Applejack and Farm Animals
Applejack and Farm Animals
Sugar Cube Corner was empty. It was past closing time and the Cakes were away visiting family. The only occupants were two earth ponies sitting in the kitchen, one pink, one orange. The orange one was not happy.
“Durn'it Pinkie! Y'all said you wanted me to lead a discussion on farmin'!” Shouted Applejack.
“I do!” Pinkie Pie said.
“But there ain't nopony else here. How am Ah supposed to talk about the farm if it's jus' the two of us?”
“That's what I've been trying to tell you!” The pink pony explained. “We're not alone, and the people I want you to talk to aren't ponies.”
Pinkie was being more confusing than usual, so Applejack simply asked. “Beg pardon?”
“Yeah! I wanted you to explain some stuff about farming to our fans.”
“Ah'm afraid Ah still don't follow.” AJ should have known better than to rely on Pinkie's ability to clarify things.
“Our fans silly!” The party mare just rolled her eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I just need you to sit here, look straight at our fans, and answer the questions I give you.”
Pinkie adjusted the farmer to face one of the kitchen's walls. Each answer just brought up more questions. “Yer tellin' me that this here wall is our 'fans?'”
“Yup!” At least that answer only left one more question to ask.
“Are you still seein' that new psychiatrist the court sent out here sugar cube?”
“No.” Pinkie's smile faded for a moment. “He's been committed to the mental ward in Ponyville hospital. I tried to bring him some get-well balloons and cake, but the doctors wouldn't let me in.”
“Oh, uh, sorry sugar cube.”
Pinkie's grin returned almost immediately however. “That's okay! Everypony at the hospital is super nice, I'm sure he'll make lots of new friends!”
“Alright then.”
“So anyway, are you ready to answer some farming questions for our fans?”
Applejack sighed. This was just another case of 'Pinkie being Pinkie.' The hyper mare was probably just curious about some of the work the farmer did, and wanted to make a game out of finding out. “Sure Pinks, shoot.”
“Okie Dokie Loki!” Pinkie pulled an index card from somewhere comical and read. “Cows produce milk, chickens produce eggs, and sheep produce wool, all of which ponies use. The question is: why do ponies keep pigs along with all these other creatures?”
“That's a good question Pinkie, the reason we-”
“Look at the audience.” The pink mare interrupted.
“Oh, right.” Applejack turned towards the wall. “The pigs at our farm will eat just about any waste we make. Then they, uh, produce manure which we use as fertilizer. Basically the pigs act as a fast paced composter.”
Satisfied with her answer AJ gave a nod, to which Pinkie replied. “But I'm confused. All the sheep I know love to eat trash, and cows are great at making manure. I remember one time Daisy Jo came in and asked to use the bathroom, I must have gone through five plungers that day it-”
Pinkie was interrupted by an orange hoof in her mouth. Applejack said. “Ah think Ah get the picture. Might not be too appropriate for our 'fans' don't'ya think?”
The party pony nodded and tried to agree around the hoof, once it was removed she said. “I just think it's weird that ponies keep pigs when other farm animals do their job, and give something extra too.”
“When ya put it that way, it does seem a bit odd.” The orange pony pushed her hat back. “All's Ah can tell ya is that farm ponies have always kept pigs. It's just one of those things that's done.
Pigs have been part of a farm for as long as ponies've been farmin'. Twilight could probably show ya a book of old pantin's and artifacts goin' back thousands and thousands of years, and on any one of them showin' a farm there'll be a pig on it.”
“So you don't think it's weird?” Pinkie asked. “You haven't wondered why ponies started keeping pigs in the first place?”
“Not 'till now Ah haven't. Like Ah said, it's just one of those things that's done. It's like wearin' a saddle, or usin' a shovel or axe. They're designed kinda silly, but that's the way they were always made so ponies don't bother to change 'em.”
“Well thank you Applejack, that was very informative.” Pinkie put out her hoof to shake AJ's.
“Uh, any time Pinkie.”
“Unfortunately that's all the time we have for today, so we'll have to say goodbye to our audience.”
“Yeah, right, uh, bye wall non-ponies.”
Applejack walked out of the Corner wondering what that was all about. That night she couldn't sleep, she kept thinking of different areas of pony life that just didn't make sense. What was worse was that there were so many things that could be improved on that it was a wonder that nopony had done it before. It was almost as if their technology and way of life was designed by someone else, someone who wasn't a pony. The farmer chuckled to herself. She was starting to sound like Rainbow Dash after she'd read the last Daring Do novel. Ancient space ponies constructing equine civilization my hoof.
