Rainbow Dash and Social Politics
Rainbow Dash and Social Politics
“I have to say Pinkie Pie, I'm disappointed.” Rainbow Dash said, crossing her forelimbs over her chest. The two ponies were alone in the kitchen of Sugar Cube Corner.
“What do you mean Dashie?” A genuinely confused Pinkie asked.
“This prank.” The pegasus explained. “It's way below your standards.”
“This isn't a prank silly!”
“Yeah, right.” Dash's tone was even, not willing to let the party mare get the better of her. “You invited me here to talk to my fans, and nopony's here. I mean, this barely even qualifies as a prank!”
“But our fans are here. They're just not here here.”
“Alright, then where are they?”
Pinkie turned Dash's head and pointed at a blank wall with her hoof. “They live there, but they're not ponies.”
The be-rainbowed pegasus quirked an eyebrow. “Alright, the prank is getting a little better, but it's still pretty lame.”
Pinkie let out an exasperated sight. “No silly, just 'cause you can't see them doesn't mean they're not there, and they want to learn about ponies and stuff.”
Rainbow Dash never gave up (or admitted being wrong, or obeyed the speed limit), but arguing with Pinkie Pie was impossible. So, the blue mare decided to play along for now, it wasn't losing if you chose to go along with it. She just needed one question answered first.
“Are you still seeing that shrink Pinks?”
“No, he got arrested. Turns out he wasn't a real psychiatrist.”
“Huh.”
“So are you ready to answer a question for the fans?”
Dash just rolled her eyes. “Sure Pinkie, let me hear it.”
The pink mare pulled a folded napkin from her mane (she had run out of index cards earlier that week while making that full-scale Papier-mâché replica of Ponyville). With a flourish she read allowed, “What is Equestria's status on same sex partners?”
“That's the question? Come on, everypony already knows this stuff.”
“Yeah, but our fans might not know about it.” Pinkie explained. “And face the audience when you talk.”
“Right. The 'fans.'” Rainbow turned toward the indicated kitchen wall with as much annoyance as she could muster. Beginning her speech she said, “Same sex couples have all the rights and freedoms as heterosexuals.”
When it became apparent that no more information was coming, the earth pony prompted. “Um, could you maybe give some more detail?”
“What else is there to say? They have the same rights as everypony else. It's not that complicated, I don't understand why some ponies make a big deal out of it.”
“Well, maybe you could explain some history around it? Or talk about the ponies who do make a big deal about it?”
“Ugh, you're killing me here Pinkie! Why don't you get Twilight to explain that egghead stuff to you?”
“But you're the perfect pony to explain this stuff! And I already know all this info, we're doing this for the benefit of the fans!”
She wouldn't let up about these 'fans.' Dash placed a weary hoof to her face. Despite popular opinion, Rainbow wasn't a lazy pony, but half an hour talking with Pinkie felt like a full day flight marathon. Knowing this wouldn't end until she either finished, or Pinkie got bored, she pressed on.
“For as long a Princess Celestia has ruled, ponies have not been persecuted for who they fall in love with, as long as it's between consenting, non-related adults.” The pegasus spoke in a monotonous drone, as though she were giving a report in high school. “Despite being backed by the princess, some ponies don't like this and think only a mare and stallion should be together. I don't know why they think this, it's 'cause they're stupid or something.”
Dash turned to Pinkie, her look saying, Am I done yet? Pinkie turned to Dash, her mouth saying, “That was better Dashie. Now, Ponyville is very accepting of 'non-traditional' couples. Are there places that aren't like that?”
Having gained some momentum, Dash's response came more naturally. “Yeah. Most big cities and their suburbs are pretty accepting. But a lot of the smaller, out-of-the-way towns are still really old fashioned. The one big exception is Cloudsdale, the pegasi there are really 'traditional' in their views, and are pretty open about discouraging same sex relationships.”
“That's very interesting, especially since they used to be all for that paiderastia stuff.”
“Gesundheit.”
“So...” Pinkie paused, and a smile grew across her face. “Is that why you moved to Ponyville?”
“Huh? No, I moved to Ponyville 'cause a weather job opened up. And since Fluttershy lived down here, it meant I already knew someone in town.”
“Oh.” Pinkies smile deflated a little, but soon sprang back. “But it must have been nice finding out you moved to a town that was so much more understanding about this type of thing.”
“I don'know, I guess. I never really thought about it before.”
Pinkie had to force her grin to stay in place, the conversation wasn't going like she had planned. Maybe she should be less subtle. “So uh, next question, uh: are you attracted to other mares?”
“Nah, I'm not really attracted to anybody.”
“Huh?” Pinkie's mouth hung wide open. Considering the amount of cake she was able to fit in there, this was an impressive sight.
“Yeah, I've never found myself physically or romantically attracted to anyone.” Dash explained, oblivious to her friend's shocked expression. “Twilight called it 'asexuality' or something.”
“But... but...Wait, you talked to Twilight about this?”
“Yeah, it came up in conversation. That was a really weird day though. She invited me over, and we went up to her room. She must've been eating in bed, 'cause there were rose petals all over her sheets. And she was wearing this really frilly saddle she must've gotten from Rarity, even though we weren't going out anywhere and it was warm that day. So we just talked for a while, and she asked if I liked fillies, and I said I didn't like anybody, and she said I was asexual. I don't know if I am or not, but whatever. For some reason she only cleaned up the rose petals and took off the saddle after we finished talking.”
“Oh, uh, well thanks for talking to our fans about this.” Pinkie's earlier enthusiasm seemed to have disappeared, but this change was lost on Dash who just wanted to go home and sleep.
“I'll see ya latter Pinks.” The pegasus waved as she flew out the door. “And try to work on your pranks, you've gotten rusty.”
