• Member Since 23rd Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Friday

TheLostNarrator


I love reading Fan fiction, and sometimes, I like creating dramatic readings for them. :) http://www.youtube.com/user/thelostnarrator

Sequels1

T

This story is a sequel to A Beloved's Curse


On such a wonderful holiday as Hearts and Hooves' Day, only the damned reminisce of memories from a past life.

The Audio Adaptation for this story can be found here!

Cover art provided by StaryKrow

Special thanks goes to Magpiepony for helping with prereading and editing.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 26 )
Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

It’s certainly interesting to see a story with this kind of tone on Valentine’s Day, which I appreciate.

T’was an interesting read, although it feels like it might be somewhat personal to you, perhaps?

Anyway yeah, I… I don’t want to use enjoy, considering the tone, but appreciate seems to work here.

Also
>Curse Word
That’s the best name ever.:yay:

When magpie wakes up there seems to be a missing word between "just" and "nightmare"

7947792 Caught that! Thank you! :)

Everytime I read these, I still picture Guiti swooping in screaming and pulling the both of you out of wherever you are, before just plopping you both down in front of him, flailing his limbs wildly as he continues to scream angrily; like some sort of deranged muppet that's concerned for his friends, while also screeching over the mispronunciation of "Appear" again.
...
Fuck my mind's a weird place.

That town is going to DIE. And Curse and Magpie will be reunited. The end.
Now to wait for that Girlfriend Tag Video/Podcast 2: Electric Boogaloo

This. Is. So. AWESOME!!!!! You, Lost, are THE BEST fimfic writer I have EVER seen!!!! :pinkiehappy:

As lovely as the others. I think you're one of the only writers I've ever seen who can write horror that has overflowing love.

...Happy Valentines Day...?

This story here and the reading on Youtube present an interesting contrast. The first section here works better thanks to the descriptions, thus easing the burden on Magpie's dialogue when it comes to describing the situation. The second section involving Ink Dye works better in the reading as hearing the distorted voice is more poignant than the flat descriptions provided here.

The familiar tinkle of a shop bell was heard when the pink pony entered. She didn’t pause to take in the overly red and pink decor that the owner had insisted upon, but instead walked to the counter looking bright and hopeful.

We're in the third person limited as the shopkeeper, but for some reason we're not getting the shopkeeper's dialogue. I don't know if he's mute and has to gesticulate at Magpie to get his point across, but it's an odd stylistic choice to not let him speak. It gets even odder when it turns out that this scene and the next are actually part of Magpie's nightmare so she's somehow dreaming of this encounter in the clerk's point of view.

She doesn’t even know that I’m going to surprise her with this.

Well, if she knows you're going to surprise her with this, it isn't exactly a surprise now, is it, Mag?

The house needed to be spotless, the meal still unfinished, and the present was sitting unwrapped on the table.

Needs some cohesion here. Try

The house needed to be spotless, the meal finished, and the present on the table wrapped.

“Oh! You’re home early! I-I didn’t think you would be home this soon. I still had a lot to finish up. Like cooking up-” she started, but was cut off by the unhappy mare who pointed at the gift and sneered. She asked what it was sternly as she hung up the scarf she had been wearing in the cold.

The reading works a lot better because the distorted voice suddenly booms here to interrupt Magpie. It's a fantastic effect. The passive voice description here doesn't work as well. Again, I don't know why the dialogue is missing. Maybe to make Ink Dye more mysterious? It doesn't quite work.

The gift now laid on the floor in the middle of the room, completely destroyed from the sheer force of the throw.

Needs more description. Ink bottle shards scattered across the floor, globs of black staining the carpet, feathers strewn about. This should be a poignant moment and the scene should linger just a little bit.

Magpie was cut off by the strike of a hoof across her face.

Passive voice weakens this in my opinion. I'd go with

A hoof strike across her face cut Magpie off.

“Mag...? Mag, what’s wrong?” Curse Word asked, shaking her Beloved as she writhed in agony from some unknown nightmare.

I think this scene would work better if it was entirely in Magpie's point of view so starting with her waking up to find a concerned Curse Word. The scene is mostly in Magpie's PoV anyway with bits that suddenly shift like this

Curse Word sighed, knowing that Magpie wouldn’t give up more information than that.

Nice work all in all, for both the video and this.

Curse Word was the best name for an OC by far:rainbowlaugh:

Probably the best story I've ever read. You earned yourself a favorite.

I read this and the others and I think: Are these stories related to you and MagPie (Aside from the OC) I mean did something simmilar happened to ether one of you to make you turn it into a amazing story?

This was incredible, as of the other stories you have written! Forget about the hate because your stories, Lost, bring emotion to others and have inspired them so much :heart::yay:

7950469

I've been thinking the same thing

8014668

Yes, ever since "The tale of the lost Narrator":moustache:

These stories hurt my heart so much :raritycry: but they are SO good and deTAILed :raritywink:

8015382 Yeah and can really happen in life like the "mask" she probably means she his her sorrow, and telling tales maybe sh was reminiscing about her loved one. And really just have a broder imagination and eliminate the figurative language and you can see it can really happen,No?:duck:I really love this face:rainbowlaugh:

8016385

I'm not so sure what you just said, but I know that there are people who write love stories/songs when it has to do with nothing thats ever happened to them.Perhaps certain elements, but other than that, this could have just been a story she thought up:trixieshiftright:


and lmao I soppose it is a nice face :rainbowlaugh:

8016433 simply saying that this may be something to do with Lost and IKR?!:rainbowlaugh:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Am I right in thinking this isn't the end of a trilogy?

8099951 Nope. It's been expanded. There will be possible two more to this story, with the final one for October... hopefully... If life doesn't kick me in the ass. XD

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

8114135
You kick it right back >:|

8114135
Is Pinkie Pie Gonna have to put a smile on Curse's face? If there's no pony else that can do it then pinkie is the mare for the job

anyone else here to see how it lines up with the scene in the chronicles of curse word?

“Hey, hey, come here. Well guess what? It was just a nightmare. But I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.” she said, cuddling into her Beloved who snuggled back happily.

:rainbowkiss::heart:!!!

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