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if not for the magic Grip ponies would have a hard time using tools at all.
I like it.
Haha!
Funny last sentence...
I wonder what fate will befall the next psychiatrist. Really sounds like she's burning through them.
Love it
Astounding story. I wonder if it's EQD-worthy. Something like this would be great to put forth into the brony community at large, in order to correct misconceptions, establish canonical fact, and entertain the masses. Bravo, good sir. Bravo.
Hey, Lyra can have a "Welcome to being called crazy, but we're not really, and we're the only ones who notice our society doesn't make sense" party!
945430
948704
I'd say it's EQD worthy, but they don't like to post multiparters until there are a decent amount of parts.
It is, however, already going to a larger number of readers because of the feature box.
948627
You mean the Phlebotinum particles their hooves emit that allows it?
It's completely natural...
948751 Good point. That led me to see it, after all. Good point indeed. Also, your avatar looks awesome.
948758
Don't credit me for it, go here instead
948753 yeah but Phlebotinum particles is such a mouth full. Magic grip rolls of the tongue easier.
948769 Dang. KittyNumber7 got SKILLS.
Somepony's been reading Anthropology... LOL
But that was my theory on the pigs as well. Looking forward to more.
...She knows...
...this wasn't as good as the last one, and if it wasn't for the fact that ponies don't eat meat(but do eat eggs) I'd say that pigs would be better for disposing of garbage than other animals...maybe the sheep and cows just don't like leftovers..or maybe they unionized to not be fed leftovers..or maybe it's the PIGS that have a union.
Yes, "Reapers."
GAH! She's on to us! Quick, Alpha Team! Extract subject now! Science team, I want full mind wipe technology here five minutes ago! Deadeye! You have point! Lets move people, go go go go go!
I liked the part with ponies in it.
Maybe Twilight can explain how she got a reputation for being somepony who'd just as soon cause you to swap bodies or teleport you into another dimension as cure your hiccups. Or how she's managed to commit such monumental failures to think as 'not looking up an unfamiliar creature Fluttershy discovered near the Everfree', 'not warning her friends that Applejack was becoming more and more obviously a danger to herself and others', and of course 'having an entire episode devoted to travel and not being aware of a single time travel trope'.
948933
I think it's Word of God that Twilight actually has mild Asperger's, so it is "MOSTLY" justified.
If Pinkie Pie keeps this up, Equestria would run out of psychiatrists.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4767-584.gif
more!
This is good. Keep doing it, please.
So... its a neat idea, and you make it hilarious, so its awesome enough to make me want to wait for the next chapter!
Would like to see twilight sparkle on something.... doorknobs maybe? or trans dimensional theory... or on the origin of magic... or- i'llshutupnow.jpg.
Lyra and humans.
I always assumed that the Pigs got free meals (in the form of bruised apples) and housing in return for digging for truffles, which the Apples would then sell to 'frou frouey' ponies for an extra bonus sum.
948990
As somebody who lives with a sister who HAS Asperger's, I can absolutely guarantee you, Twilight does NOT have Asperger's. She's far too socially competent.
Granted, she does occasionally display several symptoms in common with Asperger's, but those can be attributed to symple personality quirks.
948658
Psychologists running jokes FTW!
th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2011/328/4/1/ancient_humans_by_equestria_prevails-d4h7rms.jpg Humans.
948990
Huh. Do you have a cite for that?
I have some reasons for ponies to keep pigs:
1. Truffles! Pigs can find truffles, a delicious underground delicacy used in many delicious recipes. They command a high price, too, which means that farm ponies could sell truffles for large sums, supplementing their income. Maybe get granny that new hip. If the price is anything like that of Earth, just ONE truly good truffle could buy Applejack an entire, brand new farmhouse PLUS a barn.
From Wikipedia: "The record price paid for a single white truffle was set in December 2007, when Macau casino owner Stanley Ho paid $330,000 USD (£165,000) for a specimen weighing 1.5 kilograms (3.3 lb)" Even lesser truffles could pay for granny's hip.
2. Tribute to the Gryphon Empire! Mythologically, Gryphons - like Gilda- killed and devoured ponies. If that was once true, long ago, one of the concessions for peace might be pigs.
949280
Not the most sure about it, it's either that or mild OCPD, as far as I know.
MOAR. NOW. OR ELSE.
First of all there is no magic grip! Your all wrong!
Its ether millions of retractable cilia on their hooves or some variety of octopus suction cups. Those are the only scientific explanations.
