• Member Since 19th Nov, 2014
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markzilla6895


E

Part of http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Chronicler06 's http://www.fimfiction.net/story/166077/lego-equestria-girls universe, the Lego Team is opened to a bigger universe as multiple rifts open in Canterlot City, bringing in unexpected characters from numerous dimensions....

...or it could just be the humans are playing with Twilight's Lego set again.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 29 )

So, this takes place after LEGO Equestria Girls 4? I'm enjoying this story so far, but I'm a bit concerned with continuity. LEGO Equestria Girls 4 hasn't been finished yet, and I'm a bit worried about any continuity snags that might occur because of it. Oh, well, it's a fun story anyway.

The cuts to the real world are so adorable. Also, did Chronicler06 approve of the "Fluttershy can heal" bit? I mean, not that it's bad. It's actually quite good, but you did say that this was supposed to fit in his/her universe, and that bit could potentially be problematic if he/she decides to write another story in this setting. I'm just saying.

8053574
They did approve of the healing

8053552

Well, I'm going off the basic plot of Legend of Everfree

I'm not sure if that trick would've worked in canon, but it was clever and funny.:rainbowlaugh:

Comment posted by Godslittleprincess deleted Mar 27th, 2017

8054072 Though it actually makes sense once you realize this is all happening in the humans' imagination

It was a fun chapter, but you missed out on using a lot of the better jokes from the movie, including this one:

Oh, well. :twilightsmile:

8054204 to be fair, I had only seen it once when I wrote the chapter ^^;

Ah, the annoying chase music. What Scooby Doo Chase scene would be complete without it? :rainbowlaugh:

8071311 Indeed! XD I hoped to parody the usual tropes of the Scooby formula

8053574 8053603 Technically, I don't think I necessarily "approved" of any new details like this one or the introduction of a Lego Chrysalis. To be more accurate, I believe what I had said was that, as long as this is considered not canon with my series but rather just simply based on its universe, I would be okay with whatever you decide to do in this story. (In other words, I prefer to see this as a fanfiction of a fanfiction.)

8053552 Not to give away any spoilers, but considering what I've got planned, there are sure to be a few "continuity snags". However, as long as this story is considered not canon with my series, that issue can be completely disregarded. (Like I said, as long as this story is meant to be a fanfiction of a fanfiction, I won't try to dictate what can or can't be acceptable.)

8071435 So, this is an AU of an AU, as in AU-ception. :applejackconfused: :rainbowlaugh:

Congratulations. You just made a robot blowing up sad. :fluttercry:

8076446 hey, it was sad in the original game too

8076449 I'm not familiar with the game. :twilightsheepish: Besides, I doubt the game had crying Fluttershy. :trollestia:

Although I've already mentioned that I'd like to avoid trying to get involved in what is after all someone else's story, I feel like I need to point out a serious flaw in the final paragraph of this chapter regarding the Jump-Gate (which is, after all, my original idea, and therefore I feel like I need to clarify how it works).

The way a Jump-Gate works is that a large solid door with some machinery attached is built in a specific location and permits access to any location. But out in the field, the portable device can only open access to a preexisting Jump-Gate. So if one wants to go from one field to another, one would first have to enter the identity code for a specific Jump-Gate (for example, the one in the LEGO Team Headquarters building in Canterlot City), then go through and then close the gateway, then enter the coordinates in that Jump-Gate's system to open the doorway to the new location.

The problem I'm trying to point out is this: If both sides of the doorway are out in the open, then where's the door itself?

8076908 Wait. Hold on. Let me see if I understand what happened. :applejackunsure: Twilight and Tails built a new jump gate on the back of Tails's plane? That's what I'm getting. Is that what you meant to imply?

8078414 No, I changed it to just the plane

Hmm. I don't know. This chapter feels like it went a bit too fast. I kind of expected Maleficent to be WAY harder to beat than that, but then again, the LEGO Team has had their fair share of fighting evil magic.

8083675 well, she's not the "final boss" after all ;)

plus, this chapter took A LOT out of me today

Awww. That was a sweet ending. :twilightsmile::scootangel:

8084708 well, I've already written the sequel's first chapter, just waiting for it to be approved

This story is completed already? Wow, that went fast... perhaps a little too fast. Although you got these chapters done remarkably quickly, I think it's clear the quality is a little lacking. (Now that I think about it, it seems that when it comes to writing, the writer apparently can't have both speed and quality; one must be sacrificed for the other, and I prefer to prioritize quality, which explains why my stories tend to take nearly a year to complete.) My advice, take some time to read through your chapters one or two more times and making any corrections or improvements you can think of before posting them online. Trust me, that extra effort would be worth it.

For this story itself, I'd say it's not bad for a novice writer, but there's a lot of ways you could've made it better. I'll confess that I'm not very good at giving helpful advice, so I'll just simply state that the way I see it, the pace seemed to go too fast in many places, there's hardly any descriptions in certain parts, some references felt like they were forced in there, and (my personal opinion, though others would disagree) it felt to me like this was mostly a Sonic crossover with a bunch of random cameos rather than a Lego story (there's a reason why I've refused to include any licensed themes in any of my stories).

Regardless, if you really are planning to continue writing, then as long as your series remains not canon to mine (a fanfiction of a fanfiction), then I won't try to stop you or tell you what to do.

8085755 well, I will make note of that but you will let me take a few elements from your stories, right?

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