Pinkie got off her seat and walked slowly towards the icebox. After a moment of rummaging she pulled out a large sheet cake and a bouquet of flowers. Setting them both on a table, Pinkie looked down at the decorations on the desert. There were two ponies, one pink and one blue, above them in frosting letters was written Hey Dashie, I Think You're Cute! Let's Make Out! The pink pony sighed and started eating, maybe she'd visit Twilight tomorrow.
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Rainbow Dash has no time for relationships she is already married to the Sky.
Hahahahah
RD being asexual, that's a fresh spin on it
Poor Pinkie.
Good chapter, keep up the good work
i like the running gag about the psychiatrist. and i really loved the ending for this chapter.
Hah! I'm loving this so far! We've still got Twilight and Rarity to go.
What, is the next one gonna be a sex-predator or something?
First Twi', the Pinkie? You're killing the admirers RD, killing them!
Well now I'm sad for Twi and Pinkie...
Hmmm so RD sexuality is finally out .... And wel .....
I humbly request another preferbly on earth pony magic and rock farming.
Seems legit.
loved it I loved it best chapter yet lol.
lol nice PieDash allusion in there
Rainbow dash has no idea whats she's missing.
Only logical. Rainbow Dash has been paired up with everything else, so getting paired with absolutely nothing was all that was left.
Asexual dash is best dash
"anybody" Shouldn't it be "anypony"?
Wow, that's kinda depressing. I feel bad for Twilight and Pinkie
Huh. This chapter was actually almost... kinda sad.
Now I feel bad for Twi and Pinkie...
I feel so bad for Twi and Pinkie. They put so much effort into confessing their love to her, and yet they find she is mentally incapable of returning even the smallest part of it. The only way that could be worse is if she had a similar experience with (a full grown) Sccotaloo.
Twi, frilly saddle, rose petals...
Somepony got into Rarity's bad romance books didn't she?
i waited so long, and this was the best ending ever. no
and 
for you!
1007208
eeyup.
pinkie shall find romance with twilight
That was great. Explains a lot too.
poor Pinkie, poor Twi. The only logical thing to do is team up on Dashie
Okay, firstly it's worth noting that I usually take EXTREME pains to avoid meta-fiction, since it is generally gimmicky and/or trollish and/or a transparent grab for Featured status.
That said, this set of vignettes is fairly accurately characterized, with a few of its own running gags that add a bit of humour. It doesn't seem to include any eyebrow-raising anachronisms like Internet sites or DVDs, and while it has Pinkie break the fourth wall a LOT harder than is customary in canon, her Wise-Fool persona is presented well.
I am still not really a fan of this "genre", but this is a very good example of its breed, and a simple but witty and entertaining read. Thank you - honestly, no-sarcasm THANK YOU - for not making me regret reading this.
I actually look forward to more!
I feel so sorry for pinkie now.
TwiDash, RainbowPie and Twinkie... all the ships
I just want to say when Rainbow didn't understand the rose petals on the bed my heart broke a little. This is a great series and i was worried that this was given up on, but I am happy it is continuing keep up the great work
my favorite part of this chapter has to be how completely oblivious Rainbow Dash is to any sexual displays
Poor twilight, how much more blunt do you need to be to get Rainbow Dash to conclude you want to know her a bit better 
That ending was sad. I would have still tried it, if I were in Pinkie's horseshoes.
Rainbow Dash is Rainbow Dash-sexual, duh. There is no one as amazing or worthy to share the life or bed of the Dash as the Dash, who already has the Dash, so there is no reason to think about romantic relationships with non-Dash ponies.
Or, to put it another way, if you've already got the Cadillac, why even bother even looking at a Yugo?
Paiderastia? Really? I guess it makes sense, what with the ancient Pegasi seeming awfully like ancient Greece. I never thought I'd see that kind of reference in ponies...
1006872
for some reason you have me being reminded of Mako Tsunami from Yugioh The Abridged Series....being married to the Ocean and everything..
Poor, poor Pinkie Pie...
Maybe Twilight's interested?
Or you could always try Fluttershy.
You know, put that "asexual" thing to the test. If RD freaks out... 
AAAAWWWWWW
Poor Pinkie Pie......I'm a fan of Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie romance so I'm disappointed that she was turned down in a way she did not expect....damn. Anyway, funny as buck chapter, I would say poor Twilight but I'm not that much of a fan of that pairing, anyway...really hoping for the next chapter soon, your doing amazing.
Loved Rainbow's way of speaking in ths chapter. Though I agree with Twilight/PinkiePie.
ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134165019255.jpg
RAINBOW DASH?! Asexual?!?!?
Poor Dash. One of these days somepony is going to knock her off her hooves, and she won't know what hit her.
...and that's how SparklePie was made!
Great chapter, but I can't help feeling sorry for Twi and Pinkie.
Is this the same shrink, or does she really go through that many?
If she does, then I know how she feels.
Hmmm, for Rarity... how about the social conventions surrounding clothing? Specifically nudity.
RD as an asexual makes perfect sense to me.
...
...
omg that's hilarious!
Breaking the Fourth Wall
,Spreading Mindfucksdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png ,Random Stuffdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png and Making Pinkie A lil' Bit Saddl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Pinkie_Pie.png .
and dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png Anothe Follower.
All In One Fic!Genius!
You Just Earned A
-Daddy Discorddl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png
That has to be one of the biggest anti-ship torpedoes I've ever seen.
Rainbow Dash being asexual. Never thought of it before, but that does make a lot of sense. That inclusion alone would make it a good chapter, but it was all funny! Especially the ending.
1006872 nope, herself
1007475 lol im not the only one wh watches it!!!
lol, twilight tried before pinkie pie.
at the speed of... books.