949248 You didn't notice the parts of the story where the text was smaller than the rest? Granted, at the size chosen, it may have looked like ellipses to some.
The effect is supported by most modern word processors, as well as BBCode.
949700
Now wait a minute, all the ponies have magic. Unicorns use it through their horns and Pegasi can interact with clouds and their flight is reinforced by their magic. It would be crazy and unlogical if a race from the same species wouldn't be able to use magic in some sort of way, if someone would say that Earth ponies are not magical, then how would Earth ponies be able to give birth to Pegasi and Unicorns who are magical. Unless its caused by a recessive gen, (wich i highly doubt due to the high number of Unicorns and Pegasi), then their would be a good explanation for the fact that Earth ponies are not magical, but if it really is a recessive gen then the Unicorn and Pegasi populations should be slowly fading, the tribes of the three pony forms have merged 2000 years ago ATLEAST, Now these tribes weren't very big (the tribes were small enough to travel to a new land they called Equestria) so as the merged tribes grew and we would say that the magic of the Unicorns and Pegasi is caused by a recessive gen then the Equestrian population should consist almost entirely of Earth ponies, and even then i would be very optimistic. It would be very easy for the Unicorn and Pegasi to simply fade away due to the fact that the magic gen gets flushed away from the genpool due to the Earth ponies gens.
And i am not even talking about Alicorns.
So this is my argument why grip can be caused by magic, because it is a way for Earth ponies (and other ponies) to channel their magic. If you would like to discuss this subject with me further to uncover the best logical explanation. Then i couldn't be any happier.
Also, saying that you are the only one that has it right is a bit selfish and highly dangerous, always look critic to your own theory and always keep in mind that we don't know everything, discussing is for me a way to uncover the truth as best as possible.
Maybe you should have rainbow dash talk about filly fooling. That would be weird
Was laughing very hard when Fluttershy talked about wingboners, poor Flutter's though, she does not deserve that......damn, I never understood why ponies own animals but yet can't speak to them....are they not animals themselves and should Spike not be able to speak to Gummy due to them both being reptiles.....this is very odd...hmmmm....brings up many questions.....maybe Spike should talk about dragons or other creatures, really love this story, hoping to see more and you know for a fact I'll be tracking.
951375
Whoa there. I don't remember saying there wasn't any magic in Earth poinies. They obvious have their own magic which lets them connect with the earth, to grow stuff, and their greater strength.
952132
Hmm you got a good point there.
I'm also glad that the discussion has been started. *cheers*
But i would like to ask, why not grip, unicorns have the abillity to channel their magic through their horns in an advanced way, but they can also channel it through their mane, like when Twilight got so angry she caught on fire.
I don't think this is a perk only for Unicorns, so i'm thinking that magic in ponies is able to be directed through all kind of places of their body but it needs a trigger.
An very intense emotion is one of them, so i'm thinking that concentration also can be a trigger for grip.
952511
The reason I don't think pony grip is magic is that its too unconscious a movement. With magic both pegasus and unicorns have to think about what their doing. You and I don't really think when we are grabbing a coffee mug.
953127
True, but if something is done a lot it becomes second nature, maybe something ponies learn over the years. (same thing for tails and the proboscis of an elephant)
When a Unicorn uses a low power spell they don't really have to focus a lot, maybe the whole grip thing is a very very very low level form of magic.
If I may make a suggestion, when breaking the fourth wall, it's best to use the second-person pronoun. Rather than saying "They stared into a kitchen wall," it would be most clear to say "They stared at you." Because they are, indeed, looking at the audience/reader. That's how the fourth wall works.
948990 I think you're mistaken.
949313 Those are some good reasons.
Also apperantly cow manure is quite strong, now I feel sorry for what Pinkie Pie had to go through and what Applejack has to put up with on a daily basis.
953444 I agree with mrbossman also are you only going to the mane six or both
Had an idea like this once. Glad I never went through with it because you're knocking these out of the park. Applejack's chapter felt a bit lacking compared to Fluttershy's but she's a hard act to follow. You got a ton of source material to go on though. (Check the MLP WMG page on TV Tropes)
You're probably not taking requests but here's some topics to consider: Are unicorn horns sensitive? Does cider = beer? Why do ponies wear clothes? and for the love of Celestia, bring in the Cakes to discuss pony genetics!
really good story, I Loved it
948627 ahem...
or see Here.
953966 Ponies arent rubber ballons with coffe. its like trying that with a flat bone. you won't pick much up unless you put glue or somthing on it.